Logic and Fire in the Magic and Madness
by LittleMissToxin
Summary: Humans were never made to deal with the horrors of the demon world. Murder doesn't come naturally to most. It doesn't come naturally to witches. Finley was thrown into this nightmare. But there's always light in the darkest times and the darkest minds. You just have to turn on the light, or light the fire. Rated M for future chapters, language and themes. HieixOC
1. Chapter 1: Which Witch

Hi guys!

Damn, it's been forever since I actually published anything. But since enough of people I know have nagged me to post this, I decided to give it another shot. It's nice to get back into this series anyways.

Three notes before I get on, though. 1: I love criticism, but please try to make it constructive. I can't fix what you don't like or become a better writer if I don't know whats wrong. 2: This is a long developing story. It'll take a bit of time, and is a little drawn out. I promise that there's a reason for it though. The inspiration for this story was in something that I didn't notice in our two main humans of Yu Yu, and I wanted to explore what might've happened in someone else. I am going to make chapter a little longer after this, however, just because I know this is on the longer side of stories. 3: There's going to be adult content here. Not so much in terms of sex, though that may come depending on how I feel about it. Mostly it's a lot of swearing and dealing with difficult topics.

Also, disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. It'd be cool if I did, but I don't. I own Finley, any characters you don't recognize, and the plot. That's it.

* * *

I figured that Japan would be safe. I figured that I would get bothered a little less, because they wouldn't know I was there. If I had known how wrong I was, I never would have come.

My grandparents had built a home on the outer edges of Sarayashiki in the late 80s. It was a nice little cottage style home, with a built in conservatory and sun room. I had visited when I was younger, and had turned it into my home when I was 22. My grandparents were from Scotland, and had moved to Sarayashiki to be closer to an old family friend. I had learned Japanese, albeit poorly, since I was young. I wasn't great at it, as English, French and Gaelic were more prominent in my family, but I could get by with the Japanese I knew.

At 22, I had graduated from university, and I moved to Japan to live in my grandparents old house. I needed to get away. Everything that I had back home was kind of at risk because of how I was born. It wasn't like I had anything left in Canada to hold on to.

All the women in my family were witches. I was, my grandma was. My grandma had a boy, so my mother wasn't, but I had gotten the magic. And it made demons hate us.

Apparently for years, witches had killed demons. They'd hunted them for fun. And the demons hadn't exactly been understanding. As far as they were concerned, we were bitches that somehow stole their powers. We didn't. At least, I'm like 90% sure we didn't. Anything I knew could be lies at this point. Nothing was beyond my realm of belief.

All I know is that I don't use demons in my magic. It's too risky. I already had them chasing me all over Canada trying to murder me; I wasn't about to piss them off even more.

Turns out Japan had even more demons.

Living in Japan was nice for the first little bit. No one attacked me and everything looked like it was going well. I grew plants, I sold some tarot readings and spells online and I worked part time in a little shop that sold crystals, herbs and other magical crap to the masses. It was a good life. I had a great life starting for me.

All of that was taken away when the first demon came.

I had my home warded, and was used to them keeping everything out. It worked, for the most part, in Canada; and I figured that there wasn't anything here that would be able to break through them.

When a ward was shattered, it was like a ripple of energy that the witch who created it could feel. And with wards like my grandmothers, that I kept charged and ready, it was less of a ripple and more of an earthquake. I froze, heart pounding in my chest.

I hadn't known that demons existed here. I hadn't wanted them too.

But the universe decided to say "Fuck her. Fuck that one in particular."

* * *

I was alone in my kitchen, as I usually was. Just cooking up some good old fire salt on my stove. Heating it tended to seal in the fiery energy that you wanted for the more volatile spells and curses. I had already finished the war water and that Shadow water that I needed, so this was last on my list of replenishment.

It was going pretty well when I felt shockwaves ripple through me. Someone had broken my wards. I froze, staring into space. Nothing ever broke through my wards. I made sure that they were extremely strong, and nothing ever got through them. Which meant something bigger than anything I'd ever met was coming right for me.

Fuck.

I quickly stuck my shoes on my feet, grabbing a bottle of black salt, my newly made war water and a lighter. Easy protective magic, but that war water was more important.

I walked out carefully, stretching out my energy to try and find it. I walked carefully towards the energy, hoping and praying they had just found a little weak spot in my wards. Hoping it was something that I could just scare off with a little War water spell and not something that I'd have to be scared of.

Instead, it was a massive blue-skinned demon that I wanted to run far, far away from. He looked like a fucking Machamp brought to life and unless he was moving my furniture, he didn't need to be inside my wards. Two sets of arms, a pair of horns. Everything was just insane about that thing. I've seen typical demons. Your water demons, your fire apparitions, ice demons. All very weak and very easy to scare. Freeze the area out for a water demon. Flood for fire, heat for ice. Easy.

I had no idea how to deal with this thing.

It sniffed carefully, looking around. I was pressed up against the back of my gate, hoping that he couldn't see me. I didn't even breathe. Everything was frozen in that moment.

"I smell a witch….." I shivered. His voice made it feel like slime was just dumped over me. Cold and creepy. I was terrified. This didn't happen to me. I was terrified I was going to die.

"Gods of war, hear my words. Bring the pain of wars long past, give me strength to win this battle, and ensure that war will not last." I muttered softly, focusing my energy into the bottle. Then I whipped it at the demon. The spell was made to burn and give the target pain. A lot of pain. It was more of a way to get them to stay the fuck away from me. To scare them off.

This guy just roared, flailing around and scratching at his skin. His eyes caught mine and he charged at me. A meaty hand wrapped itself around my throat, staring at me. Waves of disgusting, rotting breath hit me in the face.

"A little witch with no power, eh? Best to just eat you and leave you as it is." My lungs gasped for breath. A burning filled my chest. I struggled, trying to focus that burning on to him.

"I-ifrin." A brief look of confusion crossed his face before he felt the flames. Horrible screams tore from his throat as he tried to put himself out. With a thump I landed on the ground, throat burning and gulping down air. I couldn't do magic like that very often, but I could pull out some serious stuff every little bit. Like lighting an entire demon on fire and roasting him. Not the best way to go, at least in terms of energy conservation, but I panicked. I had a thing against killing in any form. I didn't even kill flies.

What I had just done was going to fuck me over in every conceivable way.

Immediately after, I stumbled inside and and collapsed on my entryway floor. Magic like that was exhausting. After a long nap, I had to make sure everything was ready to make my wards even stronger. Not a single thing was going to get through again. Biggest problem was making sure that everyone who came close to me meant no harm whatsoever. I didn't want to get hurt. I just wanted to be left alone.

* * *

Two weeks later I found out what killing that one demon meant for me.

I was watching Netflix, twiddling with the ends of my hair and wrapped in a scarf. It was a lazy day. I mean, I didn't have to do witchy shit every day. It's tiring. I did what I had to do, no more. The only magic I'd done in those two weeks was a bruise balm, but the hand prints on my shoulders and throat had only faded to a dull purple and yellow. Though anything was better than the angry black that they had been.

The doorbell at my front gate rang. I sighed. Hopefully it wasn't the two things I least wanted to ring my doorbell. Jehovah's witnesses and salesmen. Two things I, as an atheist witch, didn't want to deal with.

I went out to my gate, which was kept locked at all times. My grandparents had driven that into me. Sure, not many demons would be deterred by locks, but locking a gate was a way to strengthen wards. It was the easiest way to make sure that your wards were kept charged and strong. Always checking the locks helped any paranoia after the incident anyways.

The people at my gate were pretty…. Generic, to say the least. Average height, average looks, black combed hair and dark eyes. Generic. I stared at them from behind my gate. They wore dark suits, and one held an envelope. Maybe they were going to quote Exodus 22:18.

"Um, hello," I said cautiously. "May I help you?"

"Finley Conneigan?" one asked. Holy shit even his voice was generic. It was Stormtrooper levels of basic. I nodded , crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back from the gate. "You've been causing a lot of trouble recently."

My head tilted in confusion. "I'm sorry? I don't know what you mean. I don't do anything except work and watch Netflix."

"Our employers have found out about the member of our kind that you killed two weeks ago." I froze. They were demons? No way, they were so weak I couldn't even feel them. "They have decided that you will take place in the Dark Tournament 6 months from now."

"They have, have they?" I growled. "And who exactly are 'They'?"

The envelope was shoved through the bars of my gate. "This contains all the information you will need, along with the location and names of your teammates. We were urged to reassure you that if you do not participate, you will be hunted down and disposed of." I snatched the envelope from his hand, glaring at the two men. I didn't know what was going to happen at that point. Were they going to say anything else? Were they going to try to kill me? Because obviously that was their end game here.

"We look forward to your participation, Miss Conneigan." The two walked down the street. Together they looked like regular business men. Unassuming. Boring. Generic. And yet they'd given me an ultimatum that affected my entire life.

I was fucked.

* * *

Well, there we go. I will try to update around once or twice a week, but I am in University. Things may get hectic, but the goal is at least once a week.

Thanks for reading, and if you liked it or have any comments, please leave a review. :)


	2. Chapter 2: Pity Party

Hey guys!

I can't thank you guys enough for how well this has been received so far. I honestly didn't expect any reviews or followers until the third chapter or so. So, thanks to ExtraCaramel, Koory, backoff22, ThexyMallory and windwolf1988 for following, and KiraKelsay for favouriting. I lit up like a Christmas tree when I saw that you guys were liking the story.

Guest 333: Thank you so much, I'm glad you like it!

ThexyMallory: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're interested. I hope these chapters are coming fast enough.

This chapter is significantly longer than the first, by the way. This is probably going to be about the average length for my chapters for now. If you like this length or want them a bit longer, feel free to let me know. I just don't think I'll be making them shorter than this for progression's sake.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, any characters you don't recognize, and the plot.

* * *

The file had been tormenting me. I'd threw it on my table the second I'd gotten inside, and I hadn't looked at it. Some part of me felt like the longer I put off looking through the damn thing, the longer I could pretend that it wasn't happening. That none of this was real. Looking at that file meant that my life was never going to be the same and I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

Ice cracked as I poured the hot tea over it. It was a special relaxation blend that I made. It wasn't something I made often, as it was pretty strong, but it worked. It did what I needed. Magic wasn't always the answer, but in this case I was pretty sure there was an anxiety attack in the making. Even just staring at the pristine manila folder sitting on my worn table made my skin crawl. Inside that one ugly piece of parer were the items that could change my entire life. The things that, no matter what I wanted, _were_ going to change everything. With a deep breath and a hard swallow, I sat at the table and flipped open the file.

Going through the file shocked me in the worst ways. The tournament was literally a series of death matches. A shitton of teams competed to the death to get one wish for each teammate. So by the end whatever team won was probably going to have some end goal. Mine was to survive this nightmare, to get out alive.

And I had a feeling that once they realized there was a witch in the competition, their wish could be to kill me if I even survived.

No matter what, I had to win. I had to... kill and some way, some how, I had to survive. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to, but I had to at least try. Taking this lying down wasn't an option. It was do or die here, if there was one thing I'd learned in my short life, it was that I was going to go out on my own terms. My parents had been taken to early, but I wanted to die as my grandparents did. Hand in hand with someone I loved, when I was old enough that my body finally gave out.

I looked over the pages detailing my teammates. It was nice of them to at least tell me who I was working with, I guess. Though I couldn't guarantee that the very people I was supposed to survive with weren't going to kill me on sight. Demons hate witches. I wasn't sure they were going to see my abilities as an asset and not a threat.

The first member of my team was a rokurokubi. Looked human, but had the ability to stretch their necks to unnatural lengths. No real threat, as far as I could tell, but apparently he was kind of like a snake in the way he liked to devour his victims. Swallowing them whole. His name, unimaginatively, was Kuro. I'm sure his parents thought it would be fitting. If anything he reminded me of a horror game that I'd played a few years back. The Crooked Man. Even knowing that he was an old Japanese type of demon that I'd been told stories about, the game stayed in my mind.

The second was a massive demon, Shoku, who looked rather like the one I'd killed, minus the extra set of arms and horns. If anything, he looked like he was coated in rocks. It was impressive how purely massive he was. He came in at 8 foot 5, and weighed about 400 pounds. I'm guessing part of that was the rock. It didn't list his species, but it did say that he primarily relied on his strength. Not a bad fit.

The third was essentially a vampire. With purple skin, massive bat wings, and a lust for human flesh, he pretty much fit the bill. He was pretty much everything I wanted to avoid. The file said he was a bat demon. He had the typical bat skill set. Echolocation, flying, agility. He was also able to create a type of poison that he could secrete from his saliva. Brilliant. I had to stay far, far away from him. Dracula was one of my favourite novels, but he looked like a bad Van Helsing extra.

The last member of my team was a fellow immigrant, at least from what I could tell. His name was Damon Eaton. A funny name for a demon, to be honest. None of the others had last was a cambion, the offspring of a human and an incubus. Looks like he had to feed on sexual energy to get his strength, but he was strong, and had some pretty intense energy attacks. Objectively speaking, he was pretty fucking sexy. Probably to help him feed.

Odd, however, that there were only 5 of us. The rules clearly stated that we were allowed an alternate. Could they not have found some poor sap that also fucked up the demon world somehow and given us him? Or her? Also, why the fuck was I the only girl?

I sighed, tossing the papers down on. This was going to end very, very badly. I wasn't proficient enough in my magic to keep doing big physical like I had done with that one demon. It would kill me. I would have to practice every day until I had to go. Even then, magic wasn't something that could be done lightly. Everything had some sort of consequence, it was just as bad as using spirit energy. I would have to take that as it came.

A work out regime was the other thing I would have to work on. I was already fairly fit, but no where near strong enough to defend against demons with only that. I relied on magic to do that for me. But as my grandmother said, "Strong body, strong mind, strong magic." Meditation and hard physical work would have to do to keep me going for now.

* * *

Two weeks from then, I was taken by surprise once again. If only the surprises would stop. That would be brilliant.

The darkness that I meditated in encompassed my entire home. If you stepped inside, it would be filled with pitch black darkness except for the one candle that I let burn in front of me. Witches like myself typically felt a strong connection to the elements, with one being more present that the others. My grandmother's was earth. Mine was fire. For some reason, fire was the comfort, the warmth. It made me feel safe even though it was just as destructive as any of the others, and considered the most dangerous by the masses.

In truth, every time I sat in front of my small candle, I felt focused and safe. The darkness with one small spark that I myself kept lit was the place in my world where I felt the safest. The only place I felt truly safe with what was to come. And that was all I could really ask for in the middle of this nightmare.

One little place where I felt safe.

An abrupt knock on my front door shook me out of my trance. Light entered my vision, too bright for someone that had been sitting the blackness for three hours. The small candle extinguished itself, and the lights in my home flickered back to life.

I pulled the sleeves of my loose black turtleneck down over my hands, standing up. My footsteps were quiet on my wooden floor. Somehow, someone had gotten over my gate. But more importantly, they had gotten through my wards. That meant they didn't mean me any harm, but they had been determined enough to climb over my 6 foot tall, solid rock walls.

I answered the door hesitantly. There was a definite spirit energy there. I couldn't tell if it was human or demon, however. That, I didn't like. I could normally at least tell what species they were. This person was strong, but what were they?

I looked through the peephole. A boy with shaggy brown hair, bright blue eyes and a youthful smirk was standing there. He was dressed decently, just a longsleeve shirt and jeans. In his hand was a duffle bag.

"Oh, come on, Finley," he said jovially. "I can feel you standing behind the door. You know those wards would have kept me out if I wanted to hurt you."

I recognized him from the Dark Tournament files. Damon. "What are you doing here?" I demanded through the door.

"Well, we're the poor saps on our team that everyone wants to kill. And I figured that you probably had no idea how to train for something like this. So here I am to help. Can't have a witch dying, you guys are useful."

I opened the door cautiously. "You're here to help?" He nodded. "And why should I trust you?"

"You've killed one demon. I've killed thousands. I know what I'm doing. That's why I'm in this tournament. I pissed off enough powerful people. I don't want to die, Finley. So, I want the witch on board and ready to go. The other guys on our team can do some work, sure, but you're the one with enough potential to pull a Urameshi. We need a Urameshi." I chose not to question his odd statement. It sounded like it may have been a sports reference, and that was something I wouldn't understand.

I stepped aside, letting him enter the house. Damon sauntered in, dropping his bag by the wall. He looked around, judging like he was on some home improvement show.

"Nice place ya got here, Fin. Have to say, I'm pretty much in love with the whole cottage style home. Very true to the whole witchy aesthetic you've got going on."

"Um… thanks."

Damon shot me a shit eating grin. "No problem. So, how have you been fairing with training and shit? You don't look strong, but that's never really the right way to judge a person, you know? Energy is a better judge."

I sighed, walking towards my kitchen. "Not wrong there. Want some tea or something?"

"I'll take a Coke if you've got any," he said, flopping into one of my worn dining chairs. Feet thunked onto the hard wood. I glared at him, holding two mugs in my hand. One was about ready to be thrown at him. Blue eyes looked down and feet returned to the ground. Satisfied, I went back to making the tea and pouring Damon a mug of Coke.

"What exactly does my energy tell you?" I asked.

Damon shrugged, taking the cup I offered him. "That you're really strong when you want to be. I've heard magic is more precise than everyone seems to think. Takes more out of the witch for bigger shit."

I nodded. "My grandmother was able to do lots of big shit, but she trained for years. I didn't. I can do one big thing a week, and even then, I don't. It can be really dangerous. For myself and others. People don't think my magic is real. I already have demons after my ass, I don't need humans joining in too."

"Fair enough." He sighed, leaning back in the chair. "I mean, I'm in this because I killed a bunch of demons and pissed people off. You, you're just here because you were born and moved to the wrong place."

I sat across from him with my little mug of tea. "Yeah, I only killed one guy. And it's because I had his hand wrapped around my throat. It was him or me, honestly and I didn't want it to be me."

"You'd think that would be something they'd understand."

"No kidding."

"Well, let's talk battle strategy, babe," he said with a grin. "Only you can teach yourself to do the magic stuff, but I have body and energy training pretty down pat. So we can definitely get you tournament ready in 6 months."

I rolled my eyes. "Sensing one problem. I'm a pacifist, dude. I barely hurt anything. I don't even eat meat very often. I'm like fucking Glinda over here. I'm not good with violence." There was no need to tell him about the persisting nightmares of the first demon.

"Yeah, well you're not getting a choice. I can give you the skills, but your mindset won't change until you're in the ring. We can make the bad bitch attitude, or façade, now. But you're gonna have to change once you realize the gravity of the situation, Fin. It's not the best way, but it's the only one that's gonna work for you."

"I like how you already have a nickname for me," I muttered.

"Yeah, we're already best friends," he joked. "We're bros now, you're stuck with me."

I guess this wasn't the worst situation. I had someone who actually wanted me to survive this. Well, besides me. I wasn't alone for the first time since I'd found out about this stupid tournament, I wanted nothing to do with it.

If only that was an option.

* * *

I regretted a lot of things in my life. Training with Damon was one of them. Well, it was at the time. The man was a slave driver. There was hardly a minute of the day that I wasn't working in some way. It was constant fighting, sparring, energy work, and magic. When I did sleep, I slept like the dead. When I did eat, it was mostly carbs and protein. I appreciated his helpful efforts, but at the same time beating his head in seemed like a reasonable idea.

My back slammed into the ground, a little crater forming around me. A metallic taste filled my mouth. I took the hand that entered my vision. Damon pulled me up, grinning. I glared at him, wiping the sweat off my forehead. This was the 5th time he'd kicked my ass. I wasn't getting any better, besides minimal increases in speed.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Stop glaring at me. You're doing well. We can take a break but we have to keep going."

"I'm not getting better," I snapped. "I just keep getting my ass handed to me."

"Yeah. Cause that's what happens. You're not always going to win," he hissed back. "We won't let you die, but accept that you can't always win." We stayed like that, glaring at each other, for a few moments. I gave up first, rolling my eyes and breaking out into a run back home. After a few moments I could feel him following me. Another perk I'd developed. I could sense people a lot better that I previously could.

I started cooking supper, attempting to cook in some tension relieving magic. I liked Damon. I really did. But fuck if I didn't want to beat him at least once. A good warm stew would have to do. If there was one thing my dearest grandmother always said, among the many pieces of old-timey wisdom I constantly had shoved down my throat, was "stew can always fix a broken home." Though I wasn't sure Damon and I counted as a broken home, it was worth a damn shot.

A random thought popped into my mind as my idiot roommate walked into the room. "Hey, Damon, should I get clothes to fight in?"

Blue eyes looked me over. "Probably. I mean, we need something they won't be able to grab too easily. It's a good thing you're hair isn't too long either. Tie it up and you should be ok. We can go pick you up some decent clothes, if you want?" I nodded. "Sick. I love shopping. Got a lot of money saved up to spend, might as well dress you properly."

"Um, I'm gonna ask the obvious question, but how?"

"Hm?" Damon sighed in realization. "Oh, money. Makes sense. I did a lot of odd jobs. Killing demons for revenge is all well and good, but let's be real. Half of it was done as a mercenary. Got paid pretty well. I have a nice penthouse in the city." that caught my attention.

"Then why aren't you living there?" I demanded.

He shot me a shit eating grin. "Um, I like you, and also you're a free source of energy for me. I miss living with a girl who's as sexual as you. You have sex dreams almost every night, it works for me. I don't even have to influence them."

I stared at him in shock. "I have sex dreams and I don't remember it?"

Damon nodded. "Yeah, you have some really good ones, not gonna lie. Seriously Fin, we have to get you laid when the tournament is over. You're not dying a virgin with all those kinky fantasies of yours."

My eye shot wide. "Excuse me, what?"

"My personal favourite is you getting fucked up against an full floor-to-ceiling window in a penthouse. That one is fantastic. It's brilliant."

I stared at him in horror. "Dude!" A dish towel was thrown at him. My face was burning.

"What?" he chuckled. "You, my dear, will have an amazing sex life when you actually start one."

"Dude… just…" I stammered, trying to form thoughts coherently. "Look, if I have them again, don't tell me. Feed off them, whatever. I just don't want to know what they are if I'm not remembering them." I really didn't need to think about Damon getting into my head. Or talking about some imaginary sex life I had in my dreams. It was awkward enough living with a guy I'd known less than a month.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Seriously though, if you ever get a boyfriend that's a demon or a psychic or something, I'm totally telling them. Cause you deserve it."

"I hate you."

* * *

We ended up collecting a fair amount of fighting clothes over the next two months. A collection of high-necked sports bras and highwaisted leggings. We figured it was better to have tight things that couldn't be grabbed to toss me around. Plus my boobs wouldn't hurt too much if I jumped. All the working out had caused me to lose some weight, but primarily my body was still the same. We'd focused on strength and endurance, and while that did move towards some weight loss, the main goal was to gain muscle, not lose fat. Either way, by boobs still hurt if I tried to run downstairs.

Another perk of the high-necked bras was that I could easily hide a protection amulet under it without getting it ripped off. Granted, it was just a precaution, but it was a necessary one nonetheless. I had a few good amulets and I wasn't about to forgo them just because it was cliché. It was better to have some added mojo. I was going to make them for everyone on the team. I didn't need anyone dying in the early rounds. Preferably not at all.

My magic had gotten much stronger. I was up to one or two big displays of power a day if I was lucky. Granted, I still had to do smaller magic throughout the day to make sure I kept my energy up, but I could do it.

Without my blue-eyed best friend, however, this wouldn't have been possible. I was much stronger than the average bear now; capable of hitting Damon across the small field that was about three miles from my home; which he said was the general size of the ring, if not more. I could hit pretty fucking hard and fight decently. I'd made leaps and bounds with my strength. But with my attitude, not so much.

I still apologized for hurting Damon in any way. And he and I both knew that I wasn't going to be able to kill anyone. Damon figured that I would get over it the second I got in the ring. I wasn't so sure.

My mind might be reasonable, but my heart wasn't. I didn't want to kill anyone, even thought I knew that I was most likely going to.

It was a month before the tournament that Damon dropped another bomb on me.

"The rest of them are coming here, Finley."

I dropped the glass I was cleaning, listening to it smash into a thousand pieces on the ground. "Excuse me?"

"The rest of our teammates. Apparently, you live the closest to where we have to get on the boat, and as a result, they wanted to come and meet each other and you before we have to fight together. Some of the fights might be two on two, so it's good that we try to fight together a few times beforehand." I stared at him, eyebrow twitching. "Ok, I respect that you're angry, but please don't hex my cock off, I need that."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME!" I screamed. The buzzer rang, alerting us to people at my gate. I rounded on Damon, seeing red. "Is that them?"

The brunet gave me a sheepish smile. "Probably. At least one of them. I love you, please don't kill me."

"Go let them in," I growled. "I'm going to make tea. And so help me god, if you don't lock my gate behind you I'm going to lose my fucking temper."

Damon scoffed, walking towards the door. "Yes, god forbid. Because a witch losing her temper is so spooky." I pointed at his ass, imagining a bolt of lightning. He yelped as a bit electricity shot up his spine. "Asshole."

"Go." I turned, setting a kettle on the stove and grabbing a few boxes of tea. At least people could choose what kind they wanted. Maybe they'd be less likely to kill me. People liked tea. And the smell of the tea I was making for myself may or may not have been magical. Ok, it totally was. It was to make sure that I was going to be safe and to make my home a happy and relaxing space. During one of our fights Damon had blown out my sink and I'd shattered 3 windows. I could only imagine what adding four more unhappy demons to this mix could do my my grandparent's home.

I could feel the energy of the guys coming towards my house. I mentally counted my chairs. Enough for all of them, but I would have to stand. I was ok with that. Keep me on my feet, and make sure I was taking deep breaths. Don't pass out, don't hyperventilate. Everything will be ok.

"And this is the house. Finley! We're all here now!" Damon called. "Still in the kitchen?"

"Yup!" I called, listening to the kettle whistle. A little bit of extra magic to make it boil faster. Thank god for basic energy manipulation.

The group of demons came in, even more terrifying than I had imagined them. The first was Kuro, a smaller guy, only standing at about 5 foot 6. He nodded at me, taking a seat. Next was the bat dude, Takuma. He rolled his eyes, ignoring me and sitting as far away from Kuro as possible. Shoku walked in, ducking under the doorframe. He smiled at me, nodding politely. Well, at least one of them seemed like he wouldn't kill me.

Damon was last, grinning like a Cheshire. "Well, Fin, this is the crew. Everyone, this is Finley."

"I assumed we were to be fighting alongside a male. They didn't provide a picture," Takuma hissed. "To think, a small woman is the source of all this trouble." The word woman was spat like it was a curse.

"Male witches are rare," Kuro snapped. His voice was weird; I couldn't place what it reminded me of. Kind of like someone was dragging you through tar? Felt about right. "I expected it to be female, I don't see why you didn't." I frowned. Nice to refer to me as an it.

"Because women are weak."

That pushed the wrong button. "Excuse you. Listen here, asshole, we're on the same team, so pull that presumptuous head out of your ass and get over it. I'm just as strong and capable as you." That as a lie, but he didn't need to know that yet.

"Doubtful," he hissed. I already knew Takuma was going to be on my bad side.

Shoku looked at me expectantly. "I for one, am excited. Witches haven't been prevalent in the Makai's sphere for years; this will be entertaining. Also, might I have some tea?" I was startled my his polite demeanor and his low, rumbly voice. I looked at Damon, then back to Shoku.

"O-of course. What kind would you like?" I asked, slightly stunned.

"Do you have chamomile?" I nodded, adding a spoonful to a strainer and pouring the hot water over it. Once I set the cup in front of him, he took two sugar cubes from the bowl on my table and stirred it in. "Thank you. Chamomile is so relaxing."

I smiled at him, then looked around. "Tea for anyone else?"

"I'm good." Takuma's curt tone made me twitch. What a fucking prick.

"I'll take black, if you have it," Kuro said. I quickly made his tea, and what I knew Damon would want. He'd discovered that I had a blend that tasted like a rootbeer float and refused to drink anything else. I took a sip of my protective tea once everyone was fairly settled. The thick silence was nearly suffocating.

Until Damon and his stupid ass broke it. "So, let's get to know each other a little better. We all pissed off some powerful people to be in this mess, so let's share that, shall we?" My eyes snapped to him in horror. That fucking asshole. "I am a mercenary, technically. My mother was human, dad was an incubus. Demons killed my mom, I got revenge for a few years. Now I'm here. Who's next?"

"I settled down in the human world, with my wife," Shoku said. "She and I have a beautiful little girl. I worked security for a powerful man, one who has a hand in running the Dark Tournament. When I discovered the horrible things that man was doing to both humans and demons, I backed out, moving my family across the world. They still found them. I have to compete here or they'll kill my family." Everyone was silent for a few moments. That explains the gentle nature. He was just a dude fighting to save his family. My heart broke for him.

Kuro was next. "I just fucked up. I let a bunch of humans find out about us. They thought I was just a nightmare, but that wasn't the case. I'm considered a flight risk. Fight and learn or die."

"I like to feed and leave my victims alive," Takuma muttered. "That's all I'm in for."

I scoffed. "Explains Twilight, doesn't it?" Purple hands slammed onto my table. A chair screeched back.

"I INSPIRED DRACULA!" I burst out laughing at that. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?"

"Dude, when I get a birth certificate that says 'Vlad the Impaler', I'll believe you. I promise. Until then, I'm going to expect you to sparkle in the sunlight." Damon snorted. The others chuckled. Takuma hissed at me.

"I'll kill you," He growled.

"Nah, you won't," I said, smiling. "You can't. You're on my property. My wards don't allow any malicious attacks within them, so you're shit out of luck. Nothing bad gets in, period." Not anymore, at least.

Takuma shoved away from my table, storming out of my house. I sighed. This was going to be one hell of a tournament.

* * *

There's another one done. I hope everyone is liking the way I'm going so far. Also, feel free to tell me what you think of Fin's teammates. The more I write them, the more attached to them I get. I already love Fin like no other, but the others are still close to my heart.

Thanks for reading, and please feel free to review or comment. :)


	3. Chapter 3: Glory and Gore

Hey guy!

I'm so happy about the interest in this story. I keep getting new ideas for this story every day, and for once in my life I'm actually planning. I have never been someone who liked planning everything out, but this has actually made it a lot easier to plan out where I'm going with each chapter before I write it out. Plus it's helping me in school. So that's a good bonus too.

I wanted to say thank you to Xx-LukaGrimm-xX, Aelthya, Leahcar-Souctaichou, and Reality's Escape for following. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this so far, and I'm happy to annoy you with my update messages. :)

Aelthya: Thanks, I'm glad you're intrigued. It seems like that's a common opinion so far. :) One word though, it is actually set after the Three Kings Saga. If you don't mind I would love to know why you thought that, 'cause it's a interesting thought even though it wasn't my intention. I know setting things after is a super common trope, but it felt like Fin would be better fit in a post Three Kings world.

Reality's Escape: Thanks, I'm glad you're into this so far. :) I don't plan on abandoning this story. I'd like to think that I'm a better writer than I was when I was 15 (when my last story was published) and that I have good enough time management to keep it going. No matter what I'm too in love with Fin as a character to let her fade away.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, any characters you don't recognize (now her entire team) and the plot.

* * *

I got to know the team very well over the next few weeks leading up to the tournament. I was closest to the Damon and Shoku, easily. Shoku often told me I reminded him of his daughter, and would whip out pictures of her at a moment's notice. His reaction time with his daughter was impressive, if not terrifying. The amount that I saw that little girl and her mother were innumerable.

Everything that we did in those weeks was to make us stronger as a team, or so Damon claimed. It was a bunch of fighting and, in my case, hiding from Damon and his weird ass bonding. He would try and get us all to sit down and work out our issues. Namely Takuma's blatant distrust and hatred of me, and my refusal to deal with the consequences that I knew would come from the tournament.

Damon thought that group therapy was the best way to treat a phobia. I had a psych degree under my belt, and while without my master's I would never be licensed, I'd focused on the clinical aspect of it. The treatment for phobias that worked best was exposure. My exposure was just going to be a lot harsher. Denial was going to have to work until I didn't have a choice anymore.

* * *

We were shipped via boat to the tournament. Apparently we were to participate in the opening ceremonies, a first for the guest team. I guess they wanted to make sure everyone knew who the witch was. After all, I had just found out the team was going to be named after me. All the better to identify the witch and try to get rid of her. I wasn't going anonymous for long.

I sat against the wall in the center of the boat. It was where the captain was hiding out. Water freaked me out. As a child I'd had nightmare's of drowning, and being surrounded on all sides was suffocating. It was a huge part of the reason I left Canada. My other grandparents lived on PEI, and I couldn't handle small island life. It was my only option after Uni besides hiding out in Alberta.

Neither were attractive options, so I moved to Japan. Biggest. Fucking. Mistake.

Shoku walked up to me, sitting down. "I have always hated boats. The rocking always makes me seasick," he offered with a small smile.

All I had to offer him was a weak one. "Then by all means, send any puke in Takuma's direction." A heavy arm wrapped around my shoulders. I sunk into the demon's side, accepting the comfort.

"Finley, I can't offer you much here," he began. "But I do know one thing. You are strong. It will be difficult here, but we support you." We both looked over to Takuma and Kuro. "Well, Damon and I do. I can't speak for the other two."

I sighed, setting my chin on my knees. "I'm going to have to do this, aren't I?"

"Yes. But, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, 'It's the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.' Perhaps it is best here to know that the unknown is to be feared and also conquered." I nodded to myself with a smile.

"You know Harry Potter?" I asked. "You even quoted in English." Shoku looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"My wife loves the series. Been reading it since it came out. She was a school teacher before we met." His eyes teared up a bit. "Taught English here, for elementary students. She stopped when she become pregnant. Raising a child alone is no easy task, but a half-demon one is worse. I can't wait to be back with them."

"You really miss them, don't you?"

"Kimiko and Sayuri are the most important thing in my life," Shoku mused. "I'm doing this to keep them safe. If I lost them, I'd lose myself."

It was then that I realized how much was actually riding on this tournament. It still felt oddly surreal to me, like we were just playing a video game with high stakes. Like nothing could reasonably kill us. Even though I knew that if we lost, not only would we lose our lives, but we'd be killing a wife and child. Two people utterly innocent of anything. If Shoku was going to fight for his family, I was going to fight for all of them.

* * *

The opening ceremony was absolute bullshit. I knew that it was going to be some thing where we all got dressed up and went around looking all pretty before we all tried to kill each other, but I knew that it was going to be a real pain in the ass. It was all formal wear, which meant I had to wear a goddamn dress. Damon had insisted on the one that I got, and it was a beautiful dress, But it was one that didn't allow for much maneuverability. Paired with the heels he had also chosen, I was screwed. I hated walking in heels. It was a pain in the ass.

Lace was pretty, but it wasn't exactly how I wanted to be portrayed by a nightmare sect of demons. I had a nagging suspicion it was just Damon playing dress up.

We all got ready in the hotel room. Damon and I were sharing the private bedroom, and Shoku, Kuro and Takuma were sleeping in the main room.. Damon, like the perfectionist he was, was curling my hair into the perfect amount of messy waves. If I ever got married, he was officially the one in charge of my appearance.

"It's gonna be ok," my friend urged. "It'll be fine. We just go in, look pretty. Feel intimidating. That's all it's gonna take. Then we can just come back here and rest up for the match. Everything will be fine."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. "I'm not sure how much I believe you, Dae." Grey eyes stared back at me in the mirror. It killed me that I wasn't allowed to wear my glasses during the fight. At least I was allowed to keep my septum piercing in. Thank god for retainers.

"I know. But just walk like you own the world. Because in your mind you have to know that you're more powerful than they will ever be."

"No… I walk like I don't care who rules the world. Because the end result is always going to be the same. I'm going to die," I stated flatly. "The difference is I'm dying on my own terms. Not theirs."

Damon chuckled slightly, almost like he didn't know how to respond to that. "Whatever helps you, Fin. Just make sure they don't see that you're scared."

"I won't." I hoped.

* * *

Where they held the opening ceremony was… ornate to say the least. Excessive, if I was being perfectly honest. There was a massive ballroom, a large staircase for the contestants to come down, and a set of speakers playing classical music. Everything about it was so civilized. Things were so elegant, even though they were prefacing a series of death matches.

This must've been how it felt in the Capitol. Festivities and civil proceedings that were just utterly inappropriate for the situation that followed.

I stayed back, waiting for the announcer to tell us to come in. Damon peeked his head around the wall. "Hey, Fin, you see what I see?" I looked. His finger pointed towards the speakers, and a guy in a uniform who appeared to be using his phone to control it.

Shoku suddenly picked me up. "Up you go, Finley." He set me on his shoulder. I hated my feet being so far off the ground. Shoku was an easy 8 or 9 feet tall. I was 5 foot 1 and about 7 feet higher off the ground than I'd ever wanted to be. "Can't let you walk in those hell shoes. Much safer to stay up here." Thank god for Shoku. If it wasn't for him and Damon, I would be a shaking mess.

I laughed, setting my elbow on his head. "Alright. But if I fall, it's on you."

"And the guest team of this year's competition, TEAM CONNEIGAN!" the announcer yelled. The boys started walking, and my heart rate skyrocketed. Everyone was about to ID me right off the bat.

Though being carried in on Shoku's shoulder wasn't necessarily the statement I wanted to make. But walking down stairs in those heels was just a bad idea for me. I could barely walk straight on flat surfaces some days. God forbid I try to go downstairs in some 7 inch platforms while everyone had champagne in their hands. Not a good idea.

I looked out at the sea of demons below me. The all zeroed in on me the instant we came out. Sure, they all knew who the others were. But me, I was the one they wanted dead more than anything. As a witch, I was "stealing their powers" and I had to die for it. Even though I didn't do a damn thing. I just existed.

I started to hear people muttering about me. Most were judging the fact that I wasn't walking. I, however, was in heels, and they could all suck it. Better to look a little weak than to make a complete and utter fool of myself falling flat on my face.

At the foot of the stairs, I heard one of the demons mutter something. I'm sure that they thought because I was technically a human, I couldn't hear them. We made sure my senses were a hell of a lot better during training. Though it also could've had to do with my lack of glasses. After this I was going to need a stronger prescription, cause people in the crowd all looked like on big blur.

"Stupid witch bitch can't even walk herself. What a piece of shit. It'll be fun to kill her." I looked down at Shoku's head, briefly seeing red.

"Hey, wanna let me down?" Shoku held out his hand, letting me use it as a step to get to the ground from the height. Damon grabbed my hand, making sure I was steady on the last foot. Brief eye contact was all the confirmation I'd needed. He had told me that it was may be a good idea to make people know that I was stronger than I looked. I walked towards the demon who had spoken.

He wasn't that strong, that much I could tell. And ugly. He wasn't much taller than me. Only about 6 feet tall. Same height as Damon, give or take. Green skin, red eyes. Just a generic demon. He glared down at me.

"What do you want, witch?" he demanded.

I smiled up at him. One wave of my hand and some focus, and he was smashed against the wall. My energy levels dropped a bit and my vision started swimming, but it was worth it. I just wanted to make a statement. That statement was that I was probably a good person to fear. Even if they didn't realize it. Even if I was really terrified and I was pure bullshit.

"W-well, after that show of brutality," the announcer girl muttered. "Let's introduce the last team, the returning champs, Team Urameshi!" A grin spread over Damon's face.

He leaned down to me. "You got your iPod?" I nodded, handing it to him. "The speaker they're using to play the music might be on a bluetooth, I'm gonna see if I can... Oh hell yes."

" _Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside,_ " started to blare from the stereo. I stared at Damon in disbelief. That asshole decided to play fucking Eminem to the team that had been here before. The team that would probably kill us without a second thought.

"We're fucked," I deadpanned.

Damon had told me about the Rekai Tantei. They didn't seem too friendly from the stories. Champions of humans probably didn't like witches any more than the demons did. The four of them went after demons that committed crimes, and half of our team qualified for that. There was no guarantee that the two demons on their team wouldn't see us all as threats and just kill us when they had the chance. I couldn't promise that being human meant anything to them when I was just as dangerous as Kuro or Takuma, in theory.

And more importantly, I wasn't stupid. I knew how strong these guys were. They were likely to make it to the finals. It was even more likely that they would kill us.

The team however, wasn't what I expected. The guy in front, a younger guy, maybe a year older than I was, with black slicked-back hair and surprisingly laid back clothes considering the surroundings, burst out laughing at the song

"Man, I don't know who did that, but holy shit, I love them!" he bellowed, holding his stomach. I stared in shock. He was cool with it? Damon hadn't described them to be so young, but here they were. Just kids. Like Damon and I.

The others in the team were just as strange. One was clearly just human, though he had more Spirit energy than I could ever hope to have. He had a large orange pompadour, like the early stages of Ryu from Shaman king. He seemed pretty sweet, with a kind, if rambunctious energy. Odd, though, that the human was easily the largest of the group. His muscle and height made him look intimidating. It was the bright friendly eyes that gave him away.

The red haired one, who matched Damon's description of Kurama, the fox demon. He was creepy, truth be told. He seemed a lot calmer than the rest of his squad, but the underlying energy was deadly. Like a venus flytrap. Looked pretty until it ate you alive, but at least he was pretty. Damon had told me he was a really old and brilliant fox demon. He'd been a thief for years. Damon seemed to know the most about him, he was a living legend.

The last was shorter, about 5 foot 6. Still a good four or 5 inches taller than me. His spiked hair made him seem taller, and red eyes bit into you from across the room. He wore solid black, not formal in the slightest. A lose shirt and pants, just fighting clothes from what I could tell. His energy was warmer, yet volatile at the same time. It was amazing. And there was something else, just below the surface of his energy that made me shudder. It was almost like the energy of an entire other beast was under his skin. Easily, he was the one that kept your eyes on him. It wasn't that he was particularly handsome, though he absolutely would. All of them were attractive. Him... I didn't want to fight.

I shook my head slightly. I didn't want to fight any of them. There was a whole lot going on with these guys.

An elbow nudged my side. "They're cool, you know. They'll fight with honor. It's their whole thing. And I know you're freaking out about the two that are full demons. But they're not bad guys. They're incredibly strong, and I'm not sure we'll ever be able to beat them, but I doubt they'll kill us." I rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself. That didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to at least get through this unharmed. Well, alive.

Damon may have thought that they were cool, but he didn't know their stance on witches. That could be the difference between life and death for me.

The rest of the party passed relatively uneventfully. I'm guessing all the meetings and such had been held before we got there. After all, it wasn't like they expected us to win.

* * *

I'll admit to drinking a few too many glasses of champagne. I wasn't black out drunk, but I was glad that I had Damon to hold me steady. Otherwise I'd probably sprain my ankle walking in those hell heels. He got me back up to the hotel room safe and sound, however.

"Hey, Dae?" I asked, laying on the bed, still in the dress and full makeup.

"Yeah?"

The ceiling was blank and dull above me. It was almost suffocating. "We're not gonna die here, right?"

"Nah…. We'll be ok. We have your magic mojo, my innate sexuality and both our badassery. It's gotta be ok."

The voice coming back didn't sound too certain. And it was that uncertainty that kept me up. I stared at that blank ceiling until I felt the woozy effects of the alcohol fade away. Eventually, I sat up, unlacing my heels and tossing them to the side.

The harsh fluorescent lights of the bathroom showed off the tired eyes and pale skin that greeted me in the mirror every day. I stripped off the dress, turning on the shower. Damon wouldn't be up for a while, but I was going to be up for a while longer. I scrubbed the makeup off my face, standing under the water. The cold water was shut off completely. A burning sensation covered my body. It was comforting. I was trying to scrub myself clean. Everything I did here made me feel like I was dirty.

It was going to be worse in two days. The first fight was then, and we were one of the two teams to fight first. It wasn't going to be fun for me, and as the team leader, I fought last. I didn't want to fight at all.

After eventually drying myself off, I pulled on a massive white tee shirt with a pentagram and got to spellwork. Normally 3 am wasn't my peak spell time, but I was stressed. Being stressed was helped by magic. I had 5 little lockets that I was going to enchant with some pretty intense protection spells. They would guard against any injury serious enough to result in death. Warding off death wasn't really the best idea, but hey. Delay it until inevitable.

I worked on them until morning, Carefully, I made each one resonate with the unique energy of each of our teammates. Mostly because I could feel them from my spot on the floor of my room. The charms would only work for them, and it didn't count as cheating for the tournament. It was basically putting up an energy shield. And it wasn't like it was going to stop them from getting hit. It was to stop them from dying.

Damon woke up at about 9 am. If he was surprised to see me awake, he didn't show it. I was fucking tired, to be. Sleep, however, wasn't an option unless I wanted to be plagued with nightmares. I was already planning a dreamless sleep spell for that night, but I wasn't going to worry about it until then. Caffeine and loud music would have to do.

"Get dressed. We're gonna get food and go look at the arena." I looked up at Damon from my seat on the floor. I nodded, tossing him one of the charms I'd made. "What's this?"

"Protects you from death."

"Isn't that cheating?"

"It'll keep you from dying, not getting your ass kicked," I snapped.

Damon's hands went up. "Alright, sorry." A low chuckle came next. "I'll wear it. I'm pretty cool with it. Has it got some magical mojo besides that?"

"No one but you gets protection from it. I synced it to your energy. I did it for everyone," I muttered, pushing off the floor. I grabbed a black tank top, a pair of denim shorts and a massive flannel shirt. Tying my hair up into a half-assed messy ponytail, I stared at Damon. It was almost like the realization of the situation had come crashing down on me again. It kept coming in waves, some more catastrophic than others.

Damon stared at me. "You ok?" I nodded. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I noticed how pale I looked. There were heavy bags underneath my eyes. I looked like I hadn't slept in days. Which was essentially true. I had gotten less than three hours for almost a week strong. I looked like shit, but it would do. I made sure my makeup made me look more awake than I was, but it could only do so much.

"I don't look that bad," I defended.

"You look like shit, Fin."

I glared at him. "Thanks, asshole. Now we know why you're single."

"Hey, everyone is beautiful. But you, my dear, look like something the cat dragged in a 2 am after half-puking it up. Not at your best."

"Do I even want to know what my best is?"

Blue eyes looked me over. "Somewhere between Morticia and Taylor Momsen." I nodded, smiling at him. "Acceptable?"

"Generous." I shoved past him, holding the other 4 necklaces in my hand. "I'm giving these to the guys and then we can go."

The others accepted the necklaces graciously (except for Takuma, who was eternally pissed off about everything) and we all went to the arena. I was terrified of it. It was huge, with a large platform in the center where I expected the fights to be held. It was horrible. I figured it wasn place the last Dark Tournament was held, and it was still filled with death.

It gave me worse wiggins than graveyards.

Damon hopped up on the platform, smiling. "Well, isn't this just fabulous?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "You know, I can't tell if you're serious or not, but either way, fucking stop that. Don't be happy about our execution platform."

"Chill, Fin. It's just for shits and giggles. And we're not gonna die. We got your old Scottish magic mojo coming out your ass." He hopped down, and tapped his finger on my nose.

"My old Scottish magic mojo isn't gonna help your horny ass against anyone," I snapped. "All I can do is make sure you don't die. This magic shit doesn't keep you from getting put into a coma."

He shrugged at me. "Even then, it's not like you don't have more power than everyone else. It's just how you do use it." I rolled my eyes.

"You're an idiot. We have to make sure we're strong enough. End of story." I didn't have more power than anybody else. I had power, sure. Not a lot of it. I couldn't do huge things without damaging myself. I would be low energy for a long time. It's why I'd made small witch balls to help myself. I filled them full of energy and used them as backups when I got low. Even then, I was limited.

Takuma glared at me. "And you are not."

I shrugged. "I'm gonna have to be. It's not really an option at this point."

* * *

And there we go again. We have our first Reikai Tantei sighting in the wild for Fin. I always thought it would be fun to see the group from the perspective of someone who expects them to be a lot older than they really are, and who fears them more than she should. Editing this was a real pain, though, it just wouldn't go.

I hope you enjoyed it, and please feel free to leave any reviews and comment. :)


	4. Chapter 4: Broken Bones

Hey! Happy Valentine's Day!

Sorry for the late update, editing just didn't want to happen tonight. I'm still god-awful at fight scenes, but I feel like I'm improving bit by bit.

I'm so thrilled with the support this is getting. Even through the worst of my writers block I still have you guys helping me through, so thank you. I manage to power through because I want to keep sharing this with you guys. Thanks to mariamariana and helloMoRnInG for favouriting.

Xx-LukaGrimm-xX: I'm glad you like them. I have a lot of love for them, and believe it or not they all have backstories that will come out as we go along. Writing them is a lot of fun. I'm so happy they aren't boring and predictable. You're not the only one who will skip over OC's for canon characters when they're boring, I totally do it too. It's great to here that my little squad isn't like that. :) (also, it keeps deleting your user if I don't get rid of the period, so sorry about that)

Leahcar-Soutaichou: Right? Damon is easily one of my favourites to write. He's the kind of blatantly sexual, brutally honest, "I'm-the-fucking-best" guy that I kind of fall in love with, and I have a lot of plans for him as we carry on. I'm happy you like him, because he isn't going anywhere. :)

Also, would you guys be interested in a song for every chapter? I've kind of been doing it with the chapter titles, I know some might belong to more than one artist if you were to look them up. There typically is a song to go along with each chapter in my mind, or one that I listened to while writing it. If that's something you guys would want I'd be down to put it into this little opener each chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Damon and I eventually made our way back to the hotel, while the other guys decided to eat, drink and make merry where ever they could. Well, Takuma did. Shoku called his wife. Kuro went to do god knows what. I was more than content to order room service and watch some of my favourite movies before I had to face certain death. Well, almost certain death.

Outside the hotel, however, was a little kid. Probably lost, crying his eyes out. He couldn't have been more than 5, dressed in what appeared to be pajamas. Regular clothes weren't covered in little blue fish as far as I knew. I looked at Damon, who rolled his eyes. If he wasn't going to do anything, I certainly was. I walked up to the child, squatting down to his level. The child looked up at me with giant green eyes.

"Hey, bud," I said, smiling. "Where are your parents?" He sniffed, staring up at me.

"I…. I don't know!" he cried. "I turned around to see the puppy and Mommy was gone!" Shit.

I put a hand on his head, smiling down at him. "Hey, honey, it's ok. My friend and I are gonna stay right here with you and we'll wait for your mommy to come back, ok?" He nodded sadly, sniffing. "What's your name?"

"I'm Akira Minamino…" He muttered. "I live at number 5, block 23 in Sarayashiki." Obviously this kid knew what to do if he ever got lost.

"It's nice to meet you Akira. My name is Finley. This is my friend Damon. He's kind of grumpy, but I promise he's nice," I said, elbowing Damon. Damon glared at me, but Akira looked up at him with a watery smile. The child grabbed my hand, looking like he was trying not to bust into tears. We sat on a bench outside the hotel, where I gave Akira my iPod. When in doubt, turn on Disney.

I was not good with children, but bitches love Disney.

After about 20 minutes of waiting for some sort of parental figure, one appeared. A pretty brunette, dressed in a tee and jeans, looking at Akira with relief. I tapped on his shoulder and pointed at the woman. "Hey, Akira, is that your mommy?" He looked up. Once he registered her, his little eyes lit up. Akira sat my iPod on my lap and booked it over to her. So polite. I laughed a little. Damon just rolled his eyes.

"MOMMY!" Akira cheered, wrapping his arms around his mother's legs.

"Akira, baby, where have you been?" his mother demanded.

"I stopped to look at a doggy, and then you were gone. So I stayed right here. Then the nice lady with the hair like Auntie Botan and Auntie Yukina came and waited with me and she let me watch movies on her iPod!"

The woman looked at me, a warm smile on her face. "Did she now? Well, you better thank her Akira." He nodded. The two walked up to me. I stood offering my hand to the mom. I hoped she wasn't a demon that would kill me. Probably was, with my luck.

"Hi, I'm Finley," I introduced.

"Ame," She offered, taking my hand. "Thank you so much for watching him. We were so worried."

I just grinned. "No worries. I'm glad I found him instead of someone else." Ame nodded, agreeing with me. "Are you guys family of someone in the tournament?"

"Yes, my mate is on team Urameshi. Kurama," she explained. I could feel Damon freeze up next to me. He may have thought they were cool, but he wasn't stupid. We had criminals on our team, and there was no reason for them to leave us alive when affiliated with fucking Takuma. Not to mention kids made him mighty uncomfortable. "You're the witch, right?"

I nodded carefully. "Yeah…" Pity filled her warm brown eyes.

"I'm so sorry you ended up in this situation. Genkai's been saying that there's nothing to worry about with you,"Ame confessed. "We thought you'd be older, honestly. You're still so young."

"Genkai?" I asked. I'd heard that name before. Genkai was a friend of my grandparents, the one they'd wanted to move closer to. She'd introduced them. I'd never met her, but I knew my house wasn't too far from hers.

Damon cut in. "She's the best demon killer in history. Basically, the bogeyman for our kind."

"My grandma knew her," I explained my curiosity. "She introduced them. It's the reason I'm alive, honestly."

Ame smiled at me. "Well, she is on the island somewhere. I'm not really sure where she is, otherwise I'd introduce you two, but I know she'll be watching the fight tomorrow."

I smiled gratefully. "That's kinda awesome, not gonna lie." Something came to me. Mentioning Genkai had reminded me I was stressed, and the only person good at reassuring me was dead. Not that that had to stop me. "Hey... I gotta go. It was great meeting you guys, but I just remembered I have something I have to do." They waved as I darted back into the hotel, Damon right on my heels.

"Cool," Damon chirped, still uncomfortable. "I'll come with you." The idiot would rather help me with magic than stay near a kid? Figures.

"No, I have to do this alone. If you could get me either Canadian whiskey or Scotch from the bar though, that would be great." She wouldn't exactly appreciate a cambion sitting in on our conversation.

"Ok," he conceded. "Do I even want to know what you're doing?"

"Don't worry about it." I just ran up to the room. I had brought with me everything I typically needed for something like this. Cedar, yew, rosemary, tobacco, wormwood and whiskey. Plus a Ouija board that I'd inherited from Grandma. I'd always preferred round boards, and contrary to popular belief, nothing could possess one, and you couldn't summon a demon through one. Demons were concrete. Ghosts and spirits were not. Much easier to summon safely.

When I got back to the lobby, Damon was waiting with a bottle of Forty Creek. It wasn't Alberta Premium, but it would do.

I took it from him, sticking it in my bag.

"What stupid thing are you gonna do? You know magic isn't safe here," he chided.

I just rolled my eyes, glaring at him. "I figured out how to get on to the roof. I'm gonna summon my grandma and talk to her."

Damon didn't say anything after that. I'm guessing he didn't know what to say. That was fair, as he wasn't good with the whole family thing. He didn't have much experience, considering his mom had died. She'd been it for him.

* * *

I sat up on the roof, cross-legged and looking at the board. The board had been grandma's, so she had a better connection to it. In front of the board was a tiny cast-iron cauldron with the herbs burning in it, and a glad of whisky next to it. She had always preferred Alberta premium, or some weird homegrown Nova Scotian stuff, but considering she was dead, I felt like she'd take what I could get her.

Clearing my throat, I started to do the spell. Scottish always worked best for me, as it was the language I'd learned my magic in, and the language Grandma had spent that last bit of her life yelling at me in. So Scottish I spoke. "I ask for the presence of Irene Conneigan. Grandmother, if you are here, let me know." The planchette moved by itself to hello. I smiled. "As proof of your identity, what was the first spell you taught me when I began to learn?"

The planchette moved to the letters. HOUSE BLESSING.

"Awesome…. Hi, grandma," I greeted. "I think I fucked up."

NO WORSE THAN ME, the planchette spelled.

"I don't understand." I ran a hand through my hair. "I have to fight in this stupid fight-to-the-death thing. All because I did something that still gives me nightmares."

SELF DEFENSE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF FINLEY.

I sighed. "I know it's not. But you always taught me that violence was never the answer. I'm not gonna come out of this the same person I am now."

YOUR GRANDFATHER FOUGHT. HE BECAME THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH. IF YOU CHANGE IT WILL NOT BE FOR THE WORSE.

"Grandma…. I'm scared. I'm going to have to hurt people. I don't want to become that kind of person. And what do you mean Grandpa fought?"

HE WAS IN THIS TOURNAMENT. HE FOUGHT ALONGSIDE GENKAI. That took a minute to sink in. Grandpa had fought in the dark tournament. I had no idea. Probably because he didn't want me to, but still.

"Am I gonna be alright?" I asked. I knew I was just seeking comfort with this. She was dead, she couldn't tell me the future. That was only her thing in life, aided by tarot cards and tea leaves.

SPIRITS CANNOT TELL THE FUTURE. Before I could snap about how I knew that, the planchette moved again. I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH. PERHAPS YOU WILL NOT WIN BUT YOU WILL SURVIVE.

That sounded a lot better than it actually was. Not winning still meant dying. Dying wasn't what I wanted. It was either win or die from what I could tell. Surviving would be great. But that only came with victory.

"Thanks... Alright. I should go. I need to discuss strategy with Damon and try to get some sleep tonight. Goodbye, Grandma."

The planchette moved to goodbye, and I blew out the smoldering cauldron and took the shot of the whisky. Last honors when talking to the dead were only polite. She took the shot, metaphorically, when she came. I took it when she left.

* * *

I took the supplies back to my room, where Damon was watching TV. I put everything away in it's proper place, making sure to flip the planchette upside down when storing it. Nothing bad would happen, if I was honest, I just didn't want communication when I wasn't asking for it. Just an old superstition that Grandma had beat into me.

Damon looked me over. "You look a bit better, Fin."

"I don't feel much better…" I muttered honestly. "If anything I'm a little worse."

"What did she say?"

"Perhaps you will not win, but you will survive." He looked at me, shocked.

"We have to win or we don't survive. We will die in the finals, and if we don't they'll find a way to get rid of us after. We have to win."

I just nodded, looking down at my feet. "I know we do."

"We can. We just have to fight for it."

"I know." I just didn't like what that meant for me. I'd have to go and kill. Kill to keep myself alive. I didn't want to become the kind of person that was ok with that. I still had nightmares about killing the demon, even though his hand was around my throat. And I knew it wasn't the fear of death that kept me scared. It was the fear of how quickly I'd acted, how much damage I'd done in only a few seconds. How irreversible it was.

Like Dumbledore (and Shoku) had said, fearing death and darkness is only fearing the unknown, but that wasn't what scared me. What scared me was my own power and what I could do with it. All it took was a few words and a lot of my energy to end a life. Power was fine as long as you were responsible with it. The fact of the matter was that I hadn't been. I went over and over the first demon in my mind, trying to find some way that I could've gotten out alive and not killed him. It drove me crazy. I had nightmares about it. About what I felt I was becoming.

Damon couldn't really get my fears, and I never told him, at least not in words. I figured he always kind of knew. I wasn't very subtle, and considering the dreams I had there was no way he couldn't guess. After all, he typically turned my dreams to sex, rather than the nightmares I lived through almost every night. They'd been getting better, shorter, and had stopped waking me over the nights that I'd lived with Damon and had trained for the tournament.

But I could feel that what would happen here was only going to make them worse.

* * *

The next day, I got ready for the first match of the tournament. I wasn't sure what to expect, though Damon had heard of a few members of the team and was sure it wouldn't be too difficult to win. I still blessed the knives I used and drank some of my "calm-nerves" tea. It didn't really help, as the nerves were frayed as shit (we're getting to Mrs. Bennet levels of stress), but hopefully I would be able to work when it counts.

I didn't trust myself for this at all. If someone fucked this up for us, it was going to be me.

Tugging on the waistband of my leggings, I moved next to the guys. Any moment we were going to enter and be tossed into a fight for our lives. Damon looked me over, smiling.

"We're gonna be fine. It's only the first fight. Those assholes want to see us die in pain, so they'll let us at least pass the first round." How reassuring.

"You're a great motivational speaker, Dae," I deadpanned. "They should give you a poster line."

Shoku looked down at me, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Do not worry, Finely. Though this may be difficult, we will succeed."

It was easy for them to say. They all had experience with violence. I didn't. If I actually had to kill someone... I wasn't sure what would happen to me. I was hoping to avoid any more nightmares, but it didn't seem realistic at this point.

I was fucked no matter what.

We were called out in to the arena. Boos and curses greeted us, every demon in the crowd waiting to see us fight. Each one hoping we would die in some grisly way. In all honesty, that's exactly what we were likely to do. It's what I expected.

Everyone on the opposing team was rather lackluster, if I was being honest. The only one that stood out to me was the leader. He was tall, kind of human looking, but there was something off about him. I couldn't quite put my finger on what he was, but he was strong. And the way he was looking at me made me want to want to die. He looked at me like Kuro did.

It was like he wanted to eat me.

We stood next to the announcer. "Alright teams, decide the terms," she directed.

"One on one, best of 5." I stared at the leader of the other team. His voice was a lot deeper than I'd expected. It was deep and scratchy, like a guy who'd been smoking for 50 years.

"Sounds good to me," I stated. My voice sounded more confident than I really was.

"Teams have agreed on one on one matches, with the winner taking best of 5 matches!" the announcer girl cheered. "Let's get our first fighters into the arena!"

The first one to go up was Kuro. I wasn't sure how well that was going to go. Sure, the whole long-necked Rokurokubi thing was creepy, hell he was just a creepy guy, but I wasn't sure that anything was going to go well. What was he going to do, swallow his opponent whole?

Turns out that's exactly what his plan was.

I couldn't even watch. Kuro's neck stretched to obscene lengths and wrapped around his opponent. After that I had to look away. My head was buried in Damon's chest, but I could hear Kuro's opponent screaming for mercy, and then silence. That was a deafening silence.

There was a good reason to avoid Kuro if I ever needed one.

The announcer ladies voice came over the speakers again. "Well that was certainly fast. The match goes to Kuro, cause I really doubt Tokumo is clawing his way out of that stomach! Let's try to get a longer match this time, ok guys?" If was of the prizes was to punch that masochistic bitch, I wanted it.

Shoku was the next one up. The guy up against him was knocked out in seconds, he never stood a chance. He got one good hit and that was it. It was just Shoku punching the guy around like a ragdoll. I knew he was dead the second he stepped into the ring. Shoku wasn't about to let anyone keep him from getting to his wife and daughter again. I knew he would win.

I just didn't think it would be this easy.

Damon was up next. Apparently he knew the guy he was fighting.

"I've been looking forward to this," Damon said with a savage grin.

"As have I. Killing my biggest competition will look great on my resume," his opponent snarked. I guessed that they worked in the same circles. Damon was a mercenary; he had to have a lot of rivals. Or enemies.

He was a smartass, he probably had more enemies.

I was terrified that he was going to get hurt. If he stopped thinking, got too angry, he might end up hurting more than just the other guy. I didn't want Damon to get hurt. He was my only friend in this world.

If I lost Damon, I was alone.

I watched the match with bated breath. His opponent got one good hit on him first, sending Damon flying into the arena floor. I heard a sickening crack. I'd seen him break bones before, and I'd watched him heal them. But that crack still scared me. There was nothing he could do with such limited time. He didn't have time to heal. And that terrified me.

Shoku looked down at me, smiling warmly. I looked up at him fearfully. "Everything will be fine," Shoku soothed. "Have faith in your friend. Perhaps your innocence will be saved another round." I frowned, looking at the continued blows being exchanged in the ring. I heard another crack as Damon's fist collided with his opponents.

"You make it sound like I'm this little angel," I muttered.

"Compared to us," Shoku chuckled. "you are. Your soul is yet free from the violence of our world. If you manage to keep it for another two days I will be amazed."

I wrapped my arms around myself, frowning. "I'm not sure I'll even last that long…" I wished I wasn't wrong. But lord, when were my bad feelings ever wrong? Whenever I felt like something was going to go wrong, it was like Murphy's Law. If it could go wrong, it did. Everything was fucked up in a heartbeat.

The fight quickly turned into two extremely strong individuals firing balls of energy at each other. Each opponent was covered in cuts and bruises. Distance was just prolonging this, both of them knew it.

They ran at each other, each landing a fist on the other. They spiraled off the platform, each landing in a cloud of dust. Neither of them would be fit to fight after this. It was whoever got up first. His opponent pushed to his feet, wavering slightly before falling flat on his face. Damon dragged himself into the ring as the announcer hit 9 on her count.

Damon won the fight, though just barely. His right arm was dislocated, nose broken and he had several cuts along his looked far worse for wear.

Koto raised her hand, calling the match and announcing us the winner of round one.. The leader of the opposing team was not happy. He stormed into the middle of the arena, the air crackling around him.

This guy was terrifying. His hair was a storm grey, with electric yellow eyes that stared into my soul. The air around him was electrified. I was guessing that he was a storm demon or something equally scary. I loved storms but I never wanted one in humanoid form. I used them in my magic all the time, I was good with storms. Something told me whistling wasn't going to make him go away, nor was tying a few knots going to bind him.

"I want to fight the witch," he thundered.

Koto shuddered in fear, and so did I. "Kosuke-sama, the match is over. Their team won. I'm afraid it's against the rules to fight once a match is over."

"I WILL FIGHT THE WITCH!" I jumped at that. Kosuke was not going to let me leave that arena without fighting him. I was just praying that the committee was going to enforce their rules. THey'd forced us here, they could at least stay behind their own arbitrary rules. Damon had said they wanted me to at least make it past the first round, right? Surely they wouldn't allow this.

 _BING-BONG_ "The tournament committee had decided to allow the fight between Kosuke and Finley Conneigan. Team Conneigan will still advance to the next round regardless of the results." My heart skipped a beat. No. God, no.

All eyes turned to me. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Every step I took echoed in my head. The crowd's screaming was barely registering in my mind. I knew that there were repeated calls for my death and for Kosuke to rip me limb from limb. My heart had shot up into my throat. There was nothing that was going to prevent this.

Six months of training wasn't enough to get me through what I'd have to do. This guy wasn't going to leave me alive. One of us was going to die.

* * *

Well there we go. Finley is finally going into the fray. The real question is what this will do to her.

Also, Kurama fans, please don't lynch me. Ame and Akira exist for a reason, I promise. They aren't just one offs that will be mentioned, like, four times. They are consistently staying a part of this story.

I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to leave any comments and reviews. :)


	5. Chapter 5: Control

Hey guys!

I'm sorry about the late update. FF kept glitching as I was editing and it wouldn't keep my work. It took me way longer than I wanted it to.

Ok, I'm going to do this once. And it's important, so you all need to pay attention to it. If you aren't a person with any known triggers, you can skip it. But if there is anything at all that can be a trigger for you, I want you to read this.

*** This chapter may contain material that is sensitive to some readers. This includes gore, blood, violence, and descriptions of trauma.***

Dudes, this is going to be a common theme throughout the story, which is why I'm not going to do this again. I'm assuming people are reading this in order. If you can get through this chapter, you can probably get through the rest of this without issue, save a bit of heartbreak. When I said in the first chapter that I was experimenting with an idea that wasn't really touched on in YYH, this is what I meant. You'll understand more as you read, but I'm putting that warning there for those who may not be up to dealing with it. It's avoiding spoilers as much as I can while knowing that this is stuff that not everyone wants to be reading.

There is also going to be a small note at the end of this chapter that I would appreciate you reading if you have the time as well, but it's not as big a deal as this. And again, if you guys want music for the chapters let me know.

Aelthya: I'm glad you like them, I was worried they weren't going to be taken well. The idea that I'm working with here is a bit different from a lot that I've seen personally in the fandom and I'm glad it's intriguing people in a way they can't really explain. :) As for Fin, ooh boy, yeah. Yeah she is. It's interesting to hear her described as a down to earth character, to be honest. I tend to see her as very "in her own head" type of person as opposed to logical and pragmatic. Real people tend to be a mix of both though, so maybe that's why. I love seeing how you interpret my characters though, your reviews are a delight. :) PS, yeah, Damon's cute. He's like a hissy kitten.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

I stepped up onto the platform, silently praying for the committee to change their minds. Like that would happen. The voices of the crowd was nearly deafening. Just repeats of "Kill the Witch," "Kill that bitch" and "Rip her to shreds." Their creativity was lacking, but at least they were loud.

Kosuke glared down at me, arms folded. I wasn't tall, by any means. I was about 5 foot 1, and Kosuke was about 6 foot 7. That was not a promising difference. Maybe I was lucky and his size made him slow. I doubted I was lucky, but I could hope. There was always hope.

"It is time for the witch to die," Kosuke growled. His voice sounded like thunder growling across the plain. This guy would've given nightmares to several children I knew.

I looked Kosuke dead in the eyes. "Not today." I'm sure I came off more confident than I was. But I was shaking. Sooner or later I was going to die, I'd accepted that. Kosuke wasn't going to be the cause.

Koto started the match. Kosuke lunged for me. I barely dodged him. He growled, air crackling. I swallowed hard, staring at him. Now I knew how gazelles felt when faced with a lion.

Here's hoping he wasn't one to play with his food.

He lunged at me again. A punch landed on my jaw. I flew off the stage, pain surging through my face. My body slammed into the arena wall, the concrete spider-webbing in little cracks. The wind was knocked right out of me. I gasped, struggling for air. Everyone burst into cheers. I pushed off the wall, glaring at Kosuke. Thank god for Damon. Had he not trained me that shot would've put me out of commission for the rest of the month.

I jumped back into the ring, aiming for his knee. I got him, getting a sickening crack. He nailed my stomach, sending me back into the ground. I aimed a kick to his stomach, sending him a few feet away from me. I wasn't nearly as strong as he was, but I'd managed to get him hard enough that he was bent over, coughing up what looked like blood.

The metallic taste was in my mouth as well, but I didn't think anything had come up. Maybe I'd had a good shot to a major organ. Doubted I was that lucky, but blood was a good sign. Maybe I could just incapacitate him. All I needed was ten seconds. Ten seconds was still a lot of potential brain damage on his part. But ten seconds was all I'd need.

The static in the air got heavier. The few strands of hair that weren't included in my ponytail stood on end. A little ball of glowing light started to form in Kosuke's hands. Shit. I was right. I bolted, trying to dodge the bolt of lightening that was sent at me.

Blistering heat shot through my arm. A strangled scream came from my throat. The pain was insane. It felt like red hot iron sliding through my arm, with the fingers on my left arm twitching madly. I hadn't thought that the electricity would cause muscle seizures, hadn't even cross my mind.

Fucker had a few tricks up his sleeve. Good thing for me was that I did too.

I pulled a small length of rope out of my pocket. I'd kept a random selection of things in my arsenal. Never knew what was going to help you survive in a world where you could die at any second. And if just so happened that I'd saved a storm for this exact purpose.

Ok, crazy electrical storm demon dude trying to kill me with electricity was a bit on the nose but a similar situation. The storm would make the air a little more electric, but it would also help me redirect what he was sending at me. Saving storms was always a tricky processes, and knot binding only worked half the time. I'd be drained but it would work.

" _Toirneach agus uisge, a 'tighinn gu m' chobhair. Tha mi a 'leigeil mu sgaoil thu bho na daimhean mi a chruthachadh. Iasad dhomh do neart mar sin faodaidh mi mhair am blar seo._ " (Thunder and rain, come to my air. I release you from the bonds I've created. Lend me your strength so I may survive this battle.) Every couple words I undid a knot in my rope. Seven in total. With the last knot, thunder cracked through the arena. And it wasn't from Kosuke.

Electric eyes narrowed. "What are you doing, witch? You're giving me power with this storm!" I smirked.

"Am I though?" A bolt of electricity was shot at me once more. The electricity in the air was making his bolts stronger, but he didn't realize it was my electricity. The act was draining me significantly, but it was the easiest way to disable him.

He realized he was stuck when I waved my hand and the bolt shot into the wall. "Bitch…."

"One letter off, buddy," I snarked. Not the best idea, but my sarcasm was hitting new highs after spending so much time with Damon. I felt like this was just a horrible idea. Sarcasm was just dangerous for me, and it was clear that Kosuke didn't appreciate my attitude. The adrenaline wasn't helping at all. If anything it was making it worse. Damn draining hormones.

He went strictly on physical offensive after that. Kosuke was faster than I was, and it was putting me in a bad position. He knew he couldn't beat me with his electricity, so he tried to beat me through the ground. A hand wrapped around my throat, slamming me into the ground.

Fire. Fire. Four armed demon. Screams echoed through my ears. My vision went blurry. The dull pounding and the screaming of that first demon pounded in my head. The outline in my vision, blurry though it was, was that first demon. Grey and screaming. Fire everywhere.

My lungs burned, but I had to make it stop. I had to get that demon away from me. "S-spreadhadh…" I choked out, putting my hands on him. I didn't care where it started, I had to do something. Kosuke's eyes shot wide. He released me, hands clawing at his throat and chest. I shakily pushed myself to my feet. A scream tore from my opponent. His chest began to glow like red hot embers, spreading through his body.

It wasn't that first demon. It had been Kosuke. He had been trying to kill me, but I had been so certain that... it wasn't the first. It hadn't been.

A bang echoed through the stadium. I jumped, flinching and squeezing my eyes shut. Little drops and large chunks slammed into me. Wet clothes clung to me.

The screaming started seconds after. I knew it wasn't me. My eyes and mouth were closed. I didn't want to see what I'd done. Even knowing what had happened, I couldn't face it. It was like the aftermath of Carrie. Demons screaming in terror and anger filled my ears. Little things poked through the din. Koto calling the match in my favour. Demons screaming for my death. Damon whispering words of comfort in my ears.

I was led out of the stadium by my team. Dull pounding filled my ears. Was it footsteps? Was it a heartbeat? I couldn't tell. I couldn't even feel myself moving. Everything ached, though. My back and lungs burned, my eyes kept trying to shut. Everything hurt.

A wave of fresh air hit my face. I opened my eyes to see the sun shining bright in the sky. The last of my thunderstorm was fading away, and the familiar sounds of the forest were back. Conversations between spectators outside floated through the air, along with the occasional laugh of a child.

The team just kept walking me back to the hotel. I knew there were mirrors in certain areas along the way, but I never saw any of them. Not in the foyer, the elevator, any halls. Shoku and Kuro stood in front of each one. It was intended to help, but it begged one question.

How bad did I look? What was the aftermath of what I'd done?

Shoku went into the room before any of us. Damon made me stand in that hallway for what felt like hours, soaked and numb. When I was allowed in all the mirrors had been covered by blankets and towels.

My sneakers thunked from the clean carpets into the pristine tile. Damon was walking me into the shower. He tugged off my sneakers, then my pants, then my shirt and sports bra. I was left in just my underwear. A hot spray started up. Damon started to rinse me off like I was a porcelain doll tracked through mud. From the steam, the water had to be hot. Why wasn't it hot?

I looked down and my eyes shot wide. The water ran a vibrant red, with some red and flesh-toned chunks on the shower floor. Hot tears started to stream down my face. The water felt like ice. A wrench in my stomach tossed and shook. Acid poured from my throat, mixing in with the red water. A warm hand rubbed my back. The world spun in shades of red, pale green and white. Blood was rushing away from my brain. My lungs burned as I sobbed. Bright yellow eyes were carved into my mind, widened in fear and pain.

Fear and pain that I'd caused.

"It's ok, Fin. You're ok," Damon comforted. I registered the words, but he was wrong. I wasn't ok. I was a murderer. I'd been one before, but that was defense. It still gave me nightmares.

This was killing for sport. For a crowd. My life was at stake but this was entertainment for hundreds of thousands. There were kids in the arena that looked on in awe, that watched this like it was Sesame street. Kids that looked up to demons in the tournament like celebrities, wrestlers and comic heroes. As far as I was concerned, I was a monster now. I was no better than the worst of them.

I hit the hard porcelain of the shower floor. My chest heaved. There was no air. Just those eyes. Staring at me.

Damon kept trying to sooth me. "Everything is ok." "You survived." "You're not bad." All things that I didn't believe. I started to block him out. I knew he forgave me. I knew the rest of my team would treat me like I was awesome for what I'd done, save maybe Shoku, who at least kind of understood my struggle. I didn't forgive me. I never would. My family, who I hadn't spoken to in over 6 months, would never forgive me. There was no hope of rekindling anymore.

The worst part was that I would have to do it again. I was strong, but not strong enough to do this over and over. My mental health was fragile at worst before the tournament. Depression was a fact of my life. There were days I barely held on, clinging to the slightest bit of happiness. Not even the most powerful happiness spells could keep me smiling. But now I was put in the worst bender of my life.

This tournament was going to destroy me.

* * *

I didn't sleep at all that night. I just curled into a ball on my bed and stared out the window. Every molecule in my body was begging for me to get an ounce of sleep. Just something. The energy I'd used needed to be replenished. Every time I closed my eyes I heard the screaming. Saw the bright yellow eyes staring at me.

Takuma and Kuro didn't say anything to me. Takuma watched me out of the corner of his eye, and handed me the remote without hesitation when I sat next to him on the couch. Didn't even bitch when I put on Jeopardy. Kuro just stared at me like he always did. Like he was hungry. Shoku was being his usual patriarchal self, trying to comfort me in his misguided dad ways, quoting the books his wife had read him in hopes of making him feel better.

Damon was making crude jokes and trying to cheer me up and distract me from what had happened. He and Shoku were carefully watching me to ensure that I wasn't going to have a mental breakdown. I wasn't going to have one that they could see, that was for damn sure. They were both overbearing mother hens that I just couldn't deal with. It was nice to know that they cared, but they were suffocating.

All of them were suffocating me.

* * *

We went down to watch the team we were going up against next. Damon had tried to convince me to just stay in the hotel room, but being cramped up was just going to make me panic more. I was running on fumes and caffeine. Damon just kept handing me something, anything, to keep me awake. Monsters, Coke, iced tea and even my worst enemy: coffee. I'd sleep like the dead the next night, which was his main goal.

Better to sleep without dreams than to hear the screaming when I closed my eyes.

The next team was…. Interesting. When I saw them my mind went to Percy Jackson. Greek monsters that were a little out of place. Skewed and almost abstract, like Greek paintings come to life. If I'd known Gorgons were real I would've come prepared with a mirror.

I wasn't sure there was any reasonable strategy that I could apply to this nightmare. Just roll with the punches and hope for the best, I guess.

I sighed, wrapping my arms around my chest. There was nothing I could do about this fight. Winning was all that mattered if I was going to come out of this alive. Though if this was the price I had to pay for living, I wasn't sure if it was worth it. Being human with a conscience was just about the worst thing to be in this competition. Witchcraft didn't help much either.

Damon looked down at me, a small smile on his face. "How you doing?"

"I need Celestial bronze for this bullshit," I muttered bitterly. He just laughed.

"Maybe a lightsaber would work just as well?" he suggested. I glared at the incubus.

"Everyone knows celestial bronze is the only way to kill Greek monsters. That or imperial gold. Or adamantine," I corrected. "Jedi's kill Sith, Clone Troopes, battle droids, Ackalys. Don't be stupid."

He chuckled. "Good to know Percy Jackson has us covered, Fin Dorkwalker." I rolled my eyes.

"No need to be an asshole about it."

"No need to bring your pop culture nonsense into this."

I glared at him. "You know I went to Uni, right? I took a mythology class. I know how to kill Greek monsters, at the very least. I can also make Greek fire, which I'm proud of." The internet was a helpful thing. A partial recipe and some magic went a long way.

Damon stared at me. "Um, no, didn't know you wen to University. What did you do?"

"Bachelor of Arts, majored in psychology," I said. "Only thing I wanted to do. I just needed to get away for a while, so I haven't done anything with it. Can't beleive I never mentioned it."

My best friend thought for a few minutes. "That might explain why you're so oddly well adjusted." I kept quiet after that. If he thought I was well adjusted, I shuddered to think of what everyone he knew was like. I was a scared kid with depression and anxiety, who denied any symptoms until they built up inside and all exploded at the worst possible time. I wasn't good at dealing with my problems, I was good at dealing with the problems of others. Seemed strange, and it was, but hey, whatever works. I held shit inside and ignored it until I absolutely couldn't anymore.

Not healthy, but at this point my coping mechanisms didn't have time to be healthy. Build a fucking bridge and try not to let it catch fire as I crossed.

* * *

After the match, Damon, Shoku and I went down to the hotel restaurant. I picked at my food, barely eating anything. Shoku and Damon were both trying to talk about distracting subjects, anything but fighting. If anything, they were making it worse. Knowing that they were trying to make me forget was just making me think of it more. It wasn't helping by any means.

The Urameshi team, once again, was turning up everywhere. The group of four, plus 5 women, a child and a dude, dressed like what I imagined a stuck up douche would wear to make himself look royal, all slid into a corner booth not too far from us. My body curled around itself a little bit. I didn't want them to notice me if it was at all avoidable.

Akira, the cute little stinker, spotted me immediately. He stood up on the booth, waving ecstatically. I cautiously returned it, hoping that we would be left alone. Then Damon started waving back and making faces at the small child. What the fuck happened to him not liking kids? Had Akira suddenly grown on him?

Shoku immediately joined in on the faces. I bought him loving kids. He had a daughter that was only a little older than Akira. Loving children was a dad thing, not a bachelor cambion that loved to sleep around and fuck with the dreams of his virgin best friend.

But I digress.

It wasn't long until Akira and Ame came toddling over. Akira immediately hopped into the booth next to me. "Hi, Miss Finley."

"Hi, Akira," I greeted. I smiled at his mother. "Hey, Ame. How are you?"

"Fine, thanks. Akira just wanted to come say hello. How are you holding up?" she asked. This was the kind of woman I expected to be a mother. Warm, loving and perceptive. I had a feeling just from looking at me that she could read me like a book. She knew how I was feeling.

I shrugged, smiling at her as Akira gave me a massive hug. "I've been better…." I answered honestly. I didn't want to bring up how bad it actually was. Damon would just try to make me talk about it.

"Well, if you ever need to talk, about anything, just stop by our room ok? I know this must be hard on you," Ame offered.

Akira smiled up at me. "Uncle Kazuma said that too. If you ever want to talk about things you can talk to him. He's really nice. Uncle Hiei calls him stupid but I think Uncle Kazuma is really smart." The small boy frowned slightly. "All my uncles and Daddy were talking about how you must be sad about the fight though. I don't know why. I thought you were really cool, Miss Finley. You made the guy explode!" He looked at his mom, checking to make sure explode was the right word. He smiled at her slight nod.

I was stunned, and I felt all the blood rush from my head. This little boy thought that what I did was cool. He thought that exploding some guy was cool. That killing someone was cool. A gulp of air made it's way down my throat before I excused myself. I tried not to run to the bathroom.

My stomach heaved in front of the toilet. Anything I'd eaten was now worthless. A kid thought that this was ok. An innocent little kid was so accustomed to this violence that he thought I was cool.

There was a knock on the stall door. "Finley? Honey, come out if you can." Ame's voice echoed slightly in the small bathroom. I could barely breathe. I pushed open the stall door, barely stumbling to eh wall before I collapsed. "Hey, it's ok. Just breathe." A glass of water was pushed into my hands.

"Why?" I asked, barely holding back tears. "Why does he think that's ok behaviour?"

Ame sighed, sitting next to me. "He was raised around it. He's only half demon, you know, but he's used to seeing his uncle's and his father fight and train. I'm not sure he entirely understands the concept of death. His hamster hasn't even died yet," she joked. When I gave no response, she sighed. "Look, Finley, I know this must be hard on you. Lord knows I had a rough time with it when I started dating Kurama. But when I was turned, things started to make more sense. No one should kill for fun, Finley. That's wrong. You and I both know that. But this, this is self defense. If you don't fight you die. And I know it must be insane for you, realizing this all at once, but it'll get better. You'll adapt."

"I don't want to adapt to this…" I muttered, tears starting to fall. Arms wrapped around my shoulders. I sobbed into Ame's tee shirt.

"I know, honey, I know. I don't mean you get used to the violence," she soothed. "I meant you'll understand why sometimes it's necessary. You're never going to have to enjoy it like some people here do. That's ok. You'll understand when the violence helps. Like when you're saving someone you love, or fighting to save your own life. You're not doing anything wrong."

I shook my head. "Everything about this is wrong!" I exclaimed, tears streaming down my face. "I've been having nightmares about that first demon for ever since it happened. The ones in Canada were always kept away by wards. I didn't think I'd ever be put into…." I trailed off, words catching in my throat. The yellow eyes were still burned into my head.

"No one ever thinks they'll be put into this situation," Ame stated. "It's not your fault. If it helps, think of it this way. No one judges what you're doing here."

I sniffed, shaking my head. "I don't have any family back home, you know. Mom and Dad died in a car crash when I was 19. No one can judge me but myself. And isn't that the worst thing about it? I'm never going to stop judging myself for this."

"You know what they say… time heals all wounds." I frowned, staring at the bright white tiles. I knew clichés were things for a reason, and that in a lot of cases time alongside shitloads of therapy did fix everything. Time was the only thing that made my parents death feel a little better. Now I could deal with what had happened. I could even talk about it. It was a good amount of progress for what had happened. I was across the country when it happened, but it still shook me.

I just thanked my lucky stars I wasn't the one who had to ID the bodies. That would've been something I couldn't have recovered from. I already wasn't good with bodies, it was why I'd come to Japan rather than go through med school. Seeing the amount of bodies and blood I was seeing in this tournament was just making everything even worse.

"I know… but that's with things you can't control. This…. You don't forget shit like this…" Ame sighed, pulling me into a tight hug. "It won't get better."

"Well, I know this isn't much of a comfort, but you have us," she offered. "Not just my baby and I either. The other guys want to help you too. And you have your friends, Damon and Shoku. The other guys on your team right now don't seem too helpful, but everyone saw how they take care of you. You're not alone here, Finley."

"Thank you…" Tears started to flow again. I was having a hard time believing that a demon was being so nice to me. That she didn't want me dead. I knew I wasn't alone, realistically. But god, did it ever feel like I was. There was hole in my chest. I felt empty and more importantly, I knew I was a monster. The biggest monster on that godforsaken island.

I didn't say anything further to Ame after that. The bathroom just echoed with my occasional sniffs. She helped me clean myself up and leave the bathroom. Slipping back into the booth made me feel more broken than I had going into the bathroom.

Shoku looked at me like I was a kicked puppy that he wanted to hug, and Damon refused to say a thing to me. No jokes, no nerdy topics to distract me. Just watched me carefully and went back to treating me like I was about to break. I wasn't, and I was hoping some part of him knew that, but he never showed it. I was just coddled. I knew they meant well, but trying to tiptoe around me wasn't going to work.

I broke in the shower the night before. I broke sitting on that bathroom floor. I wasn't going to break in front of Damon again.

I was going to need some serious desensitization therapy after this shit. The only perk of having psychology training was that I knew what others were thinking (barely) and I knew basic therapy techniques. And fuck, I was going to need them all.

"I wonder if Spirit World has psychologists," I muttered to myself. Damon looked down at me, confused. I shrugged, lying to cover it up. "Hey, it'd be a career. And after this I really don't think I can go back to regular witching. Though it does pay pretty well." That wasn't a lie. It's surprising how much people would pay for a job spell. And how wrong they'd get my instructions.

Seriously, get a job spell, but they don't hand out resumes like I told them to. And then they claim I didn't tell them to hand them out. It was like working retail all over again.

Damon rolled his eyes. "You get more doing witchcraft."

"And I like psychology. Is that a problem?" I snapped. He held up his hands, looking slightly guilty. "I need to get some air," I snapped, pushing myself out of the booth. I'm sure that I looked like a maniac at this point. But who knew, maybe that would help me out of this nightmare.

* * *

It seemed typical that the island's weather was just utterly inappropriate for the tournament taking place on it. Sunny skies and warm temperatures were more suited to a vacation than to a tournament to the death. I'd expected the island to be a disaster of storms and clouds when I'd heard of it, but except for the one storm I'd caused, it had been clear, save a few puffy white Simpson's clouds. Even the weather seemed to be mocking me. Being on an island had never suited me, at least not one as small at this.

Hangman Island was just… claustrophobic. Every time I looked around I was drowning. The ocean swept me up and held me under. Everything looked so happy and perfect compared to the water that surrounded me. I was scared of water for a goddamn reason, and being surrounded by it was just nauseating. There was nothing on this island that made me feel safe.

I was holding onto my sanity by a thread at this point. And I wasn't sure it was going to get any better. If anything it was just going to get worse. The more awful things I saw while I was in the nightmare, the less I saw myself coming out of this still sound of mind. Not that I technically had one before coming into this.

I leaned against the side of the hotel, sliding down slowly. There was nothing good about today. I'd had a break down in the bathroom of a hotel restaurant. I'd stormed out on my friends. I'd killed a man the day before and had no sleep because of it. There was nothing that I was happy about today. There was nothing good.

The only thing that could be considered good was bonding a little with Ame, but even then her husband was probably going to kill one of my teammates, assuming we made it to the finals. Even then, I was going to end up dead here one way or another. Ame may have said she was going to be supportive, that everyone on their team wanted me to make it out of this alive, but I doubted I would. At best I'd be half alive.

"Hey?" A voice asked. "are you alright?" The thick Irish accent was very comforting, oddly enough. It was close enough to the warm Scottish accent of my grandparents. That alone made me feel a little safer.

"Been better…." I muttered honestly. I looked up to see a handsome demon, with wild red hair and a single horn on his head. "You know, if you're going to kill me, I'd recommend waiting until we're in the ring. That was you at least get credit for it."

The demon sat next to me, smiling warmly. "I wasn't planning on killing you. Inside or outside of the tournament. You seemed upset. I just wanted to check on you."

"And I'm supposed to just take this at face value?" I asked, an eyebrow popping up.

"I'm friends with Urameshi if that helps?" he offered, chuckling. "I can understand the hesitation though. It's reasonable to be scared here when over half the island thinks you're Satan." I glared at him. He just laughed. "Seem nice to me though, I can't understand why everyone here is so against witches. Like, I know the stories and everything, but there's no sign that you want everyone dead. When you were fighting it looked like you were going to try and knock him out rather than kill him. You didn't do anything until it was life or death situation. Nothing wrong with that."

This guy was unbelievable. "I guess my point of view isn't exactly easy to understand here…."

"Well, what's your point of view?" He asked. I looked at the guy. I didn't know his name. I didn't know if I could trust him. Yet something about him felt… like home. It was probably the accent, but it helped. In the six months that I'd lived with Damon he'd never had to comfort me. He still didn't know how to do it. This guy, I didn't know, but heaven knows I needed a little comfort in my life.

"This is wrong. And I'm a monster for killing the two demons I've killed," I stated. "That's all there is to it. I'm never going to be able to forgive myself for that."

The redhead chuckled. "You have a very different view than most humans…" I sighed.

"You don't know a lot of humans..."

* * *

Well, that was heavy. Those who did read, I hope you can understand why I put that little warning. I really enjoy writing these parts, as awful as that sounds, because it's a very human reaction to this.

Now, for that little note I mentioned at the top. Guys, I love writing this, I really do. But I've had the worst case of writer's block lately. I'm still powering through as much as I can, but I have a request of you guys that I think will help. I would like more feedback. Reviews, comments or advice on how to make this story better. I want to get better as a writer and in chapters like this I really need that feedback so I know how you guys are feeling about it. I'm not going to stop posting. I'm not going to demand a certain amount of reviews before I post a new chapter; I hate authors that do that. But if you guys have time and are willing, it would really help me out.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter (though enjoy is a little off considering the content). Please feel free to leave a review or comment, even just to call me a bitch for asking for more. :)


	6. Chapter 6: Things We Lost in the Fire

Hey, guys!

I'd like to apologize for missing the update this week. A lot came up in my school and work life so I had to prioritize. Putting out a product I'm not proud of isn't an option, so I delayed it to write and edit to the best of my abilities.

I will say, however that I'm going to respond to reviews personally instead of in the story from now on. I've felt that the beginning of this is starting to get congested and I'm not a huge fan of it. If you want things to be put in the story rather than personally, let me know but for now I think it may work a bit better. I'll just respond the day I upload so it's all done at once.

Thanks to Cuteasstrophe and Melissa Fairy for favouriting the story :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

The red head ended up leaving for his own match soon after our talk. I realized that I hadn't even asked his name. The Canadian in me was cringing. I tried to always be at least halfway polite, between biting sarcasm and my Slytherin sense of morals. I had to at least try to be polite and find him again.

Damon found me outside about an hour later, still in my spot and staring at the sky. He smiled at me, offering me a hand. My legs wobbled a bit, pins and needles shooting up them when I stood. He pulled me into a hug. I didn't want one, honestly. I'd been hugged too many times that day. Hugging wasn't my thing. They were good on occasion, mostly when I was crying in a bathroom and some drunk girl came and hugged me to tell me how pretty I am.

Drunk girls were the nicest people in the world.

It was sad that I felt Damon was my family more than the family I already had, if I stopped to think about it. My grandparents (my mother's side) and I had never gotten along. They saw what I did as something that I could be killed for and the number of times I'd been carted off to church with them were uncountable. Hell, when they found out I was bi they tried to get me to go to a camp that would pray the gay away. Damon, on the other hand, took everything I did in stride. He was like the older brother I'd always kind of wanted. Someone who was protective but not to the point where he was going to stop me from doing me.

We hadn't known each other for long, but he was my best friend. He'd never replace all the people I'd known back home, but he added a new dimension to my life. I could tell him about all the weird witchcraft and demon stuff, something I'd never told my friends back home purely out of fear for their safety. It was nice to be able to tell someone everything that was actually going on.

Not that I did, but knowing that I could was the point. I had a huge problem with opening up. Fear of rejection and past bullying probably had something to do with it. If I was ever going to tell anyone anything, it was because I was in tears having a breakdown.

Even Damon's disgust at my compassion and reluctance to kill in this tournament wasn't enough to keep me angry at him. I knew he was just trying to help and that was a big part of why I never talked to him about what was going on in my head.

Damon and I went up to the room. The rest of the team was sprawled around the couches. Shoku gave me a warm smile when we walked in. Kuro nodded. Takuma basically looked at me and then looked away. I snuggled down on the couch, holding a pillow on my lap. Now I just had to stop thinking for a little bit.

The opponents tomorrow were not going to be easy, and I was scared. But the more I thought about it, the worse that fear would get.

* * *

The next morning, we were getting prepared for our fight. I didn't think that this part was ever going to get any easier. Getting dressed knowing that at any second, you could get killed. All the faith and magic in the world couldn't guarantee that the amulets would work. I mean, I had a lot of faith, trust and pixie dust, all that Disney bullshit. But magic wasn't and never had been foolproof. It just meant we were really good at helping the odds move a little more in our favour.

I just wanted everyone to come out of this alive.

My hands nervously tugged and my hair, twisting blue stands in different directions. Dark brown eyes peered down at me. "My daughter does the same thing when she's nervous," Shoku commented with a warm smile. I shot a shaky smile back at him. "There is nothing to fear. Your kind has myths about these demons, correct?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Greek mythology. I took a class in University about it."

"Then you know how to defeat them."

"Yeah, but the old heroes all had celestial bronze and shit," I stated. "And what are the odds that gorgons are actually turned off by mirrors. It doesn't look like Athena cursed all of them to high heaven."

Shoku patted me on the head. "I have faith in you, Finley." I smiled at him, sending him my silent thank you. I didn't know much about Shoku aside from his family, but his fatherly energy was always relaxing in the very least. He acted like a dad to both myself and Damon, and I know both of us really needed him around.

When we walked into the arena, we were greeted with the same horrible chanting from the first match. Only they hated us more, if that was even possible. Our first win hadn't gotten us any love from the masses. Though I guess they didn't have much reason to love us.

Our opponents were still some of the ugliest things I'd ever seen. Greek myths were never something I wanted to see come to life. Looking at them was proof was that I was right to have never dreamed it up. They were less grotesque in the old art, but brought to life was another story.

A gorgon with hair of snakes, venom dripping from her tusks. A minotaur that was roughly the same size as Shoku, with bulging eyes and veins to match on his human torso. There was also a Cyclops, staring at us with a single glowing green eye. A large hammer was slung over his shoulder. There was also an empusa. Those I would've never expected. Here's hoping Damon didn't fight her. One goat leg, one bronze leg and flaming hair may not be conventionally attractive, but their entire purpose was seduction.

The final member of their team wasn disturbing to say the least. She was… normal. Except for the eyes and her heads. All three had bright green eyes with reptilian pupils, and each was looking in different directions. Only the one in the center stayed focused on me. I was hoping dearly that she wasn't a hydra and instead was Cerberus' weird sister. One you can distract with a ball. The other has regenerative heads. I knew which one would be easier to beat, but I also knew my luck.

I didn't have any. At all.

We stared at each other while Koto started her announcing crap.

"I would like to suggest the terms," the multi-headed girl offered. "We let the Fates decide. We must allow Atropos, with her abhorred shears to determine the outcome of these battles." She held up two dice, the names of my team and hers inscribed on each side. I'd forgotten that Greeks had a thing for games of chance. Hell, they gambled in the Parthenon. As much I loved games of chance, assuming there was nothing to be lost, I wasn't sure that was something I wanted to risk in this situation.

I saw Damon nod out of the corner of my eye. "Best of five then?" I confirmed. The three-headed girl nodded. "Sounds good."

"You cannot manipulate these dice, daughter of Hekate," the Gorgon hissed. "We have taken measures against your kind." I just blinked at her for a minute, trying to process that.

"Ok, for one, not a daughter of Hekate. She's cool, but I stay away from gods in my work. And second, I didn't even think to cheat. Thanks for your concern, though," I snapped. "Just roll the damn dice." She smiled wryly at me, tossing the two dice into the air. All eyes in the arena were on those two dice as they dropped. They clicked as they rolled to my feet. One said Takuma. That, thankfully, I could read. The other name, however, was written in Greek.

I wasn't good at reading written Japanese, but at least I could read names. If I made it out of this, my Japanese literacy was going to have to improve at least a little bit. Then maybe I'd be able to pick up any book I wanted from a store instead of having to dig through for an English translation. Fuck knows I'd probably been missing a ton of language-specific jokes.

Takuma and the Cyclops remained in the ring as the rest of us stepped back. The clyclops looked even more confident that he had before. Takuma wasn't exactly a giant, intimidating person, though he was still more than competent. The two of them were smiling at each other like they were excited. Takuma was just bouncing for a fight like this. "Alright! The first match is Takuma vs Aristarchos!" Koto exclaimed. "Begin!"

Watching this, I understood why Cyclopes were portrayed as terrifying in modern culture. Aristarchos was massive, unrelenting, and swinging his giant hammer around like he was an Olympic athlete. Surprisingly graceful for a one-eyed behemoth with blind spots the size of Ontario.

Takuma immediately launched at him. The cyclops dodged and swung, barely clipping the end of Takuma's wing. I hoped he wasn't planning on flying, cause that sure as hell wasn't happening.

It only took a second to realize what Takuma was trying to do. He was trying to sink he fangs into Aristarchos. The poison wasn't something you thought about too often, but it was deadly. It wasn't just a paralytic poison; it had some handy hallucinogenic properties too. One bite would be enough to slowly kill the cyclops, hopefully. There was no way in hell Takuma would let him die from that, though. He was too impatient and it would take too long on a guy like Aristarchos. He was too big.

A crack echoed through the stadium, followed by a puff of dust and shattered concrete. Takuma crawled from the rubble, blood streaming down his face. A lump formed in my throat. Takuma seemed so in control in the other fight. Losing didn't seem like an issue for him.

Losing was a real possibility now. It hadn't seemed real before. Flashbacks when Kosuke had his hands around my neck was something I'd chalked up to lasting damage from my first attack. I hadn't realized in that moment that I was dying. I'd just seen that first demon trying to kill me. This… this was making it real.

Takuma staggered to his feet. The giant cyclops left the ring, grabbing Takuma by the throat. One move and Takuma was back in the ring, thrown flat on his back. Nails dug into my hands. This didn't look good for him. Koto started the count as Aristarchos thundered back into the ring. A small trickle of blood was running down his hand. Odd… when had he gotten hurt? Maybe he got himself on a rock or something.

The cyclops movements slowed. Takuma struggled to get up, arms and legs shaking. Suddenly Aristarchos froze. A sly grin came over our bat demon's face. Damon gasped, grinning.

"He managed to get him…." He muttered in awe. I stared at the ring. Takuma had managed to get Aristarchos with the venom. How? We hadn't even seen it.

"Licked my claws," Takuma gasped out. "Got you right before I hit the wall." Artisarchos' eyes widened. Takuma staggered up to him. I barely had time to look away before he ripped out Aristarchos' throat. Shoku's hand rested on my head.

I rushed into the ring the second Koto made the announcement. Takuma smiled at me as I threw his arm around my shoulder. "Dude, you did great," I said. We made our way out of the ring.

"I'm hardly capable of fighting anymore," Takuma stated. "Let's hope my name doesn't come up again." I nodded, shooting a weak smile his way. Damon and I sat him up against the ring, just under the edge. It was probably safer than the outer edge. If we kept getting thrown into walls the way we did we might hit him.

Three-headed lady threw the dice into the ring again. Koto leaned over the dice, reading off the names. "Ok, guys! Looks like this one is between Kallisto of Team Nike and Finley Conneigan!" My heartrate skyrocketed as I saw the gorgon step up. Not who I wanted to fight.

Then again, any fighting was outside of my comfort zone.

The one perk of this, I supposed, was that I wasn't shaking as I stepped into the ring. Gorgons had always been one of those mythical creatures that gave me the heebie-jeebies. I think it probably had something to do with being told those stories as a child, right before bed. Grandma had a way with words. They were just words that induced powerful nightmares in a five-year-old.

Grey lips stretched over yellowed tusks. "This will be fun," Kallisto growled. I know Poseidon had found one of these things attractive, but maybe Medusa was the pretty sister? Normally I didn't like being mean about appearances, but these demons didn't seem to have an average. It was either ugly as sin or so attractive it made your eyes hurt a little. At this point it just wasn't fair. To them or humans.

"Wouldn't count on that." My voice was quiet, but I was sure she still heard it. A low hiss came from her hair.

"Second fight, Kallisto versus Finley!" Koto exclaimed. "Begin!"

I barely dodged the first attack. She came at me with claws. I didn't think that the tusks were sharp enough to actually puncture skin, but with enough force they could probably break bone. Snakes were probably venomous. I just didn't have anything concrete to go off.

Everything was passive with me. I wasn't good at being offensive. Damon had 6 months to try and beat it into me. It hadn't worked. I was polite, I was a pacifist. Violence was just wrong for me. I was godawful at it.

A pair of claws hit my arm. I gritted my teeth. No screaming. If I screamed I was going to look worse than I already did. There was no way in hell these people didn't think I was a joke. They weren't wrong. A sloppy punch was thrown in her direction. I was immediately slammed into the ground.

I kept sitting in that same crushing reality that I could die here. The heavy pounding of my heart was echoing in my head over and over. I could die. I probably would die.

Kallisto threw a punch at me, growling. "Pay attention, witch. I want to see your eyes as I kill you." I almost gagged at that. The terror was getting deeper and deeper, settling in my bones. There was no reason to be this scared of a gorgon.

I was scared of the situation.

A burn went through my shoulder. Kallisto had gotten me with her tusks. They were way sharper than I thought. Quick damage assessment showed that she didn't get an artery. Nothing was spurting, but there was a lot of bleeding.

Pain started to shoot through my body. I could hardly move. My limbs froze.

"Idiot witch," Kallisto boasted. "My tusks have paralytic venom. You're not going anywhere. It does wear off in about 15 minutes, but you won't live long enough to see it fade." If I could've started crying, I might've. She had complete power to kill me.

She ran at me. I was unable to move. But a yell from Damon saved me. "Not today you ugly bitch!" Kallisto ran face first into me, sending my frozen body flying into the arena walls. Damon's distraction had helped, but we really needed to stop hitting these walls. It was getting ridiculous, and though I hated the tournament organizers for putting me here, we were just being inconsiderate. And possibly hurting a lot of people who, while not innocent, weren't attempting to kill me at that exact moment.

I was covered in rubble, unable to move. Koto seemed to start the ten count a lot sooner than I'd thought. It didn't seem like Kallisto was coming after me. Instead there was vague screaming. Probably at Damon. Thank Christ for Damon, and for a gorgon's incessant narcissism.

This was why I loved Damon so much. He was like the brother I'd never had. My eyes were shut tight, keeping the dust out of my eyes. I was scared, frozen and felt crushed by rocks and rubble. Everything felt kind of sore and in pain, and I thought my shoulder was still bleeding. I couldn't quite tell. It stung, either way.

Bright streams of light started to stream in. I could see the bright lights through my eyelids a little. "Fin? Fin, come on honey, don't die on me." Damon's voice started pushing through. Warm arms wrapped around me, lifting me out of the rubble. I managed to force my eyes open. Maybe Kallisto's weird venom didn't affect facial muscles? That didn't seem right, cause I couldn't talk. Could've been spending its potency on bigger muscles though.

Damon laid me own next to Takuma, who wasn't looking any better than I was.

The bat demon looked over at me, frowning. "She got you good, huh?" I couldn't even respond. "It's ok. I think whoever's next is going to try and draw it out a bit. If you fight again, you should be fine." It was always a weird feeling when Takuma wasn't being a dick to me. It was almost like we got along. Almost.

"The next match will be Charmion versus Damon!" Koto announced. I frowned. That sounded like a girl's name, so he was either against the Empusa or the three-headed girl. Three-headed girl would be better. With the empusa it would be the battle of people that like to fuck and lord knows that amount of sexual tension was not welcome in the ring today.

I watched Damon hop into the ring, and then I couldn't see anything. I wasn't thrilled with that. I wanted to watch, if only to feel a little less anxiety about how the idiot was fairing. Sitting blind I couldn't tell who was getting the worst. I'd just hear it as Damon getting beat to shit and I really didn't need to start crying in an arena full of demons. I cried in the shower where no one can hear me.

It was times like this when I realized my methods of preserving my dignity were self-destructive.

Shoku saw the look in my eyes and lifted me from the side of the platform and to my feet. I couldn't stand on my own, but at least he wasn't holding me like a child. I appreciated when I was upset but right now I just hurt. I hurt all over.

Damon and the Empusa stood in the ring. Fuck. I hadn't wanted him to fight her. Shoku would've been fine, because he was already so in love it was impossible for him to even look at anyone else sexually. He would've been perfect. But no. It had to be Damon "thinks-with-his-dick" the cambion. Just fucking brilliant.

A sickening crack echoed through the arena as Koto opened her mouth to start the match.

All eyes were on the three-headed girl. In her hand, she held the head of Kallisto. Jesus Christ. All three heads looked straight at me. A lazy grin spread over her face, revealing sharp pointed teeth.

"What? She couldn't kill the witch. No reason to keep her alive if she can't do that much," she hissed. If I could've shivered, I would've. That girl was batshit. She killed her own teammate without so much as a blink of an eye. And one of us was going to have to fight her.

Damon and the Empusa hadn't taken their eyes off one another in the ring, though there was no way that they could've missed what happened. I desperately hoped that he had her under his weird incubus spell and not the other way around. Empusas were dangerous. So was Damon, but if she hooked her claws into him we were going to have a big problem. Hell, from the mutterings of the crowd half of them were already under her spell. They couldn't see what she really looked like.

Everyone was beautiful in their own way, but something told me that one goat leg, one bronze one and flaming hair was probably the limit for a lot of these guys. The goat leg was what did it for me personally.

Koto started the match, but the two just stood in the ring, staring at each other. It was both creepy and oddly sexual. Though I supposed the two had to go hand in hand in this situation. Damon had this weird thing that I called his 'sex-gaze,' and hopefully he wasn't using it. I'd been on the receiving end of it once, and while I didn't go completely sex crazed, I definitely considered having sex with Damon.

The regret I had from letting him stay at my home was getting to great to handle.

Out of no where the two launched at each other. My jaw started to unhinge a little. The venom was wearing off. Thank God I hadn't gotten a lot of it. Too much may have killed me. Damon grabbed Charmion from behind, whispering something in her ear before forcefully wacking her to the side. Charmion got up, smiling wickedly. I hoped that Damon saw her for what she was.

Charmion turned on the charm. To me, she looked identical. The crowd disagreed. They all started screaming and cheering like she was a drunk girl at a bar who just took her top off. Damon's wide eyes confirmed that.

Shoku looked down at me. "Do you understand what's happening?" I shook my head. "I hate to be rude, but she is still as ugly as she was before." He wasn't wrong. There hadn't been any visible change.

A wide smirked crossed Damon's face. I knew that look. It was the look of Damon getting both excited and turned on. A dangerous combination.

It was never look directed at me in a fight, but I had seen it a few times after I'd had my worst, or in his opinion best, sex dreams. Mostly because teasing me was his greatest joy.

That look meant that Charmion wasn't going to stand a goddamn chance. The empusa moved around the area, practically dancing. I'd give her one thing. She was good at looking pretty, even with the ugly. Damon just stalked her like a panther, following her every move. It was the sexiest fight that ever did exist. They two looked like they were about to fuck on the platform.

Blows started to be exchanged the closer they got together. Blow by blow by blow. The two went at each other.

A bang went through the arena. Two bright flashes of light. Another bang. They were on opposite sides of the arena again. Empusa could manipulate their energy too… I guess it made sense, considering that both fed on primarily sexual energy. Both were throwing pure energy at each other. It was a beautiful light show.

Damon grabbed Charmion from behind, holding his hand to her neck. A glow built up in his palm. More and more energy until… BANG. Charmion's head was in pieces.

I turned away, coughing and gagging. This was painful. Blood was everywhere. I hated blood so fucking much. I already couldn't stand medical needles. Watching my own blood be drawn made me want to vomit. A shitton of blood from another person was just about enough to make me die.

"W-well then," Koto exclaimed. "I have to say that was both incredibly sexy and totally brutal! I love it! The winner by death is Damon!" Seriously, someone get that woman some therapy. Anyone that turned on by blood and violence may need some help. Sure, gore fetishes are a thing, but this was too much.

The three headed girl and the minotaur were the only ones left on the team. Damon returned to us, letting me lean on him instead of Shoku.

Three-headed Girl threw the dice again. "Next match is Nicanor versus Shoku!" Shoku shot me a smile before heading to the ring. Damon and I both saw it, but I don't think he saw quite the same thing I did. What I saw was the lack of crinkles by his eyes. The slight fear that was present. I knew him. His smile didn't reach his eyes. Shoku was scared.

The minotaur was the opponent. The fear made more sense. Shoku and Nicanor looked evenly matched. Both were giant men that had their strength going for them. And only their strength. Shoku was intelligent, kind and strong. Most important, though, was his burning drive to get back home to his wife and daughter. Shoku wasn't going to leave his family behind. You'd have to kill him to stop him.

Koto started the match. The men went into an instant wrestle, each pushing at the other. They were perfectly matched in strength. Whichever one was smarter was the one who was going to win. They started pounding the ever loving shit out of each other.

Every punch Shoku landed was matched by Nicanor. Each blow met with one of equal strength. Damon and I were both holding our breaths for this. Each blow echoed n my head. Shoku was doing well, but there was no telling what was going to happen with this match. Shoku could lose.

We all could lose.

It took three minutes for both parties to be bleeding heavily. Shoku's nose was crooked, the minotaur was missing an ear. As the ring in his nose was ripped out I flinched.

Imagining my septum ring getting ripped out made me want to cry. But hey, a flinch meant that I was getting my body back. I would take it. Damon smirked at me and tugged on the little half-ring hanging from my nose. I had enough to bat his hand away. Thank the force.

Blow after blow after blow. Neither one was backing down. My eyes started to sting. Shoku was so dedicated to his family. He would go to the ends of the earth for them. For Kimiko and Sayuri. Shoku was going to get home to them and the minotaur was just another obstacle to get past.

Shoku and the minotaur ran at each other, each landing one punch on the other's jaw. They spiraled off and crashed just off the rings bounds. My heart shot into my throat. Whichever one got up first was going to win. Shoku had to get up.

Koto started the ten count, but neither were moving. "5, 4, 3, 2 and 1!" Koto looked around, frowning. "Well, since no one is in the ring, I guess it's a draw! Come on guys, lets get some more blood next time."

I forced my legs to go to Shoku's beaten body. He was still conscious, smiling and proud of himself. "What a worthy opponent. That was fun."

I smiled at him, leaning down to help him up. He could barely stand, but our entire team was on the ropes at this point. Damon and Kuro were ok, Kuro hadn't even stuck him extra long neck out yet, but the rest of us were getting the shit beaten out of us. Takuma still couldn't stand. My shoulder wasn't bleeding anymore, the poison was wearing off and I was exhausted.

Damon looked down at me as Shoku and I stood next to him. "Why haven't you used the daggers this entire time, Finley?" he asked. I avoided eye contact with him. He judged my warm heart even more than he did at first. I know he expected me to go through this without any reservations after the last fight. It had been his entire premise since the beginning.

I'd kill and I'd be done with the whole "Guilt bullshit." Damon had always thought I would get over it. That wasn't going to happen. I never used the knives because doing it in training was one thing. Doing it in a battle meant I was prepared to kill. That is how I saw it.

I never wanted to be prepared to kill.

* * *

That's it for this chapter. I will give you guys one hint though. In the next chapter we will be seeing more of the Urameshi crew. This I promise. I'm excited for it too, I know it's been far too long in this without any good old Rekai Tantei. We gotta have the nerds. I know this one was a slower, more fight-based chapter, but it is necessary.

Please feel free to review and comment to let me know how you're feeling about the story so far. Thanks :)


	7. Chapter 7: Only the Good Die Young

Hi guys!

Just to let you guys know, for the next little bit I'm going to be posting once a week. I'm getting into end-of-semester and I have a lot of tests and essays coming up, so for my own sanity I'm keeping the updates weekly.

I just wanted to thank you guys for the response to this as we've been going along. You guys are great. :) Also, thank you to MissLini fand nikiface26 for following, and Reality's Escape (for some reason the editor won't let me write your user properly, I'm sorry) for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, and characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

The final member of Team Nike stepped up to bat. Three headed girl was the last person fit to fight. The Minotaur hadn't moved, so odds are he was dead or just so broken he couldn't. A sad part of me hoped he was dead. Dead men couldn't get back up to kill me.

Bright green eyes looked over us all. "Since I'm the last I hardly think we need roll mine," she hissed, smirking. Another roll and all of us were holding our breath. If it was Takuma, we were fucked. If it was Shoku, we were fucked. If it was me, we were fucked. Damon and Kuro were our only hopes, and Kuro hadn't even lifted a finger. He'd hardly been watching.

"It's Damon versus Alecto!" Koto exclaimed. All of us let out a relieved sigh. Damon could handle this. Half of us were too exhausted to fight again. At least Damon had his never-ending supply of energy. He jumped into the ring, swinging his hands back and forth like he was getting ready for a schoolyard brawl. He was so reckless.

Koto started the match, and I waited with bated breath to see what kind of demon she actually was. She had snake eyes, but maybe she wasn't a hydra. Maybe she was Cerberus' weird cousin. Maybe I was wrong.

Damon dove at the girl, aiming a sucker punch to her stomach. Only to get knocked back on the floor, coughing. A small purple cloud was floating in the air. Shit.

What in Greek myth had poisonous breath? Cerberus didn't. Maybe Hydras did? I couldn't remember. All monsters started to blur together after writing essays about them almost 3 years prior. It wasn't good and it was probably why I only got a B in that course. But if she was a hydra, he couldn't aim at her head.

Damon started to load up an energy attack, aimed at the center head. "NO!" I screamed. It was too late. The center head was blown clean off. The body fell back, the other heads glaring at Damon. Damon turned to look at me, shooting me a glare of his own.

"What the fuck, Finley? I just won!" he yelled.

I opened my mouth to snap back, but the body was getting up. Two small lumps started to push out of the empty hole where the first head had been, two more beginning to grow. Damon turned to see what I was staring at. His jaw dropped. I was praying she wasn't a hydra. But what luck did I have?

All of Alecto's four heads started laughing. "You have no hope with that, cambion. When one disappears, two more will appear."

Damon growled and went at her again, trying to land a solid hit. Alecto dodged almost effortlessly, moving out of his way like she was seeing every move before he made it. The other heads were watching Damon as he threw punch after punch. Having those extra heads probably gave her a massive advantage over him. She could see all around her at every moment. It was 360-degree vision that Damon couldn't beat. I wasn't sure that any of us could.

Alecto aimed a punch at Damon stomach, a burst of purple gas blown into his face. The blow shoved him up into the air, and he landed hard across her knee. I flinched, eyes watering. He looked like he'd been snapped in two and there was nothing I could do but watch from the sidelines. Damon coughed, spitting blood onto the floor of the ring. The hydra just laughed, kicking him in the side.

He wasn't moving. Koto started the ten count as Alecto just kept kicking. A dull glow was coming from Damon's hand. He was charging up something. I just didn't know what. What was he planning? Unless he blew a hole straight through her heart he wasn't going to win and he was laying on the ground underneath her. She'd see him long before he got a chance to aim at her chest.

A bang and a scream echoed through the stadium. Alecto's leg was blown clean off. Koto finished her ten count, declaring Alecto the winner of the battle. Damon pushed himself to his feet, smirking at Alecto. From the stump where her leg had been another started two to grow. I didn't think that all of their body parts would be able to regenerate. Some myths supported it, but it had always seemed far-fetched to me. It was nice to know that her entire body was like a lizards tail.

When he got to the edge of the ring, Shoku and I helped him down. Damon looked grave. "That should throw her off for a bit. But she'll adapt soon enough. Hopefully three legs will fuck her up."

I nodded, understanding what he had done. He knew he wasn't going to beat her. He'd been thrown off by the extra head and the poisonous breath. No matter what, though, he wasn't going to leave the next fighter out to dry against her. We had to make sure that we beat her now. If we lost this fight, we were out of the tournament and we were dead. That was the end of it.

Damon had given us the extra push to win against this bitch.

Koto was the one to toss the dice. "The last fight will be Alecto versus Finley." My heart skipped a beat. I was the deciding factor in this fight. If I lost, we all lost. If I lost, we all died. I wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility. I didn't want that responsibility.

Alecto struggled to her developing feet, a sick grin forming over he face. "I get to kill the witch. This will be fun for me. I won't fail as Kallisto did." I gulped, jumping into the ring. I was trying to pull every bullshit piece of background knowledge I had out for this.

How to kill a hydra, step one: Don't go for it's heads, no matter what you fucking do.

Step two: If you can get it's heart, do that. That it can't bring back, hopefully. Logically, if there was no blood flow to regenerating parts, they couldn't grow back.

Step three: Do your best to not breath in the gas she breathes out. I had no idea what the fuck it did, and it was better to avoid getting poisoned anyways. I'd been paralyzed once, I got the fucking tee-shirt, I didn't plan to do it again.

"Begin!" Koto started the match. I launched at the hydra, taking initiative for once. Spurred on by the knowledge that if I didn't win, my team's blood was on my hands. I had to do this for them. Even if I hated myself for it.

Alecto couldn't move fast enough to dodge my punch. She still hadn't gotten used to being the three-legged monster child. That was good for me at the very least. I could keep pounding on her and there was nothing she could do to stop me. I had the power, albeit only slightly more than she did. Once she regained her balance I was fucked.

I managed to get her again, this time aiming a kick to her ribs. She choked, spitting out puffs of the poison gas. I was actually doing it. My only edge was her disorientation with her new limb. I had to beat her before she got used to it. I had to win.

Everything I aimed at her wasn't intended to kill though. I knew that. Damon's judging eyes from the sidelines knew it. I knew I'd have to kill her. There wasn't anything to avoid it. She wouldn't stop until she stopped breathing.

I never wanted to be prepared to kill, but I had to be.

Alecto landed a crack to my jaw, sending me to the floor. I rubbed my jaw, pushing myself from the ground. I drew one of my knives. I hated myself, but it had to be done or everyone would die. I couldn't let them die. They were my family. They were all I had. Damon, Shoku, Takuma, even Kuro. This was for them.

She saw the dagger in my hand. "Are you finally prepared to take this seriously? I would hate to kill a witch that wasn't even trying."

Green eyes met my grey ones. "Alecto, you can't possibly understand how I'm feeling right now. What I just came to terms with. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She hissed, laughing bitterly. "Why would I accept an apology from a witch? A witch I'm going to kill, no less."

"Because I'm not letting you leave this ring." My voice was more confident than I was. "I can't let you win. Your team might have meant jack shit to you, but mine is all I have." They were my friends, my family. I wasn't going to let anyone take them away from what they were fighting for.

Alecto hissed and came at me. I would swipe at her, trying to land a solid hit. She punched and spat her awful gas. She knocked my flat on my back, and climbed on top before I could catch my breath enough to stand.

"You're done," she breathed. A bunch of gas came to my face. I coughed, feeling myself lose consciousness. I raised my arms behind her and, as a last ditch effort before I passed out, I drove my dagger through her back. It came out just above my chest, through her heart. She stared at me, eyes wide as she started to choke on her own blood.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, watching as the light left her eyes. Her body fell onto mine, blood soaking through my clothes. Koto looked at the two of us as I shoved Alecto's limp body off of me. "Call it, she's not getting up." I knew the only thing to kill a hydra was getting their heart. I was just sad that it had to end that way. And that look in her eyes... it was going to be burned into my mind for the rest of my life.

The shock and the horror of death. The anger and the fear in the green snake-like eyes would haunt me like all the others.

"The winner of the match is Finley! That means that Team Conneigan will advance to the next round!" Koto exclaimed, almost half-hearted. "Why do you look so sad? This is fun..." she asked me, mic away from her mouth. I just shook my head, walking away from the ring and shaking my head. It was still foggy and clouded. Maybe Alecto's poison was meant to disorient the victim. Made sense. I could hardly see straight.

BING BONG. "The tournament committee would like to announce that the third round of the Dark Tournament will commence immediately, beginning with Team Conneigan versus The True Nightmares!" I ignored the idiotic name of the next team. I was struck with disbelief. They were going to make us fight again? So soon after the previous fight? "There will be a fifteen minute break while the next team enters the ring."

Shoku helped me down from the ring. Damon and Takuma were hurting real bad. The only ones who would be able to fight were myself, Shoku and Kuro. Takuma still couldn't stand and Damon had gotten a knee to the spine. There was no hope for them to fight. Shoku, Kuro and I would have to take them on alone.

I looked up at the giant man next to me. "Shoku, what are we going to do?" I pleaded.

"We will make due. As you said, we can't let them win," Shoku comforted. "We are stronger than they give us credit for and we will survive." The rock-hard man put a hand on my head, patting. I wasn't a child, and he knew that, but it was still reassuring. Shoku was figuratively and literally the rock of the team. Without him, I was sure I'd be falling apart and Damon wouldn't be far behind me.

"Damon and I can't fight," Takuma snapped. We all looked at him. "So, it'll be you three against them. I say we go for a three on three. We trained for this situation and I think we can pull it off. It means that you'll be able to team up. And to be honest, Finley, I don't think you can take much more tonight." He wasn't wrong. Even though Takuma was a giant asshole, he at least knew how I was feeling and it wasn't good. I'd lost my first match. Killed in my second. Been paralyzed and disoriented. My shoulder still hurt like a bitch.

I wasn't going to last too long, emotionally or physically. If I made it through this alive I figured I'd be fine. We just needed everyone else to get through it, too. The sad thing was that I wasn't sure we'd be able to.

* * *

The next team came into the ring. I didn't know which ones we'd be fighting, but it didn't really matter. They were all straight from the Japanese folklore my grandfather had told me as bedtime stories, inappropriate thought they were. The more I learned about this world that more I realized that not everything they told me had been a story.

Koto pulled myself and the leader of the other team, a giant dude covered in eyes, up to the center of the ring. "Ok guys, time to determine the rules of this match."

"We're going to do a three on three," I stated. I wasn't going to let them change how this was going to work. There was a good chance that we could lose this and this gave us the best chance of victory. "Who ever has all three knocked out first loses."

The hundred-eyed guy smiled cruelly at me. "Sounds good to me. Half your team can't even fight anyways. At least this will be fun." He wasn't wrong. We were so beat up I was surprised that Shoku and I were even standing. I'd been so frazzled in the matches I hadn't even had the focus or the life-or-death drive to do magic. Shoku had gotten the crap kicked out of him, even though he'd dealt it as well as he got. Both of us were roughed up and not at our best.

The tournament committee was from hell, that I knew for sure.

I walked into the ring, Shoku and Kuro following me. Shoku and I were nervous. Kuro I couldn't get a read on. That fucker was as stoic as ever. He just wore his typically hungry expression like a security blanket. It made me fucking terrified of him, but there was nothing I could do about it. Just pray that once this nightmare was over I'd never see him again.

Assuming I got out of this alive.

We were up against the hundred-eyed dude, some grey guy that looked like he could blow away with a light breeze and one-eyed guy with giant fucking teeth. I was terrified, but we had to do this. If we didn't win, we would die.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shoku pull a picture out of his pocket. I knew he kept a picture of his family on him while he was fighting, but I hadn't seen him look at it before a match. He usually kissed the photo on his bedside table before we came down. That alone shook me. It was like he just wanted to see them in case something bad happened.

I couldn't let anything bad happen. He was going to get back to his wife and daughter.

It was a stare down in the center of the ring. I didn't listen as Koto listed off our names. Just the pounding of my heart and the repeating words in my head telling me that I had to win. We had to win. We had to win.

When the match began we all went into a separate fight. It was less fighting together as it was we all instinctively went for one individual over the others. Not planned on our part, but it may have been on theirs. Take us out one by one. We were bound to get taken out this way. The ring wasn't big enough to have us all in separate fights. We were going to end up interfering with one another as we fought.

The one that came at me was the grey one. Shoku was up against Hundred-Eyed Guy, and Kuro was up against One-Eyed guy with the sharp teeth.

My guy was scary. He was grey and black-eyed and just terrifying. There was nothing that made me feel even kind of confident in winning. Except Shoku fighting next to me. We were all throwing punches and attempting to kick the shit out of our opponents. Each opponent seemed relatively normal. If normal was the right word for a bunch of demons trying to kill me.

Then the head of the guy I was against came off and his body dissolved into smoke. My jaw dropped in horror. What the fuck? What the ever-loving fuck? I was fighting a smoke monster. A motherfucking smoke monster. Demons from Supernatural weren't supposed to be real, and I had a nagging feeling that yelling in Latin wouldn't help me get rid of this thing.

I panicked. The little particles were so fine that I wasn't sure how exactly to handle it. I lost anything to hit. Then I breathed some in. My lungs burned. Each little particle was attacking me from the inside out. I could almost imagine the lungs on the back of a package of smokes as mine struggled to get any air.

Demons really like to try to suffocate me.

Then something hit me. If there was one shitty thing I'd learned from watching Black Butler, it was that small particles ignited very easily. A small bit of fire and he'd go off like a bomb. A wave of self-loathing came over me. I was considering murder as my first option. But it might save my team. But it was wrong. But if we lost, they would die.

They had to come first.

"Hey guys," I yelled, mentally building up a little flame in my palms. "When I say now, duck and cover." Shoku looked at me.

"What exactly are you planning, Finley?" he demanded.

I just shook my head. "Boom." I pushed out the fire through my hand, a small particle of the smoke demon catching flame. "NOW!" A massive bang echoed through the arena. I ducked, trying to not let myself get burned by the fire. Thank God my fire didn't hurt me.

Everyone stood after the smoke and remains of smoke guy cleared. We all went back in, opponents burned and hurting. We were kind of singed and hurting. Those charms I made sure were helping us keep our shit together, though my lungs still burned.

I helped Kuro fight One-Eyed Guy. Shoku was doing well against Hundred-Eyed Guy and had him in a choke-hold, so I figured my help wasn't needed. Kuro was still doing well, but I figured I could do something. I fought alongside Kuro, trying to help him. His opponent was keeping some distance on both of us. The attacks he was throwing at us were little balls of black energy. And it was terrifying.

But we were making some sort of headway. Until Kuro fucked me.

The head had come off Shoku's opponent, and while Shoku had won, his injuries were bad. He was puffing and bleeding, but victorious. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something sparkling on the ground not too far from him. I paid it no mind. Shoku had won. It was only Kuro's original opponent left, and together all three of us could easily take him.

One-Eyed Guy threw an attack at Kuro. Kuro's hand wrapped around my wrist, dragging me into the center of the dark flashing attack. I barely dropped to the floor fast enough to dodge. I didn't realize that Shoku was right behind me.

I turned and looked to check on him, hoping for some backup. A strangled scream echoed through the arena. It took me a moment to realize that it was mine.

Shoku was on the ground, a messy hole through his chest and blooding spilling onto the ground around him. No. Not Shoku. I ran over to him, falling to my knees in the blood. "Shoku? Shoku, no. No," I pleaded. "Please, no." This was all my fault. If I'd taken the hit, he would be alive. It was all my fault. I should've just taken the hit.

Now Shoku was dead. Laying on the ground with a broken protection charm. My vision went blurry, hot tracks of tears burning down my cheeks.

Kimiko and Sayuri were all alone. Without Shoku, the Tournament committee would kill them. They were dead. The father of a 5-year-old girl was dead.

And it was all my fault.

Kuro had fucked me and I fucked Shoku. It was my fault.

I stood to my feet, shaking and my back to the other two fighters. I couldn't hear them going anymore. My screaming had put a stop to everything in the arena. Everyone was watching me. It was dead silent. No one in the arena was jeering for a moment.

Then deafening cheers burst out around me. "YES! NOW KILL THE WITCH!" "ONE DOWN, FOUR TO GO!" "KILL THEM ALL!" "YES HE'S DEAD!"

I wiped away the burning tears and turned to face Kuro and the other guy. "Kuro get out of the ring." The long-necked fucker glared at me.

"You do not tell me what to do, witch," he hissed.

"Get out of the fucking ring!" I screamed. That sent the entire arena into silence again. It was like they didn't know how to react to me. I didn't know how to react to it. But the burning hatred and desire to avenge Shoku for his family's sake was overpowering. It clouded my judgement and all I saw was red. Kuro glared but reluctantly left the ring.

One-Eyed Guy grinned savagely. He lunged at me, hand outstretched. In that split second I drew my dagger and his hand fell to the ground, his wrist pouring out blood. I wanted to kill the one-eyed guy for what he'd done. It terrified me. He wouldn't let me leave this ring alive, and I sure as hell wasn't letting him leave breathing. That wasn't stopping him, however. He just kept going.

We went hard at each other, trading blows. My lungs burned from the smoke demon, the anger and and the sorrow. Everything became a blur of red and flashes of silver.

When I was done, he didn't have arms.

"I thought you were against violence," the one-eyed demon choked out, struggling to stay up.. "We were all counting on you being a weak bitch!"

"You killed the father of a little girl, and threw her and his wife to hell," I snapped. "You killed my friend. I don't like violence, but someone has to avenge him." And I hated myself for it. It was him or me, and in this fight, it had to be him. As I looked at him, I realized what I'd done. How awful I was for it. The violence and the anger that I'd feared in this tournament was inside me. The demon I'd dismembered, the one who murdered Shoku and who would die by my hand stared at me in fear. I realized that I had the violence and murder in me that the demons trying to kill me had, and I hated myself. I was a monster.

I drove the blade of my dagger through his head, turning my head so I wouldn't have to watch the life fade from another demon.. Hopefully the angle was right to severe his spinal cord. When I pulled the dagger out his body fell to the ground.

Koto came and lifted my hand, declaring me the winner. I ripped my arm from her, walking over to Shoku's lifeless body. His eyes were still wide open, beginning to cloud over. I slid them shut, tears starting to bubble up again. I bent down, and taking a deep breath, I said a prayer for him. My grandmother hadn't been religious, and neither was I, but when someone died you made wishes for them and their family.

I took a deep breath, and with shaky Scottish, I said all I could. "May your spirit find peace in the afterlife. May you watch over your loved ones with joy and satisfaction, granting them safety. May your family know of your heroics, and may your daughter remember every moment she shared with you. May you lend us your strength and gentleness as we move on in this life. When you loved ones move on, may you be there to welcome them back to you with open arms." My voice cracked, tears falling with my last words. "Goodbye, Shoku..." I wiped away the burning tears and pressed a kiss to his forehead. I rose to my feet, and looked to Koto. She and the entire arena were silent. It was nice to give us all a chance to mourn the good friend that had died so horribly.

"What do you do with the bodies?" I asked Koto, voice still quiet. I was exhausted. My magic and the fights had taken a lot out of me, but the emotional exhaustion was taking it's toll.

"Um, we burn them. Why?" she asked.

"His family should at least have something to bury, don't you think?" I asked. My voice was dead and monotonous. I hardly recognized it as my voice. Koto was just staring at me with pitying eyes. Damon jumped into the ring, putting an arm around my shoulder and tried to lead me out. I shrugged him off. "Just… please make sure you get him remains… I just can't be here…"

I ran out of the arena and straight to the hotel. I just wanted to mourn, but I had to get the blood off me. It felt like it was burning. I scrubbed the blood from my skin. I finally felt sympathy for Lady Macbeth. The blood didn't just stain the skin. It stained my soul. Forcing myself to stop scrubbing my raw skin and get dressed in solemn black, I went to the only place on this island I thought I could feel safe.

* * *

The sun beat down on the island. Another beautiful day to go with shitty events. There was a reason that I loved rain. The weather was gloomy enough that nothing bad ever happened. Weather just never seemed to work with what was going on in the real world.

I went to the forest to do what I always did after a death in my family. When my parents had died, I sat in the forest and just felt the world for hours. It was the only thing that helped. The technical term was grounding. I just pushed the negativity into the world and let the good energy fill me up. It was way easier to do at home with my plants. I knew them, they knew me and it made everything better.

There was a large tree oak tree that I picked to sit under. My back was pressed up against the trunk, hands pressed into the dirt by the roots. Tears stung my eyes. I didn't even try to stop them. Trees couldn't judge you for crying. They just kept putting out their comforting energy. I had never been good at sensing demon energy, but plants and I had always had good relationships.

Shoku was gone. He was gone. If I hadn't dodged that goddamn blast, if Kuro hadn't pulled me into it's trajectory, Shoku would still be alive. He wouldn't be gone. Sayuri would still have her father, Kimiko would still have her husband.

All they would have was a pile of ashes. Not a father to go back to, not a husband to love. Just a pile of ashes.

And I'd killed the demon that'd done it. I was a horrible person. The level of anger that I had… I didn't feel any regret for what I'd done in the moment. I thought it was what had to be done. Afterwards, though, I regretted it. I was scared of it. That violence was never something I wanted to be capable of.

I hated myself for it.

My chest heaved as I sobbed. Fear of myself and the loss of Shoku were ripping through my chest, the loss heavy in my heart. The negativity was pushed into the forest around me, and even with all the calm coming back, I was still hollow.

"If you're going to do that could you keep it down?" I jumped. A low, kind of rough voice came through the trees above me. It was coming from a tree just to the left of me, and sitting there was a member of the Urameshi team. I had no idea what his name was. The red-eyed demon with the spiked black hair. The one who felt like he had an entire other creature crawling beneath his skin.

I got a better look at him from where I was sitting. We were only a few feet apart, and his eyes were boring holes into me. The slight bags under his eyes were complimented by disgust and the slightest hint of curiosity. Bandages were wrapped around his arm and forehead. I wasn't sure what he was doing just chilling in the forest, but there he was, looking both extremely gorgeous and black clothes he wore paired with the relaxed yet alert body language pointed to his apparent prowess in battle. Constant vigilance.

"Sorry, I'll try to keep my mourning quiet for you," I spat out, glaring daggers at him.

There was brief silence. "He was a good fighter. I was looking forward to fighting him myself." The voice was still harsh, even with what felt like condolences.

"He was. But he was more than that." Tears threatened to fall as my voice broke. "He had a daughter, you know. She's only 5. They're probably going to kill her after this."

"Not my problem." I sighed, pulling my knees tighter to my chest. His bitter words weren't helping. Shoku was so much more than a fighter and no one on this island except for our team was ever going to understand that.

I looked back to the guy in the tree. "You're part of Team Urameshi, right?" I asked. He opened one eye, nodded, and closed it again. "So there's no way in hell we're going to beat you, is there?" A light smirk crossed his face. I knew that look. Damon had it on occasion. It was the obviously-I'm-going-to-kick-your-ass look. This guy wore it better than Damon ever had. "You're wasting your time then. Ame told me your goal was to get us out mostly alive. If we don't win, we die."

"Not going to happen, onna," he stated. Everything seemed to be fact with him. The self confidence was almost intimidating. But he was wrong. It just kept getting deeper and deeper that if we lost, we would die.

Blue light started to filter down through the trees. We were silent for a few moments. He didn't seem the type to offer any more information. When asked, he gave minimal answers. After his opening remarks of asking me to shut up and his comment on Shoku, he'd only answered what I'd asked.

So I asked what had been in the back of my mind since I realized how awful that island was.

"Were you born in the Makai?" I asked. "Damon told me a lot of demons are."

"I was."

"Is it as violent as this tournament?"

"It can be."

I nodded, letting myself sink into the tree trunk. "I guess that makes sense. No one I know really gets what's going on with me. Like, sure, humans can be awful. We're violent and homicidal and there have been so many genocide attempts it's appalling. Well, one genocide is appalling, but you know what I mean. But not all of us are exposed to it, you know? Not like this. You don't expect to be pushed into situations like this." You don't expect to be forced to kill.

The guy looked down at me. "A human that knows the truth of her own kind? Interesting."

I shrugged. "It's true. We're not always good. We have our good qualities and shit, like we're creative, and innovative and when it really comes down to it we do a lot of good for others. But I guess deep down we're all capable of that kind of violence…" I trailed off. My eyes met the ground. I was capable of that kind of violence and it terrified me.

"Learn to live with it," he snapped. I looked up at him, nodding to myself. He was harsh, but he wasn't wrong.

"I guess I'll have to…" We went silent for a few moments. He had brought up a lot of good points. Just things I didn't want to think about. I was going to have to live with what I was doing. It wasn't a choice. It was survive or die. And as odd as it sounded, this demon had given me a new purpose to win this tournament.

Shoku was dead. There as no one to protect his family. I was still alive. If we won, we all got one wish. If we won, I could protect them. Kimiko and Sayuri would be safe. I would make sure they were.

Without my realizing, the energy of the area had completely changed. His energy felt... warm and inviting. A warm blanket had been wrapped around me just by being close to him. I couldn't put my finger on why it was so nice, but it was. Something about this abrasive demon made me feel safe. If his energy was an inferno, I was safe in the heart of it, protected and warm.

I didn't want to break the silence to ask for his name, but I figured Damon would know. I'd ask him later.

Ten minutes of silence and the warm blanket of heat around me left. I hadn't heard him leave, but I could feel it. As slowly as the warmth had come, it was replaced by a hollow ache in my chest. The warmth had helped the hole Shoku had left. But without it the pain came back.

Everything just hurt.

The cold just set deep into my bones. When I got up my limbs were stiff and numb. On wobbly legs I made my way back to the hotel.

Damon and Takuma were sitting in the room when I got there. Both shot to their feet when I walked in. I tried to smile, but I knew it didn't reach my eyes. Neither of them should've been standing after the fights we had today. Takuma reached out to me, hand going for my shoulder. I moved back, shaking my head. I didn't want to be comforted right now.

I didn't deserve to be comforted.

I thought I was good at dealing with death, but I wasn't. Shoku had been like a father to Damon and I during this tournament, just sliding into the spot of a caring old dude that loved to show us pictures of his kids. He was the rock of the team, both literally and figuratively. His death weighed on me, and it wasn't going to leave. Someone was going to have to tell his family what happened. It was likely going to be me.

* * *

As we tried to sleep after the days losses, I looked over at where Damon slept. "Damon are you awake?" I asked into the darkness of the room.

"Yeah. Why?" His voice sounded different. This wasn't the happy Damon that I knew and loved. The sadness flowed through him and into his barely whispered voice.

"Can I sleep with you?" I muttered. It was pathetic to ask, but I needed a hug and I sure as hell wasn't going to get it from Takuma. Damon at least understood how upset I was over this.

"Sure. Come on in." In seconds, I was out of my bed and crawling into his. I was immediately comforted by the warmth of my friend. Sleeping next to someone typically helped my nightmares, and I had spent a few nights in bed with my best friend back in Canada. Just having someone to snuggle helped a lot. After what had happened today, the nightmares were sure to come. I wasn't even sure that Damon could cure them, but I had to try.

He and I laid there in silence for a few minutes, before he finally spoke up. "Where did you go after the match?"

"I just needed some time… The forest felt safe. You know how I am with plants," I muttered. "I met one of the Urameshi guys though."

"Which one?"

"Demon with red eyes."

"Ah, you met Hiei," Damon whispered. "He's a fire demon, totally hated humans until he met Urameshi from what I heard. Kind of a jackass."

I nodded into his chest. "Yeah, I kinda got that."

"What did he say to you?"

"Not much…" It wasn't a lie. He'd answered my questions, but I figured Hiei had hoped it would get me to shut up. They weren't exactly elaborate answers, and anything more than three words had been either biting or sarcastic.

Fire demon… that explained why his energy made me feel so safe, even being demon energy. Once you got past the thing crawling under the surface, it felt like being close to a roaring fire. In my mind, fire was safe. It was the element I typically worked with, the one I felt closest to. Hiei, even though he could kill me in a heartbeat if he really wanted to, made me feel safe. It scared me that I wanted to feel that warmth and safety again.

Damon fell asleep long before I did. I stayed up late into the night, full of regret and dreading the last two rounds of the tournament. We'd made it to the semi-finals. We'd lost a part of our weird little family.

And as I sobbed into Damon's sleeping chest, there was the looming knowledge that contrary to what I'd always believed, I was just as capable of mindless violence as anyone else on the island.

* * *

Well there we go :) I'm sure some of you hate me, and I'm sure some of you hate how I characterized Hiei. Hiei isn't a super stoic asshole in the show, he's a sarcastic bitter asshole that only really talks when it's important or he's making a jab. I personally don't think that having him only say "Hn" then entire story is going to make anyone happy. I'm trying to keep him in character, while still allowing the story to progress. And without Hiei talking at least a bit it won't.

Also, I totally cried writing this chapter. I loved Shoku, I really do, but it was his time.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and please feel free to let me know how you're feeling, or how mad you are at me for what I've done.

(* hey, any authors on here that do a lot of work with the editor, have you noticed crashing a lot? I've been having trouble getting my work to save without the entire site just having a heart attack on me)


	8. Chapter 8: Play With Fire

Hi guys!

I honestly don't have much to say at the beginning of this chapter. Just a thank you for all the support I've been getting. You guys are awesome.

Thank you to ALRose, SliverKitsuneGrlAngel, and The Otome Novelist for following, and thanks to KiraKelsay and Leahcar-Soutaichou for reviewing :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

There was a day break between the third round and the semi-finals. I was thankful for the small break. I needed it. We all needed time to mourn Shoku. We had lost a good friend and a member of our small little family.

Kuro hadn't come back to the room that night. He hadn't been there the few times I'd woken up in the night. Sleeping with Damon hadn't eliminated the nightmares. I just kept waking up to images off Shoku's body. To the blood pooling around the arena floor. To screaming images of his wife and daughter. It was a good thing that Kuro hadn't come back too, because I was about ready to either scream at him or throw him out a window. If I didn't, Damon and Takuma would.

They didn't blame me for Shoku's death. They blamed Kuro.

At 5 am, I went out to the tiny kitchen in our hotel room. The electric kettle they'd put in our room made my life a lot easier, even missing my stove-top one. I made due with what I had. A cup of oolong was relaxing and had the added bonus of keeping me awake. Caffeine was my greatest joy in life, especially in the worst of times.

I looked around the hotel room. The three beds, the L-shaped couch, the big TV. The balcony that none of us had ever gone on for some odd reason. In one bed, Takuma was peacefully sleeping, still black and blue from yesterday's fight. The other beds were empty. Kuro's was slightly mussed, like he'd been here during the night and I'd missed my chance to toss him off that balcony.

My eyes were trying to stay away from Shoku's bed in the corner. I knew that looking at it would just make things worse. I'd expect to see him laying there, everything back to normal. Like he was still here. But he wasn't. I knew that all I would see when I looked at that bed was an empty mattress where a good man should've been sleeping.

I'd see a perfectly made bed. On the small nightstand there would be a picture of Kimiko and Sayuri with Shoku. He held his daughter in one arm and the other wrapped around his wife. They all looked happy. Also on that nightstand was a picture his daughter drew of their family. She was still a child, so it wasn't exactly the best, but it was the thought that counted. Sayuri had drawn her father with a superhero cape, and her mom with a crown.

And it killed me that she was never going to get her hero back.

With a sigh, I went back to the room where Damon slept. If he was up before 11, I'd be impressed. I should have followed suit, but the nightmares were just getting to be too much. No point in sleep if you couldn't stay that way for more than 40 minutes.

I silently got dressed, tugging on black leggings and a matching hoodie. My book of spells was shoved into a little bag, along with a shitton of pens and two little witch balls. I was going to add to my fancy ass notebook of magic.

During these last fights, we were going to need a wild card. I didn't know if I could pull off a spell I'd never done before, but I could at least have a few in reserve for the last minute.

* * *

The hotel was still quiet that early. It was nice. No demons to jeer at me, nothing to try to kill me, just silence. It felt like a liminal. Reality was a little different in hotel lobbies at 5 am. There were always places like that. Gas stations on weird roads in the middle of the night, abandoned houses, empty parking lots, early morning after a fresh snowfall. Most of Japan, if I was being really honest.

Grandma always said that you shouldn't feel safe in spaces like that, but that you should enjoy the little bit of happiness that we all had while in them. I was one of the weird people that felt slightly comforted by them. I knew it was wrong, and everything felt like it wasn't real, and yet somehow it was, but it was part of my life. Liminal spaces were just a fact of my life.

I sat in the restaurant, ordering tea from the human waitress and just sat and worked. The radio played a Florence and the Machines song. What the Water Gave Me. And inspiration hit my like a brick.

I worked on that spell for hours. It wasn't based off the song that I'd heard, but Florence and the Machine had a lot of good songs to work with. Which Witch, Seven Devils, Spectrum. I played her music while I did my magic all the time. There was a playlist for every kind of spell that I did, and she was on almost all of them.

My grandmother had been the one to teach me magic, but we'd always disagreed on composition of spells. She had always hated the idea of basing them off other things. The inspiration had to come from within. Sure, spells like that worked. A lot of my spells were a mix of my own inspiration and what I got from the things around me. Movies, music, books. I'd built spells around Harry Potter spells before, for fucks sake. It didn't make them any less effective. If anything, it gave me strong imagery to go with the spells I made.

Someone sat across from me in the booth. I frowned, looking up. I relaxed a bit when I saw it was Takuma.

"Morning," I greeted.

"Morning. Have you ordered yet?" he asked. I shook my head, pointing at the cup of tea in front of me. He nodded. "Nice. You have to eat eventually, you know."

I shot him a glare. "Gee, I had no idea how the human body worked until you pointed it out to me. What a revelation. And to think I've been going my entire life without your guidance." If he was going to be talkative this morning, the least he could do was not piss me off.

"No need to be a cunt. I'm ordering, and you're going to eat," he snapped. The bat-winged demon flagged down a waitress. "Can we get a menu over here?"

She nodded, handing him two menus. I thanked her knowing Takuma wasn't going to. This warm attitude towards me was new, but he was still an asshole to everyone else.

"Pancakes or waffles?" Takuma asked. I shrugged. I wasn't hungry. I was just trying to keep the events of yesterday out of my mind. A deep sigh came from across from me. "Pancakes it is then. I'm getting bacon too. And if I have to shove it down your throat I will."

Rolling my eyes, I conceded. "Fine. Whatever." Takuma set down the menu, staring at me.

"Look, I know we don't get along. But fuck, he was my friend, too. And I'm yours, whether or not you really believe it. So I'm going to give you some advice." I met his gaze, staring back into his red eyes. His weren't like Hiei's. I couldn't put my finger on what was so different, regardless of the facts that they were almost identical. Maybe Hiei's were darker? "Mourn after the tournament. I get your sad now, but we don't have time to deal with this. You're going to end up dead if you focus on how much you miss him. Focus on getting through this. Hell, focus on his family if that fucking helps you, but don't be a mopey bitch. It's not helping anyone."

A pause covered our table. The waitress came back and Takuma gave her an order a mile long. Part of me hoped he wasn't going to try and make me eat a large part of that. I wasn't sure I could stomach it. His eyes turned back to me, but I kept my gaze on the table.

"You haven't said his name…" I muttered.

"Have you since yesterday?" His question was fair. I didn't think that I had, besides the goodbye. Part of me made me feel like saying it would be really admitting he was gone. And I didn't want to deal with that just yet. I wasn't ready to let go. "Exactly. Just think about what I said."

I was. He was right, that much was obvious. If I didn't get my shit together, we'd be worse off. This wasn't for me anymore. There was nothing I could do for myself. What mattered was that Sayuri and Kimiko were safe. It was the least I could do for Shoku. Hell, if I could've paid for Sayuri's schooling, I would've.

"What are you going to do after this?" I asked.

"After the tournament?" I nodded. Takuma shrugged. "I think I'll go home. Back to the Makai. The human world causes too many problems for me."

I smiled. "Do you have family there to get back to?"

"No, just a simple life, before I came here to feed" he explained. "I might go to work for one of the lords. There's room for growth there."

My eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Lords?"

"Damon never explained this to you?" I shook my head. "Ok, well, there have always been lords of the Makai, they rule over the three territories on the highest level. Gandara, Alaric, and Tourin. The leader of Team Urameshi rules Tourin, Mukuro rules Alaric, and Yomi rules Gandara. There's a king that rules over everything, Enki, and that's decided by a competition like this. Urameshi instated it. Human government with fists."

"Sounds fucked," I stated. "It's nice that one of the territories is Gondor though, I'll always remember that."

"Gandara."

"Yes, that's what I said," I agreed. "Gondor."

"I hope you never go to the Makai. You'll get killed at the rate you're going." He smiled at me. It was rare that I actually got some emotion from him, but it was nice to know he was capable of it. "Either way, everyone on Team Urameshi is affiliated with a territory except for the human. He's with you and the Reikai." I assumed by that he meant with the humans. I still hoped that I counted as one.

"So… Hiei and Kurama are with a Lord?"

Takuma nodded. "Kurama is with Yomi, though I don't know if they've actually been working together recently. Hiei is with Mukuro. Those two I know are close. He's the heir to the title."

"I thought democracy was the way it operated."

"Democracy by fists, whoever hits the hardest wins."

I stared at him. "So, not democracy. A society built like a wrestling tournament."

He nodded, agreeing. "Technically, sure." After that, the food came and the two of us went silent. I picked at my food a bit, just taking the occasional bite. Takuma had given me a lot to think about. He and that Hiei guy both had the same kind of perspective, though Takuma was more upfront about it.

Push through what's happening and be sad about it later. Learn to live with what I'm being forced to do. Without knowing, they had both pushed me to the conclusion I had made, though it wasn't what they intended. This fight wasn't for me anymore. It had started out as self-defense, fighting to keep myself alive. Now I was fighting for Shoku's family, the people he had died fighting for. I blamed myself for his death and I was going to at least try to continue what he had been working towards. Not a damn thing was going to stop me.

* * *

The next morning, we were getting ready for the fight. No one had seen Kuro since the last fight. We weren't even sure if he was going to show up for the semifinals. Damon and Takuma were about ready to kill him, the only thing stopping them was the need for a full team in the finals. Kuro had barely done a thing the entire tournament, the only perk to his existence being the slight edge he could give us in the end.

I'll admit I lacked confidence, but it didn't matter. I was fighting for more than just myself and I wasn't going to lose. I couldn't afford to lose.

Something struck me as we prepared to go down to the new arena. "Can we even fight without…?" I trailed off. I still wasn't ready to be saying his name. Shoku was gone, but somehow I felt like saying his name would be accepting it.

Damon looked at me with sad eyes before nodding. "Yeah. I tracked down Koto yesterday. We only need another for the finals, and we can get a guy if we need too. We don't have to worry about that until after this fight."

I nodded. Replacing Shoku wasn't something I wanted to do, but we had to. I was just glad we had time. Time was something we all needed.

We waited in the locker room thing of the new arena. It wasn't exactly a locker room, but that was a better description than "room-we-wait-to-die-in." Well, a less morbid description. Both technically worked. I nursed a can of Monster in my hands, doing my best to keep all the caffeine possible flowing to my brain. Sleep hadn't come easy, and there was no time to recuperate. I just had to stay awake.

Our names came over the intercom, and we left for the ring. Kuro still hadn't shown up. Until we walked through the doors. He slipped in behind us, creepy and lurking. Damon and Takuma shot him looks that could kill. I just tried to ignore him.

Opposite us in the arena were some of the last people I expected to see. Not Team Urameshi, though that would be terrifying. It was the redhead that I'd spoken with. I'd never gotten his name but there he was, across from me and grinning like a kid in an arcade.

Then entire team looked relatively normal, which I found off. There was the red-head guy, who had his little horn but otherwise just looked happy to be here. There were three blue haired men, one short, one tall and totally hammered, and one who's expression clearly said that in his mind he was better than the rest of us. A blond guy was a little behind everyone else, looking around with this face. It was clear he thought everyone was cheering for him and he was eating it up.

The redhead immediately bounced up to the ring, standing next to Koto. I followed suit, shooting him a tight-lipped smile.

"Don't worry, lass, we're not gonna hurt you," the guy said. He still looked too happy.

"Don't lie to me," I muttered. Koto looked between us.

"As cute as this is, can we please decide the terms of the match?" she demanded.

The guy smiled at us. "Of course. Thinking one to one to one, til I'm a tower on my feet holding a five." I stared at him. Did that honestly make sense to me? Fuck, my grandfather prepared me for this guy's fucking accent.

"So… series of one on one, who ever wins has to keep fighting, 5 wins takes it home?" I asked, clarifying. The redhead nodded grinning. I looked back to Damon, who nodded. "Alright, then."

Koto piped up, "The teams have decided a series of one on one matches with 5 wins taking the match!"

Damon traded places with me and the blond went up for the other team. I felt like he just really needed to beat the shit out of someone, and since it couldn't be Kuro, the blond was going to be in some serious trouble.

"The first match of the semi-finals is Damon versus Suzuka!" The blond coughed at Koto's words. "The beautiful Suzuka…" she muttered. The blond nodded in satisfaction. What the fuck? It was like they knew each other. He was so full of himself it made Damon look normal.

Damon stared between Koto and Suzuka. "That's bullshit, man, I'm way hotter than he is," he demanded. I rolled my eyes. Maybe Damon would never be normal.

"How dare you!" Suzuka exclaimed. "I am Suzuka, the man of a thousand faces and a thousand tricks, and I- "

"Am full of shit," Damon finished. "Yes, that's perfectly clear, no need to lay it out for the group. Can I kick his ass now? I got a lot of pent up anger." Koto just nodded. "Perfect." Damon immediately clocked the guy in the face.

I flinched. It was really sad that he was getting his ass kicked. All the self-confidence in the world couldn't help him when Damon was as angry as he was. This guy was just someone for Damon to hit. Suzuka's attempts to hit back were dwarfed by the pure anger coming from my best friend. He couldn't hit Kuro, so Suzuka's face was going to look like the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse.

The match didn't even hit the three minute mark.

"And the winner is Damon!" Koto announced, glaring down at Suzuka's beaten form. "Thank god…" I had to hold back a laugh at that. Wherever they'd met before, Koto definitely did not like Suzuka. He was cute, but I wasn't sure I could blame her.

The next person to step up to the plate was one of the blue-haired guys. He was dressed like a temple priest, with a sword at his hip. When he stepped into the ring the entire female population of the crowd lost their shit. Damon and I had similar reactions.

That is, we looked around like two kids who'd somehow gotten to an NSYNC concert instead of the Motely Crue one.

I looked over to Takuma. "Why is everyone freaking out? It's not like he's someone cool. Like Florence and the Machines, or AC/DC."

"He's pretty and that's enough for most of these women. Helps that he's fucking strong. I remember him from the Makai tournament. Tricky bastard…"

"Is Damon gonna be ok?"

The bat demon shrugged. "Who knows? This guy and Jin are the two I'm scared of, to be honest. All of them are really fucking strong, even Suzuka."

"Then how did Damon blow past him?"

"I have a theory…" Takuma's eyes were glued to the match as it began. "I'll let you know if I'm right." We both went silent after that. There was nothing we could do but watch.

I caught the opponents name as Koto did her annoying commentary. Shishiwakamaru. Sounded to me like he escaped some boyband, and the girls screaming for him just confirmed that. I rolled my eyes. I already hated this guy. Maybe I'd hate him less if I got to know him, but so far I wasn't a fan.

Shishiwakamaru drew his sword, slashing at Damon. Damon dodged, jumping around the arena. The two fought hard. Damon wasn't one for weapons, he stuck with his standard little blasts of energy. I don't know how he was feeding on this island, but I guess I a lot of people were having sex dreams on the island. Or boning.

Guess it was that last hurrah kind of thing. I should've considered losing my virginity while on the island, but at the same time it wasn't something I really wanted to give up on what was basically my deathbed. Probably not a good choice just in case I made it out of this alive. Didn't need another regret added to my list.

Everything in the ring changed when Shishiwakamaru pulled out a giant sheet of gauze. Takuma and I exchanged confused glances. Was this guy planning on making a wedding dress or something? His fangirls would be about that, but the dress wouldn't hold up very well. Even Damon started laughing at him. Shishiwakamaru just smirked.

With one swipe of the giant piece of fabric, Damon had disappeared.

"Takuma…" I asked, jaw on the floor. "Where did Damon go?"

"The gauze is a portal. We're fucked. I'll go next. You have any of that fire starting shit?" Takuma asked.

"If you mean a lighter, yes." I pulled one out of my little hip bag. "But I'm not sure that'll work on this guy." Takuma shrugged.

"Worth a shot." A growl came from deep in his chest. "That fucker…" Kuro was in the center of the ring, long neck and creepy face watching Shishiwakamaru's every move. I glared at the ring. Takuma and I had bonded over Shoku, and the three of us who were actually a team were not having Kuro's shit. Damon and Takuma didn't want him to fight, period. If they had their way, he would be dead.

I was just mad he was going to take this fight. After what he'd done yesterday I didn't trust him at fucking all.

"Alright! This is Kuro versus Shishiwakamaru!" Koto exclaimed.

The fight began and lasted almost as long Suzuka had against Damon. Kuro was enveloped by the gauze and was gone. Kuro hadn't even moved, not that he'd really had a chance to do anything. It was odd, however, that he hadn't. Kuro could fight, as much as I hated him. He'd lost so quickly.

Takuma growled. "That bastard!" I shot him a confused look. "He fucking threw the fight. You've seen him fight, Finley. He just stood there. He's actually trying to sabotage us."

I stared at the arena in horror. We were fucked. This Shishi asshole was going to rinse our team. He'd already gotten rid of Damon and Kuro. Now there were four members of their team left, and there were only two of us. I glanced at the other team as Takuma stepped up to the arena.

The blue-haired drunk with the bitching mohawk was bent over retching onto the arena floor.

Ok, so they had 3 members left, because that guy needed some water and a long nap. Still not good odds.

Takuma spoke up, projecting his voice a little so I could hear. "Wanna tell me what happened to my team?"

Shishiwakamaru just laughed. "They went through the Cape of No Return. I have no idea where they went. Let's hope it's in this dimension, shall we?" I bit my lip, clenching my fists. They could be anywhere. Damon could be literally anywhere. "I sense that you're anxious for a real fight, however. I can hardly say no to a fan."

"Not a fan, jackass," Takuma growled, fangs bared. The two launched at each other. Shishiwakamaru became an entirely different fighter. With Damon and Kuro, it was like he was just trying to get them out of the ring. Up against Takuma, it was like it had suddenly gotten personal. Takuma hadn't said they knew each other, but I was pretty sure they didn't.

Not that I knew Takuma well, in all honesty. I'd thought him to be a stoic jackass, but here he was becoming a friend to me.

Shishiwakamaru drew his sword, smirking. Then it extended, and screams started to tear through the stadium. It was coming from the sword. Along the extended hilt were ghostly faces twisted in agony. I stared at it, mouth open. I gripped the charm around my neck.

Making things out of iron and silver were just the ways of a witch. Better protection when you had two things that ghosts really fucking hated. An iron charm on a silver chain wasn't exactly pretty, but looking at something like that sword I'd take what I could get.

Hell, I'd start screaming Hail Mary if that would help.

Takuma glared at his opponent. "I know of the Banshee Shriek, it's not as bad as you make it out to be," He growled. Shishiwakamaru just laughed.

"Then have a taste of the Chorus of Ten Thousand Skulls!" he yelled. He started spinning the sword above his head, the blade glowing a bright red. It started screaming even louder. People in the crowd started dropping like flies. Fuck. The sword was killing people froma distance. How was Takuma even surviving this? How was I? A blinding pain shot through the back of my skull. Every migraine I'd banished was coming back to haunt me.

Shishiwakamaru just laughed. He slammed the sword into the ground and a wave of dread washed over me. I didn't know what was happening, but it was giving me the wiggins. Souls started popping out of the sword, escaping all over the arena. The went after the demons in the crowd. I pulled two iron nails out of my bag with some string and bound them together in a cross, holding it up in front of me. Souls that came to me just poofed out of existence the second they hit it.

Iron, good for fae and the souls of the damned.

"TAKUMA USE THE CHARM!" I yelled as more souls started to converge on him. He gave me a weird look, but grabbed the charm hanging from his neck. He batted away the ghosts with it, and each disappeared. Takuma glanced at me in shock.

"What the fuck is this thing made of?" he yelled.

"Iron!" I cheered.

Takuma nodded, and steered into ghosts, batting each one away. Shishiwakamaru started slashing at him. I was kind of terrified. My teammate wasn't backing down. As the ghosts were attacking the audience, he attacked their creator.

It was times like this I remembered how badass Takuma was, and why I had been so terrified of him. Shishiwakamaru was getting pushed back and there was no stopping Takuma. I held my breath. Blow after blow was thrown at Shishiwakamaru, and he wasn't getting the chance to get a solid hit.

He'd gotten roughed up, but Takuma was just going all in. He was willing to get stabbed to do more damage to the other guy. Shishiwakamaru flew out of the arena, sword knocked to the side. Takuma had won. I was thrilled. Our team was missing two members, but if Takuma could get through a few more we might survive this nightmare.

The next fighter stepped up. It was the shorter blue-haired one. He was far calmer than the first two had been, only his calm demeanor was real. Shishiwakamaru had seemed calm until he was insulted. This guy was as quiet and respectful as a boy his age got. Well, I was assuming he was around 20. Then again, all of the demons looked younger than they were. Dude could've lived for millennia and I would be none the wiser. At least they were all helped by my closest reference for a 20-something boy being Damon. Damon had the distinct ability to be as immature as possible and then turn around to discuss classical literature. He was as confusing as people got.

Koto raised her hands to start the fight. "Takuma versus Touya! Begin!" Touya nodded to Takuma before launching attacks at him. I was impressed at his attack. He was throwing ice shards at Takuma. I mean, he'd get sent to the Principal's office if he did that back home, but still. I could appreciate the good old-fashioned snowball fight.

Takuma, on the other hand, was not doing well. He was bleeding hard, and the few slashes had gotten close to his vital points. A strangled gasp escaped him as a shard shot through the webbing in his wing. There was no way he could fly now, not that he ever did during this entire tournament. It was odd, but I wasn't going to question it. Takuma did what he did.

Touya made a sword of ice around his right arm. That was the downfall for Takuma. He'd had enough of swords for the day. It didn't help that he'd fought twice in a row and he was tired and bloody. He was doing well, but I was scared.

I couldn't take the last three myself.

With a glint of the ice sword and a flash of red, Takuma fell to the ground. The cut along his chest was bleeding heavily, and there was no way he could get up.

Something surprised me. Even with the ten-count, Touya didn't try to kill Takuma. He just waited it out a few feet away. I didn't understand why. I thought they were out to kill us.

I went to pull Takuma out of the arena. Then, oddly enough, Damon entered the stadium. I stared at him, Takuma's blood coating my side. We looked a wreck, but it was nice to see him back. Damon took him from me, taking the weight.

"What the fuck happened while I was gone?" Damon demanded. "Also, you kicked that guy's ass, right?"

"You missed a whole lot of bullshit," I snapped. "And yes, yes he did. Where the fuck did you go?"

"That stupid cape thing sent me all the way to the other side of the island," he groaned. "Kuro got sent there, too. Don't expect him to come back any time soon." I choked out a bitter laugh. It didn't matter, really. I was up against three demons, all of which could kick my ass. Now a bunch of my team was out and I felt utterly alone.

Koto looked at all of us, an almost pitying look in her eyes. "Um, Finley, we kind of have to get on with this if you're ready."

I nodded, shooting her a weak smile. "Yeah, sorry. Damon, please take care of him." With that I turned my back on my team and hopped into the arena.

Touya smiled at me, calm and polite. "It's a pleasure to go against you. Your strength is admirable." I pressed my lips together, forcing myself to give him a smile. "You have nothing to fear, it is not our intent to hurt you."

"I'll tell you what I told Jin. Don't lie to me," I whispered.

"Finley versus Touya! Begin!" I had to immediately dodge a barrage of ice shards. Seriously, not the proper way to snowball fight. As a Canadian I was honestly insulted. Then, the entire ring froze over. I looked around. Icicles were on every surface, and the floor of the arena was coated in a light sheet of ice and snow. He could change the environment. Great.

Touya reformed the ice sword around his forearm, and launched at me. I slid instead of dodging properly, skidding around the arena. Swirling around, I managed to keep myself from flying off the edge of the ring. I barely slipped back to my feet. Touya came at me again, but this time I stayed on my feet as I slid.

A new resolve hit me. Though rather than being a moral one, it was a matter of civic duty. I was a goddamn Canadian. I was born in the cold. If this ice dude kicked my ass I was a shame to my country. We didn't get our ass kicked by winter. We kicked winter's ass and then gave it a can of Molson.

"You have impressive balance," Touya complimented. "It's a shame it won't help you for long."

"Listen here, you polite frozen son of a bitch," I hissed. "I am Canadian. I was born in the ice. And so help me god, I am not going to let you of all people beat me."

He looked almost offended. "Me of all people?"

"An ice demon," I said. "You are so not going to take away my Canadian pride!" It was sad that I knew a lot of people who's pride was stronger than mine. It got worse living with an American, honestly. Damon kept trying to say that the Red Sox were better than the Blue Jays, and I wasn't sure he was wrong, but I had to have some love for them. They were all we had.

I grabbed a little jar of salt and a bottle of chili powder from my bag. I went by boy scout rules. Just be prepared for everything. It was going to be good enough to make fire. Also Canadian weather had prepped me for this. Salt meant melting snow and at least a little grip. I'd have to make due without gravel.

The plan that formed in my head wasn't a very good one. I was going to surround Touya in a ring of fire. If I had him trapped in fire, he couldn't do jack shit. Ice and fire didn't work. I had to give myself the upper hand.

I skated around the ring, dumping the chili powder and salt as I went. The chili powder was meant for fire spells, for adding heat. Magic always used associations. It was good that most people here didn't know what those associations were.

Touya didn't know what was going on until I pictured a match and snapped my fingers. A giant ring of fire surrounded us, blazing about 7 feet high. It was draining, but it wouldn't take me long to get Touya down. His energy wasn't enough to keep his cold weather thing going. It was going to work. It had to.

The ice demon smiled at me. "I'm impressed. I didn't realize you were capable of something this extravagant."

"Looks like I got a lot of surprises for you, buddy," I said with a smirk. The two of us went for each other, resorting to fists. He'd figured out that the ice shards would be useless at this point. I managed to back him into the ring of fire, knocking him right through it.

I let the fire drop, breathing hard. It had been hard to keep up that fire wall, but it had been worth it. One guy down, two more to go.

Touya was laying flat on his back for the entire count. He didn't even try to get up. I thought it was odd, but there was nothing I wanted to do about it. If he was faking it, I didn't have the time to be super polite.

I couldn't risk it.

Regardless, when the count was over, I extended a hand to Touya and helped him up. He took it gratefully.

"You hit harder than you look," He joked. "It was a good fight."

"It was," I said with a weak smile. "But seriously, don't snowball fight like that. That shit will get you a one-way to recess inside and you don't want that." He gave me a confused look, but still smiled. Did demons not have elementary school?

Probably not.

Touya got off the platform, and who was to replace him but the drunk. I stared at him, confused. He was staggering around the arena. Koto and I shared a skeptical glance. I carefully approached the mohawked man, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, man, I think you need to lie down- ah!" The guy faceplanted into my chest, knocking me over. From the sidelines I could hear Damon howling in laughter. The stench of a night of drinking surrounded me. I hated the smell. It reminded me of the University bars. It sucked.

The slurred, thick accent that came from the man with his head in my chest made my skin crawl. "Aw Sheila, you chest is fantastic! I could jut take a nap right here…" A loud snore came from the guy, along with a gurgle. I knew that sound. As fast as I could, I shoved him off me. He spewed harsh alcoholic vomit all over the ring. I looked from the drunk to Koto.

The guy waved his hand, stumbling to his feet and wiping the vomit away from his mouth. "I got this. Start the match, foxy!"

"Um… Chu versus Finley! Begin!" Koto exclaimed. "I don't think this one is going to last very long." That made me feel a little better. Cause there was no way in hell this guy was going to be able to even throw a punch.

That did not stop him from trying.

He launched a shaky punch at me that was easily dodged. Chu fell flat on his face and just laid there, ass in the air. I looked at Koto. "Um, I don't feel good about hitting him. Like, can he even consent to a fight right now?"

Koto shrugged. "He's in the ring. I'll just start the count, this is embarrassing." Chu didn't get up. I was pretty sure he was asleep. Drunken fist was a style of fighting that I'd heard of, but if that's what this guy was doing he'd gone too far into the "drunken" part of it.

As his team removed him from the ring, something hit me. These guys weren't even trying. This team was crazy strong. Anyone could tell that from their energy. But we were still winning. We shouldn't have been winning. These guy should have been kicking our asses into next year. Hell, Shishiwakamaru had been. But they weren't actively trying to hurt us. The only one who had gotten hurt was Takuma, and even then, that wasn't anything that could seriously injure him. Just enough to take him out.

The redhead and Touya hadn't been lying. They weren't trying to hurt us.

We'd won four matches. This last one was going to be the last win we needed. Did it really matter that much though? They weren't trying. They were letting us win, while making it a show for everyone in the crowd. But why would they do that? Why let us win?

As the redhead stepped up, I took a deep breath. I didn't know why they were going easy on us, but I was damn well going to find out.

* * *

Well, that's this chapter. I'll be perfectly honest, this was tough for me to get through. I love writing this; this chapter just didn't want to go for me. It was both hard to write after Shoku and a necessary realization for Finley that was hard for me to get through. I'm sure to some it feels like this is dragging on in the tournament, but we're already to the semi-finals. It'll be over soon and it will be a wild ride.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to leave any comments and reviews. Have a great day guys :)


	9. Chapter 9: The Reckless and the Brave

Hi, guys!

I would like to apologize for missing last week's update. As I mentioned, I am in university and last week I had a bunch of papers and final projects to deal with and they had to come first. It was also my birthday this Thursday, which made it a little more hectic. I may miss an update during finals (as I have three within two days) but after that I will be doing my best not to miss anymore. School just has to come first as I'm sure many of you can understand.

Anyways, I would like to thank you guys for the response I'm getting to the story so far. I really appreciate it. I would like to thank Leachcar-Soutaichou destinyswindow, and Sweet Sprinks for reviewing; jsgriggs89 and Diyingheart55 for following; and Silvire808 for favouriting.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

The red-head guy smiled at me, standing only a few feet away from me in the arena. "I'm happy I finally get to fight you. Shame I have to though, hate to hurt a pretty face like that." I glared at him and his face switched to one of confusion. "That's a deadly look, what'd I do for it?"

"I know what you're doing," I muttered, trying to keep Koto from hearing it. "And I want to know why." He just shot me a lazy grin.

"After this is over I promise I'll explain everything," he swore. Nails dug into my palms. This was just further proof that this was bullshit. I wasn't sure why they were letting us win. Maybe they had to let us get to the end. The redhead had said he was friends with Urameshi, it was plausible.

Hiei had made it clear that we weren't going to win. And we had to win.

Koto started the match, "Finley versus Jin! Begin!" Immediately Jin shot up into the air, flying high above the arena. The stadium was open to the sky. Jin became less than a speck to me. If the demons in the stands were a blur to me, Jin didn't even exist in my vision. Damn nearsightedness.

I cursed. "Can he even do that?" I asked Koto. "He's not technically in the arena anymore."

"He has to be touching a solid surface outside the ring. Air isn't solid." I huffed, glaring at the sky. I didn't need the basic science from Koto, but now I had to figure out a way to get Jin back down. I'd released the storm during the first fight, so I couldn't use that anymore. Summoning a storm out of nothing would be too draining, and I was already running low. A lack of sleep and a giant wall of fire sucking your energy away wasn't the way to start a fight.

There was one thing, though. I wasn't sure it would work. Jin seemed to be a wind demon or something, and it could just hardcore backfire on me. But it didn't use any energy. It was something I'd done as a kid without even realizing it was magic. It was like asking for help, the universe did it on it's own. Not good for situations like this, but when someone's crops needed watering you bet your ass it was good enough.;

I let out a low whistle, feeling the air around me. The currents started to change slightly, and I raised the pitch sharply. A loud sharp whistle was followed from the wind. The clouds above started to move faster, and I couldn't see what was happening, but I hoped Jin was getting jostled at least a little bit. Thank god I had my hair up, too. Little pieces of my fading blue hair were escaping into my vision and I didn't need anything impairing me further. I never got to wear my glasses on this island and it sucked. There was a reason my long distance was more than questionable.

Jin came back down, floating just above the ring. He smiled wide at me. "Well, I didn't expect ya to be using my own wind against me, I'll give you that."

"I just wanted you back down here. Can't hit you if you've got 30 feet on me," I said with a smirk. It was true, though. He had a foot on me standing normally, shooting up into the air just made me feel more inadequate that I already did.

"You're a funny one," Jin laughed. "This'll be a real fun fight, I think."

I glared at him. This wasn't meant to be fun. It was serious. If I lost, we were fucked. And we were constantly coming down to the wire on a lot of these fights. I couldn't afford to think this was fun. JIn just shook his head.

"You're gonna have a bad time if you can't enjoy a fight, you know," he stated.

"Yeah, well this isn't something I ever want to enjoy," I muttered. He just sighed and shook his head, before running at me. There was a rush of wind, and I hit the deck. Jin was too fast, I couldn't even try to hit him if he was flying. Hell, I probably couldn't hit him if he stood still.

I wasn't sure how I was going to win.

Jin started rolling his arm, wind building up around it. "Time for the Tornado Fist!" I stared at that in shock. I was going to get hit by that. Which terrified me. He flew at me, fist pulled back.

My split second reaction was a bad one, and I had a lot of regrets. It was becoming the norm for my instincts to turn into regrets shortly after.

"Ifrin!" I screamed, holding my hands out. Fire shot out at Jin, and went straight into his Tornado Fist. I saw his eyes widen briefly before fire filled my field of vision. A gust of wind and heat blew me back, slamming me into the ring walls. Coughing hard as the dust cleared, I looked around for Jin. I couldn't tell where he went. Or if there was anything left of him.

Fuck, I hoped there was something left. More blood on my hands wasn't something I wanted, and he had seemed nice. Even with the fact that he was going easy on us.

I stumbled back into the ring, my legs shaking. My energy was nearly gone. I was going to have to sleep after that. Maybe for a year. Sleep for a year sounded good. My… everything felt fuzzy and out of focus.

Koto spoke up. "Since Jin looks badly burned, and he's not moving, I'm gonna start the count." I looked to the other side of the arena, where Jin was laying on the ground. His clothes were singed, and his arms were covered in burns. I'd done that. "The winner is Finley! Team Conneigan advances to the finals against Team Urameshi!" That sounded happy, but I couldn't feel it. Damon and Takuma were cheering behind me, and the other team smiled politely at me.

I walked back to Damon and Takuma, breathing hard. Damon smiled at me.

"Come on, let's get you back to the hotel room so you can sleep. You look like you're dead on your feet." I was, but I had to get answers. I had to know that Jin was ok. He was far stronger than he had put off, but I'd still hurt him. And he promised me answers. The entire fight was too easy. Way too easy. It was like he hadn't even been trying. You could feel that he was stronger than that, the Tornado fist thing should have killed me.

In truth, I was too tired to argue with him. Damon wasn't going to let me go anywhere but the hotel room, so I'd have to get him to take care of it. I could hardly keep my eyes open.

Damon picked me up, holding me on his back. Takuma was stumbling along next to us. I was asleep before we left the stadium.

* * *

I woke up around 14 hours later. There was a three-day break between the semifinals and the finals, and I'd slept through a good day of it. I really needed it, not that I felt any more rested.

"Morning, sleeping beauty," Damon greeted, coming into our room with a steaming cup. I took it from him gratefully. "Nice to know you're actually awake this time."

"Did I wake up before?"

He nodded, sitting on the bed next to me. "You kept screaming and freaking the fuck out. You fell out of bed a few times. I have no idea how you didn't wake up through that. Probably used too much energy or something."

"Fuck…" I looked into the steaming cup of tea, blowing on it lightly.

"Remember any of it?" I shook my head. It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that. I hadn't had nightmares of drowning for a while, but to be fair to myself, I hadn't had this much water around in a long time. Or in such a destructive way. The details of this nightmare didn't need to be given, and ignoring it was probably the safest way to deal.

At least until the tournament was over. Then I could have all the neurotic breaks I wanted.

I tossed my feet over the edge of my bed, and pushed out. Damon, bless his soul, had washed off the blood from me and changed me into a large black tee-shirt. From what I could tell, it was his. I got dressed, pulling on my over-sized white tee with the black pentacle. It was mostly for magic but after a while the warm smell of incense and herbs never left, regardless of how much fabric softener I used. The comfort was exactly what I needed.

Damon looked me over as I tugged on a pair of leggings. "Not all black today?"

"I needed a security shirt," I stated. He just nodded. "I'm gonna go get some breakfast."

"Fin, it's like 2pm." I stopped for a second.

"In that case, I'm getting lunch, food in general, whatever the hell you want to call it," I conceded, running a hand through my hair. I was going to have to change it after this. Blue was forever ruined after this nightmare.

Damon just nodded. "Want some company?" I shook my head, heading for the door. "Be safe. And I talked to the team from yesterday. Jin is fine. He's already up and running around. He also volunteered to be our alternate. Turns out he liked you enough." I nodded, and left.

There wasn't much I could say to that. Besides being a little upset that Damon had replaced Shoku without asking me, I didn't know if we could trust Jin. He seemed nice, but he'd let us win. That, in my mind, meant that there was a lot to him that we didn't know and I didn't like that. That was basically accepting that he could kill us at any second and we let him hang out on our team. It was giving too much power to someone we didn't know.

I went down to the hotel restaurant again. At this point they just left my little booth open for me. The human waitstaff on the island seemed to feel bad for me, knowing that I was a human who got shoved into this tournament. It helped that I was polite, quiet and that even though our meals were paid for I tipped pretty well. Odds are I was nicer than most of the demons there.

As I ate, I looked through my Instagram feed. I hadn't posted in months, but my friends from back home had. It was both saddening and nostalgic. I knew I couldn't go back. I would deactivate my account after the tournament, assuming I lived. Disappear off the face of the earth. It wasn't like I had talked to any of them in months anyways. I had faded out of their lives. No one would remember to look for me until a few years later and by then it wouldn't matter anymore.

"Mind if I join you?" I looked up. It was the tall human on the Urameshi team. The ginger Ryu. I shook my head, and he slipped into the booth across from me. "I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, I'm on Urameshi's team. I should've come to talk to you before but the guys figured we should see how you're reacting to everything."

I smiled weakly, nodding. "All good. I'm not sure how I'm reacting honestly. All I know is that it's not well."

"Understandable," Kuwabara said, smiling back. "I didn't handle it too well when I first got thrown into this. I kind of volunteered for it, though. Jumped headfirst into the first mission after thinking it was a better idea to hold back my abilities."

I kind of chuckled at that. "Total 180, eh?"

"More than that, if I'm being honest," he confessed. "I was always kind of a violent kid. Scrapper, in a little gang. If it wasn't for all of this, I don't think I would've turned it around. Now I'm in University, I'm engaged to the girl of my dreams, I'm actually happy. This life is rough, but some good came out of it for me."

"You're in Uni? What for?" I asked.

"Veterinarian. I love animals, always have," he said with a smile. "Did you go?"

I nodded. "Bachelor of arts in psychology. Loved it. I do well in school. Can't practice without a masters, but I might go back some day. Have you hit the point where you have no sense of self-preservation left?"

"You had that too?" I nodded with a small grin. "Yeah, it's to the point where I'm totally cool coming here cause if I get hurt I probably don't have to take my finals."

"Yeah, it doesn't go away. Just wait until something catches fire, everyone's reaction will be 'yay we don't have to take finals if the school burns down' even though it never will." It wasn't the best way to think about school, but it was accurate. Every student felt it at some point.

He chuckled. "Yeah, we had that about four months ago. It was a good day. It was during exam week too, we were all praying."

"Yeah, it doesn't get better." I went quiet after that, not really sure what to say.

"You know," he said. "It's not a bad thing that this is affecting you. I'd be worried it if wasn't, given the background we have on you. This is a terrifying experience and it's ok to not be ok with it."

"Yeah…" I sighed, dragging my hand through my hair. "I guess… I don't know. This is such a nightmare. Seriously, I'm starting to think dealing with fae would be better than this."

"Fae?"

"Fairies," I clarified. The confused look on Kuwabara's face remained. "I know, sounds stupid, but I come from old Scottish magic. Doesn't matter if you don't believe in that shit, you do not fuck with it. They'll steal your kids or lead you to your death or some shit."

"Huh…" Kuwabara. "Never going to Scotland."

"I'm Canadian," I chuckled. "But they like liminal spaces and your entire goddamn country is one. So you have probably run into one."

He laughed nervously. "Not sure how much I like that idea."

"No one likes it, you just gotta deal. And don't be a douche. They do not like that." Sure, I'd never really run into them myself, but driving alone at 3 am in backwoods Alberta you saw some weird shit. I'd learned not to question it. Just keep driving and stare straight ahead. Though the farther I went into this, the moer I realized that they were more than likely other types of demons. Still terrifying either way.

Kuwabara smiled. "Yeah, fair enough. I gotta go, I'm supposed to be meeting the guys for supper. But we're in room 608, so just come up if you ever need anything ok? I know Ame offered, but from one human in a death match to the other."

I nodded. "Thanks. Oh hey, that guy on your team, Hiei. What's his deal?"

"Um, good guy. Kind of quiet. You're not going to get much out of him." His brows drew together. "Why do you ask?"

"He offered me some advice. And condolences thinly veiled with contempt," I explained. "He helped me out more than I think he realized."

Kuwabara nodded. "He's a good guy when he wants to be. I think you just gotta dig. I'm surprised he said anything to you, though. Hiei tends to stick to the family." I smiled to myself as he left.

I wasn't sure why Hiei intrigued me so much. Maybe it was the energy, maybe it was his snarky attitude that matched my own when I was at my best and comfortable with people. Hell, his eyes were definitely a part of it. The warm dark red that hid something behind them. I couldn't tell what, but something about him just made me want to give him a big hug.

Maybe if I survived this hell we could be friends. Assuming he wasn't the one who killed me.

* * *

I ended up back in the hotel room not long after. Only to see Damon and Takuma sitting on the couch, my spell book on table between them. From the drawings I could see, it was open to the spell I had made the day before.

Damon turned to me, eyes dark. "You want to tell me what the fuck this is, Fin?"

"It's nothing," I snapped, walking past him to the tiny kitchen. "Just a spell." Damon stood, grabbing the book.

" _This spell will use life energy and may result in death of the user._ " I flinched as he read that. "Doesn't sound like nothing, Finley. It sounds like a suicide bomb in spell form." He wasn't wrong, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I was terrified of us losing. That didn't equal ready to die for my cause, it really didn't. But I was scared enough that I wanted the backup plan.

"I'm not going to use it, Dae. It was just something that came from inspiration." I took a sip of the too hot tea. There was a reason I liked things over ice. Damon looked from the book to me. "You're looking into this too much."

"Then it won't be a big deal if I rip out these pages and burn them." We stared each other down.

"I'd be pissed because you desecrated a book, but the spell isn't a big deal." It didn't matter either way. I had it memorized. Rewriting it wasn't a big deal. It would take me about 15 minutes.

"Good." With one smooth motion, the page was torn from my spell book. Damon went out on the patio with a lighter and in a matter of seconds it was up in flames. Reduced to ashes. A slight wind blew the pieces away.

Damon flopped onto the couch, and I stormed off to the bedroom, taking my book with me. I sat on my bed, taking out the pens. It looked like I was going to have to keep it on me at all times from now on. It was a pain in the ass, but anything was better than letting Damon yell at me again. He'd just get worried and I'd just get mad.

After a few minutes, Takuma came into the room. "Damon just left."

"Cool."

"You have that spell memorized, don't you?" I didn't respond, going over the lines in one of the drawings again. "Look, Finley, he's not really mad. We're just worried about you. This is something to be worried about. You wouldn't have written that if you weren't thinking about using it."

I decided not to mention the other thing I had to write. That letter wouldn't be important unless I died anyways. "I'm not planning on using it."

"You made it as a Plan B." It wasn't a question. "Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm just going to ask you to think about this before you act. I'll even hide your book from Damon, but just think."

I was going to. He wasn't being unreasonable, though I was surprised he even cared. Takuma had grown closer to the rest of us, but it hadn't shaken my belief that he was colder than Damon. I expected him to support the spell, not reprimand me for it. It was a big thing and I wasn't going to use it unless I had to. Winning was more important to me. I didn't know if they'd grant wishes post-mortem, but maybe.

I just prayed it wasn't going to come to that.

* * *

That night I barely slept. Every time I managed to sink into sleep I would shaken awake by the nightmares. They were getting more and more vivid. Each one was worse than the last. I didn't understand why I tried sleeping anymore.

It was the same thing over and over. It was hell.

 _"You did this to us," a chorus of voices screamed. They started appearing, each mutilated and bloody. It started with Kosuke._

 _I only knew it was him because of what was left. His eyes were bright yellow. He was torn to shreds, the pieces vaguely resembling the shape of a human body. Barely. There were huge gaps where things should have been. The parts that were still there dripped blood and were scorched._

 _"This is all your fault," he hissed, voice box charred and only half there._

 _The next was Kallisto. Her head was twisted around, spitting venom wildly. Grey-skinned limbs twitched like a frog hooked up to a car battery. "I wouldn't have died if you had," she sputtered._

 _Green eyes followed her. There was a bleeding hole in her chest, blood spurting out at me. "It's all your fault. If you had just let that demon kill you, none of us would be dead. It would just be you," she hissed in my ear._

 _The one-eyed demon was next. Little bits of brain streaked down his face, getting into the one staring eye. "You're supposed to be kind and yet you kill like this? In cold blood?"_

 _A blackened demon with fours arms is next. "If you had died like a good witch no one would have died. He wouldn't have died. It's all your fault." He gestured towards my left. I turned and there was Shoku._

 _Glassy-eyed and a gaping hole through his chest. "You took me away from them. If you had died, I would get back to him." Next to him came his wife and daughter, tear tracks burned into their cheeks._

 _"It's all your fault," they chanted. "All your fault."_

At that point I woke up screaming. Sometimes it didn't get that far, but that was always as far as it got. Each time it just got more vivid. The details became crisper, and every time it hit me I woke up with a heaving chest and tears streaking down my cheeks. I wasn't sure how Damon and Takuma slept through it. I wasn't even sure that they did. At least they were kind enough not to mention it.

* * *

Damon avoided me the next day. I didn't know where he was, but he hadn't come back to the room the night before. I understood why. After he burned my spell, I had just rewritten it. He didn't know it, but he was mad that I'd made it in the first place. It was exactly what he'd said it was.

I left the hotel room around noon, and wandered into the forest again. I had stopped fearing death at this point. If a demon tried to kill me, I couldn't let it get that far.

What drew me to the forest was the energy I felt coming out of it. After feeling it for only a short time, I could tell who it was. Was I a goddamned idiot for following it? Yeah, but at this point I just needed a warm hug. Damon wasn't talking to me, Takuma wouldn't hug me if I paid him a million dollars and I'd rather get shot that hug Kuro. So hanging out near Hiei's energy was going to have to be good enough for me.

All this, of course, was assuming he didn't suddenly decide to hate me. Kuwabara had said some promising things, but I wasn't going to call it a certainty.

I found him in a clearing, swinging a katana around. It was like he was fighting imaginary foes. I'd only ever seen Damon, my grandfather and my own father using a katana. It was never something that I was familiar with, but I knew enough. The miniscule knowledge was enough to tell that Hiei's form was flawless.

If I was being honest, I was just trying to ignore the fact that he was shirtless. Hiei worked out. It showed.

I cleared my throat, alerting him to my presence. He just continued on. I figured he knew I was there and he just didn't give a shit. So, I sat under a tree and I watched. My eyes started to sink shut, the warm energy blanketing me. Slowly, everything faded to black.

 _"Onna," a deep voice urged, breaking through the din of the people I'd killed. "Onna, wake up."_

"Onna!" My eyes shot wide, jerking me into reality. Red eyes were immediately in front of my face. I screamed. A hand slapped over my mouth. "Calm down."

I panted, still reeling form the nightmare. My hands went to my forehead, a small headache building behind my eyes. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your workout." He stared at me like I was crazy.

"I was done about two hours ago," he said, leaning back. "You've been asleep for 5."

"What?" A small smile crossed my face. "No fucking way. That's the longest I've been asleep in days." His eyebrows raised briefly before returning into his disinterested expression. "Yeah, I'm a wreck, no need to tell me."

Hiei huffed. "Idiot. Go back to the hotel, I don't have time to babysit you." With that, he disappeared. I could hardly tell what direction he went in. He was just gone. I didn't want anyone I knew to fight him, that was certain. He was terrifying.

Yet I had fallen asleep with him and he hadn't left me in the forest. Which would have been leaving me for dead. I was sure he low-key hated me for that, but he still hadn't left. For all I knew, he was just doing what he was supposed to be doing by making sure I didn't die. Dedication to the mission or not, I was thankful for him.

I just really didn't want to fight him.

* * *

The next day was spent in isolation. I was fine with it, in truth. Damon wasn't talking to me, and Takuma was out, doing who knows what. None of us had seen Kuro in the since the last fight. It was ridiculous. He was avoiding us. In all honesty, he could've been dead. None of us would have really cared. Damon and Takuma would've been the ones to do it if he was dead.

The last fight was the next day, and all of us where dealing with it in our own ways. My way of dealing was watching all of my favourite movies and looking at puppies on the internet. It was hard to be sad or dread what was to come watching a Miyazaki movie or the Addams Family and looking at pitbulls. Pitbulls and Wednesday Addams made for good feels.

It wasn't until that night that I saw any of my teammates.

Takuma was the first to return, immediately lay down on his bed. "Did you leave at all today?"

"No. Movies. They help distract form the sickening reality that I live in, and they're better than real life or interacting with people," I said, watching as brightly colored figures danced around Howl. "What did you do all day?"

"Trained. Which is what you should've been doing." And panicked or hurt myself because I couldn't focus? No, thank you. I was having a hard enough time focusing on my computer screen, let alone do something as complex as fighting and the pounding migraine that had been building in the back of my skull for the past few hours was making light start to hurt. If it worked for Takuma, fine, but I had to ignore reality for a little bit or I was going to sit and cry which would help no one.

"Sure, sure," I muttered. I wasn't going to argue with him. It wasn't going to work and he wouldn't be wrong anyways.

Damon came in a few minutes later, Jin trailing behind him with a lazy grin on his face. "Hey," he greeted. He carefully looked at me, guilt clear in his eyes.

"Hey. Hi, Jin. How are you?" I asked.

He grinned at me, plopping down on the couch. "I'm fine. You got me real good in that last fight, but I bounce back quick. Ready to help you guys out tomorrow. How've ya been doing?" I knew he was lying, I hadn't gotten him good. He let me win.

"Fine." I shrugged, glancing towards Damon. He still wasn't looking at me, settling down in the chair across from me. Neither of us wanted to make eye contact.

"Jin is joining our team, so I thought we could talk strategy," Damon said. "The Urameshi team has Touya."

Jin nodded. "Yeah. I'd like to take him on, if you all don't mind. He and I haven't had a good brawl in the past bit, and I'd like to see who's stronger."

"Take this seriously." My voice was low, anger coming through. Damon sighed, and Jin looked at me confused.

"I am, but this is fun," he said. "It's not that big of a deal. You guys will be fine anyways."

"No. It's not fun. If we don't win, people are going to die. Kimiko and Sayuri are going to die," I yelled. Fury surged through me, and Takuma and Damon looked away from me as I yelled. They knew how much this meant to me. "Shoku's family is fucked if we don't win this tournament. So, don't you tell me that this is fun. If you're not going to take this seriously, fucking leave. We'll find another alternate who will. This is not a fucking game!" My voice just increased in volume as I screamed. Tears stung my eyes.

Jin looked down. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I'll take this seriously. I didn't realize how much this means to you."

Picking up my computer, I looked over all of them. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

When the bedroom door closed behind me, my composure left me in rush. The tears I'd been holding back created hot tracks down my cheeks; the guilt, shame, fear and anger I'd been ignoring all day pouring out all at once. I sobbed silently for what felt like hours, hiding under my sheets. Damon didn't comment on it when he came in, though I was sure he heard the sniffs and gasps coming from my bed. I didn't want him to comment either. Just pretend that he didn't hear me cracking and breaking down in a shitty hotel bed, miles away from any home I'd ever known.

Damon started snoring around 2 am. I tossed my feet over the edge of the bed, grabbing my backpack full of magic supplies. I snuck out onto the balcony, past the sleeping Takuma and the empty beds of Kuro and Shoku.

The wind blew softly, cold and wet from the ocean. I sat down, looking at the stars in the sky. I didn't like what I was about to do, but I knew it was necessary. My spell book was placed in front of me, open to the pages with the spell that had made Damon so angry.

I pulled out red and black thread, an iron coffin nail, foxglove, knotweed, a stick of hazel, and an obsidian point. I set out a small iron cauldron and filled it with sand, setting a charcoal disk on top and topping that with a small cone of Dragon's Blood incense. I lit it, smoke blowing into the air around me and filling the air with the comforting smell.

Dragon's Blood was one of those things that had a lot of uses. It could be used for powerful protection, for amplifying a spell or for making some intense curses. For my purposes, it was for cursing.

I braided together the black and red thread and then knotted along the braid as I went along. "With this knot, I bind your energy," I said with the first knot.

"With this knot, I bind your body." The second knot joined the first about an inch away from the first.

"With this knot, I bind your soul." The third knot joined.

"With this knot, I bind your heart." A fourth knot was added to the braid.

"With this knot, I see your fears." I added a fifth knot, hands starting to shake a little.

"With this knot, I seal my energy." After adding the sixth knot, I gathered the herbs, sticks and nail, wrapping them in the braided thread. I made on twist to hold it together, and sat the obsidian point in the center.

As I tied the string around the point, sealing it into the spell, I muttered the final bit. "With this knot, my will is done." I sat the bundle down, leaning back against the glass. There was still a lot more to the spell, but the preparation was done. I had to have it in my little hip bag when I fought. Damon had read the spell, so he would know my plans. He wasn't going to stop me, however, he couldn't if he didn't jump into the ring.

The blood part of the spell had to be done in the moment. I was just hoping that if I had to use it the person I fought wouldn't notice what I was doing. If I kept the symbols small, it should be fine. The was one problem about the spell that was hanging over my head as I watched the breeze rustle the trees.

If I did this, I had to accept that I would die.

What was worse: I was prepared to.

* * *

That's it for this chapter. This was a fun one for me. We're getting closer to the end of the Tournament and we get some more insight to Fin.

I also enjoyed writing Kuwabara into this. He's definitely one of my favourite characters and I (personally) don't think people give him enough love.

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and please feel free to leave your reviews and comments. :)


	10. Chapter 10: Seven Devils

Hi, guys!

This week has been a nice break from all the craziness of university, though that's going to be starting up again next week with exams closing in on me. I've been so thrilled by the response from you guys on the last chapter. I know that it's been a long while of the Dark Tournament and I'd happy to say we're coming to a close soon. Just as a warning, I may miss next weeks update due to studying, but I will be doing my best to post. Studying, regrettably, has to come first.

I would like to thank hyourin-kusabana and DarkMajix for both favouriting and following the story, and Aelthya for reviewing. Also, I realized in the last chapter I didn't thank Silvire808 for reviewing, so thank you so much and I'm sorry I missed you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

A dark and heavy air hung over the hotel the next morning. As the orange sun came up over the horizon I watched from the balcony, surrounded by bits and pieces of magical ingredients, the main product of the nights work hidden away. The still dark sky and heavy clouds coming towards the island made the entire place seem like there was a giant storm coming. One that would change things forever. The grey waters tossed against the shores, leaving little bits of white foam in their wake.

Everything looked… serene. If you had no sense of the environment and energy, it would feel that way, too. Those who could sense it would know the truth.

The energy on the island was on edge, chaotic and uneasy. It felt like the world was ready to swallow me whole. Like one wrong move and I'd be gone forever, swallowed by the waves. It wasn't too far from the truth, unfortunately.

Damon came out onto the balcony, looking out over the horizon. We sat in silence for a few moments, neither of us looking at the other.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked. We both had a lot to apologize for from the past few days. I had to apologize for the way I had acted, for the anger and creating the spell that he was so against. He had to apologize for being an ass, ignoring me and losing it on me about the spell. We had a lot of problems, but if anything, it made us a little closer. Damon and I had been close since the day we met, almost like the older brother I had never wanted. I was ok with it, though. I kind of had to be. It wasn't like he was going anywhere.

"For freaking out on you. For bringing Jin into this without telling you. For judging you so hard for doing what's in your nature. You're trying so hard to do this and I know that, but I haven't really been helping," he confessed. "I don't know what it's like to have all this respect for life and deep emotional crap, you know that. Growing up like I did, you don't get the whole compassion thing. But you have it for the people that are trying to kill you. It's natural for you to do the right thing, and to you somehow see the good in everyone. And I'm sorry that this is taking that away from you."

I looked up at him, tears welling in my eyes. "I'm sorry, too." He smiled down at me, confusion in his eyes. "For the spell. For being so sad and bitchy all the time. For not being able to do what I have to do here without breaking down."

"You're allowed to feel shit, Fin," Damon said.

"You ever think that maybe it would be better if you didn't?" I asked.

He gave me a look. "No. Never. It would be worse. Imagine never feeling lust, or sadness, or happiness. It would be hell." There was a brief pause. "Do you ever think about it?" I hadn't much, though the thoughts had been coming more and more over the past few days. If only I had a way to shut it out, to stop feeling so deeply about this.

"Sometimes."

"Well, don't. If you didn't feel as much as you do, you wouldn't be you," Damon snapped. "Seriously, Fin, you're an empathetic person. I love that about you. You're doing this for all the right reasons, even if you don't think you are. So just… don't stop feeling." I smiled at him, leaning into his legs. A warm hand rested on my head.

We watched the sunrise in silence, just absorbing what we knew was coming. I felt the doubt for myself and guilt of what I had tucked away in my bag. Damon would find out about it when I used it, assuming I had to. Team Urameshi was extremely strong, and while my spell wouldn't kill them, it was good enough to suck the energy from them and bind them. I was the one it would kill.

My iPod alarm went off. It was 8 am. We all got up and got dressed. The hotel room was silent, the only sounds the rustling of clothes and the deep sighs of anticipation and dread. We all went to fight clothes, knowing that in only a few short hours we would have to go and face the finals.

To face death.

* * *

Takuma, Damon and I went down to breakfast. The human waitstaff looked at us with pitying eyes. The demons looked at us with excitement and hatred. They all knew what we were up against. Our table was silent. None of us talked. We had lost one of the key members of our team. The other had ghosted on us. We had no idea if Kuro was even going to show up for the finals. If he didn't we could get disqualified. Though at that point Damon and Takuma would just hunt him down and kill him so we could proceed. They never did have much patience.

We didn't see anyone familiar that morning. No one from Jin's team, none of the Urameshi squad. Just a lot of strangers jeering at us from the sidelines. We were doing our best to ignore them but they were loud and we were angry and scared. I'll be the first to admit that it got to me. Demons on the island confirmed what I already knew about myself.

"You're a monster." "You don't deserve to live." "I hope someone kills that bitch, she's just like all the others. Murders us in cold blood and tries to say she's different." I liked to think that I had a better motive, that doing this for Shoku's family, for the lives of my teammates would be enough. Part of me knew that it wasn't. That it was just a way for me to make myself feel better about what I was doing. It didn't excuse my actions.

The finals started at noon, and we were in the locker room long before then. Kuro showed up about 30 minutes before we had to go to our deaths. Jin showed up 15 minutes before. Kuro wasn't spoken too. Neither was Jin. Though one was due to disgust, the other from stress.

My hand kept nervously going to my hip bag, where the wand I'd created for the spell was tucked away, and my daggers. I hoped it wasn't going to come to that. I desperately hoped that it wouldn't. It didn't change that I was more than prepared to use it if it meant that we would win. I would never tell Damon that, but there was a note that I'd left on the nightstand in our room, assuming I did die.

It was my worst-case backup plan.

* * *

We were called to the arena. Damon and I looked at each other, eyes scared. I'd never seen him look that scared. Sure, I had that expression all the time. I recognized it as the one I'd seen in the mirror every day since we'd gotten to the island, but Damon never had it. My heart jumped to my throat, pounding a mile a minute. If Damon was scared, I had a reason to be petrified.

The Urameshi team was across from us. There weren't any terms to decide with the finals. It was just a set of one on one matches, with whoever had the most wins taking it. They at least looked friendly from across the arena. I knew they weren't out to kill us, but that didn't make me feel any better. Looking at Yusuke terrified me, knowing that I would be fighting him, as the leader of the team.

They had never told us who they were trying to get out. It could have been me. It could have been Damon. It probably wasn't Takuma or Kuro. I didn't want either of them to die, regardless of how much we had all grown to hate Kuro. I wanted the remainder of our team to make it out of this. As long as we won this fight, everything would be ok. Win the tournament, everything would be fine.

Koto opened the fight with a huge grin. "Hello, everyone and welcome to the finals of the Dark Tournament! We have the returning champs, Team Urameshi fighting off against the guest team, Team Conneigan!" She was illuminated by a single spotlight. I knew this was par for the course, but it still seemed grossly inappropriate. "As always, the finals are a series of one on one matches, with the winner taking the most wins. All five matches have to be completed! Let's get our first fighters in the ring!" The crowd screamed, cheering and jeering at us all. Many of them seem split on who they preferred. It was just clear that they wanted me dead.

Takuma moved into the ring without any hesitation. I was surprised that he volunteered to go first without a word to us. Normally we discussed what we would do, if only for a second. Previous matches had been decided after we saw the first fighter, at leas that's how I saw it. We hadn't talked about order for the finals. I think we were all just hoping and praying that somehow, they would drop out. It was a longshot, but the hope was still there. It had to be there.

Kuwabara was the one who went up against Takuma. He went into the ring with a hard expression, glaring at Takuma. I was scared for my teammate. The look on Kuwabara's face was one of disgust. Takuma was an ass, but he didn't deserve that. He had been more supportive than Damon had been at some points for me, though at the beginning he was a douchebag. I didn't want Kuwabara to hurt Takuma because he was a demon with a bad attitude, a criminal in the eyes of the Makai. He was still my friend, new as the friendship was.

There was a stare down in the ring. Takuma and Kuwabara held eye contact as Koto began the match. "Ok! First match of the finals, Kuwabara vs Takuma! Begin!" They turned into a blur. I'd known Takuma was fast, but I didn't think he was that fast. I could track their movement, though poorly. Damon still had my glasses hidden, so they were just blurrier.

The first hit was marked with a loud crack. Takuma's head snapped to the side, nose bending. My hands shot to my mouth. Takuma had to do this. He had to make it out. While I knew the blood pouring from his nose wasn't a huge deal, it still scared me. Blood was not a thing I loved.

Damon's hand slipped down to mine, squeezing tight. I glanced at his face. His jaw was clenched, eyes hard watching the match. I bit my lip, accepting the attempt at comfort from my best friend. He was just as scared as I was.

Takuma wasn't getting a single hit in on Kuwabara. The bat demon was black and blue, legs wobbling and shaking as he tried to stay standing. He wiped blood away from his mouth and his tongue lapped up what was left over, glossing over his fangs. In a last ditch effort, Takuma launched at Kuwabara. Three long scratches were clawed into Kuwabara's chest, and Takuma was shoved back on to the ground. He scrambled, dodging as many hits as he could. It was like was he trying to buy time. And then I saw what he'd done.

Kuwabara's movements started to slow, his hits getting sloppier. It was minutes of beating Takuma around until he finally stopped, losing balance in a final attempt to hit my teammate. Takuma stayed on his feet, though barely. "Venom is a pain in the ass, eh?" he said, a small smirk crossing his face. Koto did the ten count, and declared Takuma the victor. The second she did, he collapsed.

Damon and I leaped into the ring, picking him up. "You barely hanging on is becoming a trend here, Takuma," Damon joked. "Let's keep it from being a habit."

"It's the last fight," the bat demon gasped. "We have to win. Sure, it was sneaky, but it had to be done. I'm not gonna be the reason we lose." He and I made brief eye contact. I nodded, trying my best to smile, though it came out grim. He knew how much it meant to me. He knew that I had prepared the last-ditch effort. Hell, I knew he was hoping that I wasn't going to have to use it as much as I was, but we weren't stupid. There was a strong chance that I was going to have to. Kuwabara had kicked Takuma's ass, and we'd only won by a trick. It was lucky, but it didn't bode well for us. If they were all measured by Kuwabara's standards, we were fucked. If Jin won his fight, the spell might have to be our only hope. I didn't know who Damon and Kuro would fight, but they didn't have venom like Takuma.

Damon's weird sexual appeal wasn't going to help him against Yusuke, Hiei or Kurama. Kuro… well, he didn't have a hope in hell. If he made it out alive he wouldn't make it much longer if Takuma and Damon had anything to say about it.

Touya was the next to step up. Jin put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a light squeeze. "I'll be taking him. I'll win so we have a fighting chance," he said. "I'm taking this seriously." I hadn't apologized for screaming at him, but he looked at me like he understood. Crying girls apparently got through to male demons well.

I nodded, shooting a weak smile at him. "Thanks. Be careful," I said. He grinned and hopped into the ring, swinging his arms around. I admired that about Jin. He seemed to be so confident, so excited about life. I wasn't. I was scared and insecure and guilty.

Jin and Touya smiled at each other as Koto started the match. "Touya vs Jin! Begin!" This fight made me realize just how much they'd been holding back on us. I couldn't even follow their movement. I felt the cold and the roaring winds, but they were nothing more than brief flashes of their bodies and blurs. It was stunning and I was sure that even with my glasses I wouldn't be able to follow them. The two of them went at it, and all you could hear were the collisions. I watched in horror.

We were so out of our league.

Jin had said they were friends with Urameshi, but there was no way in hell that he was as strong as they were. Yusuke had beaten Jin before, from what Damon said. I wasn't sure why anyone thought that we could beat Urameshi. Takuma had gotten lucky and he hadn't exactly been honourable. Kuro wouldn't be, but Damon had some pride. I could barely get through a fight without memories and guilt flooding me.

A gust of powerful wind shoved all of us to the side. Damon and Kuro kept their balance, and Takuma was sitting. I almost pulled a Piglett. Damon grabbed my arm as I started to fall over, my legs starting to lift off the ground. If we tied a string around my waist I could've been a kite.

Touya crashed into the arena wall, landing in the stands. The winds died down and my feet returned to the ground. I must've looked ridiculous clinging to Damon's side and thanking god that my feet were on the ground. Koto started the count. Touya wasn't getting back up.

The two of them were insane. To think I had fought both of them was wild to me. There was no way in hell they had been trying. This… this was what they were actually capable of.

"The winner of the match is Jin!" Koto declared. "This is looking like a promising start for Team Conneigan!" Damon and I looked at each other. We were both having the same thought. Koto had just jinxed us. There was no way in hell we were going to win.

The next one up was Kurama. Kuro walked up, long neck hanging down. The few times I had seen Kurama, he had been with his wife and son. He had looked warm, inviting. Like a father ought to. Now he was cold and hard, like he was more than ready to kill and feel nothing about it. Even though I didn't want Kuro to die, I understood the desire to kill him.

"Kuro vs Kurama!" Koto announced. "Begin!"

Kurama looked at Kuro, standing still and watching him with a measured stare. "Why are you a part of this?" the redhead demanded. "Everyone has seen how you disregard your team. Why even show up for the finals?"

Kuro gave a him a disgusting, slimy grin. "I want my wish. It's not like I'm going to let that little bitch walk away from this alive. She's an abomination!" Damon grabbed my hand and tugged me behind him. Kuro's lanky neck twisted to us, eyes cruel and shining. "Hiding her won't help, Damon. Hell, if we don't win someone else will do what I will."

"What exactly are you planning to do?" Kurama asked, forcing his attention back to the fox.

Kuro looked at me. "Well, she didn't die when she let Shoku take the hit. So I figured I'd have some fun with her before I ate her. She's not bad to look at, but who would mate a witch? Fuck and kill, that's more than she deserves." Acid rose in my throat. I thought we could trust him. He was a slimy bastard, but I didn't think he was that bad... I thought he was decent. He had been in my home. He'd shared a hotel room with me. The crowd kept cheering through that. The jeers were nothign compared to what I was hearing from the ring.

A low growl came from Damon. "We knew there was something off about you, you bastard, but this? Fuck if he doesn't kill you, I will! You're not leaving this island alive!" I coughed, shaking. My face was buried in Damon's back. I couldn't even look at the ring. I was scared I'd actually vomit, and then I'd look worse.

"What are you gonna do? Kill me before I make the wish?" Kuro taunted. "Bullshit. I'm going to have my way. Surely, Kurama, you understand. You know what they've done to our kind. They don't deserve to live, let alone as long as she has."

"It's our job to protect humans. She is human," Kurama stated, voice low and controlled. The anger was there, but it was careful and measured. I glanced back at teh ring, where Kurama was glowering at Kuro. He was no longer a fighter. That was the face of an angry father. I'd seen it before on my own, and in the face of my grandfather whenever anyone in our family was in danger, or any woman for that matter. "From what we've seen, she means no harm to anyone. Not even demons, who have apparently tried to kill her more than once and one who she thought to be her teammate that plans to rape and eat her. So, no. I do not understand." Kuro began to look truly terrified.

Kurama took out a small seed, glaring at Kuro. Our… I could hardly call him a teammate, but Kuro launched at him. He was going on a suicide mission. Kurama flicked the seed at him and it lodged securely in Kuro's chest. The fox demon's energy flew through the roof, and a plant began to grow out of Kuro, bursting into flowers. Screaming rang in my ears.

"I'm sure you've heard of this plant," Kurama said to a struggling Kuro. "It's a variation on the Burner, only it takes far longer to liquefy you internal organs. I feel for your crimes, past and intended, this is less than you deserve. Feel lucky that I have more important things to worry about than you."

Koto looked between the two of them nervously, like she had no idea how to call the match. "Um… I guess since Kuro can't physically move and is in agonizing pain, the match goes to Kurama!"

Damon squeezed my hand tight as the flowering remains of Kuro were dragged out of the arena by some attendants. My stomach was turning. The idea of what he wanted to do to me… I swallowed hard, trying not to vomit. What a monster. Had that been his goal the entire time? He'd lived in my house, for fuck's sake. His words just kept bouncing around my brain.

I forced them out, shaking my head violently. There was no time. I could feel violated and scared when this was over. Dump myself in a cleansing bath and sage the entire house. We just had to get through this match.

Yusuke was the next to hop up. Damon and I shared a confused glance. He was the team leader. I'd been expecting to fight him. Damon had prepped me for what his abilities were. The Spirit Gun was not something I wanted to be on the receiving end of, but I knew how to dodge it. That only left Hiei on their team. I knew nothing about what he could do, I just knew he was a fire demon and that was only based off energy. Damon hadn't said much about him; I assumed because he didn't know a lot.

A grim look came over his face. "I'm going. If I win, you might not have to fight Hiei." He smiled down at me. "Just… keep your fingers crossed, ok?" His hand left mine, walking to the ring. Jin looked down at me, then back to him.

"Are you two dating?" He asked. I gagged. "Sorry, you two always act really close."

"No…" My arms tightened around my stomach. "He's like my brother. He's all the family I have left." Jin looked at me with an unreadable expression.

It was a weird thing to think of, but it was true. Damon and I argued like siblings. Neither of us had any other family, so we went to each other. We had become family the day he showed up on my doorstep and moved in. He had his own place and yet he preferred it at my house. It hadn't felt like a home until I'd had someone else there with me. With all of us moved in, it became more than just my grandparent's house. Damon had become, for all intents and purposes, my brother. Even if we'd never actually said it.

"Ok! Yusuke vs Damon!" Koto exclaimed. "Begin!"

Damon gave Yusuke a grin. "Wanna tell me why I'm fighting you and not Hiei? Last I checked it was common place for the teamleaders to fight each other in the finals. That's you and Fin."

"I know," Yusuke said, waving his hand. "That's not my thing though, I'm just respecting someone's wishes for once." Damon looked past Yusuke for a second, the back to the boy. I saw Damon's lips move but I couldn't hear what he said. Guilt covered Yusuke's face as his next words came. "Sorry, man. I'm sure she'll be fine."

A growl came from Damon and he launched at Yusuke, fist raised. It was almost like Yusuke let Damon's fist land square on his jaw. The leader of the other team grinned, a slight scratch on his face. Yusuke plowed his fist into Damon's face, sending him flying across the ring. Damon skidded on his back, stopping just before the edge of the ring. He pushed to his feet, wiping blood away from his mouth.

It was almost like they had made a silent pact to only beat the shit out of each other with their fists. Their energy attacks were similar anyways, both explosive balls of energy that destroyed a lot. Yusuke was clearly stronger, but Damon wasn't backing down. Every blow Yusuke dealt was met with two from Damon. But I could tell that Damon wasn't going to win. He was fighting so hard, but he was running out of energy and he was nothing compared to Yusuke, as much as I hated to admit it.

I just wanted Damon to come out of this alive.

A small shrieking gasp escaped me as Damon was slammed into the ring. The concrete splintered and cracked around his body, chunks flying towards us. I bit into my lip, waiting for him to move. I didn't care if he got up. I just wanted him to move. I wanted any movement I could get. Koto started the count.

"One." Nothing.

"Two." Nothing.

"Three." My eyes started to water.

"Four." Please not Damon.

"Five." I couldn't lose someone else.

"Six." He was my best friend. I couldn't lose him, too.

"Seven." Did a finger twitch?

"Eight." The mess of brown hair moved and a smile lit up my face in relief.

"Nine." He tried to push himself up.

"Ten." His arms shook before he collapsed in the small crater.

"The winner is Yusuke Urameshi!" Koto exclaimed. I rushed forward the second she finished, leaping into the ring and to Damon's side. He was beaten and bruised. Blood trickled from his forehead and his nose was twisted at an almost obscene angle.

A weak smile pulled some purpling bruises tight. "I tried, Fin. I didn't want you to fight him." If he didn't want me to fight Hiei, I could only begin to imagine what he was capable of. Hiei was strong, but we hadn't even entertained the idea of me fighting him.

"I know…" I helped him out of the ring. "I'm just glad you're ok." Alive. But we both knew what I meant.

I stayed in the ring, handing Damon off to Jin. He grabbed my arm, staring me down. "Don't use it, Fin. Please." There was no nod from me. No reassuring smile. Just a tight-lipped resolve. I couldn't lose against Hiei. I couldn't. Damon's eyes were pleading and I just turned away, unable to meet his gaze any longer with the fear shaking through me.

Hiei was already on the platform, waiting for me. I didn't want to think that this was goodbye, but the possibility wasn't leaving my mind. Our eyes met. We waited for Koto to start the match. I wanted to know why I was fighting him. I wanted to know why I kept running into him. I wanted to make it out of this alive.

I wasn't counting on anything.

"This is it, guys! The deciding match of the Dark Tournament finals!" Koto announced. "Hiei vs Finley! Begin!" Hiei drew his sword, darting towards me. I barely dodged, biting through my lip as pain shot through my arm as I tried not to scream. Blood streamed from my arm and bottom lip. I had to come up with something. Anything.

Fire was useless against him, but I knew his could kill me. I was terrified of water, so I wasn't sure that was a valid option. Wind? Might work, but there was no guarantee. I needed to give something else a shot before I tried the spell. I didn't want to use it if I didn't have to. I didn't want to die.

Hiei kept coming at me, barely missing me every time. It was like he was trying to miss me.

I tripped over a piece of concrete, landing in the crater that Yusuke had made with Damon's body. Concrete was rock. Rock was earth. Maybe? As Hiei drew back his fist, ready to copy Yusuke's move, I poured energy into the stone below me. A few chunks flew up, blasting Hiei backwards. Scrambling out of the crater, I felt the energy loss. It was way worse than I thought. I had never done something like that. If only I had actually used my magic for the years leading up to this. Maybe I'd know my limits.

Grabbing a witch ball from my bag and looking around for Hiei, I tried to get a small amount of my energy back. There was a pile of rubble across the ring. That had to be where Hiei was. A wave of heat pulsed through the arena and the concrete chunks flew at me. I hit the floor, ducking.

Hiei emerged, a dark, burning aura surrounding him. I was terrified. He was pissed. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. I struggled to keep my face straight as I shook.

In a flash, he was right in my face. "You want to win? Commit." A fist hit my chest. With a loud crack I landed in the stands, surrounded by jeering demons. I pushed up, glaring at him. He thought I wasn't committed to this? He had no fucking idea how much I wanted it. How fucking dare he?

I jumped into the ring. If looks could kill, he and I would both be on the ground. "You think I'm not committed?" I demanded, drawing one of my daggers. "You have no fucking idea how committed I am." My voice had become a hiss as I slashed at him. He was dodging me effortlessly, like this was babysitting and I was the annoying five-year-old that wanted to roughhouse.

"I know you're not," he snapped, retaliating with a bitch slap. There was no other word for it. I fell to the ground, face stinging. "If you were committed, you'd be trying to kill me. You wouldn't be trapped by your senseless guilt. You're not even worth a fight." The words stung more than my face. His opinion shouldn't have mattered, but he was right.

I pushed myself onto my knees, gripping my dagger tight. I knew what I was going to have to do. That fucker wanted to say I wasn't dedicated to this? I knew I wasn't going to win. So I had to pull out all the stops. He towered over me and the ultimate disrespect of his tone and the slap was fueling both shame and anger in me.

"You don't know what I'm fighting for," I whispered, drawing my dagger across my palm. "This is more important than I am." Blood started to drip from my palm.

Hiei scoffed. "The wife and daughter of your teammate? You never shut up about them. You have nightmares about them. Don't act like this is altruism. This is saving you from guilt." I didn't say anything. Hiei started backing me up, and I scrambled backwards. Once I was by the edge, I quickly drew a pentacle in my blood.

I bolted across the arena on a slight diagonal. Hiei followed me, and tried to hit me, but not before I could recreate the pentacle. We went around the arena, darting in a septagram. I took the hits, scrambling to the middle. I wasn't sure if Hiei knew what I was doing, but he didn't destroy any of the marks. I was beaten and bloody and that was probably all he saw.

"Get out of the ring," I muttered to Koto as I scribbled a mark of Solomon the centre. It wasn't for a particular demon, but it would do. Koto ran as I walked back to the edge of the ring. I pulled the wand I'd made before for the curse from my bag.

Damon looked at me, and to the wand and back. "Finley, no! Don't fucking do this!"

I ignored him, looking Hiei dead in the eyes. He was standing two steps from the center of the seal in the ring. I tossed the wand at him, the bundle landing in the center of the circle. I just needed him to pick it up.

Two steps forward and he kicked it into his hand in one smooth motion, examining it. Thank god.

"I don't know if this is a thing in Japan, but back home there's this popular saying," I started. "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I made eye contact with him, letting the blood from me hand to the first pentacle I'd drawn. Tears stung my eyes, one escaping and pouring down my cheek. "I don't want to see myself become the villain." He narrowed his eyes and I started the spell.

" _I bind your body, I bind your soul. Demons that haunt you now become whole._ " It didn't rhyme in Scottish, but it didn't matter. I'd written it in English and translated it for my work. " _I offer my energy, I offer my life. To leave you in dark, to leave you in strife. I bring you the demons with whom you won't cope, I take your life and I take your hope._ " I repeated the words over and over, energy draining from me. Hiei struggled in the center of the ring. He couldn't move. Tears poured down my face as I chanted and my voice cracked.

Wind started to whip up, the arena plunging into darkness. Then the light came.

Towering figures of light came from each pentacle, glowing bright blue. Shadows of the huge paper people figures sprawled across the panicking audience. I just kept chanting. My mouth was moving independent of itself. I couldn't stop it, though my heart was fluttering like mad.

The figures joined hands, moving and dancing around the ring. A loud ringing filled my ears, screaming. Demons in the crowd started bolting, and those who didn't go fast enough gripped their heads in pain. Their mouths were open in screams, but I couldn't hear them.

I knew where the images came from. You base a spell of Seven Devils and Howl's Moving Castle, and it was unsurprising. But I didn't think that I was capable of doing something like this. Something so intense. So real. The figures drew closer and closer to Hiei, shrinking to close over him.

To his credit, he didn't scream. If I was him, I would've. He might not have been able to. The energy was rapidly fading from me. I hadn't felt it until the figures closed over Hiei, masking him in a bright dome of light. The screaming in the crowd stopped, and so had the ringing. The light had returned to the arena. The only remainders of my spell were the dome of light and my rapidly diminishing energy. Koto climbed back into the ring, and looked around.

"I guess Hiei is down," she stated. "I'll start the count. One! Two! Three!"

I had won. I just had to stay up for another 7 seconds. It wasn't much longer. My head was swimming, blood rushing away from it. I just had to hold on.

There was a flare of familiar, warm energy and the dome started to pulse wildly. Something was moving under the surface. Koto stopped counting and both of us stared at it. My legs were shaking. Something was trying to escape from it. It didn't feel like Hiei. It felt powerful and dark, almost evil.

The dome exploded, waves of the dark energy and wind forced me down on my knees. The ringing was back, though it had become closer to screaming. The light people were dying, for lack of better term. I flew back a few feet, barely staying in the ring. And then I looked up.

A massive dragon had erupted from the dome, my energy leaving me in a rush. The burning dragon was coming from Hiei. I could barely hear him yelling, "Dragon of the Darkness Flame!" No fucking way. That was what I had felt crawling just underneath the surface of his energy. A fucking dragon. Of darkness. I had never stood a chance against him. A small sad smile crossed my face through the tears.

My vision started to go black, wavering and shaking. Everything was cloudy. My limbs were heavy. The weak beating of my heart filled my ears, getting weaker and weaker. The last thing I saw was Hiei emerging from the clearing smoke.

Then everything went dark.

At least I got to try to be a hero.

* * *

Well that's it for the Dark Tournament! And yes, this is how I'm ending it.

A side question that I would like your guys' opinions on, however. I have been thinking of doing separate POVs for some characters in the future, just as little third person insights to everything else that's going on. If you guys would be interested in that being included as we go, or if you only want to see things from Fin's POV, please let me know. I kept it with Fin for the Tournament, but it may be time for the occasional branch out. I'll still be writing them for myself either way.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to leave any comments and reviews, they are really appreciated. :)

Have a great day!


	11. Chapter 11:Coming Home

Hi guys!

It has been a batshit crazy week for me. Exams have been kicking my ass and it's been a bad mental health week overall. I'm sorry for not uploading this last week, but school had to come first. I know any of you going through exams or who have gone through them know what I mean here.

On the brighter side, this has been an awesome week in terms of support from you guys. Every time I got a notification telling me that someone had followed, favourited or reviewed it made me so happy. You guys are amazing. We also cracked 1000 views and this chapter has cracked 50,000 words (in my unedited word document) which is easily the longest story I've ever written.

Thank you to SpirittigerRei, zirahart, Mariana Lestrange, bluebelle94, mageian, TheBucklingBridge, Ikara-O-Kage and bai2468 for following and favouriting; and thank you to Mariana Lestrange, TheBucklingBridge, Ikara-O-Kage, Aelthya, and KiraKelsay for reviewing. Seriously, you guys rock.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

If this was heaven, I wanted a refund. If it was hell, I expected more from Hades. Either way, the afterlife was a let down.

I heard a screaming child, hushed whispers and rustling. Then the clink of glasses. My eyes were shut tight. I felt something warm and damp on my forehead. Something warm and soft was over top of me, tucked tight at my sides. I tried to open my eyes, and immediately shut them at the bright light beaming down on me.

There were some rushed mutters, some rustling and footsteps. I could feel someone come in and sit next to me. "Fin?" It was a comforting voice, a familiar one. "Fin, come on, man, wake up. You're so close, just please." I frowned, trying to open my eyes again. The stinging light made me shut them again instantly. "Guys, turn off the lights, just open a window. Ok, Fin, try again."

I tried again, blinking a few times. Blue eyes were directly in front of my face. I jerked back, going into the pillows. The blue eyes sat back, a relieved grin spreading over the face of my best friend. I turned my head, trying to get a better view of the room. There were two girls in there with us, both blue haired and smiling at us. My arms wouldn't move to lift myself up, but my mouth opened. "Wh-" My voice cracked, harsh and dry. Damon lifted me into a sitting position, one arm behind my back. A glass of water was lifted to my mouth. I drank gratefully.

"Where are we?" I asked, voice still harsh and dry, but a little better.

"Genkai's temple. You've been out for about a week," Damon explained, brushing hair away from my face. "Thank god you're alright."

"I'm sorry," I muttered, the memories of what I'd done coming flooding into my mind. The spell, Hiei, the finals of the tournament. A hand collided with the back of my head. I jolted forward and glared at my idiotic best friend. "You don't slap an injured person, jackass." I was pulled into a tight hug.

"Never, ever do that again," Damon muttered into my chest. I buried my face in the top of his hair. My arms wrapped around him, heavy and slow. I was sure that if I wasn't so tired and exhausted, I would be sobbing. Instead a few silent tears fell into brown hair and the room was quiet. I felt the fabric of my shirt start to get damp, and Damon shook in my arms. The guilt hit me like a brick. I had put him through so much.

Damon pulled back, turning to wipe away the tears. I smiled at him, not bothering to try and hide mine. Fuck knows I'd cried enough for the both of us over the past few months. "Don't try to be manly, I know you were worried."

"I wasn't worried," Damon teased. "These tears are because you woke up, I was hoping I'd get your house." I swatted at him, the small smile growing a little stronger.

"Shut up," I said. "You'd kill all my plants and you'd starve if I wasn't cooking for you. You wouldn't stand a chance."

Damon rolled his eyes. "I really wouldn't."

One of the girls cleared her throat, breaking our moment. "Sorry, Finley, but how are you doing? We've been trying to restore as much of your energy as we could, but you still took so long to wake up…" she asked, a slight English accent coming over the Japanese.

"I'm…" I paused. I wasn't sure how I felt. Everything felt slow, heavy and dull. My vision was still blurry. But I was alive, and that was better than how the spell should've left me. I had no idea why it hadn't killed me. "Good, all things considered. I'd appreciate my glasses, if Dae didn't throw them out."

There was a small huff and silver, rounded frames were pressed into my hands. Slightly flat across the top, large lenses and rounded bottoms made up the thick wire frames that I'd had for years. I slid them on and the world jolted into sharp focus and clear colours. It felt like I'd been holding my breath since I took them off and I'd finally let it go.

"I fucking hate those things," Damon muttered. "Seriously, you can see without them."

"Damon, the entire tournament was blurry. Hell, anything more than a foot away from my face was blurry. I haven't seen you clearly since you confiscated these." The girls laughed, and Damon glared at me.

I looked at the two of them, able to see them clearly. One girl had her hair in a high pony tail, with pink eyes and a bright smile. She had a bouncy, vibrant air to her. The other wore a kimono and had dark, crimson eyes. Those eyes looked familiar, though the eyes I was comparing them to I had only seen clearly once. I wasn't even sure that the image I had of them was correct.

What I said next made me seem weirder than I was sure everyone thought I was. "Wow, you guys are pretty." They laughed.

"Well, thank you!" The one with the ponytail said. "I'm Botan, and this is Yukina. We never really had the pleasure of meeting you."

"Finley," I introduced myself, though I knew they knew me. "It's nice to meet you guys."

There was knock on the door. I looked and there was Takuma. He was nearly healed, nose still a little crooked, as if it hadn't been set in time. He smirked at me, coming in to the room.

"It's nice to see you awake," he greeted. His eyes turned to Damon. "Have you told her yet?"

"No," Damon said. "I was waiting for her to be awake for more than 5 minutes."

I looked between the two. "Tell me what?" Damon sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. Takuma looked down, refusing to meet my eyes. "Guys? What?"

"It's Kimiko and Sayuri." My eyes shot wide. Were they dead? Did they get hurt? Damon raised his hands, trying to calm me as my heart rate shot up."They're fine. But we haven't told them yet. Takuma and I wanted to wait to see what you wanted to do. Koenma told us that they are back in the country, though. That's all we know." I fell back into the pillows. I knew that I wanted to be the one to tell them what had happened. We had Shoku's remains, the story of what had happened and because we had lost they were likely to be killed. If we got to them fast enough, maybe I could ward them, protect them from the people who had organized the tournament. I didn't want them to get hurt.

Takuma looked at me. "They're going to be fine, Finley. No one is going to hurt them."

"You can't say that," I whispered. "We lost. They're fucked." _And it's all my fault._ I didn't say it, but everyone heard it.

Damon shook his head. "No, they're not. They're going to be fine. We may have lost but you still got your wish."

"How?" I demanded. Everyone in the room went silent. The girls slipped out, and my teammates wouldn't look at me. Then I felt the warm energy of the fire demon I was so familiar with.

Hiei was leaning on the doorway, staring at me. I looked at him, then back to Takuma and Damon. Takuma wasn't looking at me, and Damon shot me the biggest shit eating grin I'd seen on him a long time. I frowned, looking back to the fire demon.

"You tried to kill me," Hiei stated. My jaw dropped, and denial immediately started up. I wasn't even sure what the spell was going to do. I didn't think it would kill him. That wasn't the intent of the spell. Though I supposed it didn't matter, considering I didn't write what the spell was supposed to do. The only idea I had was that it was supposed to strip someone of their power. "You were prepared to die." That wasn't wrong.

Then it hit me. "You…" I stared at him. "You saved them." Gratitude for the fire demon flooded me. So much for being all bad.

"Congratulations. You committed." With that, he turned and left. My heart pounded in my chest. My face was hot and surely red. Fuck. He was hotter with my glasses on and I wasn't prepared for it. I don't think anyone was prepared for it. The sharp jawline, the striking eyes and muscular body were more on place on a magazine cover, not reality.

Damon looked at me with his stupid grin. "Lady boner," He coughed into his fist. I glared at him. He wasn't wrong, but I wasn't about to admit that. We had more important things to be worried about than an extremely attractive fire demon.

"Fuck off." I sat up, arms shaking. "I have to call Kimiko." Damon and Takuma both put hands on my shoulders and pushed me down.

"Not yet. You just woke up," Damon chided. "Let's keep you that way for a few hours, ok?" I sighed. He was right, unfortunately. I wanted to deal with the issue immediately even though I wasn't sure I would handle it well. It just needed to be handled. The second they were gone I was going to call them.

* * *

The phone was staring me down. It was a call I didn't want to make. I'd been on the receiving end of the call before and it was one of the worst calls you could get. It was one that made everything else stop and while the world didn't end, it felt like it did. That one phone call made you realize that you had to change your life to fit the hole that the person had left in your life.

All I could think of was that with this call I would be taking away any hope that Shoku was still alive. This would be the final acknowledgment that he really was dead, that a little girl was fatherless and that there was a family alone in the world.

I held the number on a crumpled piece of paper, Shoku's handwriting messy but legible. I had the number memorized, but that didn't change anything. There was still the hesitation.

I grabbed the phone, my fingers pressing the buttons with a mind of their own.

It rang twice before there was a click. "Hello, this is the Akiyama residence." The woman had an older voice, clearly someone in their late-twenties, early thirties.

"Um, hello," I greeted, stammering a little. "My name is Finley Conneigan, would this be Kimiko?"

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line. "Oh my… Is he…"

"I'm calling about Shoku," I said softly. "I'm sorry to say-"

"He… he didn't make it," she finished for me. "I was afraid… He hasn't contacted us in so long. I should've known." I could hear the tears, the cracking voice. My heart shattered with it.

"H-he didn't," I said, tears starting to fall from my eyes. There was silence as we both cried on our respective sides. "If possible, we would like to come and offer our condolences."

"Of course, of course." Her flustered voice kept shaking and breaking. I tried to keep mine from doing wavering, though I wasn't doing a good job. "Um. Would Thursday work?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," I said. She gave me the address and we said our goodbyes. I hung up and allowed myself to burst into tears. Apologizing was a waste of time. It didn't make anything better. If anything, it made it worse. I had hated everyone that apologized to me when my parents had died, and I didn't want to be that guy.

There was a knock on the door. I look up, wiping away the tears. Ame poked her head in, smiling at me, almost a sad look in her eyes. I tried to smile back, but broke down into ugly tears. She rushed to me, sitting on the bed and pulling me into a tight hug. She kept muttering comforts that didn't quiet make it past my ears. I just kept thinking about how I'd ruined their lives.

How Sayuri was going to come home and hear that her dad was never coming back. How Kimiko was going to raise her little girl alone. How it was all my fault. It didn't matter that I wasn't the one who pulled the trigger, I still felt responsible. In my mind, I was.

I eventually got myself together enough to go and deal with Damon and Takuma. Ame guided me through the temple.

"It's going to be fine, you know," she said. "They will be. All you need to know is that they're safe." I shook my head.

"No… it's not enough," I whispered. "I need to make them safe." I already knew that I was going to ward them. Or at least offer to. I didn't want them to get hurt and I didn't trust those fuckers who had started the tournament to leave them alone. I had a sinking feeling that they weren't done with me yet, but they weren't going after Kimiko and Sayuri if I had anything to say about it.

* * *

Damon and Takuma were sitting in the main living room of the temple, chatting with Yusuke and Kuwabara. They looked at me, and Damon immediately stood. Takuma watched carefully.

"We're going to meet them on Thursday," I said, struggling to keep my voice level with all the pitying gazes directed at me. "Takuma, are you going to the Makai?" He nodded. "When?"

"Saturday. We just made the plans," he answered. "I'm assuming you're asking because you want me to come with you."

"Damon doesn't have a choice and if you're not leaving yet, neither do you," I said with a smile. "I'm sure they'd appreciate it."

He just rolled his eyes. "I was planning on coming anyways, but it's nice to know it wasn't a choice."

Damon looked at me cautiously. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, Dae, I'm fine." Fine meant totally not fine, and he knew that. Damon knew that even if something was bothering me, I wasn't going to talk about it until I had to. I was a pro at bottling shit up and not dealing with it. It was probably my greatest talent. Luckily, Yukina interrupted the moment with supper.

Everyone gathered to eat, except for Hiei. He was still AWHOL. No one questioned it, so I guessed that it was normal for him to skip eating with the family. I knew that soon enough I was going to go home but I still wanted to thank him. It was the least I could do, considering everything that he had done for me, though perhaps without intent.

Everyone finished eating and I helped Yukina and Ame clean up.

"Um, is Hiei going to eat?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's just training. I'll run something out to him," Ame said. "I think he had been waiting to see if you'd wake up before he went."

I paused. "I'll run it out, if that's ok." I knew that Damon would want to go home as soon as we could, and it was important that I talk to Hiei. Or try to.

Ame and Yukina shared at look as Yukina plated a bunch of food. "Alright. Just follow his energy, he never bothers to hide it at the temple," Ame said.

Yukina handed the plate to me. "And make sure you announce yourself. It's like he's entirely in his mind when he trains, he may attack you by accident." I nodded, and plate of food in hand I left the temple. Hiei's energy wasn't hard to follow.

It was clear, though, who's eyes Yukina's reminded me of. They were the same eyes that Hiei had. I wasn't sure if they were siblings, cousins, whatever. There was no way in hell they weren't related. Mostly because from what I could tell Yukina was an ice demon. Red eyes seemed out of place on an ice demon.

* * *

Hiei was in a clearing, shirtless and swinging around a katana. With my glasses finally returned to me, I could see him clearly. It sucked that he was just as attractive as I thought he was. Probably more so, if I was being honest. He was stunning. In a manly, I-could-kill-you-in-a flash kind of way.

"Hi," I said. He didn't stop swinging. I sighed, sitting down by a tree. He'd stop when he was ready.

Hiei slowed, walking up to me. I held the plate to him. Without a word, he took it and flitted into the tree above me. His energy was like a warm sweater and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to leave it.

"Your obsession with my energy is disturbing," he stated.

I jumped slightly. "I was just..." Then it clicked. "You're a telepath? Damn, way to warn a girl, man. So not cool. Or polite."

"It's mostly pictures with you. Your thoughts are annoying." I shot an annoyed look into the tree. If that was a shot at my intelligence, it wasn't appreciated. "You think in another language, idiot." My mouth formed an o, head nodding slightly. That made sense. My thoughts were in English most of the time. Unless I was actually speaking another language, my mind went to my first one. Living with Damon didn't help, as we both tended to slip into English when we were talking to each other. It was something I could see pissing off a telepath that didn't speak English. Especially since my inner monologue never stopped and Damon didn't know how to shut up.

"Right. Sorry about that, I speak three languages. Everything gets a little jumbled…" I chuckled, face heating up. "Anyways, I wanted to thank you." There was silence after that, so I just continued. "I know that you probably don't care, but without you kind of being a dick, I wouldn't have been able to get through the tournament." Not that I really had. "And you saved Kimiko and Sayuri. I know you guys save humans, but you didn't have to do that. And it means a lot to me. So, thank you."

There was a long pause. I hoped he was just accepting it. I needed to thank him, at least for myself. In part for Kimiko and Sayuri, since I was almost certain he'd never meet them. As long as he knew I was grateful, I was happy.

"Hey, by the way, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but are you and Yukina related?" I asked. In the blink of an eye, there was a katana pressed to my throat. "I'm gonna take that as either a hard yes or a disgusted no."

"Say anything," he hissed. "And you die."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Crystal clear. It's your business, not mine. However, from now on can we just say 'I don't want to talk about it' instead of pulling out the big guns?" He leaned back, sheathing his sword. "And just so you know, I wasn't sure. It was mostly the eyes. You have the same eyes." With a scoff, he jumped back into the tree. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

Eventually, I got up, dusting off my ass. "Well, I'm gonna head out. I'm sure Damon wants to go home. You're always welcome, by the way. If you ever need a break you can come eat our food or something. Consider it an open offer." I didn't know how far away I lived from the temple, but I doubted it was a big deal for someone as fast as Hiei.

I left after that, heart pounding in my chest. There was something about that guy that both terrified me and made me feel safe. There wasn't much hope for him becoming a friend to me, honestly, but that was fine. Knowing Damon, I'd have to be at the temple a lot. He was the social butterfly that I would never be. That meant I was going to get pushed intot he family whether I wanted to our not.

* * *

Damon was waiting on the porch, a bunch of bags next to him. Takuma was leaning against a pillar, eyes closed. I smiled at them. That was my little family and I was so happy to not be alone.

I was happy to see my grandfather's old ass truck parked in front of the temple. Damon was the only other person who was allowed to drive it, so I hoped it was him that brought it there. Though I didn't know how far away from our house we were. For all I know we were in a different part of the country.

The Urameshi team, sans Hiei, came out to say goodbye. I couldn't help but remember how nice they had all been to us. Yusuke and I hadn't engaged much, but I liked him. He seemed nice and he and Damon got on well. Kuwabara had been nice guy, though he'd beaten the crap out of Takuma. He was a human fighting who he perceived to be an evil demon though, so I couldn't be too mad. Kurama was another that I hadn't talked much to, though he seemed terrifying and kind at the same time. Ame was lovely and I had a lot of respect for her. She had been a calming motherly force and Akira had been a small bundle of joy that everyone wanted to snuggle. Botan and Yukina had been nice, though I hadn't spoken to them much. I wasn't sure if they were going to be friends in the long term, but I appreciated what they had done for us so far.

Ame pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm so happy you're ok. If it's ok, we'll drop by on Friday. Give you some time to adjust to being back home."

"Yeah, that sounds great!" I said, returning the hug. "And if you ever need a babysitter, I have a lock on my greenhouse door and I work from home." At least now I did. I loved Akira and if there was anything I was good at, it was babysitting. I had been planning on specializing in developmental psychology, kids were easy to predict for me. There was little to no guesswork.

She grinned at me. "I will absolutely take you up on that. You have no idea how often date night gets cancelled because of one thing or another. Be prepared to be my go-to sitter."

Kurama kissed her on the forehead. "That'll give us more alone time."

Akira hugged my legs, smiling up at me. "Miss Finley, you're not going away forever, right?"

"Of course not, buddy," I soothed. "We'll still hang out."

"Good. 'Cause I like you." He looked from me to his mom, then urged me to come down to his level. I bent down and he made a little cup with his hands. "Can I call you Aunt Finley?" he whispered. Tears came to my eyes. This little stinker wanted to call me his aunt. And he'd known me for less than two months.

"Aw, Akira," I said. "Yeah, of course." He grinned, hugging me tight one more time. Damon and Yusuke were chatting, Takuma was being emo in the corner and Kuwabara smiled at me and came over. The tall ginger grinned at me.

"You holding up ok?" he asked. I nodded, smiling back. "Ok. Good. I know you weren't having the best time on the island. If you need anything, call. We all gave Damon our numbers so you can contact us if anything ever goes wrong. And we'll be visiting. Expect me during exams."

I chuckled. "Bring it on. Just remember that I can't help with math. I'm useless at math, I'm good at psychology. Brains I can do, numbers I cannot." He just laughed. I wasn't offended, he didn't know how bad my math skills truly were.

A small woman with pink hair cleared her throat. "May I have a word?" I nodded, following her off to the side. I didn't know who she was, but she looked like she was about 80 years old, a little younger than my grandparents would have been. "I know this has been hard on you. You're a lot like your grandfather." I gave her a confused look. "He may have fought in the tournament, but he had all the compassion you have. Thomas had a hard time with everything he did while we fought together."

I nodded, pulling my arms tight around my chest. "I had no idea..." The woman who I assumed was Genkai nodded.

"He never would have let you. As hurt as he was, he was proud. Same as you are now. My advice," she said. "You have a group of people that care about you. Use them. Thomas never recovered fully, though he'd tell you he did. He kept everything in and all the magic that Irene had couldn't cure regret. Use the people you have and don't be too hard on yourself."

"Alright... thank you." I gave her a small smile. "You're not acting much like the Genkai they told me stories about. Gramps always said you were a hardass."

She smirked. "Just wait. I'm only being nice as a favor to them. Any other time I'll kick your ass."

"I don't doubt it." She nodded at me.

"It's time for you guys to go home, I can see your idiot friend getting antsy." She shook her head. "I don't need another dimwit, but visit. If you're anything like your grandmother, you won't piss me off too bad."

"Will do, ma'am." She rolled her eyes.

As I walked away, the old woman said something I never expected to hear. "They'd be proud of you, you know."

I turned, smiling through the pain growing in my chest. "Thank you."

Damon, Takuma and I all piled into the old truck. We made Takuma sit in the backseat. It was easier to hide a bat demon in the back of truck than sitting in the passenger seat. Hell, it would've been easier to hide him in the bed, but my grandpa's truck didn't have a cover.

That truck was comfortable for me. I had learned to drive in it when I was 15 and it still smelled like my grandfather's cologne and the protective air fresheners my grandmother had made. It was a truck that was almost as old as I was, and no matter how good the condition was I probably should have retired it. Too bad I was too stubborn to let it go.

I may not have known where we were, but the directions that Damon gave me made it easier. It turned out that my grandparent's home was only an hour and a half away from Genkai's temple. The drive was filled with familiar radio hosts talking about the world's events, pop songs playing from the top 100 list and Damon attempting to play car games that he poorly explained to a reluctant Takuma.

As I drove, I realized that it was over. I was going home. Things were looking up for us. The last of the tournament would be behind me in the next two days and while I was dreading the conversation, I wanted this to be over. I wanted all of us to get on with our lives. Damon would be able to flirt with out holding back, Takuma could go join one of the Makai lords. I could keep on living and hopefully not be bothered by any of this again, free to do magic and breathe in peace.

Driving up the road to my home was surreal. I hadn't expected to come back, let alone in one piece. The trees that lined the road blew softly in the wind, green-yellow light filtering down between the leaves. When the grey stone walls came into view my heart sped up. The iron bars of my front gate were dull in the sunlight, the twisted metal casting shadows on the dirt in front of me. I parked the truck in the trees. We all unpacked our belongings from the back of the truck and walked to the gate. It creaked in welcome as we approached. I smiled and unlocked the gate.

The dark stone bricks that made up the house were covered in vines that I'd have to trim, as they'd grown even wilder in my absence. The garden was still thriving and green, the stone statues that my grandmother had left still stood as guardians of the house. Everything was as I left it.

Damon looked over at me with a small smile. "Good to be home, eh?" I nodded, breathing in the warm, herb-scented air.

"Great to be home."

We all put our things in the living room. Damon went to go make sure his room was as he left it, Takuma went to raid the fridge and I went straight to the greenhouse. I could only hope that the sprinkler system was still functional and that the plants were still alive. A bunch of dead poisonous plants were not good and while I could've gotten someone to look after then, I felt like it was better to not let anyone normal know that I was growing an entire greenhouse full of things that could kill then. It would invite way more questions than I needed. And way more police than anyone wanted.

The greenhouse was warm and the air damp, green leaves and bright flowers still proudly standing. I sighed, dusting off the metal chair that was tucked in with all the plants. The room was where I kept the plants for spells, rituals, teas. The usual things. There were vegetables in the garden outside, along with herbs for food. Everything in the greenhouse was magical. The energy, as volatile as some of the plants were, was calm and comforting. I tucked my knees into my chest, taking deep breaths. My eyes slid shut.

I was home.

There was a knock on the glass. Takuma looked in at me, a frown on his face. "I don't know how to work your human devices." I laughed softly.

"Does that mean 'Finley, please make me food?'" I asked, standing and stretching my arms. He glared at me. "Fine, fine. Remind me to go shopping, we can't have a lot right now." Thank god for summer and the magic of harvest time. Hopefully I could throw something together.

* * *

Damon and I settled into the house easily. I wasn't sure if he planned on living with me permanently, but it was sure looking that way. It's serious when they start leaving magazines and books in your bathrooms. Especially the kind they'd normally hide from a girlfriend. That's true friendship.

He was probably just happy that I made him food and didn't make him pay rent.

The full day we had at home was mostly spent cleaning for me. The boys trained because I kicked them out of the house. I hadn't been home for a few weeks and I wanted to cleanse the entire goddamn house. That meant anyone who didn't do magic needed to get the hell out of my way or risk getting smoked. I'd blow sage and dragon's blood all over everyone without a second thought. They probably needed to be cleansed anyways.

Hell knows Damon did. I hit his bedroom twice.

The next day was what I was dreading. We woke up early in the morning to go, packing all of Shoku's belongings into the back of the truck. Damon held the urn on his lap as I drove, and Takuma was reclined in the backseat. He refused to wear a seatbelt no matter how much I yelled at him. I supposed it was a miracle we even got him into the backseat in the first place with his stupid wings.

The drive was silent. No one moved to turn on the radio, no one spoke. You could cut the air with a knife. We all knew what was coming. It wasn't something that was particularly scary, or deadly. It was just hard and painful.

No one wanted to deliver the ashes of a dead man to their spouse and child.

It was a long drive to their house. It took about three hours, give or take. I wasn't too sure where we were going, as I wasn't great with directions, but I had Damon and a GPS. Damon could read a map and was easy to ignore in favor of the GPS.

Kimiko had a nice apartment in Iwaki. The building was tall, fairly modern and a beautiful, if worn, white. They lived on the second floor, and had a cute little balcony. Damon smiled at the building.

"Reminds me of my place," he said, looking up at the building. I glared at him. "What? Do you want me to bring hookups to your house?" I rolled my eyes. It was a fair point, I really didn't need average people coming into a house full of bones, poisonous plants and the smell of incense.

I looked for the buzzer. Akiyama… Akiyama… Apartment 209. I pressed the button, heart pounding in my chest. "Hello?" Kimiko's voice came over the intercom.

"Hi, it's Finley," I said.

"Of course, come in." The door buzzed and unlocked. We all went in, and straight to the elevator. Forcing Takuma into a trench coat in the middle of summer wasn't the best, but a guy in a trench got less stares than a giant bat demon. Go figure. The few humans that we saw on up our way there gave him a weird look and moved on.

Kimiko was already at the door when we got upstairs, a little girl poking her head around her legs. Kimiko was a conservatively dressed woman, in a knee-length white skirt and pale pink tee-shirt. She had long black hair that hit her about mid waist. I had to wonder how she and Shoku had ever gotten together. Shoku had told me she was a teacher. I figured she had gone back when Shoku had to leave, but how did a giant rock demon meet a friendly conservative elementary school teacher?

The little girl poking out from behind her legs was adorable. Kimiko had light brown eyes, but Sayuri had her father's. It looked like she had been playing dress-up, as she was wearing a pale pink tutu and what looked to be a Batman cape. She had shorter hair, as dark as her mother's, that was tied into little pigtails. Her skin wasn't rock-like, but it did have the slightest grey tinge to it. Most people would just assume that she didn't get enough sun.

"Hello," I greeted, voice low.

Kimiko nodded. "Hello…" She looked over all the things that we had. Her eyes shone with tears. "Thank you for bringing everything…" I nodded. She invited us in. We stepped in to the clean apartment.

The place was mostly light wood and pristine white. The walls were decorated with family photos and crayon, marker and pencil crayon drawings that I assumed Sayuri made. They seemed pretty consistent with the one that Shoku had kept on his nightstand. He was featured in many of them as a grey man wearing a red cape, holding hands with a little girl in a crown and a blue cape. That was now explained by Sayuri's blue cape with the yellow Bat symbol.

When Takuma took off his coat, Kimiko jumped and Sayuri stared at him in horror and awe. Sayuri seemed to think he was awesome and followed him into the living room like a puppy, staring at his wings. It was so cute.

Kimiko went through all of the things we'd brought her, mostly his clothes and a couple papers. Sayuri tugged on Takuma and pulled him off, and tugged on Damon's shirt until he followed along. I laughed, watching them go. Sayuri came back to look at me.

"Do you want to play?" she asked, voice quiet. She was very take charge with the boys, which didn't surprise me. Her father would have done anything she asked, she was probably used to having people wrapped around her little finger.

"Sure, but is it ok if I talk to your mom for a bit first?" I asked. I wasn't going to turn her down, but I had to answer any questions that Kimiko had. She had to have a couple.

Sayuri nodded, a serious stare on her little face. "Ok. When you're done, you have to come and join the tea party." With that, she left, cape flowing behind her. She was making Damon and Takuma sit down to a tea party. That was something I never though I'd see.

"How did you and Shoku meet?" I asked. It was a less painful way to start the conversation about her husband. At least I hoped it was.

"Oh, we met through a child at school, actually. His old boss had a child in my class," she explained. "The poor child was sick and I brought him homework so he wouldn't fall behind. Shoku was the one who opened the door. It was quite a shock." I laughed softly. I could imagine that a giant rock demon would terrify anyone, especially with no knowledge of their existence. "I fainted, and he was so sweet and apologetic. The man he worked for was a monster, but Shoku was so kind and gentle. It seemed so out of place but we fell in love.

I smiled. Shoku had never told me how they met, though I could understand why a man like Shoku had fallen for her. She was everything that he would want in someone; kind, considerate and intelligent. They were a real life Beauty and the Beast, if the Beast were a rock demon.

Kimiko and I sat in silence for a few moments. "Was it… painful?" Her voice was so soft I almost didn't hear her.

"I don't… I don't think so." Truth be told, I wasn't sure. It looked fast. He was dead when I got to him. The image of his body laying on the ground, blooding pooling from the massive hole in his chest shook me to the core. I felt the tears welling up but refused to let them fall. Kimiko didn't need anyone bursting into tears on her. She was the one who deserved to cry.

"How… how did it happen?" Her voiced cracked.

"An energy blast to the back." I shouldn't have kept going, but I did. "One of the members of our team had dragged me into the way of the blast and I ducked. It was a three on three and Shoku had gotten behind me."

She gasped, and swallowed hard. "Is the man that…"

"Killed him dead?" I asked, hoping that it was where she was going. She nodded. "Yeah. The guy that shot the attack and the one who sabotaged the team." I wasn't going to tell her how. She asked about her husband, but I wasn't going to tell her about the rest. I didn't like to think about it. The nightmares hadn't gone away yet.

She nodded, shaking as the tears fell down her face. "Are we going to be safe?"

"Yes." I pulled out a small box from my purse. "We didn't win, but those who did made sure you're safe. And I brought protection charms for you and Sayuri. I want to make sure you're both as safe as possible." I took out a small leather sachet, and two plain silver link bracelets. I always had jewelry like that around my house to enchant, and I'd turned them into protective charms for the girls.

She took them, a confused frown on her face. "I don't understand…"

"I'm a witch." Brown eyes shot wide. "I know. I'm the good kind, I promise. These will help keep you guys safe from anything that could hurt you. The sachet it for the house and the bracelets are for when you're not here." She smiled at me, though it was still confused.

"Thank you. I don't know much about these things, but Shoku said you were strong when he called." Hadn't mentioned the witchcraft, apparently. "I trust you. Thank you for bringing us everything." I smiled, nodding at her.

"It was the least I could do. The guys would never say it, but he was a good friend to all of us. We all relied on him to keep us together." I swallowed hard, a tear burning down my cheek. "He was a great man." She nodded. Both of us were crying now, as much as we were both trying to hide it.

A small voice came out into the room. "Mommy, what's wrong?" We both looked up to see Sayuri looking into the room.

"Nothing, honey, Finley and I were just talking about daddy."

Sayuri nodded, coming to hug her mother. "It's ok mommy. Daddy's a superhero. Sometimes superheroes have to go away, like Superman. He's probably saving people right now." Big, familiar eyes looked at me. "Will you come play now?"

"Yeah, I just have to use your restroom if that's ok?" Kimiko nodded and pointed me in the direction of the washroom. I locked the door behind me, pressing my back to the hard wood. Tears poured from my eyes as I slid to the floor. My body shook with gasps and sobs. I bit my hand to keep myself quiet. I couldn't imagine how hard this must have been for Kimiko. Her daughter didn't full understand that her father was dead, and she was along to raise her baby girl alone. She was only five years old. Sayuri probably wouldn't have any memories of her father after she grew up.

My chest burned and the dull pounding filled my head. Crying always brought on intense headaches. It was nothing compared to the guilt I felt for bringing this pain to their family. That poor woman had lost the love of her life and that poor child would never get to see her Superman again.

I cleaned myself up after a few minutes. Red veins still shot through my eyes, but I had a feeling Sayuri wouldn't notice. Damon and Takuma would, but I knew they wouldn't comment on it.

When I arrived to the tea party, I had to bite down on my fist to stop myself from laughing.

Damon wore a blue tutu, and had a golden tiara on his head. On his lap was a giant Captain America shield. He delicately sipped fake tea from a pink plastic cup. He was being very polite to Sayuri and the other teddy bear guests of her tea party.

Takuma, on the other hand, was pouting. And it looked hilarious paired with the purple tutu and the flower crown that Sayuri had no doubt forced on him. There was a black and red cape tied around his neck. The bat demon wasn't indulging in the tea party, but simply sat there, looking as thoroughly displeased as he could possibly accomplish.

I pulled out my cellphone, taking pictures of the two of them. This was something I was going to forever treasure. "Wow, don't you guys look pretty?" I asked, grinning.

Damon puffed out his chest. "I'm Princess America, thank you very much. Show me some respect." He flexed, waving the shield around.

"Princess America, you're going to spill your tea," Sayuri chided. She looked at me very seriously. "I'm Princess Batman, and that's Princess Hulk. I don't have a green cape." That explained Takuma's costume a little more. "You get to be…." She dug through her costumes and pulled out a blue crown and red tutu. "Princess Spiderman." She handed me the pieces and added a pair of red gloves. I took them, getting into costume.

I joined the tea party. "I must say, I like being Princess Spiderman."

"I like it too," the little girl said. "Daddy is a superhero and he always calls Mommy his queen. So I'm a superhero princess. You can be one too."

I grinned. "Why, thank you. The best kind of princess to be is the superhero kind. Like Sailor Moon."

"I like her. I don't like Tuxedo Mask though," she stated, pouring me the tea. "That's fairy tea. It makes your superpowers stronger."

"That's good, my Spidey Sense isn't doing so hot," I stated. "What about you, Princess America, do you feel stronger?"

Damon grinned at me. "The strongest I've ever felt. And this tutu brings out my eyes." Sayuri nodded, grinning. Then she turned to Takuma.

"Princess Hulk, you have to drink your fairy tea or you won't be able to be strong!" she said, frowning at the bat demon. "We gotta stop Loki from destroying the city!"

"I'm not a princess." I swatted Takuma's arm. Damon just burst into laughter.

"Come on, Princess Hulk, you're the prettiest princess besides Princess Batman!" he cheered. "Drink your tea."

* * *

After a few hours, it was time for us to leave. We stood at the door, saying out goodbyes to the family of our departed friend.

"If you guys ever need anything, just call us," I said, handing Kimiko my number on a piece of paper. "For anything."

She nodded, smiling and holding Sayuri close. "OF course. Thank you." Sayuri looked up at me wither big eyes.

"Princess Spiderman, you'll come back to play, right?" she asked, tugging on the hem of her tutu.

"Sure, Princess Batman. You just gotta ask your mom, ok? She can call me whenever you have time to play." Kimiko and I shared a smile. I loved that little girl. She was so different from her father, but I understood how he'd loved her. She was stubborn and sweet; she had us all wrapped around her finger in a heartbeat.

She hugged me tight around the legs. I returned the hug. After a final goodbye, we were back in the car and on our way home.

* * *

This car ride was easier on all of us. I played music from my iPod and while none of us were happy, we sang along to the familiar songs like we were. A weight had been lifted off us at the end of the day and it felt… better. Things were going to get better for us.

Takuma was going to the Makai, to join one of the Makai Lords. Damon was going to keep on hitting on anything that moved on two legs and was conventionally attractive. He'd continue stealing my food and leaving porn magazines in my bathroom. I would keep on trucking. I'd do magic, I'd cook, I'd read. I'd deal with the nightmares. Everything would be ok.

Nothing could get worse.

* * *

That's it for this chapter! This one was particularly long to make up for the lack of an update last week.

Finley got her last bit of closure with Shoku's family. I'll be honest, that was a fun section for me to write. As heartbreaking as it was, I actually know kids who react to losing a parent like Sayuri did.

Also, I've gotten mixed feelings on the idea of multiple POVs. Only FInley would be in first person, as this is truly her story, but sometimes I feel it's helpful to see what's going on with other characters from a 3rd person POV. Since it's fairly split, I've decided that I'm going to test it out a bit in the next chapters and see how you guys like it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Feel free to leave any reviews or comments. Have a great day! :)


	12. Chapter 12: Dog Days are Over

Hi guys!

I am officially done my first year of university! Yay! Now I will have more free time so uploads will be more consistent, which is exciting to me because time was not something I've had much of the past few weeks. And as my grades roll in, it's extremely relaxing to know that I can move into next year without stressing about what I'm going to do with my degree.

You guys really seemed to love the last chapter, which I'm so happy for. I loved writing it and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks to Aelthya, Leahcar-Soutaichou, and Sweet Sprinks for reviewing; and mwacha, cocobyrd87, animelover56348, MaskingYourIdentity, and Crystal Gem Emerald for following the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Life went on.

Takuma had left us, moving to the Makai to join Mukuro's army. Damon lived with me. He left every other day to go take care of his energy needs. The three weeks he had only had sex dreams for fuel had taken a toll on him. He needed more energy than he was getting and it helped that his best way of getting energy was a fun activity. It was also fairly easy for him to get a partner, seeing as he was a cambion who was also very pretty. The dude was built for sex.

The house being empty was hard on me. It was quiet, lonely. My nightmares kept up, the same blood-filled reruns of the tournament and the same taunting voices blaming me for their deaths. I was constantly on edge, like any second the voices would leak into my reality or another group of demons would be just around the corner to kill me again. I'd hear a creak and jump a mile.

For someone who had spent her entire life around the supernatural and had a few good ghost friends back home, I was utterly unprepared for the ghosts that haunted my own mind. I was used to my own voice telling me I was inadequate and that life was pointless. Depression I could deal with. These new voices were worse, even more unrelenting than my own.

After a week, I was visited by a few members of the Urameshi team. That is, Ame and Akira.

When the doorbell rang, I jumped, looking around the house. I wasn't expecting guests, and Damon had a key to the front gate, though he did just jump over the wall half the time. I accepted my idiot friend's antics. Even if it scared me.

I walked out to the front gate and was relieved to see Ame and Akira smiling at me. The second I opened the gate I had a small child attack my legs. I hugged him back, laughing softly.

"We decided to come visit," Ame said. "Sorry we didn't call first, he was just too excited to come see you and it was spur of the moment." I smiled at her.

"No worries. I'm happy to see you guys, come on in."

I was shy about the state of my house. I had knick knacks everywhere, gathered from markets and occult shops over the years, along with the items left behind by my grandparents. It was very cluttered, but it was home. Akira looked at everything like it was a new toy, and Ame looked over everything with a smile. I made some tea, and gave Akira some apple juice. And made sure the greenhouse doors were locked. It was safer for Akira.

"This is exactly like I pictured your home," Ame said. "It's beautiful."

"Thanks," I said, sitting across from her with my cup of tea. "My grandparents built it, I think they had good taste."

"The Death Star cookie jar was theirs?" she teased with a smile.

"Yeah, actually. Grandpa and my dad were huge nerds. The Harry Potter stuff is mine," I explained. "Anything related to James Bond and GTA is Damon's, which reminds me that I have to go clear out the bathrooms." He really had to stop leaving his porn around if Akira was going to visit.

"You and Damon are that close?" she asked, picking up the problem with living with a cambion.

"He has no boundaries. I'm used to it," I said. "The house just isn't exactly Akira-friendly. I have a greenhouse of poisonous plants, for god's sake. Damon doesn't help keep it kid-friendly any more than I do."

She nodded. "Where is he anyways?"

"On a date. I'm assuming he's at his apartment by now." She gave me a confused look. "He had it before he met me, keeps it for the convenience. He just prefers to live here for some reason."

"Free food and good company?"

"Free food and bad puns," I corrected with a laugh. Akira looked at me.

"Aunt Finley, are you gonna come back to the temple?" he asked. I nodded. "Good. Cause I miss you and Uncle Kazuma is gonna bring his kitty to live there too so we can play."

I grinned. "Didn't know Kuwabara had a cat. He doesn't seem like a cat person." The dude was a giant puppy in human form, a cat was teh last thing I expected him to own.

"Yup, her name is Aikichi and she's having babies," Akira said. "We're all happy because we get kitties and they're gonna be outside cats with Grandma Genkai. I even get to name one!"

Ame nodded. "Yup. Why don't you tell Aunt Finley what you're naming one?"

"It's gonna be Shiori, after my Grandma. If I get two I'm gonna name the other one Midori."

"Those are great names," I agreed. "When I was little I had a cat named Althea." Akira made a face. "What?" I asked with a laugh.

He frowned at me seriously. "That's not a cat name. That's a people name. Or a horse name."

"Yeah, it was my grandma's cat. She liked funny names," I said. He nodded.

"Was it a funny name because she had a funny name?" he asked.

"Well, that depends," I said. "Is Irene a funny name?" He shook his head. "Then I don't think so. I think my grandma just like weird names."

We ended up letting Akira run around in my garden, after telling him not to touch any plants and not to eat anything. I was always scared that something would somehow hurt someone, and with my recent luck it wasn't impossible. It was safer to watch him and make sure he was ok.

Ame looked at me, like she was judging my reactions. "You look better. How are you doing?" It was a loaded question, but if anyone was safe to talk to it was Ame. She made me feel safe in that way only a mom could. I had always been the "mom friend" so it was nice to be on the receiving end for a change.

"Better…" I began. "It's still weird, you know? Being back with normal people, thinking about how it's all over. I still have nightmares about it. Even though I know it's over, it's like it never stopped. It's like a looped track in my head of all the people that I hurt. Doesn't help that I barely skirted death myself. Still don't know how I swung that." The events replayed in my head. The flashing lights, the bright figures dancing closer and closer to Hiei. The high-pitched ringing that filled the arena. I hadn't known what I was getting myself into, but the spell should have killed me. Even I knew that.

"We think it was because Hiei broke the spell before it was completed," Ame said. "The energy wasn't fully used up so it didn't kill you. Just barely." That sounded about right. Breaking a spell had always stopped the energy, from my experience. I hadn't ever needed to break many spells, so it wasn't a big deal. "I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. I know Kuwabara went through something similar, but he's always been a fighter. If it's any help, you can always talk to us. Or we could hook you up with a psychologist. There's a good one in the Reikai."

"Thanks…" I sighed, dragging my hand through my hair. "I think I'll pass on the shrink though. I basically am one. Talking about it increases the risk of PTSD and I really don't need another problem." It wasn't the whole truth of the matter, but it was enough to keep her and Damon off my back for a while.

"Is that better than not dealing with it?" she asked.

"Probably not. But I'll know if it gets bad enough." Though it didn't necessarily mean that I would go seek help. "For now I just want to live through it and hope it goes away. That's all I can do at the moment." No one would have diagnosed me anyways, though the nightmares had kept up for longer than the one month requirement. So far it was the only symptom that could be traced and even then it wasn't good enough. It was a perk of having a psych degree. I absolutely did what I wasn't supposed to do, that is diagnosing myself. But it also helped me figure out if I was going to need help. Even if I didn't go and get it.

"Fair enough…" She looked me over. "Hiei helps, doesn't he?" I gave her a weird look. "He mentioned that you seemed more relaxed around him."

I nodded, now more confused. "Weird thing for him to bring up."

"Suichi and I were talking about you when he was at our house," she explained. "We all want to make sure you're happy in our little family. We're kind of like the mafia, once you're in you're in for life. Hiei just commented." She laughed through the explanation of the family.

"Ah," I muttered. "He does, I guess. He's a fire demon; the element that I feel safest with is fire. Hanging out with him is like being around a giant bonfire. Even knowing he's so dangerous, I feel safe around him. It's weird."

Ame chuckled. "He is a weird one. As dangerous as he is, he's not a danger to our family. He's protective, for lack of better term. You should see how he is with Akira. It's like Hiei has claimed him as his own kid. Believe me, if Hiei was actually annoyed by you feeling comforted by his energy, he wouldn't let you do it. Your mind drives him crazy but he won't turn you away."

"Yeah, apparently, he doesn't speak English. Damon and I must piss him off to high heaven," I joked.

"Something like that," she agreed. "He's used to always knowing what people are thinking, and it annoys him that he can't read either of you. I'd imagine it's like watching a foreign movie without subtitles."

I nodded. "Remind me to apologize to him for that."

She watched at her son followed around a butterfly that he had declared his servant. "He told us that you offered your house to him if he ever needed it. He sounded confused by the offer. It was nice of you to do that."

"I hope he takes me up on it," I said. "I know he probably won't, but he helped me. I wanted to pay him back somehow." She nodded.

"He probably will, honestly." Ame got a confused look for that. "You're not far from the temple, but you are still secluded. More so than Kurama and I are. We live closer to the city than you. Every now and again he needs a break from the temple. I think being around Yukina is hard for him."

"I can imagine. I guessed about Yukina and he seemed to get… not just angry. Tired." She nodded.

"I think Yukina knows. She's every bit as smart as he is and believe it or not she's got a mean streak as much as he does." I laughed in disbelief. "You haven't been around her enough. Some of the things she says are very Hiei. But I think she knows and just wants him to say something. Can't blame her."

I nodded, a small frown on my face. "Nah, you really can't…" I felt bad for Hiei. The entire story behind him was a mystery to me and I wasn't about to ask Ame. It wasn't my business and it was going to be up to one of the twins to tell me about it. I didn't know either well enough to ask, all I could do was befriend them and let them come to me if they wanted. I hadn't unlocked all of Damon's "Tragic Backstory" yet and I was his best friend. There were some things that people just didn't talk about.

* * *

It was a few more days before I saw anyone again. Ame had invited Damon and I to a barbeque at the temple over the weekend. I had spent the day before baking my ass off. It was a rude to show up to a dinner and not bring something with you. So I made Nanaimo bars and sugar cookies shaped like stars and moons. Because the only other cookie cutters I had were Pokémon and Halloween stuff and I could only be so much of a stereotype. I made sure to at least make a few Pikachu cookies for Akira, though. Kids would take whatever sugar they could get but I was sure the Pikachu cookies would be better received.

Damon and I drove up at around noon. It was the last weekend before school started up again, though it was only Kuwabara, Keiko and Akira that were going back. For me, it was the return of the good luck spells and the massive profit I got from them. Granted, they only worked if effort was put into the schoolwork, but kids tended to be scared anyways. It just boosted their profit while helping reduce stress. The less kids were stressed, the safer they were going to be from themselves.

My roommate looked me over in the car, smirking. "Someone is showing off. Going for some looks from a certain fire demon?" I glared at him. I was in a pair of high waisted shorts and a black Metallica t-shirt tied in a knot, topped off with a pair of sneakers.

"Dae, it's plus 30. I'm not going to wear jeans and a sweater for fuck's sake." He gave me a confused look. "We are in Japan. We use metric. The rest of the world uses metric, catch up."

He rolled his eyes. "Bullshit, babe. It may be hot outside but that shirt is oversized and draping off one shoulder. It's sexy. You're trying to be sexy!" An accusing finger was pointed at me in my peripheral.

"Are you trying to be an idiot, or is your natural self just becoming more prominent?" I asked, voice dull.

"Neither. Seriously, you like him." I shrugged, not denying it. Hiei was attractive, but I didn't know anything about him. I wanted to be friends with him. He was cool and had more knowledge about the Makai than I could ever hope for. Which at the very least was a good conversation point. "That's not a no, Fin."

"I know," I said, turning into the road leading up to Genkai's temple. "But it's not like it'll go anywhere. It's not anything besides thinking he's attractive, anyways. I'd rather be his friend than date him." Damon sighed.

"But you're my project! Goddammit, you need to get laid!" Damon was throwing a small hissy fit at this point.

I stopped the car at the base of the stairs, glaring at Damon. "Look, I get that you love me and want me to be happy, but please don't force this. If something happens, it'll happen. Anyways, I don't need sex."

"A vibrator doesn't equal being close to another person."

I rolled my eyes. "First, stop digging through my shit. Second, I know that. But you and I both know I have a lot more going on than most people are prepared for. I don't need to get attached to someone who won't be there." I was damaged enough. It went unsaid, but I knew Damon had heard me wake up screaming in the middle of the night. I knew he'd noticed my lack of appetite. He hadn't been around to see the paranoia, since it was way worse when I was alone, but he knew I wasn't ok. He just let me pretend that I was.

Neither of us were good at talking about our problems and both of us had a lot to keep from one another.

He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. I still think you'll be cute together."

"You keep thinking that," I said, grabbing the nanaimo bars and cookies from the back seat. "He doesn't speak English anyways."

* * *

Damon watched as Finley left the car with the Tupperware containers. The cambion sighed, opening the door. She thought he hadn't noticed how bad she was, but he had. All the energy in the world couldn't turn those nightmares into sex dreams. He had tried, but the sex lasted a few minutes before it went back to the screaming. And the return to screaming was worse when he fucked with it. He had noticed the jumping when she thought she was alone, nervous looks over her shoulder, the gasps from sudden noises.

She stopped about halfway, turning to glare at him. "Come on, we're going to be late!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he yelled back, darting up the stairs after her. In the months he'd known her, she'd become his best friend. His sister, if he was honest. They were so close he was leaving porn in her bathroom and falling asleep watching shitty movies together. After all the hell he'd gone through as a child, it was nice to have someone like her. Some family.

He didn't like to think about his childhood much. Even Finley didn't know the specifics. The most that ever came out was that his mother was killed by demons. Even that was a stretch for most people. Finley knew more about him than anyone else, but she hadn't been unable to "unlock his Tragic Backstory," as she put it. It was rocky and painful and even though he knew she could help, he couldn't bring himself to talk about it.

The last time he'd told the story it had been 3 am at a bar in Massachusetts, after one of the worst hits he'd made. Cheap whiskey and the smell of stale cigarettes had spurred it on. That human bartender had probably thought that Damon had escaped some hospital, but everything he said was true. You can't make up shit like that. It had hardened him to the point of treating everything like a joke. It worked out for him, though Finley would judge him for his poor coping mechanisms.

She couldn't say shit; hers weren't much better.

The Urameshi team was gathered in the backyard. It was nice to see them all together, as a real family. Yusuke and Kuwabara were roughhousing, Kurama was using the barbeque, Yukina and Keiko were cooking and chatting, Ame and Botan were watching Akira. Finley looked around for a moment before going to Yukina and Keiko with the cookies.

She was amazing at appearing to blend into a situation. Even with the hesitation she felt she could push through. Once you got her going, it was like you'd known her your entire life. He'd always felt awkward in those situations even though he was good at faking it. In his business, he had to be. With Finley, it was like she was your best friend from the get go. He loved her sarcastic ass and nerdy sense of humor.

"Hey, Damon!" Yusuke exclaimed, pulling away from the beaten body of Kuwabara. "How's it going?"

"Good," he said, smiling. "Fin baked, and let me tell you her Canadian bullshit is a gateway to tooth decay but they are so worth it."

Yusuke laughed. "I totally get it, man. Living with Keiko means I have to work out constantly. Are you and Fin still living together?" He nodded. "Nice. Are you two…" He looked between the two friends with a grin.

"Nah, she's like my sister. I'd rather puke out my lungs than look at her that way." Yusuke laughed.

"Don't say that to her, if she hits half a hard as Keiko you're fucked." Damon just shrugged.

"She'll make me cook for myself," he said. "So not that bad." Kuwabara joined the two, cracking his neck. "Hey, man. You look like shit."

The tall ginger had bags under his eyes and pale skin. Bruises from his roughhousing aside, he looked exhausted. He stretched, yawning. "Last minute school work before I go back. It's been keeping me up all night." He grinned at Damon. "How've you been?"

"You know, hitting on anything that moves, getting ass. The usual." The human made a face. Damon understood that Kuwabara had a deep respect for women, and Damon shared it. Just not in the same way. Anyone that Damon took back to him apartment knew that he wasn't looking for anything serious, whether or not they accepted it in the morning. There was a reason that he didn't leave anything breakable around the house anymore. Cleaning up glass was a pain in the ass and somehow he still managed to step on some weeks after. He made sure the sex was great and that they got into a cab safely, but that was the limit.

Yusuke burst out laughing. "Not the thing to say to Kuwabara, man! He loves women. Practically worships them."

"Shut up, Urameshi, I just think they should be treated with respect," Kuwabara defended, folding his arms over his chest.

"So do I, man. And the guys get respect, too," Damon said, enjoying the brief look of shock on their faces as he continued. "I just separate sex from my friends and family. Since sex is kind of like food." Feeding off Finley like that only worked when he fucked with her dreams, physical sex was completely off the table. He was getting more than enough now anyways, screwing with her dreams was now off limits because of her nightmares. He didn't need to make her worse.

The boys joked around for a bit while the food cooked. Everyone seemed happy and distracted. Damon eventually joined Finley in her conversation with Akira, debating with the 5 year-old which starter Pokemon was the best. They both agreed that it was Venusaur (though for wildly different reasons) while Damon stuck true to his Charizard.

What didn't escape the cambion's notice were the two demons off to the side, speaking in hushed voices. They were far enough away that Damon couldn't make out any words, but lip reading gave him something. He hadn't worked as an assassin for years without getting some super-spy skills. He could make out 'rebellion,' 'tournament,' 'Finley,' 'Makai,' and 'getting worse.' Kurama and Hiei were talking about some sort of rebellion? What did Fin have to do with that? A rebellion in the Makai didn't surprise him; the new rule hadn't been accepted well by many demons and Damon had heard much about how many demons wanted to derail the entire thing. But there was enough loyalty to the Lords that it was unlikely that anything would last very long. If there was a real rebellion brewing, one that the Tantei hadn't already put an end to, that meant the Makai was in serious trouble and if the Makai rebellion knew about Finley… Damon wasn't sure what that would mean, but witches weren't accepted in the Makai or the human world. They'd kill her on principle. Yusuke and Kuwabara joined the conversation, the team all frowning as they discussed what Damon hoped was a plan to swiftly end whatever was brewing in the Makai.

Ame came up to Damon, clearing her throat. "Food's ready! Wanna help me out Damon?" The cambion followed the demoness off to the grill to get hotdogs for Finley and himself. She had never really talked to Damon, but Finley seemed to like her a lot and she helped her. To Damon, that was enough to clear her as a good person. If Finley couldn't cry around him, she had to have someone.

"How is she?" Ame asked, looking towards the blue-haired witch as she made a burger for her son. Damon sighed. He didn't know where to begin. "She told me a bit when Akira and I visited, but something felt… off."

Damon ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah… off is a good description. Her nightmares are getting worse, she hasn't been eating or sleeping as much. She jumps at little noises. If I hadn't been living with her, I wouldn't have 's good at hiding it. I think she needs to talk to someone, but she just never opens up." Not that Damon had asked. She would have immediately called him out on how hypocritical his concern would be and he knew that communication had to be a two-way street with her. If he didn't want to open up, he couldn't expect her to.

"That does seem to be a trend in this family…" Warm eyes studied Damon. He squirmed, the odd sensation coming over him as if she was looking into his soul. It was the same leveled stare that his mother had given him when she felt he was keeping secrets from her, and seeing it on another mother scared him. It brought back memories that he didn't want to relive. "I think we all just have to find someone willing to listen to us, you know?"

"Willingness doesn't mean shit, though, does it?" Damon asked, watching his best friend play with Akira. "Not if you feel like your problems would be a burden to everyone else." He was speaking as much for Finley as for himself. They were both great at going on for hours about nothing and never really addressing the serious issues that either dealt with.

No matter how close they were, they'd need a lot of pushing or a lot of alcohol before they cracked and broke down.

* * *

Barbeques reminded me of home. They always had. Back in Canada we would have them pretty much whenever it wasn't snowing, at least my family did. Being from Alberta, we were kind of hicks, and these things were our version of family get-togethers. Everyone brought something and we all played shit versions of flag football and Red Rover where the kids were always allowed to win. It was always a shitshow, but we loved it because it was familiar.

I had always been the odd one out in my family gatherings, since I was the only witch in that half of my family. It sucked, and even though Dad tried to include me in everything, Mom's family and friends always acted like there was something a little weird about me. I was never picked first for games, I was never the go-to person for conversation. I was ok with that, people crowding me was never my thing, but as a kid being included was important. It was always a blow to self-esteem when you were left alone. Even inheriting my mother and grandmother's gifts of being friendly with everyone could only get you so far when you were a weird kid that loved creepy shit and magic.

With the Reikai Tantei, I felt like I was part of the family. Even though I mostly listened to conversations, I was included. I made polite conversation and joked around. Everyone was kind of a dork in different ways, which made things easier for me. Dorky shit was something I could get on board with and Yusuke's love for fighting and video games, Kuwabara's love of music and animals, Keiko's bookworm tendencies and Botan's love of old movies made me feel right at home. The only ones I couldn't get a read on were the demons, but I wasn't surprised by that. Kurama seemed to have a diverse range of knowledge, but I couldn't tell what he enjoyed. Ame loved everything and Akira just wanted to talk about fighting and how Venusaur was his favourite Pokemon, but he still assured me that he liked the Pikachu cookies I'd made him. Yukina and Hiei were complete mysteries. Yukina absorbed as much information as she could, often asking questions to Kuwabara when she didn't understand something. Hiei didn't even engage in the conversation at all, eating quietly with no sign he heard us at all.

What must it have been like, growing up in the Makai? There was no pop culture there, from what I could tell from Yukina. Kurama had been living in the human world, so his knowledge made sense. But to Yukina, it was like everything little thing was fascinating; some new aspect of life she'd never seen before. Like Captain America after he skipped out on 60 odd years of history.

Damon elbowed me. "Earth to Fin." I snapped out of my head, back to the conversation rather than in my head studying people. "As much as we love staring at your slightly vacant expression while you analyze us, maybe don't?" I rolled my eyes at him. It was nice of him to address me in English so no one would really know that I had been doing it. I had been zoning out a lot and I hope people hadn't noticed too much.

"Sorry." I switched back into Japanese to join the current conversation. The conversations were varied, but I focused in on Keiko and Botan's. Whenever someone was trashing the Percy Jackson movies I had to join in. They butchered that series and I would never forgive them.

* * *

We went home late that night. The group had welcomed us like we were their own and we both appreciated it. Damon and I never talked about it, but it was kind of unspoken that we'd been the two odd ones out as kids. I was a small kid witch that did weird things with bones, Barbies and Mr Potato head. Damon was a small half-incubus that grew up too fast and loved to snuggle. Both of us would have been outcast by other kids, especially in North America. I was raised in hick country, with a religious half of my mother's family that I rarely had any interaction with. Damon had never told me where he had been raised, but I hoped it was better than my upbringing. But no matter what an over affectionate little kid would not have been accepted in most places.

The sky was dark and full of stars when we pulled into the house. Damon immediately went inside to bed. I went stayed outside in the cooling air. I could feel fall coming. The air started to smell like crisp leaves and heavy rain. The rolling crack of thunder echoed form somewhere in the distance. I shook, memories flooding back into my head.

 _Kosuke was faster than I was, and it was putting me in a bad position. He knew he couldn't beat me with his electricity, so he tried to beat me through the ground. A hand wrapped around my throat, slamming me into the ground._

 _Fire. Fire. Four armed demon. Screams echoed through my ears. My vision went blurry. The dull pounding and the screaming of that first demon pounded in my head. The outline in my vision, blurry though it was, was that first demon. Grey and screaming. Fire everywhere._

 _My lungs burned, but I had to make it stop. I had to get that demon away from me. "S-spreadhadh…" I choked out, putting my hands on him. I didn't care where it started, I had to do something. Kosuke's eyes shot wide. He released me, hands clawing at his throat and chest. I shakily pushed myself to my feet. A scream tore from my opponent. His chest began to glow like red hot embers, spreading through his body._

 _It wasn't that first demon. It had been Kosuke. He had been trying to kill me, but I had been so certain that... it wasn't the first. It hadn't been._

 _A bang echoed through the stadium._

I jumped, flinching and squeezing my eyes shut. It was still so vivid. Thunderstorms used to make me feel safe; I was at home in the pouring rain and bright flashes of lightening. Had the tournament fucked me up that badly? Was I ever going to have that normalcy again?

No, I figured. Normal wasn't an option. It had left the second I moved to Japan. I was now part of a world of demons and accepting that was going to be hard. It was a world of people that wanted to kill me for existing, which after the tournament I understood. I had no idea what I was capable of, I had almost killed Hiei. I had killed demons, actual people that for all I knew had families and friends that they were never going to see again. I was just as bad as they were.

 _CRACK_! I jumped at the return of the thunder, scrambling back against the side of the house. The image off yellow eyes were burned into my eyelids. No matter how hard I squeezed them, I still saw them hovering in the dark. The clouds had rolled in fast and now rain hammered the ground, the calming noise doing little to calm my frayed nerves.

Bile rose in my throat. I leaned over the porch, the contents of my stomach emptying into a flower bush. Wet strands of blue hair clung to my forehead as I retched. The eyes were still there, watching me. Judging me.

Tears slipped down my cheeks as the rain poured over me. I still had some sort of hope that this would go away, but the nightmares hadn't stopped. Nothing I did stopped it. All the panic teas and cooking I could muster didn't help. Even the dreamless sleep spells didn't stop the nightmares for long. I got maybe 4 hours before they returned with a vengeance.

The tournament was over, but it was still killing me.

* * *

And there we go.

We're getting deeper into the plot. The interactions with the Urameshi team are fun for me to write, though I'll be perfectly honest it's hard to have a cast that big. That's part of the reason I like having a different perspective, since seeing things from the view of just Finley doesn't give everything.

I liked writing more of Damon in to this as well. He's my precious little shithead and I love him, so writing his perspective for a change was nice. Even if the vote ends up going against adding in parts like this (which I've already decided will be limited to the main squad at most) I think I'll still write it for myself. This was out littel trial run, so if you guys like it, I'll keep it. If not I just keep it to myself.

Also, what did you guys think of Hiei not being able to read Fin and Damon's minds? In any story set in this universe where the main OC isn't Japanese, I always thought it was strange that he could always just understand them, when there's no indication he could speak any other languages. Maybe it's just me, but it was always something that bugged me.

As always, feel free to leave any reviews and comments you have. Thanks for reading and have a great day guys! :)


	13. Chapter 13: Kids in the Dark

Hi guys!

I honestly don't have much to say this week. It has been a shit week for me in my personal life and I'm just glad it's over.

Thanks to mikansakura37, crazjenius73 and CaelynM for following, and DarkWolf1689 and Pein's number 1 Girl for favouritng and following. Your support really does mean the world to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

"Vervain, vervain, where the fuck is my vervain," I muttered to myself, digging through bottles of dried herbs. I had used it for something and naturally forgotten to put it back, so when I needed it, it was never where I remembered. Go figure.

I huffed, crawling up on the counter to dig through the higher shelves. I was hit by the lovely scent of pine and herbs. In the dark recesses of the cabinets were bottles of herbs, a few crystals, and a ward sachet. That was just the way of my household. No matter what I did, I always found crystals in the weirdest places and I'd been finding my grandmother's old wards tucked into every nook and cranny of the house.

The vervain was in drawer with all of my utensils, for some odd reason. I accepted that I needed to stop looking for answers.

I glared at the little bottle. "Fucking piece of shit hiding from me when I need you," I muttered as I set it on my beat up little kitchen table. It was surrounded by a bunch of little bits and pieces that I used for magic. It was a good ingredient for spells, one that I used for protection from backlash on the spells. Things happened, so in most little spells for success for others I included a little protection clause. Better safe than sorry.

As I turned back to grab a knife, I saw something out of the corner of my eye sitting on the windowsill. I looked and jumped a little, heart racing. Hiei was sitting there, one foot on the frame, leaning back like he hadn't almost given me a heart attack. I stared at him for a few seconds, hand over my heart. I hadn't been expecting him. Like at fucking all.

He raised an eyebrow at me and I snapped out of it. "Hiei, hi. You scared me." He rolled his eyes. "Assuming you needed a break?" He nodded. "Solid. You know you're allowed to actually come inside the house, right?" That earned me a glare. "Alright. If you need anything let me know. And feel free to raid the kitchen. Just assume if something has a skull on it that you don't eat it. I try not to keep poisonous shit here but it all gets moved around…." I turned back to my materials, starting to put things together.

It was a spell for a kid who was taking his final exams to determine which university he could go to. He was a nerd, so I was hiding the spell in a plastic Pokeball, no one would question why he had it if they found it. It was one of his requests. Easy to hide so no one knew he was getting help. Though he thought it would make him ace his tests, when it was closer to making remember the things that he studied. Cheating wasn't something I advocated and most spells for others had to be in conjunction with good old-fashioned hard work. Spells for myself were different, but my grandmother had smacked morals into me. The spells I did in school were more to reduce my own anxiety about exams.

I felt the eyes on me as I worked, putting ingredients together into the plastic ball. Ignoring it as best I could, I started to funnel energy into the Pokeball, muttering an incantation in Scottish. The plastic ball started to glow a pale green.

I picked it up, wrapping it in pale blue paper. One down, a few more to go that were getting delivered the next day.

Next matter of the day was baking. I'd had bread rising for an hour, and it was time to put it into the oven. Keeping myself busy had been the best way to handle the recent anxiety. I kept music from video games on in the background to keep me relaxed. It was nice to listen to the calming sounds of Lilicove City, the Water Temple, and Ecruteak City. When in doubt, listen to Pokemon music.

Footsteps walked towards me, and I felt Hiei looking over my shoulder as I cleaned the bowls. "Hiei, the bread won't be done for a while. If you're hungry, there are leftover nanaimo bars and salmon stuffed riceballs in the fridge. Help yourself," I said, drying the bowl I'd used for the bread. "There's also a huge pitcher of tea." He backed up, and I heard the fridge open and then shut. There was the slight scraping of my wooden chairs on the wooden floorboards. Putting away the cleaned dishes, I grabbed two mason jars, dumping some ice in them and pouring the iced tea from the fridge over top. I was hipster trash, and I knew it, but mason jars really were convenient for iced tea.

I sat one jar of tea in front Hiei, who was eating some of the nanaimo bars. Didn't expect him to have a sweet tooth, but to each their own. The other jar was in front of me as I finished more spells, tucking ingredients into various little trinkets that no one would suspect as being magical in any way.

Hiei watched as I worked, eyebrows drawn together. I smiled at him. "Wondering what they are?"

"Spells, obviously." He went back to eating, ignoring what I was doing.

"Yeah. They're for some students to help them get through exam season," I explained.

Red eyes narrowed. "That's cheating."

"Depends on your definition, I guess," I said. "These don't guarantee that they'll pass their exams. It's to reduce anxiety and help them remember what they've studied. They still have to do the heavy lifting, this is just an extra little push."

"A witch with morals. Fascinating." The heavy sarcasm didn't escape me. I rolled my eyes.

"Forgive me for being raised properly, Hiei. I was always taught that you don't get anywhere without working for it." I quickly muttered another incantation, the head of a Hello Kitty keychain that I'd ripped open glowing. Setting it aside, I looked at Hiei. "I didn't get my degree without working for it, the magic just helped me stay calm through the entire thing. Test anxiety is a real bitch."

"The oaf is getting one of those." I nodded. His voice hid it well, but he was clearly confused.

"Yup. Veterinary medicine, right?" Hiei nodded. "Good for him, med school of any kind is always a bitch, plus there are some animals that really don't like being around people. He'll be good at it." I finished another set, stuffing a silicone pig keychain with ingredients. "Do demons have a school system?"

He shook his head. "No need. It's kill or be killed."

"Ah, yes, the kartocracy of the Makai. Takuma gave me the basics of that. Is the government really decided by a big fighting tournament?" I asked. He nodded. "Huh. Yusuke really doesn't pay attention to politics, does he?" That earned me what I assumed was a laugh. It sounded more like a snort mixed with a cough, so slight I could barely hear it. A small smile crossed my face. I was getting somewhere with him.

We sat quietly after that. I worked on the spells, finishing up a total of 10 that I was delivering to various students in the city the next day. Hiei ate and then disappeared out the window. I could still feel him hanging around the property. It was nice to know that he was hanging around for a while.

When he finally left before dinner, I knew. It was an instant reaction teh second his energy disappeared. Out of nowhere. My chest tightened, heart rate speeding up. Cold chills poured over my body, followed by terror and panic. I hadn't realized that his being there had alleviated so much of my tension that I was nearly gasping for breath when he left. Fuck Hiei.

Damon walked in, finally returning from his latest date. He saw me on the floor, gripping the cabinets in a cold sweat. Rushing towards me, he demanded, "Fin, what the hell happened? Are you ok? Talk to me!" I just took a deep breath, shaking slightly.

"I didn't realize how much he helps…." I stammered out. I made a mental note to always have a candle going when I was alone in the house. Sure, it wasn't exactly the safest thing, but I hadn't expected the panic and cold to come rushing back as hard or fast as they did.

I knew he wasn't the only thing that helped and that I had to find things besides the fire demon that would help since I couldn't lock him up in my house without there being serious consequences, but he was like a band-aid. A temporary solution to what very well could've been a permanent problem. And holy hell did I need to find a permanent solution. It was getting out of hand.

It was sad, really, that I couldn't take care of myself. My methods of self-care were pathetic, ignoring the problems until the went away. It was Stiles Stilinski logic that never really worked. I drank a lot of tea, lost myself in fictional realities and did a lot of magic. The worlds in books were better than reality and it was easy to get lost for a few hours, though something always shook me out of it. Little noises managed to break through, sending my heart racing and my body stiff as I listened for any other noises before returning to whatever book I'd immersed myself in. It never lasted as long as I would have liked, but I tried.

* * *

Most of my nights were spent in front of a TV or laptop, watching Netflix until I passed out from exhaustion. Sleep never lasted long either. Sooner or later I was awakened by horrible nightmares, images of blood and the demons I had killed. Nothing kept them away for long. Nights topped out at about 3 hours of sleep and it showed on my face. Concealer couldn't hide the bags under my eyes. All the caffeine couldn't keep me energized for long. I was falling deeper and deeper into this routine and the heavy depression and it sucked.

That night I laid on the old couch, weathered and a godawful floral print that had a crease built into it that had molded to me over the years. It smelled like lavender. It was comforting and relaxing, soothing me.

Damon had gone out and bought new candles, all of which smelled like lavender. He was told by the internet that it helped with sleep. That was enough for him to coat the house in it. He was doing his best to help me, but it resulted in a flowery smelling house and burnt food cooked with the lavender I grew in my greenhouse. Nothing edible.

Roman Holiday played on the TV. I was never one for the more romantic movies of the time, monster movies were my favourite, but I had a weakness for Gregory Peck. The best was the scenery of Rome. I had gone for a school trip in high school and had never forgotten the experience. All that history gave me chills.

I was just a gooey-hearted nerd on the inside.

It was about 3 am when I finally drifted off. The nightmares took longer to come than usual. It usually felt that way in dreams, though so who was I to judge.

 _I felt warm and safe. Strong arms held me tight, the sound of a steady heartbeat thumping in my ears. The arms were tanned. The rough fabric of the shirt my cheek pressed against was black and so coarse I could see the individual threads without trying. I snuggled down into the chest. Heavy wood and smoke filled my nose. Whoever it was smelled amazing. The only thing that could make it better was the smell of old books._

 _"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be place on the appearance of merit or sense," a voice read. I recognized it immediately. It was warm, but still rough around the edges. It wasn't a tone I'd heard from Hiei, but it was still him. Reading the words of none other than Elizabeth Bennet. Breaking character, he scoffed. "She has a rather sound point. Why is it you like this book?"_

 _"You're a Mr. Darcy," I chuckled, looking up into the red eyes of the demon. "He's always been my favourite. And there's just something about finding love in two people that are just so cynical and done with everything that makes me love it. Don't deny that you can be just as biased das him."_

 _"I'm realistic. This is ridiculous. He's judging based on her family."_

 _"You judge people for being human or for not being as strong as you. Same thing," I said, waving my hand. "Anyways, this is a classic. It's been remade so many times for a reason."_

 _"Because it sucks?"_

 _I jerked away, swatting his arm. "Blasphemy. That's like insulting Dracula. Or the Divine Comedy. Or Harry Potter. It can't be improved upon, it's perfect!"_

 _Then things took a turn for the worse._

 _"You're not." I froze, looking at Hiei in shock. His eyes were cold and hard. "You think anyone would want to befriend a witch? Please. You're a monster. You've killed my kind."_

 _"So have you…" I stammered out, pushing away from him._

 _A cruel smirk crossed his face. "My own kind. You killed demons. I haven't killed humans. Nothing would get me out of jail for that." I backed away. He walked towards me, pushing me farther and farther back. The room hand changed from the comfort of my bedroom to the waiting room of the Tournament arena. "I killed to survive. Are you sure you didn't kill out of hatred for demons? You are a witch."_

 _"No!" I yelled back, tears welling up in my eyes. "I liked you. I like Yukina! I like Jin! They were trying to kill me! If I didn't, I would have died. I would have… died…" My voice grew weaker at the end._

 _"You tried to kill me. Even after you knew that we were going to let you out of there alive," he hissed. "It was out of spite, wasn't it?"_

 _"NO!" My hands flew to my ears, trying to block out his words. "It was to save Kimiko and Sayuri! It was my fault Shoku died! I had to protect his family!"_

 _"It is your fault I died," a voice from behind me said. I whipped around. Shoku was standing there, gaping hole in his chest and hollow eyes. My throat closed up. I couldn't get out a scream. I wanted to scream. "If you had taken that hit I would have gotten back to them. Sayuri would have her hero. I hope she avenges me." Voices started coming at me from all directions. All of them screaming at me._

 _All the blood. All the screaming. Louder. Louder. So much red._

 _"ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU KILLED US. ALL YOUR FAULT. ALL YOUR FAULT."_

I shot forward, grasping my throat. Ragged gasps and shudders wracked my body. I hadn't known what was going on at first, but it had gotten so bad so fast. So out of nowhere.

Footsteps came from up the stairs. I jerked in the direction, my back slamming into the coffee table. Fuck. Damon appeared at the foot of the steps, staring at me in shock.

"Fin, what the fuck?" he yelled, scrambling to my side. "I'm so sorry, I was trying to make it better. It looked like it was working…"

I stared into space, giving myself a moment to breathe. "What was working?"

"I tried to change your dream…" He looked down, like he was ashamed of himself. "I stopped trying to change them because it always seemed to make them worse. You'd wake up worse than ever. But it was the first time you've dreamed about that guy. I thought it was different." He brushed blue hair out of my face. "What happened?"

"He was…" I gulped. "He was the one telling me how... how… what I did." I left it at that. I couldn't cough out the words. What he had said to me in that dream was the most I had ever heard him talk and it was horrifying. Even though I knew it hadn't been Hiei, even though I knew Shoku would have never said those things in a million years, I was still going to have this hanging over me. Was I still capable of trusting anyone?

Arms wrapped around me. "It's ok, Fin. You know he doesn't really think that of you. No one does."

I curled into my friend, squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I could. "I do." It came out as barely a whisper, but the tightening of arms proved that he'd heard didn't say anything to correct me, to try and make me think differently. It wouldn't have helped. He knew that. Both of us knew that comfort could only go so far when the other didn't want to hear it.

"Well, I think you're great. But I also think that Severus Snape was a decent guy, so what do I know?" I laughed, just a little one as he joked.

With a friend like Damon, I was set. Everything was still hard. It was going to be a hard trek to make it better. I was lucky to have a friend like Damon, even if he was an asshole.

* * *

The next day, I went to the city alone. Delivering the spells was the matter of the day, and I was getting about 50-70 depending on how old the kid was. I charged more for university level kids. I had been one, I knew how strong the competition had been for entry, even with a different system in Canada. Even if it was just a "take a closer look at my application" thing, it took more magic.

I was just happy that doing them in little doses and rituals made it easier to control. No mishaps like in the tournament where things got out of control way too fast. Control was crucial and I needed to keep my shit together when doing magic. Too many things could go wrong.

It didn't help that I was paranoid and that anxiety didn't make magic any easier.

Damon had told me he was visiting the Urameshi squad while I was in town, not that he had said why. I think we both needed some time away from the heavy atmosphere of the house. It was getting to be a bit much for even us, and I knew we both had enough of our own baggage to make us pretty resilient. We just didn't talk about it.

I took advantage of the time outside the house. It wasn't often that I really bothered to make the trip into the city since I didn't work there anymore. It was easier just to stay at home and only go get groceries when necessary. There were trails around the house and I had a massive garden if i needed to get out. I didn't really need to leave most days, so I didn't.

For after school on a Friday, it wasn't too busy. There were still people wandering around, but for the most part it was dead. Good for me, however, since large crowds felt tight and cramped to me. I was able to park my truck and just walk through the streets to get some shopping done. Nothing more than extra spell supplies that I couldn't grow myself, like candles and crystals, and some groceries. Occasionally I grabbed things of the cute homewares variety, which I had a definite weakness for. It was something I needed to stop doing, according to Damon, but cute things made me feel better. I had loved Pokemon as a kid, same with Hello Kitty and Hamtaro and it was just nice to be around things that reminded me of when things sucked less. Being a kid was so much easier.

After shopping I stopped at home to drop everything off before driving up to Genkai's. Damon had run there, but I figured I could pick him up and drive him home. Who knows how much he had pissed off Genkai?

* * *

Damon glared at the Rekai Tantei, arms folded tight across his chest. He wasn't about to listen to any excuses, just answers. This rebellion had been weighing on his mind in the past days and there was nothing that was going to stop him from getting the truth. If there was something else he had to protect Finley from, he needed to know.

"Look, Damon, there's a lot that we can't say yet," Yusuke started. "We don't even know everything yet."

"Well how about this." Damon's voice was hard and angry. "Tell me what you do know. Because I saw you guys talking at the barbeque. I know that Finley is involved. If there's something that even you guys haven't stopped yet, you're going to need all the fucking help you can get."

Genkai's kitchen was silent. The woman herself was watching the conversation quietly, observing the boys as they waited to see who was going to speak next. Hiei sat on the windowsill, Kurama and Kuwabara leaned against the cabinets and Yusuke sat on the counter. Damon stood in the middle, trying to keep on the power stance. He knew there was no way to really intimidate them, at least he sure as hell wasn't scary enough, but this was a big deal. For all he knew the Tantei were keeping the entire family in the dark.

Kurama was the one to start. "You know of the regime change in the Makai, correct?" Damon nodded. "Well, many demons didn't take well to the idea of one resounding king instead of the three Lords. Some didn't like the Lords before. A few have banded together and have begun to make complications. For humans and demons. In the beginning it was vandalism, only small things. It's stepped up to fullscale raids and more recently, the Tournament."

"They were in charge of the Tournament?" Damon asked. "But that means…"

"They know about the witch," Hiei finished. "Exactly." Of course, Hiei knew that Fin was the most important part of this to Damon. Like anything else mattered to him. She was all the family he had.

Kuwabara cut in. "What's more important is that they're starting to interfere in the human world. Something like the Dark Tournament isn't ok here, especially when you involve a human and a half-human. You and Finley. It was kind of a slap in the face to us that they got it organized without us knowing, only to invite us to participate at the last second."

"We had no idea until about two weeks before the Tournament was starting," Yusuke said. His hands squeezed the edge of the granite counters. "Those fuckers organized this under our noses. We don't even know how they got into the human world."

"So these guys could be anyone, anywhere, and they're smart enough to sneak past you guys?" Damon asked. "What I'm hearing is we're fucked."

Kurama nodded. "We have our own people in the Makai looking for the camps and leaders, and we're tracking all demonic activity in Japan from the Reikai. We're doing everything we can but they can mask their energy as much as we can."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Great, so we can kind of track them, but not if they're hiding. And if they're in the Makai, there's no way you'll find them. For all you know they aren't even on the first level anymore." The room was silent, everyone looking down. "Why were you guys talking about Finley? With the rebellion in mind."

"She's a witch." That was all Hiei had to say before Damon's mind started racing. Finley was a witch. Most demons hated them, were terrified of them. Convinced that a witch could steal their energy. Sure, Finley probably could, but she was so scared of hurting anyone or anything that the likelihood of it was a million to one. Demons wouldn't see it that way.

If they knew about her… Damon didn't know what they would do, but it couldn't be good. "They could kill her."

"She's the first witch that the Makai's known of in years. Her grandmother was well hidden. She is not. Irene could have protected herself, she didn't feel like Finley does." All eyes turned to the old woman. "The last witch caught by the demons was about 70, maybe 80 years ago. It didn't end well for her."

Kurama nodded. "I was at the execution. It was a popular activity back when witches were more common. As they got more powerful it was harder to capture them. They stuck together because if they didn't they were easier to pick off. They came from all over the world, but that didn't stop us from picking them off. Demons have hunted witches almost to extinction and they went down fighting."

Pieces of granite shattered under Damon's fingers. "So Finley would die if they caught her."

"More likely she'd be tortured." Everyone turned to look at Hiei. "The rebellion has done worse than just kill the demons they've captured. We've found the bodies. They were clearly tortured before death. They tortured witches. They'd make it very public for this witch."

"They broadcasted the Dark Tournament too, didn't they?" Yusuke asked. When Kurama nodded, a frown crossed the detective's face. "Then a good chunk of the Makai already knows about her."

Damon growled. "Like they haven't done enough. They've fucking broken her to pieces already and they're just going to do worse?"

Kuwabara put a hand on the cambion's shoulder. "We aren't going to let anything happen to her. We've been keeping the family here as much as possible for that reason. None of us keep our families secret, it was way too late for that when we got involved with the Makai."

"Do they know?" Damon demanded.

"No." Yusuke's voice was hard. "And we aren't telling them yet. I'm pretty sure Ame and Botan know, cause those two know everything, but we aren't telling the others. They don't need to know until we have all the details and Fin doesn't need to know until we know there's a real threat to her. If they plan on hurting her we'll tell her and keep her safe. Hell, we'll move them all to the Reikai if we have to but until then it's too suspicious."

Damon ran a hand through his hair. "We don't need this right now…." Finley had enough going on. Her nightmares were getting worse, she was eating less, she almost never left the house even just to walk around outside. She was paranoid. Though she tried to keep busy to hide it, Damon could see right through her. It wasn't hard for him, but he couldn't keep this from her.

Fuck, on top of all this she was falling in love. With the short, pissed off fire demon that everyone agreed was shit boyfriend material even by demon standards. She hadn't realized it yet, but Damon saw all the signs. He was sure she'd never admit it. It was happening either way. Hiei wouldn't return those feelings and she didn't need that on top of the stress and anxiety she already had. If Damon had anything to say about it he'd never be around her again.

He didn't think that would fly with either the fire demon nor the witch. One showed up for free food, the other needed comfort from energy.

Red eyes zeroed in on Damon. "If there's something you want to say, say it." Damon hated telepaths. He was sure that Hiei didn't understand him, but he could recognize his own name when he was being bitched about.

Damon returned the glare. "Fine. Why were you at the house yesterday?"

"I was invited. I accepted the offer."

"Yeah," Damon said. "That's not happening anymore." Hiei's eyebrows went up, a gesture that Damon took as a challenge. _You think you can stop me?_

A small voice coughed. "Um, don't I get a say in this? It is my house." Damon whipped around. Finley was standing behind him, confused eyes staring at the cambion from behind those godawful glasses. "I like having friends around. And it's not your place to tell Hiei he can't come over."

"It's my house too, Fin," Damon defended. "And you know what happened-" All eyes snapped to Damon. Luckily Finley cut him off.

"I know. And I don't want it coming up again, Dae." He looked down. "It's my business and I'm dealing with it so please just leave it alone." Damon wasn't ashamed of what he did. The fire demon had made it worse and even if her problems weren't Hiei's fault, he wanted someone to blame because he hadn't been able to protect her from this.

Yusuke butt in next. "How much of that did you hear?"

Finley shrugged. "Just Damon being a dick. Why?"

"No reason." Damon had to stop from laughing. One eyebrow had popped over the rim of the glasses, and her mouth was raised on one side in an odd frown. The look on Fin's face was basically a giant flashing sign that read "BULLSHIT."

Thank god, she wasn't the type to push it. Damon was going to explain everything to her when they got home anyways. Didn't matter what the others thought, he couldn't hide something like this from her. They were a family and secrets didn't work out when they lived together. He wouldn't tell her everything, just the basics so she wouldn't feel left out. She'd find out all the shit he hid after a while. Depends on when it all came out.

* * *

The car ride home was almost dead silent. Damon stared out the window and I kept my eyes on the road. It was awkward. We didn't usually sit in silence, Damon would fill it with some meaningless bullshit and keep an argument going about which Disney princess would be a decent ruler. (We had both agreed after a 5-hour argument that Snow White was the worst and that Belle or Tiana were probably the best.) This was the heavy silence where we both just stayed with our own thoughts.

A nagging feeling told me that whatever put Damon in such a bad mood was whatever they had been talking about when I showed up. There had to be more to it than just Damon not liking Hiei around. I wasn't sure if I was going to ask about it. Serious things like that were a lot to handle and maybe I didn't need to hear about it. I'd trust Damon's judgement.

He followed me into the kitchen when we got home. I made tea, pouring it into obnoxiously large mugs. We sat across from each other, just waiting for the other to say something.

"So, apparently, there's a rebellion in the Makai." I frowned. I didn't know much about the Makai, but strong demons fighting for a change of government didn't sound good. Even though it was basically what Yusuke had done. "They were the ones who organized the Tournament."

"Ok. What does that mean?"

"Fin, the Makai has rules. Unless you were born here, demons have to have a lot of paperwork to come to the human world now. It's a whole big thing," Damon explained. "They managed to get here and set up a tournament that hasn't been seen in almost 10 years at this point. Without anyone noticing. And they got a human involved in it." That was me. I got that much.

After a long sip of tea, I readied myself for the next part. "So, these guys could get in and out without anyone knowing, and drag humans into this?"

"Apparently." Damon took a deep breath. "They didn't want me to tell you, but of all the people who should know you're up there. I know you're smart and can help figure shit out."

"I have a psych degree, not a take-over-the-world degree," I snapped. "Why didn't they want me to know?"

"They didn't even want to tell me; they only did because I confronted them," Damon said. "It's just how it goes. I think until they have more information they're keeping it from everyone. Which I get." His hard tone told me that it was the end of this conversation. There had to be something else, but Damon had secrets. We respected our privacy and if I asked him to open up, he'd just call me a hypocrite.

I nodded. "Fair." I nursed the cup of tea in my hands. "So, why did you go off on Hiei like that?"

Damon looked away from me. "Look, I wasn't going to stand by and let him hurt you like that. I get that he helps while he's here, but you were so bad after he left."

"That's not up to you, Damon. I have to learn how to deal and you trying to keep friends from visiting isn't going to help that." I knew he was trying to help. He was like my brother. All he wanted was to protect me. But if I didn't learn how to handle what was going on myself, I would never deal with it. Even if it kept going the way that it was.

* * *

I paced around my bedroom. It was almost 2 in the morning. Normally I'd be watching some movie or 90s sitcom by now. Instead I was walking around a fairylight lit bedroom, mind racing. The rebellion weighed on my mind. I was using it more as an excuse to not go to bed.

A rebellion made sense in my mind. It was part of how governments worked, really. There was always going to be someone who didn't like the new party in power, who didn't like a new policy, who was convinced they should separate and form their own country. Usually they were too outnumbered for anything to change, or they were just ignored. A demon rebellion had to be more like a French regime change. Someone was going to end up beheaded.

It was pretty impressive, if I was being honest. The Tantei were strong. They could kick some major ass and were regarded (According to Damon) as the strongest beings in any of the worlds. Anyone who could get past them had to be sneaky. Maybe not stronger than them, almost certainly not stronger, but clever.

Flopping into my desk chair, a wooden piece caught my eye. My guitar. Dad had played, it was how he got Mom to like him. Grandpa had played piano. Both had told me that music was important and that I was going to learn whether I wanted to or not. When I was a kid I hated it. I only started enjoying it more as I grew up. I wasn't exactly talented, it was just practice, but it made me feel good when I played. Assuming I didn't play anything that I'd seen live. I tended to cry at live shows.

It had been months since I had played. When Damon had started training me, I was asleep most of the time and when I wasn't I was training. There was no time to play. I hadn't wanted to.

Playing had been the only thing to make me feel better when my parents died. Maybe? Almost without thinking, I grabbed the guitar and walked downstairs, heading out to the porch. I sat with my feet hanging off the edge. The guitar fell across my lap. Instantly, my shoulders relaxed. I had forgotten how it felt to hold this thing. All at once, I felt better.

One strum told me it was out of tune. I didn't really care. I could always fix it later. Right now all I wanted to do was play, however bad I was. I may have only known classic rock or emo crap for the early 2000s, but I still loved all the songs I knew.

It didn't matter that Mayday Parade, A Day to Remember, All-American Rejects and My Chemical Romance were old school emo trash. It was exactly what I needed.

* * *

She couldn't sing. Not well, at least. He didn't know the song or understand the words, but he could tell that she was a bit off key and she couldn't hit all the notes. Her voice wasn't awful to listen to, it was unpolished. Her skill with the instrument was only marginally better.

Why do something if you weren't good at it?

When he showed up, she had immediately relaxed. She had attributed it to the instrument, he thought that the oaf had called it a guitar, and he wasn't going to correct her. Better to let her deal with her shit as she did without his help. The cambion hadn't been wrong about her not needing any more problems. Why the boy had told her about the rebellion but not the danger to her was understandable. If still stupid.

He still didn't know what drew him to the witch. It wasn't like she was exceptionally pretty, or talented. Wasn't bad to look at nor untalented, though. Just an average girl, a witch. One who had tried to kill him. That might have been it. Besides Mukuro and the Koorime village, he'd never had a woman try that. Most wanted to sleep with him for power. She wasn't strong enough to kill him, but he had to bring out the Dragon just to break out of her spell. Being prepared to die for her cause was something he could relate to, all of the family could. While she was weak-minded and too soft-hearted, she had tried.

In a lot of ways, she was like Yukina. No desire to harm anyone, happier helping. Just as easily affected by the cruel reality of the world. He knew how evil the world was and thought little of their optimistic attitudes. Hiei faced reality. He hadn't had much of a choice.

As she played, the raw emotion came through. She poured it out and it came loud and clear through the telepath's mind. It was the only thing he could understand from her mind, besides images. He didn't care for the expression, she was being too open. The onna held her shit close to the chest except when she was alone. In fairness, she didn't think anyone could hear her.

He could admit, at the very least, that the emotion made her voice easier to listen to.

* * *

That's it for this chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

I decided to try and write from Hiei's perspective. It was kind of fun, even though I worry about getting his character right. In fairness if you want him to have a decent conversation with anyone he has to be a little out of character, so I tried my best.

If you guys have opinions on the multiple perspectives thing as I'm writing it, I'd love to hear it. It's kind of new for me but I like writing it this way so far, but I know it can be confusing to some, so any ways to improve would be appreciated. All about that constructive criticism.

I hope you guys like this chapter, and as always feel free to leave any comments or reviews. Have a great day guys! :)


	14. Chapter 14: Something There

Hi, guys!

Holy hell is Canada hot. I know that's an oxymoron to a lot of people but I am dying and it's only +20. Don't know what I'll do in +40. I am a creature of winter, clearly. This weather does me no good. It's nice to go outside for runs, though, since that's one of my main stress outlets.

Thanks to Sassasaurus and Eternal Wanderer for following and KiraKelsay and Leachcar-Soutaichou for reviewing. You guys are awesome!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Hiei started to become a regular guest at the house. I felt like it was purely to piss off Damon after that interaction of theirs, but either way it was a way for me to get to know the standoffish demon. We didn't talk much, but it was a nice quiet friendship.

I snuggled into a thick knit blanket, sitting on the little window seat in my living room. Outside rain came down hard. It wasn't quite a typhoon, but I'd been sure to cover all the plants outside that were easily affected. It was white noise and the harsh pitter-patter that I loved, but my plants hated.

To me, it was the perfect weather to sit by the window with a cup of iced tea and a good book while wearing a giant sweater and knit socks. Even if I was a little warm, I was cozy and that's what really mattered. A hard copy of Dracula completed my little corner of happy. Damon couldn't have quiet like that, but that was fine. He needed sex and coffee, I needed books and tea. Lots of tea to keep me awake.

A knock on the front door pulled me out of John Harker's tale. Frowning, I got up, setting the tea and book down on my seat. It was raining cats and bloody dogs, who the hell was going to be visiting in this weather? Damon had a key and was busy in the city, so I knew it wasn't him. Maybe Hiei, but I couldn't imagine him being out in that weather. I couldn't imagine a fire demon drenched in water.

Opening the door, however, proved me wrong. There was Hiei, soaked to the bone and glaring at me. "All your windows are closed." I stared at him for a moment before rushing him inside.

"Of course they are, it's pouring!" I exclaimed. "Stay there, I'll get you a towel." I darted off to my bathroom and grabbed the demon a fluffy blue towel. He was standing in my entry-way dripping water and I wrapped him in piece of cotton. "Seriously, Hiei, you're gonna get sick."

"Demons don't get human illnesses." I rolled my eyes. It didn't matter to me what he thought. I rubbed the towel over his hair, shaking my head. What an idiot. My caretaker instincts took over and he didn't have a say in that.

"Let me be concerned for you," I said, walking into the kitchen. "You're having a cup of tea; you much be freezing." I ignored the muttering of protests that I heard and poured him a hot cup of black vanilla tea. He preferred everything sweet, it turned out, and it helped that all my weird teas that I bought online catered to every tea taste. I went for teas that weren't overly sweet and it was nice to have someone drain the sugary shit out of my cupboards. Though when I had told Damon I preferred tea 'as dark and bitter as my soul' he had made me a cup of the sweetest, tooth decaying vanilla tea I had. I was only slightly offended.

I shoved the mug into Hiei's hands, looking him over. "If you want, I can grab you some of Damon's clothes and we can put yours in the wash." He nodded. "Ok. I'll grab them and you can change in the bathroom or something."

Footsteps followed me up to Damon's room. On my top floor, there wasn't really much to see. There were pictures of my family, mostly my father, myself and my grandparents. Mom was never featured too heavily, but grandma had never liked her much and the feelings had been mutual. There were plants in the corners, where I knew some of the old wards were hidden in the soil. Aside from that there were four doors. One lead to my room, which had been my grandparents as one point. Another led to Damon's room, though the guest room separated us. We both agreed that was for the best. At the opposite the guest room was the door to the bathroom. There was an en-suite in my grandparent's old room, which was why I had chosen it. Damon and I didn't need to share a bathroom, and it was easier for me to do spells in my own room. That way Damon never had to pee while I was doing a bath spell.

It wasn't heavily decorated by any means, but it worked for Damon. He had a few books, some porn magazines, a little box that I'd never seen the contents of. On his nightstand there was a picture of Shoku, Takuma, Damon and I, along with a picture of just two of us. His bed sheets were a plain navy, the walls were a pale grey. He had a little desk that was almost growing dust, if not for the one candle that was sat on it. It had been a while since I had gone in the room, but the lavender-chamomile candle he had implied that he too was having trouble sleeping. Could have just been here, but I didn't know how often he slept at his apartment. I made a mental note to add a plant or something to the room for a little color and air. Plants had always helped me sleep.

Looking into his closet, I pulled out a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a black tee-shirt. Damon was taller than Hiei, so the clothes would be a little baggy, but it would work until his clothes were clean. I tossed them at Hiei. He gave them a dirty look and left the room to go to the bathroom. It would have to work until his were dry.

I waited outside the bathroom until Hiei came out. He looked ridiculous in Damon's clothes, they were too long and ill-fitting. He would have looked great if he had human-style clothes that fit him properly. Not that he didn't look amazing in anything, it was just comical to see him in too big clothes.

He glared at me, shoving a ball of dirty black cloth at me. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" I asked, turning to walk down the hall.

"These clothes are idiotic. No need to study it." I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, sorry," I said. "If you're hungry you can go eat." I walked down the stairs and into the laundry room through the kitchen. Laundry was almost an automatic action for me. I had done it far too often before the tournament. Damon went hard and the constant scrapes and bruises meant that along with the sweat there was blood on my clothes, too. I did all I could to get it out but some were still binned by the end of it. All the clothes I had during the Tournament had been donated to charity. No one else would have the memories with them that I had. There were also turtlenecks gathering dust in my closet, but that was because things touching my neck were a no-go. Little triggers set me off and I hated it. I couldn't even wear chokers anymore, and being hipster trash like I was, I was missing a substantial part of my wardrobe.

It hadn't been without trying. The second I tried to put one on after the tournament I had seen flashes of yellow eyes. It wasn't quite as bad as when it had happened in the tournament, but I had still torched a little knotweed plant by accident. After that I avoided anything getting close to my neck.

A shudder went up my spine. No time to be thinking about that. Returning to the kitchen, I poured a new cup of tea. Hiei's eyes followed me. He had picked up a plate of chicken curry from the night before and had microwaved it.

Somehow it was the only piece of tech in my kitchen he knew how to use.

As my tea was steeping, I grabbed my cold cup from the living room. No good now, cold steeped tea was the worst. Unless it was meant to be freezing there was no excuse for lukewarm tea. I put the empty mug away and removed the tea bag from the new mug, setting it aside. I guess it was back to reading. Hiei never said much when he visited, I'd stopped trying to have any meaningful conversations with him. Both of us were ok with silence. Any conversations we had were usually brief and impersonal. I hated it, but that was just how things were.

"I'm going back to my book," I said, grabbing my cup of tea. "If you need anything let me know. Your clothes should be done in about an hour." I went back to the window seat and settled back under the knit blanket. The pouring rain was the only sound as I once again dived into Stoker's world. I liked rain, save the thunder nowadays, because it provided white noise. It was a subtle static undeath the harsh drops on my window. The static numbed out the small noises to the point that I barely noticed them The anxiety and paranoia hadn't left me completely, but I could get some peace for a bit longer with the rain.

 _The neighbourhood of Hampstead is just at present exercised with a series of events which seem to run on lines parallel to those of what was known to the writers of the headlines as "The Kensington Horror," or the "Stabbing Woman," or the "Woman in Black."_ The books words were so familiar to me that I was less reading them and more playing a scene in my head. The number of times I had read that book rivaled childhood favourites like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and Vampire Kisses. Keanu Reeves hadn't done my Harker justice, at least not in my opinion, but Gary Oldman had become Dracula in my mind. Easier than imagining him as Takuma, which I still couldn't wrap my head around.

The time era wasn't something I romanticized, as I likely wouldn't have made it very far, but the style and literature of the times was something I loved. The 17-1800s were romanticized by the authors of the time and living in that world was something I did in my head when I read them. Dickens being the exception to that rule. I could never stomach Dickens. He was painfully boring and drawn out, but if I had gotten paid by the word I suppose I would have been as well. Good thing I had witchcraft to tide me over.

Hiei entered the living room about 50 pages later, sitting on the couch. I could feel him watching me. There wasn't much else in the room to look at, honestly. Most of the books on my shelves were in English and I suspected that he wasn't interested in crystals and bones.

"What is that?" I held up the book at his words, not saying and just showing him the title. Then I remembered that he didn't speak English.

"It's called Dracula," I said. "Have you ever read it?"

"No. Human literature isn't interesting enough."

I set my book down in my lap, staring at him in horror. "You take that back. You've never read any human literature?" He shook his head.

"Philosophers. No fiction."

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, what have you read?" I figured it would take less time than what he hadn't.

"Dante, Aristotle, Plato, More," he listed. "I read Beowulf."

"Ok, if I suggested something, would you give it a shot?" I asked. He glared at me. Ignoring that, I got up and grabbed a copy of Lord of the Rings off my bookshelf. It was one of the few books my grandfather had in Japanese. My personal copy was in English and no one touched it. I rarely let anyone touch my books. I handed the book to Hiei, a wide grin on my face. "Here. Try this."

He studied the cover for a few moments. "What is it?"

"Lord of the Rings. Classic fantasy, brutal wars, angsty heroes," I said. "Give it a shot."

"Why would I do that?" Hiei was so stubborn.

"Because it's a fantastic book and a gateway to realizing that humans have created some amazing literature over the years. It's not like I'm making you read a romance. Or Twilight." He gave me a confused look. "I'm never letting you read it, it'll turn you off from books and no one needs that. Books are great."

He made a little "hmph" and stood up, taking the book from me. He sat on the other side of the window seat and opened the book. I was floored. He settled into my spot, leaving enough room for me to sit as I had been before. Hesitantly, I joined him with my cup of tea. I snuggled back into the blanket Keeping my knees tucked close to my chest, I tried to dive into the book world again.

It was hard when I was so hyper aware of Hiei's leg stretched out next to my thigh.

It was weird to be so aware of another person. Especially one like Hiei. I felt relaxed around him, his energy sunk into the room and warmed me more than the tea and blanket ever could. I was safe with Hiei. I needed him in my life, just as a friend. Someone to sit with and not have to talk about my problems or tiptoe around them like I had to with Damon. Hiei and I respected each other's boundaries and I needed that.

And yet I was on edge. Like I was being watched and every move I made mattered way more than it actually did. THe sensation was familiar, like an old high school feeling but even stronger. Even if I knew Hiei didn't care, it was like I had to impress him. It was so strange, but I kind of loved it. It distracted me everything else I was experiencing, the anxiety switched to him instead of noises that my mind blew out of proportion. I couldn't focus on my book, though and that blew.

That silence sitting with Hiei lasted until he got hungry again. "Onna, make food." I rolled my eyes, looking at him over the top of my book.

"So charming, truly," I said, my voice heavy with sarcasm. What are you hungry for?" He shrugged. So helpful. I got up and went to my kitchen, book and mug in hand. I cleaned the mug and poured myself a mason jar of iced tea. Stir-fry would last a few days, at least for Damon and I. Hiei could eat a lot.

I got my stuff together, starting the preparation. I was passable at cooking, I always had a few things on the backburner that I could make and stir-fry had gotten me through Uni. That and easy ways to make instant ramen better for you. I couldn't make a burger to save my life, but I could sure as hell make curry and stir-fry.

Hiei followed me into the kitchen shortly after. The rain was still pouring and the book was still in his hand. He had gotten a good chunk of the way in, though from what I could tell he wasn't the fastest reader. I finished books in a matter of hours, Hiei was still only around 100 pages in. Not that I could blame him, few people practiced as much as I did.

"Why do you want me to read this?" he leaned against my counter, tossing the book on my kitchen table.

"Do you not like it?" I asked, mixing together the stirfry sauce and tossing the beef into the wok. "I was sure you'd enjoy it."

"It's… interesting." I nodded, grinning at him.

"Good or bad interesting?"

"Good."

"Well then I'm glad you're enjoying it. No greater pleasure than a good book," I said. I handed him the wooden spoon. "Stir this, I'm going to switch over your clothes." It only took around two minutes to get his laundry all moved, but when I came back he was just staring at the wok doing nothing. Just holding the spoon in his hand. I rushed over, taking it from him and moving him out of the way. "Hiei! I just asked you to stir!"

"I've never cooked." I looked at him in shock.

"Never?" He shook his head. "How have you survived?"

"I shot fire at meat." Of course, he did. Naturally. Because that was just normal. I just shook my head, stirring the meat.

"How are you ever going to live on your own?"

He watched over my shoulder. "We have a cook at the palace. No need for me to learn." I gave him a confused look, starting to add the vegetables and noodles. "I'm going to be Lord of Alaric when Mukuro finally gets bored." I smiled at him.

"Think that'll happen anytime soon?"

He shrugged. "Not with the rebellion. Stability is important now, we can't waver." I didn't understand politics very well, though I wagered I understood human politics better than Hiei did, but I took his word for it. He knew the Makai and its inner workings better than I ever would.

"You guys are going to have to explain how all of that works to me," I said, shaking my head. "Some of it is heritable, some of it is decided by a giant fuck-off fighting tournament. I don't get it. I mean, I'll give you diversity, cause I know you have one who's a girl, one who's a guy and one who's… well Yusuke. But other than that, I'm lost at your governmental system."

"And you're saying that your human governments make sense?"

I nodded. "To me. Because it was a big deal to learn about them in school. I've known how mine have worked since I was a kid, just like you with yours. It's all about learning and asking questions." I gave him a careful look. "You should try doing that more; you'd learn a lot."

He huffed. I shook my head, shoveling the finished stir-fry onto two plates for us. Damon wouldn't try to come home in this weather. I sat a plate down in front of Hiei, along with a pair of chopsticks. He immediately dug in. As reserved as he was, he lost that calm demeanor when eating. That boy tore into his food.

I watched him eat for a moment before beginning my own. The nervousness was still there, though it had lessened when we stopped touching. I shook my head, banishing the thoughts from my head.

It was probably nothing.

* * *

"So, you'll call me, right?" Damon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The man he was kicking out of his apartment was another that had clearly not listened to his when he said he would do no such thing, but that was his problem. He hadn't been that good of a lay anyways. Nor the woman before him, or the woman before that, the man before that. It went back as long as he could remember. None of them had been satisfactory recently.

"Yeah, sure," the cambion muttered half-heartedly. "Get home safe."

"You don't have my number-" Damon slammed the door in his face. "-Ok. Bye." He sounded defeated, but Damon knew it was for the best. Incubi couldn't really have healthy relationships, not with the amount of sex that he needed to keep himself alive. Even being a cambion, Damon found it difficult. Not for lack of trying, but for lack of a partner able to keep up.

It didn't help that he was a reclusive bastard that didn't know how to open up. It caused a host of problems whenever he wanted to start a relationship with someone. Girls wanted to talk and that caused problems. Boys wanted to compare and that caused problems. He found some of each that wanted the other, or both, but he never gave in. If his best friend could keep from pushing him, so could they.

Sometimes he wondered if taking on a demon would be the way to go. He liked humans, their understanding, the culture. Damon was a huge video game nerd, leaving that behind wouldn't be an option. But no human could stand his secrets or his appetite for long. It let to loneliness for the cambion, and he hated it. But demons could. Everyone in the Makai had their fair share of secrets, and all of them fucked like bunnies (though rabbit demons were tamer than he had expected.) It didn't change that they wouldn't understand his human side, at least not all of them would.

Then there was the issue of children.

Damon didn't want to procreate. Like at all. Children weren't in the cards for him, more out of self-hate and a lack of paternal instinct than a desire to not deal with the screaming. They were all well and good when they weren't his and he didn't have to take him home. He'd be a damn good uncle to Finley's kids when the time came, but he never wanted any of his own. He'd just fuck them up. Humans, or at the very least the ones who he ended up with, wanted children at some point. They didn't realize that Damon would outlive them and the children. Demons wanted to make as many offspring as possible, to keep the power growing. That left him with limited options.

The only baby he wanted was a puppy. Which most demon women would kill for taking up his attention, and most demon men would kill because it pissed them off. It was easier to be alone.

He sighed, pulling a bento box that Finley had made out of the mini fridge. His apartment looked nice, but there was little effort put into it. He'd hired a decorator with the money he'd gotten from his last American job and made sure his house would get most people into bed with him. If it weren't for Fin, there would never be food there. He banged and then kicked whoever it was out. Nothing there was supposed to invite them to stay.

It bugged him that he was like a half-demon Barney Stinson, but what could he do? At least Damon made it clear that nothing could ever happen. He just didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Flopping back onto his leather couch, he turned on his stupid flatscreen. He'd eat and then kill some shit in COD. There hadn't been many offers for jobs lately, but that was the way of the world, wasn't it? He bet that the people who usually contracted him knew he was in with the Urameshi team and they had to be huge targets. Contacting Damon would be like suicide. It wasn't like he had given them up yet; he was going to ask around for some jobs first and gauge their responses as he went.

Anyone suspicious was getting dragged back to the temple in pieces, no questions asked. He wasn't about to play with Finley's safety like that.

He tried to push out the thoughts of her getting hurt. The torture, the pain, how they'd no doubt burn her at stake like demons had done in the past. The humans had to get it from somewhere. He couldn't lose another person he loved and this one was hardly stable enough to keep herself alive. Damon would do anything to keep her alive.

It was his fault his mother was dead, he wasn't going to add Finley to his list.

* * *

I did up the guest bedroom, prepping it for Hiei. There was no way he was going out in the storm, and ever since I had caught him crashing in a tree on the property I demanded that he sleep inside like a good little demon. He grumbled about it, but didn't argue more than that. Having a dry place to sleep with an actual bed was better than sleeping in a tree in the pouring rain. Hiei wouldn't argue against that.

He stood at the doorway, waiting for me to finish. I kept my gaze as far away from him as I could. The problem with Hiei was that he had no problem being shirtless, among the many other problems with him. Being attracted to the fire demon was difficult, and it didn't help that he was shirtless and had abs that rivaled Ryan Gosling's. The fucker was photoshop in real life and I both loved it and resented it.

Turning back to him, I grinned. "All done. I'll be in my room if you need me." I didn't want to say 'If you hear screaming don't run in, I'm just reliving hell,' but it was still lingering in my mind. He had never stayed the night before. As far as I knew he didn't know about the nightmares. I didn't want him to know.

I left the room, shutting the door behind me. I opted not to play guitar that night. Hiei had better hearing than most, I didn't want to annoy him with my talent or lack thereof. Instead I turned on my laptop, put on a Dreamworks movie and decided to try and let sleep take me when it eventually did.

Though an angry Scottish ogre wasn't the best thing to go to sleep to. At least it held off sleep as long as it could.

I got up around 9 am. I had woken about three times during the night, all three times to nightmares and images of the Shrek series playing Netflix. At this point, I wondered why I even tried. If Damon was home, sleep wouldn't have been a issue. I just would've shoved as much caffeine into myself as I could reasonably handle and hoped for the best. But around Hiei, seeming normal was oddly important to me. He didn't need to know how bad I really was.

Concealer could hide the bags under my eyes.

Making breakfast was routine. I decided on pancakes, since Hiei liked sweet things and I assumed he was going to be there for food. Not that I had bothered to check. I was too used to having him around and still felt the blazing blanket of his energy.

Footsteps entered the kitchen. I could hear the slight sound of the demon sniffing the batter over my shoulder. He nodded and moved away from me. Weird ass fire demon.

I had gotten more sleep the previous night than I had in months. Part of me thought it was Hiei sleeping so close to me, the energy kept me warm and safe even if the nightmares eventually got through. I hated that I relied on him, but it wasn't all bad.

He was a good friend. If stoic.

Hiei got a plate of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup. The real stuff, not table syrup. I had too much Canadian pride. I also provided butter and Nutella. Damon was convinced that Nutella on pancakes was the only way to go. Butter and maple syrup was the only true way to go, but if Damon went to pancake hell that was on him. Hiei just tore into the pancakes with nothing on them. I sat across from him, putting the fixings on mine. Freezing mid-bite, red eyes watched my every move.

"It's good this way. You should try it." I resisted smirking as he made up the remainder of his pancakes the way I had mine. His eyes lit up upon taking a bite. I giggled. He was kind of adorable. "Have you never had pancakes, Hiei?" He shook his head. "Fuck, you have to make up for a sad childhood, my friend." A slight flinch told me that I struck a nerve. "Sorry."

He glared at me. "Don't."

"What?"

"Apologize. You don't know and I'm not telling you."

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip. "Ok. If you ever decide you want to though, you can. I'm not the type to judge based on your past." He pretended he didn't hear me. Just went back to eating.

I don't know what I had expected. Everyone we knew had issues talking about their pasts, and Hiei still barely knew me. I couldn't expect him to talk about his problems if I tried to hide mine from him. All the nightmares, the paranoia, the constant thoughts of how fucking terrible I was. There was really nothing I could expect him to tell me. We weren't that close, even if I wanted us to be.

We all had our secrets and it would take a long time for most of them to come out.

* * *

That's it for this chapter!

I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll be honest, getting into Damon's head is so much fun for me. I like getting into Hiei's as well, but he's more of a struggle to write from. Gotta get into the swing of it, though, because he's a fun guy to write as. We will be moving into more fun stuff, so I'm personally excited.

I hope you guys all enjoyed the chapter, and as always feel free to leave any comments or reviews. Have a great day guys!


	15. Chapter 15: Night Time

Hi guys!

So I've been having some inspiration issues. It's been a shitshow of my mental health lately, for a lack of better explanation. It took me four weeks just to get this chapter even close to what I wanted it, and editing was a bitch. But it's out, and that's what matters. I'm so sorry for the late update. To try an make up for it, this chapter is longer than what I would usually post. It also went in a direction I didn't really plan. So that was interesting.

Thanks to allebiouqruop, onixdragon4, and roxasmay for following; ryvermikaelson13, allebiouqruop, LilyPot16, FoxyCarry, Rebel-Keiki, LillithKnight, and SakiHanajima1 for favouriting. Also, big thanks to allebiouqruop, DarkWolf1689, and Rebel-Keiki for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

September melted into October with little mention of the rebellion in the Makai and little spoken about the impending holiday. My family always treated Halloween like a treat and I was no different. It was three days to the magical day of the dead and the undead. Not many people in Japan celebrated the way the we had back home, but I still decorated and baked. For me it was more about honoring the dead and watching shit horror movies in a Wednesday Addams dress with pumpkin shaped sugar cookies. It was the holiday that I lived for and that many people seemed to hate.

I had a bunch of decorations up around the house in preparation. There was a skull-shaped bowl on the coffee table full of chocolate pumpkins, candy corn and licorice babies, most of which Damon hated. (He didn't seem to understand that was the point.) The kitchen was also deemed unsatisfactory for Damon because of the large plastic tarantula that I had put on the kitchen table. He had screamed like a banshee the first time he saw it.

How was I supposed to know he was scared of spiders?

Halloween was on Saturday, which in my opinion was the best day for it. Nothing was going on, most kids could trick-or-treat and the best shit horror movies were screened on ABC and other similar networks. Late night TV played the good and the weird horror movies, and some brilliant classics. Watching Dracula was a Halloween tradition for me. Then I got a call from Ame.

"Hey, Fin," She greeted. "I have a question for you."

"Of course, what's up?"

"Akira's class is having a Halloween party tomorrow and this morning he asked me if you would make cookies with him for his class." There was a deep sigh. "Apparently, Halloween cookies are only good if you make them with a real witch. Would you be willing to?"

I just laughed. "Yeah, of course, I'm all about Halloween. I don't think I have anything for decorating them, though. He and I can go shopping if that's cool with you."

"Oh, no, you don't have to go out of your way," she said.

"Please," I said, sliding open one of my drawers to look for cookie cutters. I had to have some cute Halloween-y things that were kindergarten appropriate. I vaguely remembered a ghost, bat and pumpkin. "I love hanging out with that kid. I have to buy some decorating stuff for my ritual cookies anyways."

There was a brief pause. "Do I want to know?"

"It's a thing my grandma and I always do. Kind of a way to say 'Hey, dead relatives, still love and remember you, have some cookies.'" And lots of fun times talking to the dead at 3 am, but I wasn't going to mention the Ouija board. "Nothing creepy, just respect. Plus, we leave out scotch for my grandma and a Molson for my grandpa. Always a fun time."

She laughed. "Alright. In that case, could I bring him over around 3?"

"Yeah, that's perfect," I said.

"Is it cool if I bring Hiei, too? I know you can more than handle yourself, it's just there's this whole thing going and I'd feel better if you had him."

"Yeah, that's fine. What's going on?"

"Um, we're not supposed to be telling anyone until we know more, but let's just say it's a lot of dangerous people that might cause problems." Her voiced was rushed, like she was trying to explain it away without letting anything slip.

I nodded, sighing. "If you mean the rebellion, Damon told me."

There was a slight laugh on the other end of the line. "Of course, he did. Kurama was worried that he would. Didn't seem to think you two had any secrets." That was hardly true, but Damon had decided to grace me with that bit of knowledge. I was glad he had. Better to be aware of a situation than get fucked.

"I wouldn't say that," I said. "He does, however, think my somehow a degree in psychology will somehow help."

"How does he figure that?"

"I don't know, man, I barely understand him," I confessed.

She laughed. "The boys in our family sure are mysteries. I'll see you at 3, ok?"

"Sounds good, Ame. See you then."

There was a small click and then silence. I hung up as well, sighing. Why did I do this? I loved hanging out with Akira but I never liked a lot of cooks in the kitchen. And I'd never baked with a kid before. I had a lot of patience but it certainly wasn't infinite.

I just dug through my things, hoping for a recipe that would work. Basic sugar cookies would be fine, they wouldn't have anything kids were likely to be allergic to. I'd still have to leave a note about eggs and milk and such, but no one would hopefully have a reaction to them except for a sugar high.

* * *

At three, Ame came by with one excited half-demon and one grumpy fire demon. Akira bounced around, a small chant of "COO-KIES" repeating over and over. Hiei watched him carefully. I gave him a small smile. I knew he loved that kid with all the heart he pretended not to have. Ame and I moved over the carseat into the back of my truck.

She showed me how to buckle Akira in. Hiei got into my passenger's seat and sat with crossed arms. We drove off at the same time. Ame turned down the road that I assumed lead to her house and we turned towards the city.

"Alright, kiddo, we've got some cool cookie cutters but we need stuff to decorate ok?"

"OK!" he cheered. "What kind of cookies are we making Aunt Finley?"

"I was thinking sugar cookies. That way your classmates should all like them." I saw him nod in the rearview mirror. "I know a place that sells some cool American candy, so we can get some of that, and we're going to need icing."

"And sprinkles?"

"And sprinkles," I laughed. "If you see something you think would be good just let me know, ok? I'm low on baking stuff anyways."

Hiei turned to look at Akira. "You heard your mother. No asking her for unnecessary things. You're already making cookies." Akira just laughed.

"I know, Uncle Hiei. Mommy said no asking Aunt Finley for candies. But Aunt Finley said we can get candy to decorate the cookies." I nodded, pushing Hiei lightly.

"Of course, and you know we're going to snack while we make the cookies. It's only natural," I said with a wink. "Seriously, Hiei, have you ever baked cookies before? You always snack as you go." He huffed, looking away from me. I just rolled my eyes. He was so cute sometimes. Especially when he didn't quite understand humans.

Akira cheered in the background. At least he was happy, the kid got to hang out with who I believed was his favourite uncle and have badass cookies. I loved hanging out with the boys.

Once we parked in the shopping district, I unbuckled Akira. "Alright, hon, let's lay out some ground rules. What does your mom say when you guys go out?"

"I have to stay with her all the time. No talking to strangers and no taking things off shelves unless mommy says so." I nodded.

"Ok. Good rules," I agreed. "With me the rule is we always have to be able to see each other and if it gets crowded you have to hold either my hand or Uncle Hiei's. Other than that, you're good, ok?" He nodded. With that we all got out and went on our way.

Shopping with a grumpy demon with no real knowledge of human social customs and a 5-year-old so excited to be on a sugar high he was creating a fake one was an experience to say the least. Hiei didn't seem to have the slightest clue what any American candies were, and seemed to be baffled by the idea of so many things going into what he thought were simple cookies. Akira was looking at the treats wide-eyed and excited. It was my job to explain what everything was and make sure that nothing with potential allergens were picked. We didn't need some kid with a peanut allergy dying on us, so I had to limit the candy.

Hiei looked at the display of candy, confused. Akira and I had picked out some Dots, Rockets and a few other types of candy. I had plenty of candy corn at home since I was Halloween trash. I grinned at Hiei as he frowned at them all.

"It's pure sugar for most of it," I said. "We'll make sure the kids won't go crazy, but it'll make them happy."

"Isn't that bad for them?"

"It can be, but it's a Halloween treat. Back home we go trick-or-treating and get enough candy to last us til Christmas. I'd say this is a little better." He gave me a confused look. "Trick-or-treating?" His eyes narrowed. "It's when kids go door to door asking for candy dressed up in costumes. It's a huge thing. Drunk college students do it too, but they make us sing songs and do stupid things to get the candy. It's really fun." Hiei would hate it.

Akira looked up at me with a grin. "Aunt Finley, I wanna go trick-or-treating!"

I shook my head. "Well, Akira, it's not really something that's crossed the ocean quite yet, but that's ok. You can have some candy while we're baking." He cheered. Hiei just shook his head. I knew why he had come with us, but it didn't change the fact that he was being a grumpy demon.

It didn't take too long before we had everything we needed for cookie decorating. Hiei picked up Akira in the checkout line, keeping him close in the rush. I smiled at the small boy. The kid kept going on about how he was going to make the scariest cookies. Because Halloween was supposed to be scary. I had decided to put on the Addams Family while we baked. Still kind of spooky, but not scary enough to give the kid nightmares. Ame's bad side was not a thing I wanted to be on.

The cashier smiled at us. "You guys going to do some family baking?" The slight American accent wasn't lost on me. I nodded, poking Akira in the cheek with a grin.

"Yup. This little stinker is having a Halloween party for his class." The cashier nodded.

"Aw, well it's a good thing your mommy is going to make cookies, huh?" Akira shook his head.

"Nu-uh. Mommy can't make cookies. This is Aunt Finley. Aunt Finley makes the best cookies. She made me Pikachu cookies," Akira said, very matter-of-fact. "We're gonna make Halloween cookies because Aunt Finley is a real Canadian and she can do it."

The cashier flushed. "Oh, I'm so sorry, the three of you look like a family."

"No worries," I said. "We're his aunt and uncle, so you weren't too far off." He just laughed nervously, refusing to look at the pair behind me. I looked back and Hiei was glaring at him. Explained why the guy was nervous. I would be too on the receiving end of that. He could be terrifying.

Akira and Hiei, along with the decorating supplies, were loaded into the truck with little effort, thankfully. I wasn't sure I had the energy left in me to keep them all together in another store. The drive back to my house was full of my edgy hipster music in a language neither of them really understood. Akira was better than Hiei, however. He had the benefit of a school system that taught some English.

I sang along to the music under my breath. My fingers tapped along to the beat. Hiei looked at me from the corner of his eye before returning his gaze to the passing trees. I glanced at him. His katana was stored safely in the bed of my truck and he missed it. His hand kept returning to where it was kept on his belt. The other was white-knuckled, clenched around what I referred to at the "holy shit" handle. I was a fairly good driver, but I tried not to be offended. Demons, as far as I knew, didn't use cars. They were far faster on their own feet.

Cars were basically metal death traps too. Couldn't blame the nerves. It had taken me a long time to get driving again after the accident. I shook my head, pushing the thought out of my head. Not an image Hiei needed to see while he was in a car with me, and I had a nagging feeling he kept tabs on my mind.

I could feel the red eyes on me again. Go figure, he'd seen that. Of all things. Forcing myself to ignore it, my mind returned to the music. I was fine. He was fine.

Everything was fine, dammit.

* * *

The cookie-making process went smooth. I had made plenty of excess, though some was being frozen for use in my actual Halloween baking. Akira enjoyed helping, even going so far as to make grumpy Uncle Hiei join in the fun. He cut one cookie and then retreated to the windowsill to observe. That little stinker had magic powers over the fire demon and I was in awe.

I sent Akira outside to play for a bit as the cookies went in the oven. It was a little break for him as I set up the decorating stuff. Hiei watched Akira from the windowsill to give me a small break, though we hadn't discussed it. It was just natural for him to watch Akira like a hawk.

Everything was going well. I didn't need any hiccoughs to stress me out more than I already was. It was a struggle to stay calm even with Hiei around.I was holding myself together with Scotch tape. It was only a matter of time 'til I fell apart and I sure as fuck wasn't doing it around Akira.

The oven timer beeped, and I pulled out the tray of cookies, sliding the second one in. "Hiei, can you bring him in, please?" There was a nod and within a few moments Akira was walking in to my kitchen. He jumped onto a chair, eager to celebrate what he surely thought of as an American-only holiday. I just liked decorating cookies. It was a good thing I didn't have any pumpkins, or he'd have made us carve them.

By the end of the process my kitchen was a mess. Akira and I were both covered in icing. Leftover candy was tossed haphazardly across the kitchen counters and floors. I wasn't quite sure how it had gotten so disastrous, but Akira looked satisfied. We had a lot of treats for his class, if some were messier than others. There were some eyeballs, ghosts, bats and pumpkins, along with a couple witch hats and what Akira insisted was Shrek. It looked more like a green blob to me, but I wasn't going to argue with him. It was for his teacher, because in his own words "she looks like Fiona." I told him to leave that part out when he gave it to her.

After I packed up the cookies, I made a quick supper for the boys. Nothing too special, just curry that Akira assured me he would eat. He didn't disappoint. The kid, like his uncle, ate almost everything that was put in front of him.

"You're good at cooking, Aunt Finley," Akira said. "You're way better than daddy. And your cookies are better than mommy's."

"Can Kurama not cook well?" I asked. A harsh grimace crossed Hiei's face and Akira stuck out his tongue. "That bad?"

They both nodded. "I'm not allowed to eat anything that Daddy makes," Akira stated. "Last time I got really sick. I'd rather eat Uncle Hiei's cooking. Anyone is better than Daddy." I gave Hiei a shocked look.

"My food doesn't move, onna. Anyone is better than the fox. How he survived this long is beyond me." I tried to hold back laughter. Kurama seemed like the kind of person that was amazing at everything. It was nice to know that it was less than true. Then again, I wasn't too good at cooking. All I had were the recipes my grandmother had left that I practiced to the point of memorization. And almost every one of them involved my magic in some way. It was never a particularly exciting way, but it kept my little house running as smoothly as I could.

I just laughed. "Well, that's brilliant. Makes me feel a lot better about myself, because that man looks perfect."

Hiei scoffed. "Don't piss him off. He's far less perfect than he appears."

Akira glared at his uncle. "Daddy is perfect, Uncle Hiei. Just not with cooking." I just shook my head as the kid tried to argue with his uncle. He was a cute kid that loved his family. I didn't think that I would ever have kids of my own, but if I did I wanted them to be like Akira. With an extended family that loves them just as much as everyone loved him. Someone who could even melt Hiei's heart.

* * *

After Akira left, Hiei stuck around. I cleaned up around the house, fixing my kitchen in the aftermath of the Halloween bake-fest. Icing was everywhere, including my hair, and the my kitchen ceiling had some cookie dough and candy stuck to it. I had given up on asking the whys of it all and just tried to clean it up. Better than trying to figure out how a five-year-old had made such a spectacular mess. Hiei just watched. I looked at him, smiling.

"Well, this was a crazy day, wasn't it?" He just looked over me, confused. "Akira is pretty strong-willed. You'd be a good father if today was any show." Hard red eyes looked me over. I knew it wasn't something he might have wanted to hear. Hiei was going to be a great father when and if he decided he wanted to be one.

"You're losing it, onna."

"Am I?" I sat at my table, cup of tea in hand. "You're good with Akira. And no offense, but you do not seem to be the type that kids would flock to. Maybe it's him, but I think you'd be good at it."

"Don't talk when you don't understand the situation," he snapped. I couldn't understand why Hiei was so upset about this topic. He really would be a good father. He was extremely attentive to Akira. He chided him like a father would. Maybe he didn't see it like I did.

I frowned. "What do you mean? There's no secret drama, is there? Akira isn't secretly your kid and it's all a sham?" My tone was joking, trying to lighten the mood, but in a flash I was up against my kitchen counter with a hand around my neck.

His mouth moved, but I didn't register words. All I could see were eyes, flashing yellow and hard as stone. The hand around my neck wasn't Hiei's. I shot out my hands. Before I touched Kosuke he flew across the arena. Fire flew up and I saw the arms reaching towards me. Four arms. Was it the first demon? Was it Kosuke? I couldn't tell and everything was burning.

And then I was back. Back in my little kitchen, with a few shattered picture frames and a mug of tea in pieces on the floor. A fire demon stared at me from the floor. I started shaking. I'd hurt Hiei. I hadn't even thought that it was him. I'd thought it was…. But it couldn't have been. They were both dead. I couldn't even tell which one it was.

Cold tile greeted me when I fell. What had I done? I shook my head, teeth sinking into my lip. The sharp metallic taste filled my mouth.

"Onna…." A hand touched my face and I jerked away. Scrambling to keep any distance between the two of us. I couldn't believe what I had done. "What just happened?"

"I'm so sorry…" Tears stung my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Hiei. I'm so sorry." The words kept coming. I couldn't keep the apologies from coming. I couldn't believe that I had hurt him.

A hand forced me to look at him. "Stop that. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is, it is, Hiei. I didn't mean to…" My eyes refused to meet his.

"Look at me." No response from me. He jerked my chin up, our eyes meeting. "I don't bother tuning out your thoughts, onna. I saw. I know you weren't in control. So stop."

"I shouldn't have said what I did…" It may have been intended as a joke, but he didn't take it at as one. It was an off colour joke for me to make. Something more like Damon.

"No. You meant it as a joke. I didn't take it that way." He sighed. "I'll make a concession because of what happened, but don't expect it often. We were both wrong." I scooted closer to him, leaning my head on his chest. It was an awkward position. I was bent almost completely in half, legs crossed, with my head on the demon. He just sighed, putting a hand on my head. I let myself sob into his chest. I couldn't believe that I'd hurt him like that. I was so reckless.

* * *

Hiei couldn't believe what he had seen. Her thoughts were usually white noise, unless a particularly strong thought or image caught her attention. It wasn't often either. She was fairly level-headed when he was around and very calm in general. She was emotional, but she hid it well. Finley wasn't stupid, she knew he treated her thoughts like white noise and noticed when something was different.

So this had shocked him.

Her tone had been a joke. He should've taken it as such, but when it came to Akira he tended to be protective. He had been there when he was born, helped deliver the kid. Akira was the reason he wanted his own children, though he vowed to never be as personally involved in the birth again. Once was enough. He had never thought himself to be a good father. His mate would be the one to do most of the parenting.

Finley had surprised him. In more ways than one when it came down to it. She had been determined in the tournament though she was a soft human. She had been kind to everyone, though they were the things that had killed her. She refused to judge anyone based on their pasts, at least she said she wouldn't. There was no proof of that yet. She didn't know the stories of any of the family yet, and they knew little about her.

This had surprised him. She was so scared. Of something that wasn't real. Of people who were dead. And he had caused it. It wasn't something he'd ever seen among demons. Flashbacks were strange. He wasn't sure what to make of the oddly human thing. The only thing he was certain of was that she thought it was real. She hadn't realized, in that brief second, that he wasn't the demons who had hurt her.

Such a violent response to a hand around the neck concerned him. She was so fragile. What if that happened again? While she was in battle? Demons enjoyed watching the life drain out of their opponents and it was unlikely that she would end up never fighting again. She would. The family wouldn't be able to protect her from everything, nor would that stupid half-breed. No, if anyone could keep her from these flashbacks, it would have to be him. He doubted anyone else knew about them. She hid her problems well.

He had noticed the jumpiness, the paranoia. She was hesitant to be alone and when she thought she was she put on music to drown out any other noises. Hiei had seen it before, in Yusuke and Kuwabara. They had been the same way after the first tournament. They hid it much better than she did. They had always been fighters and to them it was just more caution.

Finley had been innocent. This was more than just caution. He knew the humans had some term for it, though he didn't know it. The woman had been kind to him and he was going to make sure that was returned. In at least protection. She had joined the family and now she was his. His family was his property. Finley couldn't escape that.

As she sobbed into his chest, he placed an awkward hand on her back. It was a show of weakness. She, however, had earned it. It wasn't something he gave to most people, but he figured that if Yukina were in that situation she would feel the same way. Anyone as innocent as them had an excuse to be affected by murder.

* * *

Damon had few virtues. Patience was one of those things that he lacked. He'd been waiting for a call from one of his old contacts for weeks. Not a word. He knew the reason. It would be dangerous, and it was. In two seconds, whoever contacted him would be reported to the Tantei. It was important to have someone in what he called the "Underworld" of human society. A lot of them worked closely with demons, or were demons who just liked to fuck with humans. They were in control of a little too much. But that likely meant that they knew what was going on in the Makai. A shit lead was better than no lead.

He checked his phone for what felt like the millionth time that hour. His last booty call had ended just after sundown and with a few words and lame promises of calling the next day that really meant nothing, he was alone again. Alone was probably better in this case.

Damon was 6 drinks in. Demonic metabolism or not, he was heading dangerous places and that typically meant that he would have to replace a TV by the end of the night. Electronics always took the brunt of his anger when he was drunk.

Drunk Damon was a bad thing all around.

His liquor could've been better, if he was honest. Drunk was drunk, but the shit Finley bought was trash. She was the one who bought it. He'd just stolen it from her house. She wasn't a drinker, not exactly. Fin claimed her alcohol was for her magic. Some sort of tribute to the dead. Damon was pretty sure that anyone with anything like PTSD probably shouldn't have open access to alcohol. She was responsible, but he wasn't sure how far she would go. The bags under her eyes were already dark enough.

Damon didn't drink his problems often, but he knew how it ended. Finley wasn't going to end up that way. He hadn't gone down that path. A lot of people in his business did and the results hadn't been pretty. Taking away booze from an alcoholic mercenary at 3 am was a sure-fire way to end up on the receiving end of a set of brass knuckles. Doing the same to a witch would be worse.

A piercing screech echoed through his head. His phone. Fucking finally! Call ID read "Unlisted," which Damon knew was pretty standard. Everyone he had worked for had a number like that when they needed him. There were other people in the business that he had the numbers of; those he had worked with, not for. This meant that he was going to have a conversation with a buyer. This guy was fucked.

"Hello?" Damon snapped.

"No need to bite my head off, Damon." He recognized that voice. Figures it wasn't a buyer with his luck. "Look, I have a potential job if you're interested."

Damon sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure, Matt. Depends who it's for." This guy was a pain in Damon's ass. Had been since they were working together in American bars. Matthew was a demon raised in a human household. Bounced through the system for a few years after getting tossed into a portal at birth. Matt and Damon were too much alike and that was the problem. Each knew too much about the other from drunken rounds in shitty small-town bars between jobs. When they were 23, Matt had moved to Japan for a permanent job for some rich dude that wanted to open some portal. The betrayal had been sharp; Damon just buried deep like everything else.

At least the sex had been good.

"Not the guy I was working for. He died. This guy is all demon. And he doesn't hate cambions," Matt said. Everything came out in a rush. "Not a fan of most half-demons, but who is?" Damon had to fight to keep his mouth shut there. The list of why Matt sucked just kept growing. What a cunt.

"What does he want, Matt?"

There was silence. "You might not like this."

"Just get to the point, for fuck's sake."

"We know you fought with the witch. Everyone knows about her." Damon wrapped his hands around a pillow. Quieter than breaking a glass. "Surprised you didn't just kill her. I know how much you like dismantling society, you'd be helping us do that in the Makai."

"I do enjoy chaos…" Damon was struggling not to rip the pillow to shreds. "What's the job?"

"We need a tail on the Spirit Detective. I recommended you. You hate demons and if we get information on him we get closer to taking down the kingship he put into place. That fucker ruined everything."

"I'm assuming there's more to this?"

"Yeah, but we'd meet in person for it. I'm in the human world for another three days, can you meet me tomorrow?" Damon was going to have to let the Tantei know immediately. "I was thinking Sarayashiki Park at 11?"

"Sounds good."

"Oh, and Dae?" There was a pause he knew was coming. "If you tell anyone, we'll know. So let's keep this between us, shall we?" Without confirmation, the line clicked and went silent.

It was no secret that he was friends the Urameshi squad. Matt bugging his apartment didn't surprise him, though. And it meant that he couldn't go home to Finley again. Not until this was taken care of. For all he knew, they were following him. Fin's wards could keep a lot out of her house. She was too nice and too stupid to keep out someone like Matt. He'd pull out the tears and in a heartbeat she would offer him tea and cookies.

Vampire rules couldn't protect Fin, and he doubted even Hiei could. Not against Matt.

Damon looked through his phone's contacts. Who wouldn't be asleep? Finley wouldn't be, and he was hoping Hiei was there to knock her the fuck out. Fin was the worst call here. Any of the guys were bad calls too, odds are they were being followed. A lightbulb might have popped over Damon's head. He dialed the number, hoping to god the service connected.

"Damon? Why are you calling so late?" The sleepy British accent was comforting. The blue-haired girl had obviously been passed out. But if anyone wasn't being watched, it was the girl that lived in the Reikai.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drive." He tried to make his voice sound sexier, pretend he was using her for a booty call. If he had been bugged, it was better to go this way. Anyways, calls woke people up faster than a text would. "I just need to talk to someone tonight."

"Alright…." The hesitation was heavy. "Damon is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll pick you up in 15, ok?" He didn't wait for a confirmation before hanging up and texting her. _Someone might be watching me. I'll pick you up from the blue building in the 4_ _th_ _block. Act like it's a booty call._ He grabbed a jacket and keys. This was going to be a problem for everyone. And if anyone could get that info around, it was Botan.

She stood on the corner, the Grim Reaper in a thick cream cardigan and brown boots. Her hair was down and wavy. The little kinks at the roots proved that she had her hair up for bed. Clean skin and bare eyes were gorgeous on Botan. Damon didn't think many girls could pull off the bare-faced thing, hell he didn't think many men could do it. Finley could, barely, and Botan was shining from within. Death became her.

Damon waited as she got into the passenger side of his sleek black Maserati. Before she even had her seatbelt on he had taken off. The pink eyes looked him over carefully.

"I got a call tonight." Damon's voice rasped out in stress. "It's a guy I used to work with. We're meeting tomorrow at 11. He's trying to get me to follow Yusuke. He… knows about Fin."

"Not that I'm not flattered… but why call me?" A sad smile was turned to the divine girl.

"You were the only one who was safe. The can't follow you; you live in the Reikai. Fin doesn't need any more stress and the guys are probably being watched too. I didn't even think that they would be following me."

He saw he nod out of his peripheral. "How do you know this guy?"

"He's an ex. Partner and boyfriend." He knew that question would follow, it usually did. "We were friends in America. We had a lot in common and we kind of clung to each other for a bit."

"Were you as close as you and Finley?"

Damon laughed. "I haven't slept with Fin, so not that way. I would say that I love Fin more than I ever did Matt. She's family. He was the guy I drank and did… other stuff with when we were kids. Not a good time, honestly. It was a toxic friendship at the best of times." Damon had done more things than he would eve admit to someone as kind as Botan. He doubted the drugs and murder would be a good thing to admit.

"So this guy is dangerous?"

"Very. I'm scared of him and I haven't seen him in years."

"Well, are you going to meet him?"

"I have to." Damon pulled up to a red light, slamming his head back into the headrest. "That's why I called you. You have those mirror things. You can call them somewhere that isn't bugged for sure. They won't think a mirror call is suspicious. I'm scared these guys know where Fin is and she'll answer the door when one shows up. She's too nice for her own damn good."

Botan put her hand over his on the gearshift. "You have to trust her. She's stronger than she looks."

"That's not the problem…" The engine revved to life again. "She'll kill me for saying it, but she's dying inside. Hell, she's not doing so good physically. The nightmares, the paranoia. She's just getting worse, Botan. And I don't know how to help her. I just know I can't let her get hurt anymore."

The silence that followed that was almost deafening. It had been a while since he had opened up to anyone like that. Pouring his heart out, talking about Matt. These were things he didn't do. That he hadn't done for years and he kept bottled up because pain may make you stronger, but if anyone found the right place to hit it was just weakness.

"Why are you telling me this?" He was drunk, that's why. Not that he would tell her that. The buzz was barely there anyways. It helped that Botan also spoke English. Stressed Damon used English slang a lot, something Fin was also guilty of. Neither of them knew how to describe something like a kerfuffle or any food from the Midwest. A tatertot casserole was a difficult enough this to understand when you spoke English and Damon had never recovered from eating one.

Damon pulled into a parking lot, turning off the engine. "I'm drunk. I'm stressed. You speak enough English to understand my slang."

"You're drunk?" Botan grabbed the keys from him, shoving them into her pocket. "You don't get these back. I'm driving you home."

"That's fine." He didn't blame her. He wouldn't trust drunk Damon either. "Fuck, you've been doing this for a while, right?"

"Dealing with drunks or the Makai crisis?"

"Makai."

She thought for a second. "I suppose so. I've known Yusuke since he was 14. We've always pulled through."

"You think we can this time?"

"Damon, I know we will. Yusuke was the one who set up the system down there. The boys are the strongest beings that we know of right now. I'm sure they can handle it." Warm pink eyes watched him. "You don't have to be scared."

Damon just nodded. She was right. Everyone knew that they were the strongest out there; the nervous feeling in his gut was pointless. "I guess… I've just never had anything to lose." Saying out loud made him realize that it was true. His mom had died when he was young, before he really got into the dangerous parts of the world. Now he had a family to lose.

"Don't you have family?"

"I have Finley."

"No parents?"

"I'm a cambion, my father isn't really a stand-up dad and my mom is dead." He could feel the pity in her eyes and didn't want to deal with it. "Don't start with that pity crap, Botan, I don't need it."

Her laugh was bitter. "It's understanding, Damon. I lost my parents, too." He forgot she was immortal. Or undead. "I died in 1666. Not a good time."

"What happened?"

"The Great Fire. My parents died in it, at least my father did. Didn't know my mother, she died shortly after I was born. I was an only child." Her voice was quiet. "People in my small corner of England didn't take kindly to orphans. I didn't last the winter. It didn't help that the plague was going around. No one wanted to catch it, so charity wasn't common. The cold got me, which is honestly better than dying of the plague."

Damon was floored. Botan seemed so… normal. If eccentric. He didn't expect something like that out of her past. The history of England was something that Fin knew more about that Damon ever would. Canadians seemed to care more than Americans, but everyone knew about the plague. Dying of the cold was definitely a better way to go than that. He just didn't know why she was telling him this.

"I don't expect your life story here Damon, but you're not alone. No one in our little family has the best family lives. Most of us don't have anyone but each other. Keiko is the only one left with both parents. Kurama and Yusuke each have one. Ame hasn't spoken to her family in years. Akira probably has the best family life out of all of us because we work to make sure he has what we didn't." She sighed. "You and Finley are our family now, too. We want to keep you safe. If you think for a second any of us are going to let you deal with this alone, you're crazy."

They sat in silence. The haze in Damon's head was getting heavier. It was a good thing he grabbed Botan; the booze was just starting to hit him. And his mouth started moving.

"I was 11. When my mom died." Botan watched him carefully. "I was a shit kid. Caused a lot of trouble. Big surprise, right?" The slurred, bitter laugh filled the car. "We lived in New York that year. Moved around a lot. Raising a cambion in America was hard enough and I was an… affectionate kid. I lost my virginity at 10, believe it or not. Caused a lot of problems for my mom.

"It started when I met a girl. Go figure. She was the daughter of a mob boss, because I'm just that fucking lucky. I thought I loved her. She was 14, and wanted to piss off her parents. I was too stupid to realize how bad that would be for me. I didn't mature emotionally as fast as I did physically. The incubus half of me wanted to bone anything I could and even though I was young, I went for it. I was a stupid kid. I told her everything because I wanted her to love me, too. She knew what I am. When her dad found out, they came after me.

"I was at camp when it happened. Mom sent me to band camp with my school. I played saxophone. Badly. They showed up at the apartment. Turns out they were serious Catholics that had demons working for them and Mom was not. She got knocked up by a demon at 17, for fuck's sake. It wasn't exactly a good match. They…" Damon swallowed hard. It had been years since he talked about this. "They wanted to kill me for hurting their precious little angel. For deflowering her. She wasn't a virgin when I met her, though. Mom wouldn't tell them where I was. She knew that I only had consensual sex, and that I wasn't human. I need sex to live. Mom didn't last the night, but she never gave me up." Tears stung his eyes. "I only ever talk about it when I'm drunk."

Tears flooded the pink eyes across from him. "Oh my god… Damon, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be. It was a long time ago." He usually said 'Demons killed my mom' and left it at that, though it wasn't the full truth. It was easier than the entire explanation. No one in that gang had survived the next 5 years. Damon grew up fast and hard. He had taken a bad path after his mother was murdered. Joined a gang of demons in New York almost immediately after. They kept him from bouncing around the system and taught his how to control his abilities. At 14 he killed everyone in that family without regret. Including Marissa. In his mind, it was her fault his mother was dead.

Killing her hadn't gotten rid of the guilt. He doubted anything would.

"That doesn't erase the pain." She was right. It didn't. But it was easier to pretend that it did.

* * *

My hands were still shaking. I was sitting in my bedroom, watching a bunch of Texans cuss each other out while playing video games on Youtube. They were safe and familiar. Their videos had gotten me through Uni and even now they were white noise that I still laughed at. They drowned out little noises that made me jump. It was what I needed.

Hiei was sleeping in the next room. After the incident earlier he refused to leave. The room was basically his anyways. He had all but moved in. I was trying to keep myself awake. Sleep wasn't an option right now. I knew that sleep would bring nightmares and I didn't think Hiei being in the next room would help me any. It had been a nightmare of a day. All the sleep spells in the world wouldn't help me.

The third cup of tea of the night sat next to me. The caffeine was keeping me awake. I needed it. Desperately. I was jittery, nervous. Every sound made me jump a little.

I wanted to look like I was fine. Every minute was spent trying to appear like I was ok. Hiei almost certainly thought I was pathetic after my outburst, Damon was treading on eggshells around me. It felt like the others were just leaving me to my devices. Kuwabara seemed to understand better than anyone. He was the only human who had really been in my place. Yusuke was a half-demon, I wasn't sure I counted him. Then again we had barely said two words to each other.

A creeper exploded on the game screen. I jumped, taking a deep breath. Not paying attention to these videos wasn't a great idea, even if I had watched them a million times. Especially when the bang was accompanied by a screaming British dude.

Arms clung to a stuffed Munchlax. The little things I used to enjoy all seemed lackluster, some of them making me jump or remember things I didn't want to think about. Nothing made me happy any more. I was keeping myself awake with willpower and enough caffeine to kill me. It was a technique I'd used for studying in Uni, but it applied here.

I looked over at my desk, where an old Psychology textbook sat. Every now and again I went through them. In a way it was comforting. Brains were by no means universal but I understood them. School was safe. It was weird to think of a book full of mental illness symptoms as safe. This I understood. But it was a key to my own mind and, for some reason, an assurance that I wasn't as bad as I maybe could be. I knew who I was all the time. There was the occasional feeling of distance from life in generally, but I never forgot myself. I knew my symptoms, even if I didn't treat them properly. At least I knew what was happening. Knowledge was power. I had to have power over myself. Knowing myself didn't mean that I treated it, but it meant that I at least knew.

I was a Slytherin. Power was important to me, but I only needed it over myself.

My control kept slipping. The freak-out towards Hiei had been a perfect example. I controlled my sleep, at the very least. In not sleeping, that is. When I slept it was chaos and pain. I did my best to hide it, but I wasn't doing a good job. It was sadly obvious.

When I wasn't being all jumpy I felt… numb. Like nothing mattered. I recognized the feeling. Depression was a bitch and I was on a bender that seemed never ending. As warm as I felt when I was staring at a candle or hanging out with Hiei, there was always the knowledge that the cold was going to come back. It loomed over me all the goddamn time. I could live with it, I had for years. I knew how to care for it and knew that eventually, somehow, it would blow over. I just had to power through.

Benders didn't usually last months, though. When I thought about it, I hadn't been happy in 6 months.

* * *

Pinpointing when I fell asleep was usually impossible for me. But somewhere along the line I drifted off. Sleep had been a sanctuary for so long. It was weird to dread something I had found so safe.

 _The screaming started right away. "KILL THE WITCH!" "FUCKING RIP HER APART!" "KILL HER!" I stood in the center of the ring, looking around me at the demons in the stands. Every one was yelling for my death. The sound was deafening. Across from me was the one person I had been dreading to fight. Red eyes glared at me. This wasn't the Hiei I knew._

 _This Hiei was hard and cold. This was a fight I wasn't going to win._

 _A pain came over my chest, the skin pulled so tight I could hardly breathe. My heart battered against my ribcage. Out of no where, Hiei launched at me. Scrambling to the side, I ran away. As fast as I could._

 _Then it turned into a first person movie. I darted around the arena, slicing my hand open. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, my hand just kept moving. Seven identical pentacles. A seal of Solomon. Words fell out of my mouth. My mind was screaming. I couldn't stop. My eyes watered, but tears didn't fall._

 _The figures of light exploded from the pentacles, like paper cut-outs of people. A burning ringing filled my ears. The screaming of the crowd didn't break through. Mouths open in fear told me that they were, though. The figures started spinning, closing in on the fire demon in the center of the ring. He hadn't even moved. He just stared at me._

 _I fell to the ground, all the energy sucked from me into the figures. Then I felt the warmth of Hiei's energy snuff out._

 _In the two seconds before my eyes fell shut, I saw the figures and the bright light fade away. In the center of my vision, laying on the floor, was Hiei's body. Unmoving and cold. I had killed Hiei. Hiei was dead. It was my fault._

 _Then everything went black._

 _My eyes opened in blackness. A solid ground was under my feet, but there were no walls, no distinct separation. Just black. The cold emptiness sat in my bones. Everything was cold._

 _Hiei appeared in front of me. "You killed me." I choked on my air, mouth gasping for some form of denial. "You were prepared to take me down with you. Why? To save the team? The bat never cared about you. The cambion probably just wanted to sleep with you. To rokurokubi was going to eat you. And yet you still killed me."_

 _"I didn't think that-"_

 _"Don't lie. You knew what you were doing. If it was going to kill you, why wouldn't it kill me?" He scoffed, red eyes narrowed in disgust. "Did you think that killing me would absolve you of everything else you did?" He was right. I was horrible. I had killed all those demons._

 _"They… they were trying to kill me…" I reasoned. More to myself than the demon in front of me. "I was trying to survive…. And help-"_

 _Harsh laughing cut me off. I had never heard Hiei laugh, but it was cold and humorless. Mocking. "You didn't help anyone. You just tried to rid yourself of guilt. If you had died, none of this would have happened. They would all be alive." He made a sweeping gesture and for the first time I took my eyes off the demon I had considered my friend._

 _Demons surrounded me. Now it turned into the same. All of them were beaten, bleeding, missing various parts. Kimiko and Sayuri stood among them, bloody tear tracks burned into their cheeks._

 _"You're the one who did this!"_

 _"If it wasn't for you we'd be alive!"_

 _"You killed my Daddy!"_

 _"It's all your fault!"_

 _The screams echoed in the darkness. Hiei just stood there, watching me. I fell to the ground, my hands over my ears trying to block out the words. Tears filled my eyes. I saw Hiei's mouth moving._

 _Onna. Onna._

"Onna!" My eyes flew open, a scream tearing form my throat. Hiei stood above me. I shoved myself back against the headboard of my bed. Chest heaving, I tried to somewhat control the gasping. Hiei watched me carefully. "It was just a dream. Nothing real." It was to me, but I didn't tell him that. To me everything that was said was true. And that version of Hiei… it wasn't the real one. I knew that. But it was still terrifying.

"I'm sorry…" I muttered. "I didn't mean to wake you up." It was the only thing that came to mind. It was just a dream.

Hiei scoffed. "Don't be stupid. You don't control it." I stared at him, wide-eyed. "No one thinks of you that way but yourself." It was then I realized that Hiei had seen what I did. Being friends with a telepath was a bitch. I guess I dreamed him speaking in Japanese. It made sense, it was the only language I'd ever heard him speak.

"Still, I'm sorry." I didn't know what I was apologizing for. For thinking of him that way, even though I knew he'd never say those things. For waking him up at 4 am according to my computer. For being such a fucking mess. A firm hand pushed me down, forcing me to lay back down.

"Don't. Go back to sleep. I'll wake you if it happens again." He turned, walking to the door. Before leaving, he turned his head back to me. "I know you don't think of me like that. So stop worrying about it."

I sat back up, pulling my knees to my chest. "I don't want you to. I'm bad enough as it is…."

"Onna, you're as good as it gets. Doubting yourself won't get you anywhere. Go to sleep."

With that, I was left in my room, in the dark. My room was the same as always. The computer next to me was still playing a Minecraft Let's Play. My plants were still growing. Everything was fine. And yet everything felt wrong. Something had changed between Hiei and I. I was more vulnerable around him. He had seen the worst of what I was going through.

I wasn't sure if I like it.

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed! I can't say I had fun writing this chapter, as it was a bitch to get together, but I am happy with the direction that it took. It wasn't what I expected. Thanks for being patient with me, though. Life catches up with me sometimes and it's hard to shake it off. I'm glad I managed to.

It was fun to write more with Damon, though. I have a lot planned for both him and Fin, which will be interesting. Though I think next time we're going to be almost exclusively with Fin. This chapter wasn't too focused on her and I want her back in my little mind's spotlight where she belongs. She's probably one of my favourite characters I've ever written.

As always, feel free to leave a review or any comments (or to chew me out for being so late on an update, I totally understand) and I hope you have a great day! :)


	16. Chapter 16: Highway to Hell

Hey guys!

I would love to give you some magical excuse that explains why I haven't updated for a month but I really don't have one, besides a lack of time and energy. It sucks and I feel awful about it, but I'm not going to put out something I'm not happy with so at times like this I am going to have to take longer. Oddly enough I think I'll have more time when school starts, as I'll be on a regular schedule again (thank god) and my school layout gives me a two hour break between classes on some days. Right now my work schedule is all over the place and time never schedules out properly. So I'm sorry and thanks for staying with me. As a cautious heads up for the next little bit, we are losing someone at my current job so I'll be working more with a lot less time to write. Since I'm upadting early for this I'll be trying to get back into a schedule, but no promises.

Thanks to AshelyArnetta and XxXLoveless-NinjaXxX for following, BreakingSerenity0629 and alicexavengance for favouriting, and DarkWolf1689, Rebel-Keiki and BreakingSerenity0629 for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finely, Damon, and characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

I hadn't seen or heard from Damon in three days. Seeing him wasn't a big deal, but he usually texted once a day to let me know he was still alive. It was nice to know. Wednesday morning had been the last I'd heard from him. Friday night I was starting to get worried. What an awful Halloween.

Around 9 texts had gone out, hoping for some response. I typically gave him two or three hours between texts, mostly because I didn't know if he was busy or not and felt he needed ample time to get off and get whoever he got off out. None of them had gotten an answer. All of my calls had been sent to voicemail, with no ringing. As far as I could tell, his phone was off.

The anxiety had me on my fifth cup of tea in 3 hours. It was like Uni all over again. I was running on caffeine and panic. I really didn't need to do this again. It had become a constant in my life once more.

The knock on my door came late at night. I hadn't expected to see Botan standing there in a panic, oar in hand and hair a mess. "Damon got hurt, you need to come to the temple!"

Without thinking about it, I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. Double checked the locks. Got in my car. Botan got into the passenger's seat. A disappearing oar must have made transportation easier. I was shaking. All I could think of was Damon. He was hurt and I hadn't been there to help.

"What happened, Botan?" I demanded.

"They met up with a guy Damon knew," she said, pouring out in a rush. "Some guy named Matt. It was a nightmare. The boys followed at a distance to help him apprehend him, but he had backup. And Matt is stronger than we expected."

"Did we at least get him?" She shook her head.

"Barely escaped with everyone alive. We know how strong the rebellion members are now, though. So, that's good." At the risk of Damon's safety. Rebellion's were dangerous, everyone knew that. Hell, when was the last time France had a regime change without a few dozen or more beheadings? But I didn't want Damon to get hurt because of it. If he knew someone who was part of the rebellion, was there really any helping it? He'd get hurt no matter what.

I pulled into the temple. The trek up felt like an eternity. Genkai really needed to invest in escalators. Stairs weren't good in a crisis. Then again neither was I.

Everyone was waiting outside of the living room of the temple. The only people missing were Genkai, Yukina and Damon. Kurama, Kuwabara, Yusuke and Hiei all looked like they had just seen a battle. A little torn and beaten, but nothing serious. They were battered. I was terrified. Everyone looked grim and silent.

I pushed them out of my way and burst into the living room, only to stop dead in my tracks.

Damon was laying on the couch, chest and arms heavily bandaged. Yukina knelt next to him. Her hands were glowing over his torso. His normally tan skin was washed out. Heavy black bruises marred the visible pieces of skin. He was out, thank god, because at least then he couldn't feel it. Dae must've been in horrible pain.

Botan guided me out of the room, arms around my shoulders. "It's ok, let Yukina do her job. She's an amazing healer, he couldn't be in better hands." I frowned. I didn't like that he was in such a tough spot and there was nothing I could do without my potions and herbs. It was devastating. It pissed me off beyond all belief.

I looked at the group of boys. "What happened?" The slight crack in my voice didn't go unnoticed. "Botan said it was the rebellion?"

Kurama nodded, face dark. "It was an ambush. I suppose they knew that Damon didn't trust Matt. They were prepared for us. His distrust is obviously understandable." No shit. "They have a few A class demons on their side, which is to be expected. We didn't expect Matt to be what he was."

"The fucker is horrible," Yusuke said. "How Damon fucked that guy for years is beyond me."

"What was he?"

"A mara," Hiei spat out. "Nightmare demons. The cambion mentioned he had been toxic but a mara is more than just that."

I shuddered. "So, from that description…."

"They make you see your worst fears as reality," Kurama said. "Most demons will kill one on sight just because of it. No one wants their weaknesses to be out in the open. It's worse that they feed off that fear and it makes them all the more powerful. The more scared of them you are, the stronger they get." I had no idea who this Matt guy was, but he sounded horrible. "Has he told you anything about Matt?"

"No… Damon isn't exactly forthcoming about his past." I wrapped my arms around myself. "I know that basics, like the Cliff notes of his life. He knows about the same with mine."

Yusuke stared at me. "You two are best friends."

"You forget that we were circumstantial. If it weren't for the tournament, I doubt we would've been friends." It was harsh, but true. We had few things in common, but we got along. Either way we ran in wildly different circles and didn't talk much about our pasts to anyone. Not knowing was part of the comfort of Damon and I's lives. We needed that security that only we knew what was wrong in our own lives. Mine wasn't even that bad, I just preferred not to talk about it. I knew Damon's had to be really bad and I wasn't going to push. It was something he'd tell me when he felt like it.

"You say that like it's a bad thing…" Keiko said.

"It's not. But it's still true. And we're both private people. He doesn't know the full of my life either and we're good that way. It's just how we are." We both wanted to be close to each other and we were. The mutual knowledge that our pasts were off limits kept us happy. I didn't like to talk about life before I got my degree, he didn't like to talk about his life before he came to Japan. We were both ok with that.

Damon and I never spoke about it and we were good that way.

Ame sighed, arms folded over her stomach. "We've decided that we're going to go to the Makai for a bit. Stay in Alaric. The rebels can't get past Mukuro's walls and we can regroup, figure out what we're doing next. It'll be safe there for a while and we can lay low. It's too dangerous to be here right now." I frowned. I'd be left in the Ningenkai, then. I couldn't go to the Makai; I'd be killed. Probably by someone that was on our side against the rebels with my luck.

"Ok," I said. "How long do you think you'll be? Cause I'll have to beef up my wards if I don't have you guys around."

All eyes turned to me, narrowed in confusion.

"Finley, you're coming with us," Kuwabara said, like it was some big obvious thing I was missing.

"I can't though…" Heads tilted. "I'm a witch, it's probably safer here." The realization dawned on all of them.

"You come with us." My eyes went to Hiei. He was glaring at me. "No one's going to touch you, idiot. It's Mukuro's territory."

My face must've given away my confusion, because Ame spoke up. "Hiei's the heir to Alaric, Finley. No one there would ever touch a member of our family." I made eye contact with hard red eyes. Hiei wasn't backing down and even without his third eye I knew what he was thinking. There was no way in hell I was getting left behind when they all went to the Makai. If he had to drag me there myself he would. It was something I found oddly endearing about him.

It was things like this that made facts hit you like a truck. Though it felt little, was only a little gesture on Hiei's part, it meant a lot. It was something Damon and I gave each other even through our ignorance of the other's pasts. They knew barely anything about me but I was actually part of the family.

* * *

Damon was moved to a bedroom after Yukina had done all she could. I sat next to him, on what had to have been my 6th cup of tea in a few hours. I refused to leave his side. My healing skills were abysmal. There was nothing I could fix that Yukina hadn't already done. Without ingredients, I could do even less than she had, and I was convinced she had done more than I could ever do. Figures, I could do so much with magic and yet I always felt so limited. I couldn't even tell if he was going to be ok.

The future was dark to the best of us. Tarot cards were kind of specific to whoever the reading was for, and since everyone experienced things differently, it was hard to say how things would go for everyone else. And even then, as with all forms of divination, if even one decision was made off the current path, everything could change. It was the goddamn butterfly effect on a massive scale. Even if I got close it was never perfect. I could tell things up to a week or so in advance. I liked to stick to less than that if at all possible. The future was never certain.

Hell, my cards have basically told me to fuck off for asking questions. My deck would read me to filth. They liked to slam me for my bad choices. There was a reason I had stopped reading them entirely. They knew as well as I did that my coping mechanisms were complete and utter bullshit.

I drank my last cup of tea, the last dregs sinking into my chest. I needed that bit of caffeine. Reasonably, that last bit meant nothing, but it felt like everything. Like that last minute of sleep when you wake up before an alarm. That last minute would make the entire difference in a day.

I just wanted Damon to wake up.

There was a knock on the door, then it creaked open. "Hey, I brought you more tea." I looked up, smiling at the elder Kuwabara. Shizuru and I hadn't talked much, but she seemed pretty chill. Like the older girls you looked up to as a kid that were just so much cooler than you would ever be.

"Thanks…" I took the cup form her. From the smell, it was herbal. I felt like they all decided that six cups were more than enough for a caffeine junkie like myself.

"How's the smartass doing?"

"He's…. steady? I guess?" I shrugged, taking a sip of the warm tea. It was sweeter than I was used to, but the comforting taste of real tea wasn't there. I wasn't sure what I was tasting, but it was still good. "I don't know.. I'm just happy he'd alive."

"Yeah…" There was silence. "Hey, you wanna dye your hair before we go to the Makai?"

I frowned, touching the ends of my now faded blue hair. My roots had grown in a fair amount. I had intended to change it after the tournament, but never got around to it. A new colour might have helped. If I had a new hair colour, maybe I wouldn't see a scared girl covered in blood every time I looked in the mirror.

"I should, huh? My roots are a gotdamn nightmare, aren't they?"

She laughed, the laugh deep and rough. "I was thinking a new colour might help with stress, but yeah, they're not good. It's kind of a thing here. Girls get their hearts broken, have a major life change, lose something dear to them. Answer is changing your hair. Helps all the time. Plus you have great hair."

"Thanks…" I smiled up at her. "I'm not sure what I'd go with next though."

"I do hair professionally. Care to let me have my way?"

I stared in shock. I had friends that were estheticians, that's who I usually got to dye my hair for me. I had never had someone offer to just do it. It was usually in exchange for dinner or Starbucks while I paid for dye.

"I'd love that," I said in a rush, realizing I'd been quiet for too long. "I think change would be good. Might as well go to the Makai looking good, right?"

Shizuru smiled at me. "Kid, you are one good liar." My jawed dropped, eyes wide. "Hold on, let me finish. You're good at hiding what's wrong, and I'm pretty impressed. This family is good at hiding shit. We do it from each other, from ourselves. You, you can hide it from the best of them. I bet even Hiei doesn't know the whole of it, eh?"

Keeping my gaze to the edge of Damon's bed was easier than looking her in the eyes after she said that.

"It's not a bad thing, Finley. Sometimes yoou have to keep shit close to your chest," she said. A hand went to my shoulder. "But you have to remember that you have friends and family that love you. You're not the only one with baggage and even when we don't talk about it, we support each other." She turned to leave the room. "Oh, and you can always talk to me if you want. I'm open ears and I've always got cigarettes or booze." I chuckled and heard the door shut behind her.

Damon would probably kill me if I ever touched liquor, and it wasn't something I had any interest in doing often. I didn't drink to get drunk and the last time I had been drunk was on champagne before the tournament. I hated the feeling of being drunk. It took a lot of stress to even get me to consider it, and I always regretted it afterwards. Champagne hadn't tasted like alcohol to me. Gulping it down like Sprite or Coke was a mistake.

I wrapped my arms around myself, leaning back in my chair. Everything was weird. Everything was off to me, but maybe the change would be good for me. The Makai might be a good change of pace, even if it could kill me. And fuck knows I needed a hair change. Takuma had said he wanted to work for Mukuro; I could see him again. He had been a good friend in the end.

Another sip of the tea and I realized that my thoughts were me trying to make the best of a bad situation. I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to stay in my own home, with my own bed. Where the comforting smell of sage incense always lingered in the house, though I was sure I switched to lavender and rosemary a while back. Where I always had pitchers of tea in the fridge, and a full cupboard was dedicated to just teas. I didn't want to leave my books, or my plants, or my tools. Or the stone guard dog that slept most of the time and did a really shitty job to the point where I honestly forgot I had him sometimes, but goddammit Walter tried. He was just old.

The bed was overcome in a watery haze. I didn't want to leave. It just wasn't a choice.

* * *

"Fin?" I jolted slightly, bolting up from the edge of the bed. "Come on, sleeping beauty, get the fuck up." The puffy black eye was harsh next to Damon's blue eyes, but at least they were open. I didn't know how long I had been asleep. Not long, I assumed, but knowing the family whatever was in that tea had been made to knock me out. I remember tears and then waking up.

Damon fell to the bed as I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded through tears. "I could have helped. You could have died!"

"Ow, Fin, what the f-" An arm went to my shoulder, pushing me back slightly. "Look, uh…. Shit. I'm shit at this shit, you know?" The jumbled English was comforting. And so goddamn Damon that I felt like he was safe. But the words made me want to kill him. "I don't like talking about Matt. He was… was… not good, ok? I mean, fuck's sakes, I only told Botan because I was smashed when he called and he kind of threatened you and you're so fucking empathetic you'd let that fucker into your house and you're already dealing with enough and he's a fucking douche and he's not getting anywhere near you and I just-"

A loud screech of chair legs cut through the rambling. Damon's head snapped to the side as my fist collided with it.

"We're friends, jackass!" The high-pitched, strung-out voice didn't sound like mine. "I'm not stupid! I'm not a fucking three-year-old! I can take care of my own damn self! You're the one who fucking trained me; you know I can! Stop… stop treating me like I'm fucking broken! Everyone is doing it and it's driving me batshit, Damon, I can't do it. I can't… you're my best friend, you can't think I'm broken. I know I'm in bad shape but fuck if I can't pretend I'm fine.

"You don't wanna talk? Fine. Don't fucking talk. Fucking heaven forbid I want to help. But you can't claim to shut me out and say you're fucking protecting me. What if you had died, Dae? You think that would've been better for me? I've lost my parents, my grandparents. You're all the family I have left and I'm not… I'm n-not losing you too…" I buried my face in my hands, taking a step away from the bed. The hole in my chest was heavy as hell. Guilt followed close after. Yelling at him wouldn't solve anything, and neither would sobbing into my hands like a distressed soap star.

I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. I looked a disaster, I was sure. Damon always chastised me for forgetting I was wearing makeup. The black smudge on the back of my hand proved I'd done it again.

"Fin…I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ok?" Damon's voice was tight and matched mine. I could hear the tears in his. "We both got shit to work on. I don't know how to protect the people I love. My mom died because of me for fuck's sake. I just don't want you to get hurt."

The two of us were in that room for what felt like hours. Heavy sobs and ugly tears filled the silence of Genkai's temple. Then it was overcome by the strange calm that always follows crying. I knew the science behind it. Crying was a release of emotion, of hormones. And the end to it was always nothingness. It never lasted long, but that brief calm gave you a chance to think about what had just happened before the terrible feelings came back.

It really was only a few minutes. The calm lasted about 30 seconds. That calm was painful. We were so idiotic. Fighting when he was so hurt. When there was a fucking rebellion. When all of it could be solved by just fucking talking to each other, but we were so fucking stubborn.

"Damon… can we just talk? For once? Get it all out?" I was quiet but certain. There was more important shit to deal with, but this had to get out if either of us were going to get past it.

He nodded, a smile forming on his puffy face. "Yeah… I think we should. We have issues and maybe… maybe talking about shit will help."

They two of us sat on the bed, staring into space for the next little bit. We knew both of us needed more time before we could talk. I didn't expect it until we were in the Makai, probably not even then. The two of us were already damaged enough.

* * *

It was 4 days before Damon was well enough to go to the Makai. We took a day to pack and Koenma, in all his glory, managed to get us all a portal.

The house seemed almost haunting. I stood in the doorway, looking in. Damon had the bags in the truck, nothing too over the top, but enough in case we stayed longer than expected. It was hard for me to leave. I didn't want to, understandably. It was home. Leaving would be admitting that it wasn't safe at home. My wards weren't good enough.

It didn't matter either way. The second we found rooms in the Makai I was warding every single one of them myself. Always do wards yourself when you go to a new place. Words to live by.

I climbed into the truck, sticking the keys in the ignition. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be. What do you think they'll say about your hair?" I touched the ends of my hair. Shizuru had made good on her offer and I loved it. It was down to my collar bone again. The colour was what I loved most, however. It was a gorgeous lavender, one that I never thought I could pull off. It worked well on me and proved that she had an eye for this kind of stuff that I'd never had. Lavender wasn't a colour I had tried before. I'd had dark colours for the most part. Pastel was a nice change.

"Don't know. It's not the priority, is it?"

"Guess not…"

The ride to the temple was silent. Neither of us wanted to be in that truck. The Makai was a place both of us found dangerous. For Damon, it was the origin of his demon half, the part that had made him an outcast in either world. For me, it was a death sentence. I wasn't sure that I'd make it out alive, even with my family beside me. My bad luck was bordering on infamous.

Everyone was gathered in the front yard of Genkai's home. Akira was rambling on to Yukina about how he'd never been to the Makai. Yusuke and Kuwabara were helping Keiko organize the bags. Ame stood with Hiei and Kurama. The three were speaking in hushed tones and I wasn't sure what to make of them. Ame never seemed left out of any important decisions and the two men seemed to have an immense respect for her. Since one married her, it made sense.

I knew she was the mom of the group. Out of everyone, I felt the most connected to her. She was the first one I had met, the one who kind of held my hand through this entire nightmare of a process. Hiei and Damon had been near-constant companions, but Ame had that older-sister vibe that you kind of needed in the mom friend. She had the advice and the comforting nature that put everyone at ease. And when she wasn't at ease it made everything so much worse.

Ame was good at hiding her discomfort, but I could see through it. My best friend in high school, Selene, did the same thing when she was nervous. They both bit the corner of their bottom lip, looked around like they were distracted. Most telling, though, was the was the both wrapped one arm around their stomachs, almost as if they were trying to keep the knot in it from moving. It was surprising and yet comforting to see those same habits again. It made me feel like I could still read people and that I was back home.

"Damn, Fin, I love the hair!" Yusuke said, grinning. "I was so used to you being a faded Smurf."

"Thanks, Yusuke, I'm digging yours too. You steal all of Snape's hair gel?" Keiko burst out laughing at Yusuke's offended look. He kind of deserved it for the shot at the blue.

"I love it, Finley," Yukina said, smiling at me. "It suits you very well."

"Thanks, Yukina. I'm a fan. Shizuru is a master with dye," I said.

The elder Kuwabara smiled at me. "It helps that you have a shitton of it. You can keep dying it and it barely seems damaged. You've got a good canvas for me to fuck with."

"Well it's yours when you want it," I said. "No one is ever touching my hair again."

My eyes met Hiei's and he gave me a brief nod. I returned it with a small smile. He knew how afraid I was, but then he knew me better than I knew myself. Probably the mind reading thing but it's always easier to judge and help others than to judge and help yourself. Talking about hair made it feel like this wasn't as scary as I knew it was.

I didn't like the look of the portal. It was massive, glowing and reminded me all too much of the magic I had done in the tournament. It was supposed to take us directly into Mukuro's palace and going through gave me the wiggins.

The boys helped us all get our bags together. Everyone seemed to pack more than I did but I hoped my optimism, for lack of better word, would pay off. It wasn't like I hadn't lived in a Uni dorm either, I had washed my clothes in sinks out of desperation before. Knowing Damon, though, he had packed extras for me on top of his. His bags were so numerous he would be fine for 6 months in the Makai if it came to that. Then again he was a vain son of a bitch so I couldn't really be shocked.

One by one we went through the portal. I hung back after Damon, Hiei and I standing there staring at the portal.

"It's going to be fine, onna." I looked back at him. "Go on." I took a deep breath, gripping the strap of my duffle bag hard. One step. I'd be through and we'd be fine. I'd be in the Makai. Surrounded by demons who want to kill me. In a new world full of new things. With no wards.

But I'd be fine.

* * *

Portals were awful, I quickly concluded. I felt damp and dry all at the same time, like I walked through Nickelodeon slime or something. It made my skin crawl. I stepped out the other side like Alice through the looking glass, dry as a bone.

The walls of the palace were… strange. The others were already moving down the hall, completely oblivious to it. Or maybe they just didn't care. They were oddly bubbled out, divided into panels with thick dark lines. Lines ran vertically through each little panel, each branching out like veins. The strangest part was that it felt almost alive. Like I was standing in the belly of a beast.

Footsteps came from behind me. Hiei's energy wrapped around me, but the lingering feeling still hung over me.

"Hiei… is this thing-?"

"Alive?" He stood next to me a smirk on his face. "Hn. One of the largest living palaces. Our fleet for patrols are much smaller."

"Hiei… am I in a bug?"

The smirk grew. "Yes. Is that the thing the fearsome witch is scared of?" A small squeak escaped my throat. I hated bugs. So fucking much. And now I was in one. Naturally. "Onna, it's barely even alive anymore. We kept it that way for the heat, it's not like it will digest you." His words didn't ease the crawling feeling on my skin. Fucking of course I was in a bug.

The rooms were crazy. Even hotels weren't as extravagant as what I was staying in. It was worthy of the Queen of England and even then I doubted the royals would go as hard as Mukuro seemed to. I was shocked.

Mine was large, about the size of a large apartment. As an entire room. The bed was gigantic for a 5 foot 1 girl. A king size bed was a lot for me. There were couches in the center of the room, making a little sitting area with a coffee table. Off to the side were a walk-in closet and large bathroom. The bathroom fulfilled all my wildest bathroom dreams. The tub was large enough for maybe three people, more of a hottub than a bathtub, and the shower was large with a little bench in it. There was a balcony in the room as well. The room was more than opulent and I knew that it would feel more like a hotel than an actual bedroom.

I set my bag on the bed, sitting down next to it. Damon had shoved a suitcase in behind me that I didn't remember packing, but go fucking figure. It was Damon. Crossing my legs, I dug into my bag.

First thing's first, fucking cleanse and ward everything. I wanted everything locked down and safe while we were there. Everyone was going to have a full set of wards in their rooms.

My ward sachets were bumped up above what they usually would be. I had spent days on them. Sigils, herbs, crystals, the whole nine yards. I needed all my bases covered. There was even a bundle of sage and lavender for every room. Better safe than sorry. Heaven knows I needed the extra sense of security.

I did mine first, setting up a ward in every corner of the room, and one in the closet, the bathroom and on the balcony. After cleansing the entire thing I moved through Damon's, Botan's, Shizuru's, Kurama and Ame's (along with the little walled off room that Akira called his own within his parents), Kuwabara and Yukina's and Keiko and Yusuke's. The only room I didn't know the location of was Hiei's. Go figure.

Following Hiei's energy was a little annoying. The halls were a bunch of twists and turns, and all were very dark. The walls felt like they were pulsing and moving in response to each footstep. Behind each door was a mass of energy that I decided to avoid. Hiei felt safer to me. I could find the fire demon almost anywhere now. Thankfully I didn't run into anyone I didn't know.

His room was gated by giant solid wood double doors. It looked distinctly… un-Hiei. I wondered why he was in a room like that when I knew what he had done to his room at my house. It was fairly simple, with only a change of clothes and tools to care for his katana in it. I had stuck some books in there myself to give him some entertainment. Plus books are good.

I knocked on the door. He was in there, but there was someone with him. Hiei answered the door, standing aside to let me in.

"I've warded everyone's rooms. Mind if I do yours?" I asked, holding up the supplies with a guilty smile. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Do what you want onna," he said. I stepped in and froze.

The room was less of a room and more of a suite. It was like a penthouse suite that took up entire floors of apartment buildings. It was beyond opulent, everything inside screaming of wealth. The colour scheme was black and gold, which I never saw as a very Hiei colour. I saw him as a silver dude. He and I were both Slytherins, though in different ways. The opulence didn't make sense to me, not for a person like Hiei. He always seemed more reserved, more minimal.

Sitting on a couch in the center of the room was a woman I'd never seen before. Short, vibrant orange hair framed a blue eye. She was clearly tall, all legs. Easily a beautiful woman with an air of power. I didn't get the sense that I was in danger from her, though she was clearly a force to be reckoned with. Laying below the surface of this woman was something I had seen in textbooks and in a few people I went to school with: the oddest sense that she was an abuse survivor. Most striking about her, however, were the prosthetics that made up half of her body. The intricacies were incredible; I'd only seen things like that in comic books, never in real life. Human prosthetics were less interesting to look at, but just as detailed below the surface.

She smiled at me, standing. "You must be Finley. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You as well," I said, extending my hand to her. "I take it you're Lord Mukuro?" I had heard someone say Lord, so I figured maybe it was what she preferred. It wasn't my place to question it anyways. Either way, I felt like she deserved more than a handshake. If she didn't want more I didn't want to offend her. I had no idea of what to do here.

"I am." She shook my hand, a smirk forming on her face that eerily reminded me of Hiei. "It's been years since I've seen a real witch, I'm glad to have you here."

"Thank you. From what I've seen so far you have a beautiful home." If creepy and a giant bug.

"The onna is scared of insects, Mukuro, she's just being polite." I glared at Hiei.

"At least I am polite," I said. "I'm a Canadian, sue me. Anyways, I don't know how to treat people in this situation, our Royal Family is all figureheads." We had our government officials, but nothing like Lords or Ladies. We weren't that fancy.

I darted around the room, putting wards in every corner again. The cleansing always took longer. It made me feel better though. Mukuro watched me as I went about it.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Cleansing. I always do it after I put the wards up. Kicks out the bad energy and I've always thought of it as setting the wards. It makes them recognize what they need to help keep out. Like a vaccine." She nodded.

"Would you do that for my room? I have my fair share of bad energy in there." I looked at her, kind of shocked. I couldn't believe that a demon was asking me to cleanse for her. The family knew that I did out of habit and nervous need and Hiei just seemed to tolerate my ways. I wasn't used to someone taking an honest interest in my magic.

I smiled, waving around my stick of sage. "Of course. If you have anything specific you want to keep out I can tailor it." If she wanted protection from nightmares I couldn't help her much, mine never seemed to help. Anything I could do to help though, I would.

"Perfect. After supper we can go to my room to do it. I've never seen a witch do her magic; it's fascinating." She laughed. "Last witch I saw was burned at the stake. Hell if that will happen now. I'll light the bastard that tries myself." I knew I looked a little sick at it, my stomach turning. Burning wasn't a comforting idea, regardless of how much I loved fire.

Hiei scoffed. "Onna, no one will get past us."

"Well, you guys are forces to be reckoned with." I let the rest of the ashes fall into a little ashtray that Hiei had on his coffee table. I knew he didn't smoke, but maybe he lit shit on fire when he was stressed. More than likely it was just decoration. A solid gold ashtray seemed a bit much for him. "I'll head back to my room then."

"You can find it yourself?" I rolled my eyes at the words of the fire demon.

"Hiei, I found you using my senses. I'm sure I can find Damon," I said. "You don't hide yours here, but I think he's trying to show off." I could feel his like a beacon to his room. He was flaring it more than he would at home, normally I could tune him out.

Mukuro laughed. "Is that what that is? I thought someone was trying to spar. This is the cambion, right?" I nodded. "Never met one of him either. I remember the two of you seemed close from what the tournament broadcasted."

"He lives with me," I said. "The idiot is my best friend. He takes getting used to, but you'll love him." Hiei scoffed. "He'd like you if you weren't so mean to him." Hiei rolled his eyes, sitting across from Mukuro. "I'll see you later." With a last smile to the Lord of the region, I left.

She seemed nice, I understood why Takuma had wanted to work for her. I made a mental note to ask her about him at dinner. Takuma was my friend and damned if I wasn't going to see him while I was in the Makai. I was holding onto him as my perk to this shitty situation.

* * *

"What do you think of her?" Mukuro asked. Hiei looked at her, eyes narrowed. She had been a good friend to him over the years. More than a friend, a mentor. At one point he had thought to mate her, less of a hassle when he already knew the person and with no chance of children on her part. Akira's birth had changed that. What it didn't change, however, was that she knew him better than he knew himself.

"She's weak," he said. "She's let the tournament affect her too much." He knew it wasn't what she wanted, but he wasn't sure himself.

"That's well and good Hiei, but that's not what I meant and you know it. What do you think about her?"

He sighed. "The onna reminds me of Yukina. Easily affected and too kind for their own good. Regardless, she is part of the pack and if anyone harms her they have us to deal with."

"You mean they have you to deal with." She wasn't wrong. Hiei would kill whoever touched Finley before the others ever knew.

"Hn. I've seen her mind, Mukuro. She's… different. I don't understand the words but she sees things that aren't there, jumps at stupid noises."

Mukuro frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You watched the tournament, you saw the first match." The Lord nodded, waiting for him to continue. Hiei felt guilty sharing this with Mukuro, but of anyone could offer insight it was her. As far as he knew Finley hadn't told anyone. "I did the same thing. She relived the fight, along with the first demon she had fought. The onna didn't realize that I was the one doing it."

The Lord sighed. "I see. That explains some of her behaviour. She tensed up the second she saw me, I doubt she noticed it. It's clear she doesn't want to judge but I can't blame her. I've been there." Hiei frowned. Mukuro, in a position like that? Bullshit. She had a bad past, one he wagered was worse than any one, but she was strong. The onna wasn't. "Hiei, maybe for demons it takes more, but after my captivity I was like that too. Nightmares, flashbacks. Hell, every time I looked at my shackles I wanted to die. It may be hard to see it from her perspective as demons, but I'm sure Keiko and Kuwabara understand her."

"Ame seems too," Hiei said. "I don't remember her going through it though."

Mukuro gave Hiei a small smile. "Ame did. Not as bad as what I think the witch is going through. Finley hides it well, I wonder if she has experience."

Hiei shrugged. "She studied the human mind. I doubt I'd know if I hadn't seen the Detective and the Oaf get like that after the Maze Castle. They just seemed more cautious. This borders on paranoia."

"Well, at least she has you to help her."

The smirk and suggestive tone of her voice wasn't lost on Hiei. "What are you talking about?"

"If you haven't figured it out Hiei, I won't tell you. I doubt she's figured it out yet." A smile crossed her face. "It'll be fun to see how this plays out." Hiei growled. Long ago he promised not to read her mind unless invited and here was that promise kicking him in the ass. He was used to her lording her knowledge over him. Involving him, however, was annoying. The onna was not someone he was going to allow to be fucked with and if Mukuro thought she would meddle she had another thing coming. And considering that her plans seemed to involve him, he had more of a reason to worry.

* * *

Well, that's all for now. I'm liking the turn this seems to have taken in response to my original plans. I can't say this is where I expected it to go when I started writing it, but we're here now.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! As always feel free to leave a comment or a review, and have a great day! :)


	17. Chapter 17: Can't Fight This Feeling

Hey guys!

I can't wait for school to start again guys. I'm longing for a set schedule where I won't be exhausted all the time. Part-time retail problems, though. I'm really grateful for the continued support and patience with me while I deal with inconsistencies and writer's block. You guys are awesome!

Thanks to Red-Rose-Cat, Sketchbananafairy, .7, icecreampuff for favouriting; CelticBlackRose, Distractionforyourthoughts, Insanity's Haven, Kuromi114, .501, purple-pygmy-puff16 and silverflame63 for following and Rebel-Keiki and a guest (I'm guessing it was .7 based on the tag but idk. There's a note at the bottom for whoever did.) for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

The Makai made me nervous, to say the very least. I didn't like the vibe I got off it and I doubted I ever would. Something about it set me on edge more than I thought I could be. I tugged on my septum ring, teeth sinking into my lower lip. Probably just my survival instincts telling me to get the hell out of Dodge. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Being surrounded by beings that could snap me like a twig wasn't pleasant.

Damon was supposed to come and get me for dinner with Mukuro and the family. I wasn't looking forward to sitting at a dinner table and making polite conversation with people I didn't know. I kind of ate wherever I sat down, we always had in my family. My beat up little kitchen table was more for extra prep space and tea that it was for actual meals. More often than not it was covered in spell ingredients and a cast iron cauldron. It was how I liked it.

I tugged at the end of my hair. I was still unused to the colour. The purple styled like any other colour I'd had, but it still didn't feel like… me. Though I suppose that was the point. The plain silver horseshoe was in my nose, that was me. The silver glasses were as well. The high waisted jeans and Uni hoodie were me circa my 20-year-old self, but that was ok. There was something comforting about putting on an old pair of jeans and a hoodie with worn cuffs that few things could replicate.

I knew full well that Dae wouldn't let me in public dressed like I was. Changing the hoodie for a cardigan was the only thing I'd do. The white tank top underneath had to be acceptable. It probably wasn't but I didn't care. It was only to keep Damon from trying to shove me into a dress again.

He knocked on my door just as I slipped the thick knit over my shoulders. Bursting through the door, he looked me over. "Do you always have to look like a sad emo librarian?" I glared at him. Yes, I wore a lot of sweaters. Yes, I had purple hair. But I liked to think that I was closer to the University graduate that never got her soul back from the administrators.

"Rude. I just like warm sweaters. I'm cold half the time, Dae, who cares."

"The one perk is your jeans make your ass look nice. And even that is hidden by the giant fucking sweater." He shook his head. "Goddammit, Fin, you're pretty! Act like it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Or, get this, I'm going to be comfy."

"There are comfy dresses and pretty shit. Botan does it all the time." My eyebrows shot up at that. "Same with Ame, Yukina and Keiko. If they look good, so can you." I shook my head, walking past him to the door.

"Can we just get this over with?" The brunet sighed, nodding. He followed me into the hall. Neither one of us wanted to be in the Makai, it just wasn't a choice. Then again, recent events hadn't given us much choice in anything. The walk down to the dining room was solemn. This wasn't a happy vacation. It was a refuge from something we were all terrified of. Something that might still get us in Mukuro's palace. Rebels got Nicholas II in his castle, it was still possible they'd get us. Maybe I was just a miserable pessimist, but the tournament had punished me with caution.

Akira was the only one who seemed excited about anything. He was just happy to not be in school in the beginning of November. At least he was into it. A small bundle of energy made the entire thing seem a little less dark. We were still in a dark place. He just made it seem lighter.

The dining room was beautiful. I wasn't sure what the opulence was about, but it suited Mukuro in an odd way. She looked perfectly at home, while Hiei looked a little… out of place. For someone that was going to take over he hardly looked like he belonged. If anything it was vague discomfort as he sat there. I was ushered into a seat by Damon. I kept quiet through the dinner conversation. I heard the boys and Mukuro discussing the rebellion, with Ame and Botan adding to the conversation alongside them. Yukina and Keiko were politely listening to the conversation. I take it neither of them were too involved with the Makai. Ame got into everything and Botan worked for Koenma, so I guess getting them involved made sense. Even Damon was involved.

I had nothing to contribute. I barely knew anything about the Makai. They had all been involved for years. I had only been involved for a few months and even then I kept it limited. Demons scared me and I wanted to keep out of it. Knowing my new family, I couldn't do anything to stay away. My two best friends were demons, for fuck's sake. But limiting my contributions meant there was little I could do to fuck up a society I knew nothing about.

The food in the Makai wasn't too unlike the food in the human world. There were things I recognized, and things I didn't. Most of it seemed like regular human food, but the weirdest thing was the meat. I had no idea what it was, so I stayed the hell away from it. I could always claim to be vegetarian. Mostly I just didn't trust what I didn't know.

It all tasted good, all things considered.

Keeping out of the conversation was the best thing for me. I heard it going on all around me, just the ramble of fight talk, everyone arguing and laughing. I loved it, I just didn't want to get involved. Fight talk made my stomach turn and going into pleasantries and the usual family stuff just seemed… wrong. I guess having faced the end of the world more than once they were ok. It was a first for me. I figured I was probably exaggerating, it wasn't like the rebels could ruin the world, not without enough people taking them down. Humans were a resilient bunch. We survived a lot; nothing destroyed the species yet.

I shook my head, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. There was no guarantee that everything would go to shit. More likely than not everyone would be fine. The guys knew what they were doing. They were as strong as Mukuro, and she was one of the strongest demons I'd ever felt besides them. Surely if they had all of them on their side we'd be fine. They were like the Seven from Percy Jackson. It would be fine.

* * *

Mukuro's rooms were even grander than Hiei's. Go figure.

It was a sight to see. Everything was the highest of quality and I was more than a little shocked. The wealth of the Makai was surely something to be in awe of. Everywhere I looked there was gold and silk draped from every surface. None of the colours really made sense together. The green , the red, the pink, the purple and the gold all clashed. Even though they didn't make sense, it still looked incredible.

"You look surprised," she said, sitting on her large puffed bed. "Why's that?"

I laughed, looking around. "You'll think it's stupid."

"Try me."

"I've never been around this much… wealth, I guess. I think part of me didn't expect the Makai to be like this." I shook my head, laughing at my own stupidity. "It's stupid to think. Why you guys would be any different from us is beyond me." Well, why their royalty would be any different from ours. Regular huamns didn't live like this, that was for damn sure.

Mukuro nodded. "Not all is like this. Not much is, truthfully. I like to keep it like this as a reminder of how far I've come. Hiei doesn't approve much but he doesn't argue either."

"I see… Fair enough. It's like me having my degree on my wall."

"Degree?" Right, most demons wouldn't know what that was. "Is that part of the human school system? I've asked Kurama about it, I'm looking in to setting up one in Alaric." I smiled. A school system for demons? That sounded awesome.

"Yeah, it's one of the higher education things. Basically you go through high school and then to University, where you can get three levels of degrees, one after the other." It wasn't a perfect explanation, but it was the basics.

"Which do you have?"

"Just a Bachelor's Degree, the lowest one. If I wanted to practice in my field I would need the highest, which is a Doctorate."

"I see. Why didn't you continue?"

That was a loaded question. "I moved here, I was planning on taking a year off before I continued. My parents had died, the family there and I don't get along and it's a lot of stress. Some relaxation was what I needed." It was the Cliffnotes of why I hadn't gone back, even though I should have. Part of me desperately wanted to, but I wasn't sure I could handle it as I was now.

"Didn't quite get that, did you?" I laughed, shaking my head.

"Not quite." I finished setting up the wards, and started smoking out the room. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had gone back to school and not come here."

"Do you think that everything happens for a reason?" I thought about that for a moment. "Believe in fate at all?" I was a witch. I believed in fate, I always had. It dictated a lot of my grandmother's beliefs that had seeped into mine. But even through all of that I had reservations. It was rare to get the magical side and the science side of me to agree.

"Well, it's hard to say," I began. "I don't think that everything does. I don't know about demons, but humans have a lot of senseless violence, wars, genocides, horrible things too numerous to mention. We're not always good, you know? But at the same time, we as a whole learned from things like that more often than not, even if it was supposed to be common sense. You'd think eradicating an entire race would be a bad idea but apparently some humans are just that dumb. However… I don't think that they happened for a reason.

"They happened. We learned. But it doesn't change that we would have been better off if they never had happened." I sighed. "I don't know.I just try to make it all work in my head."

Mukuro smiled at me. "You are an old soul for a human. I normally only get shit like that out of an old advisor to myself or Enki."

"You're not the first to call me that," I said. "I'll take it as a compliment."

"As long as you don't get as stuffy as those old men are, it is." She gestured to her couch across from the bed. "I'd like to talk, if you don't mind."

I hesitantly sat. I felt like I was being interrogated, or interviewed, but I suppose as the only one besides Damon that she didn't know in her own home I could make myself roll with it. "Sure. What about?"

"Hiei told me you've been having some trouble since the tournament." My face burned, eyes boring holes into the floor. I couldn't believe he had mentioned it. "I pushed him, don't be upset with him. I wanted to offer my help. We come from different circumstances but you have things I recognize in myself. The jumpiness, the hesitating around the kind of people who hurt you. It takes a lot of time to get over the initial reactions, sometimes you don't. But you learn to deal with them and I'd be glad to help if you want it."

I laughed slightly. "Thanks. You'd think for a psychologist I'd know better, because you're right, I just don't. It's different when you're in the position yourself, you know? Treating it in another is one thing. Dealing with it personally, it's harder to identify the problem."

"Hiei mentioned you studied minds. Is that the treating you mean?"

"I wanted to go into clinical psych, help people with mental illness. I've been depressed most of my life. Nothing I can actually control, it's my brain telling me that everything sucks and I should die. Makes me numb sometimes, which with the rest of it can be kind of a blessing until it comes rushing back," I said. "I know what to look for in others. It's nothing really complicated. Well it is but not the way you'd think. There's a reason you're not supposed to self-diagnose, though, because you can get into ruts. You miss symptoms, you misdiagnose. It's stupid, really, but that's how it is. I don't realize I'm on a bender until I'm almost out of it, for fuck's sake, and I've been living with it for years." I was rambling at this point, but I couldn't stop.

Mukuro smiled. "I'll admit I have no idea what most of what you just said means, and I think some of that was a different language, but I appreciate the honesty. You don't get to talk about it much, do you?" I shook my head, trying to hold back tears and embarrassment. "Has anyone told you anything of my past?"

"Not at all. All I really knew was that you were Lord of Alaric. I didn't know you were a girl until I saw you." I paused, mentally hitting myself. "Do you identify as female? Just realizing I should've asked."

"You're fine, people just guessed I was a man due to strength and position, I keep it because I like the sound of it. You get so used to a name after a while." She sighed. "Would you like to hear the story? It's rather sad and gruesome."

I frowned. "I don't want you to feel like you have to. Heaven knows there are things I don't want to talk about."

"I find telling people in the family helps the healing," she said. "And I'm taking that as a yes. I was born into slavery. My mother was kept by the man who sired me. She didn't survive the birth. The man was a horrible demon, abuse and rape were facts of everyday life. He'd had me altered through surgery to make it easier for him. As I grew he put a chip in my brain to make me think he was good whenever I thought about killing him. It didn't save him. When a man rapes you on your birthday every year and calls it a present nothing can save him. When I was seven I dumped acid on myself. He threw me out, thinking I was undesirable. Exactly as I hoped. I replaced the damaged parts with robotics designed by a human and gained a reputation for violence."

Her story shocked me and I knew she was lightening it for my sake. I wished she didn't have to but I understood why. It was a lot to drop on someone who didn't know you. It was almost worse to know I had been right from the start.

"You guessed something like that from the start, didn't you?" I looked back to her, confused. "You look sad, but not surprised."

"I had guessed you were a survivor," I admitted. "I don't think I could've guessed anything like that, though."

She laughed, loud and echoing through the room. "Don't look like you're a puppy I'm about to kick. When Hiei told me you studied minds I'd guessed that you'd notice it. While I hate to stereotype on top of that, women tend to notice it more than men. What made you guess?"

"I can't give you a solid answer," I said. "It was a gut feeling, just in the back of my mind. Part of it is probably how you carry yourself. I've known people who get out of bad homes or relationships and they start out kind of jumpy, with the typical signs you expect. As time goes on, it's more of a strong, take-no-bullshit kind of attitude. Always a little guarded, but never takes any shit. I'm probably just making an unjust stereotype, but it's what I've noticed." IN all honesty, it could have been magical intuition.

Mukuro stood, stretching slightly. "I like you, Finley. I'm glad to have you as part of the family. And thank gods Hiei has someone like you to keep him steady."

"He's lasted a long time without me."

"Almost a hundred years, but since he's found the family it's gotten better. And since you've come I've only seen him a few times but there's a change. More patient."

I laughed. "Hiei? Patient? That's hilarious."

"Normally, I would agree with you. He doesn't act like it often, especially in battle." Mukuro sighed. "The man's nearly a hundred now; he's learning to slow down. You need that in a ruler and I think having a more… relaxing friend helps."

The most unlady-like snort came from me. "I'm relaxing? You should be a comedian. I have a feeling being friends with me is more stressful than you'd think."

"Around you he doesn't have to worry about a war, about business and battle. You appear to be an intellectual. A human witch with a decent education could challenge some of his ideas. It's an odd way to say it, but you're a healthy distraction from stress even with issues of your own. He doesn't mind anyways as long as he can keep an eye on his family. And now that includes you." A wry smile came over her face. "He needs someone who loves him anyways."

I frowned. "He has the entire family. And you." It didn't make sense that my loving him would make any difference when he has one of the most loving families I'd ever really seen, let alone been a part of. Mine had always been a little dysfunctional on my mother's side and I hardly ever saw my grandparents as they lived in Japan. Hiei's family seemed closer and more loving, even from my spot on the outskirts of it.

"Not the kind of love that I meant."

"What?" My cheeks went hot as I stuttered. "I don't…. not like that. Hiei's probably one of my best friends. He's on par with Damon now." I knew about as much about Hiei as I did Damon at any rate, even though these days I spent more time with Hiei. But I didn't love him. Not like that.

"Friendship can often lead to it." Once I thought about it, no. Not really. The ideas had crossed my mind in some way. He was definitely what I considered attractive. And he was intelligent and sarcastic in a funny way, which made up the majority of my crushes in the past. Couldn't have a crush on someone I didn't think was interesting or funny. And I did rely on Hiei.

"Maybe," I admitted. One thing weighed on my mind more than anything. "I don't want to, though."

"Is he not good enough?"

"No, no!" I said, waving my hands in denial. "Not even close. If anything he's too good. But even if I did have feelings for Hiei, which I still doubt, there's always going to be a question in the back of my head." Her eyebrows raised, asking me silently to continue. "Do I love him because I love him, or do I love him because he makes me feel good?"

She frowned. "And it can't be both?"

"His energy makes me feel safe. Fire makes me feel safe. Always has." It was weird to say, but it did. "And I can't guarantee that it would be real. He helps me to feel normal again. I can't keep a candle going at all time, y'know? And I would always be questioning if I was using him. It doesn't matter if I can do both. It matters that I can't be sure because of how I am."

"I see." She sighed, smiling sadly at me. "I hope you come to a different realization. He deserves something good and fuck knows you do too."

"You're probably right. I just don't think we're going to be like that for each other."

I left, walking back to my room and following the familiar traces of Damon's energy. Hiei was still in his room as I passed it. I shook my head. No need to think that now. Thank god he couldn't read my mind well. At least not the English words.

Mukuro's words bounced around my head. I hated it. She made me nervous thinking like that. That I could love Hiei. The idea wasn't… crazy? Was it? I knew I could; it wasn't stupid. Hiei had few faults in my eyes; which was ridiculous when I thought about it. But love? I was fucked up enough. Did I really have the determination to do it now?

I could barely hold myself together, I couldn't support another person too. I couldn't do it.

Part of me wanted it. He was great, but there was no way it would work. I was a fragile human. A witch, but still human. With human ideas and a human lifespan. Ame had switched, and Kuwabara and Keiko were going to soon, but I wasn't sure I could. Not unless I loved a demon more than anything and after everything I doubted that. I hated myself for it but I didn't think I would.

Even after having a demon basically moving into my house I felt like my fear would always be there. Just hanging back in my mind and not resolving itself. Even if I wanted to, there was always the question of if I really could. I couldn't stand the fear. Being realistic about it was hard. No one was ever going to hurt me in the family and they would try to keep my safe from everyone else. The truth was that no one was going to be there forever. Eventually I would be alone by some fluke and with my luck that would be how I died. I would always have the fear hanging in the back of my head and there was nothing I could do.

I laid there, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. My phone sat on the bedside table, tempting me. Read some fanfiction. Listen to some shitty 90's pop music. Spend three hours playing Pokemon Shuffle. So many possibilities. Wait, did the Makai even have wifi? Hadn't checked that yet. My phone went to my hand and the settings open.

No Wifi. So Pokemon Shuffle was out. Alright. I opened up the kindle app, looking through my book selection. I wasn't a fan of electronic books. There was something comfortable about holding a book in your hands and snuggling down in thick socks that nothing could replace. But in a pinch while traveling I made due with electronic.

Most of what I had were classics. Shakespeare, Austen, Stoker, Rowling. Books and series that I had read and reread time and time again. I had brought some experimental books with me, ones that I hadn't read yet, but I figured if I was travelling I wanted something comforting. Falling into a familiar world helped. Whenever I needed to take a break I could always count on something like the life of Elizabeth Bennet, or life on the Argo II, or the halls of Hogwarts. It always helped me, at least a little. Familiar techniques of escapism that I forced out as self-care. Not a real technique, but hey, I could have been addicted to heroin or something. At least it was just books and tea.

* * *

About 10 pages into The Lost Hero I fell asleep.

 _I sat at my kitchen table, nursing a mug of tea. The warm scent of a baking pecan pie filled the room, underscored by lavender and sage incense. At my counter stood my grandmother, apron around her waist. Her grey hair was tied into a loose braid. Bits of flour and powdered sugar were all over the countertops as remnants of the pie in the oven. Now it appeared that she was making cookies. She baked when she was stressed. Baking magic into cookies and pies was the easiest way for her to work her magic as an old lady._

 _"A witch in the Makai, who would've thought?" I laughed at my grandma's tone. Sarcastic as always. "This is not the place for our kind, Finley, you know that."_

 _I shrugged, looking into my cup of tea. "I know. But they're family now. I'm not going to abandon them, and they want me to be safe. Fuck knows they know demons better than I do." I knew she hated demons, but she was dead and not in the situation I was. If she was sat in the middle of a rebellion she'd be in the Makai, too._

 _"Language, Finley," she chastised. "I've taught you better than that."_

 _"Because cursing in Scottish every few seconds while cooking was teaching me better."_

 _She glared at me. I knew she hated swearing, even though she did it more than anyone I knew. Thought it was bad for anyone under the age of 60 to be doing it regularly. She was a ball of contradictions. I got that from her. Neither of us could really make up our minds in any deciding way without some dedicated thought and at her age she flat out refused to._

 _"Tell me about the boy."_

 _"Damon?" I asked. "He's an asshole."_

 _"The demon, Finley. Don't be smart with me."_

 _"Damon is a demon." Another glare. "What about Hiei?"_

 _"You know what about." She cursed in Scottish, waving a wooden spoon at me. "You have feelings for this boy. What are you going to do about it?"_

 _"Ignore the problem until it goes away." A bad answer, but the only one I had. What was I supposed to do? Tell him? Yeah, fuck that. He would freak the fuck out and I would end up heartbroken with one less friend. I needed him._

 _The wooden spoon hit the side of my head. "Bad! You know better!"_

 _"Ow! What the fuck!" I yelled, pain searing through my head. "Look, I totally do, but he isn't exactly a loving person, Grandma. He'd freak out and then I'd be heartbroken and down a friend!"_

 _"You know full well you won't get over it until you tell him. So do it. Make sure he knows that you don't need him to love you back, just to let you move on. Surely he's kind enough for that." I wished he was. But the problem wasn't his kindness. It was the lack of understanding that I expected when it came to Hiei and human emotions, and that scared me more than anything. I expected him to freak and me to lose him._

 _"I love him, Grandma. I'm not ready to lose him yet. Especially over things I'm not sure of yet."_

 _"Love him as a friend or as a lover, Finley? There's a big difference."_

 _I was silent for a few moments. "I don't know." I had no idea._

 _"Yes, you do." I jumped, looking around the small kitchen. My grandfather stood there, smiling at me with a twinkle in his eyes. The same thing he always had. I hadn't gotten much from him except his personality. He was a fighter with a warm heart and comforting demeanor. My grandmother, as great as she was, wasn't like that. I didn't realize that my grandfather was as compassionate as he was. I heard stories of his fights as a child but had never connected the dots. I figured he just loved me because I was his baby. As the daughter of his only son, I was the little girl he'd always kind of wanted and just never had. They'd had Dad later in life and didn't want to risk to another kid._

 _He was the one who had always understood me and all my little idiosyncrasies. Anything that I was struggling with he had been through. Even my father didn't get me as well as he had._

 _"Gramps…"_

 _"Finley, you know exactly how you feel. It just depends on whether or not you're ready to accept it and act." I nodded, staring at the old kitchen table I knew so well. My fingers traced a gouge in the wood. I knew he was right. Gramps was always right. I just wasn't going to admit it._

* * *

I woke up staring at the unfamiliar ceiling. Nothing too different from the walls, just a boring ceiling. But it wasn't mine. I wanted to be at home, in my bed. Without cryptic dreams of my grandparents telling me I was in love with Hiei.

They still tried to screw with my love life from their afterlife.

As far as I could tell the sun hadn't come up yet. Did they have a sun in the Makai? It probably wasn't my sun. Then again I hadn't looked to see if there was a giant ball of flaming gas in the sky, so who knew? The Makai was layered; they couldn't all have their own suns.

I got dressed, pulling on leggings and my baggy old Metallica t-shirt. Same old runners as always. I pulled my hair into a messy little ponytail. Some makeup was added and I felt like a real human again. I felt it usually made all the difference. It was usually hidden by my glasses anyways.

My hands went to my septum ring. Tugging on it was bad, but the nervous habit never seemed to leave.

About an hour or two after I got up, I opened my door, looking around. Kurama stood in the hall, gently closing the door to his room. He looked up, smiling at me. "Finley, you're up early."

"Didn't really sleep," I said with a shrug. "Why are you up?"

"Meeting. We're all supposed to be discussing rebel strategies before breakfast. Not that Yusuke and Kuwabara seem to be up yet…" He sighed. "Care to join us?"

"Sure." I stretched, extending my arms above my head and bouncing on my toes. "Will there be tea?" He just laughed.

"We can make it happen." He watched me for a moment. "Mukuro didn't scare you, did she? I know she can be somewhat intimidating if you aren't used to her."

I shrugged, following him down the hall. "No, she was pretty nice, actually. I expected her to be scary and mean. Total opposite though."

"That's good. She wasn't the biggest fan of the other humans when she first met. The usual hesitance that a lot of demons have with humans." He shrugged. "When Hiei gave his approval it helped, at least with Ame. I still don't think she's too fond of Kuwabara or Keiko."

"Why is Ame any different?"

"She decided to become a demon. And Hiei was there when Akira was born. If he was in charge of Akira, he was damn well going to have everyone like Ame. He's Akira's godfather for a reason. Without Hiei, Akira might not have come into this world safely." Kurama chuckled softly. "Still wasn't the safest circumstance, but he was alive and well which is all I really cared about. I intend to be present for the next kid."

I laughed. "Hiei the Midwife. Who'd have thunk it?"

"A victim of circumstance, I'm afraid. He's vowed never to be so involved in childbirth again." Kurama laughed. "One of the only jokes I've ever heard him make was about that."

"Oh?"

"Something about how he's seen the cruelties of war and death and yet the worst thing he'd ever seen was the beginning of new life," he said. "It's something Ame will still tease him about."

"I can imagine. Doesn't seem like something Hiei would want to do again." It wasn't something I wanted to do period. I liked kids well enough, and maybe someday I'd want my own. But not any time soon. Childbirth was something you knew the basics of but when you really sat down and thought about it, it sounded horrifying.

* * *

The meeting room was massive. The center was filled with a large table covered in maps and pens. I stood off to the side, watching as everyone filed in. A quieter demon brought in a rolling tray with tea and food on it. As they all made pleasantries, I helped myself to a cup of tea. Wasn't sure what it was, but I hoped it wouldn't be anything toxic. They knew Kuwabara was human. I wasn't expected, but he definitely was.

The room was heavy. I knew Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara. Other than that I knew Mukuro. The others were new to me. One was tall and kind of intimidating, with a strange hat and harsh black eyes. He didn't look at me , just stared at the maps in front of him. I felt like he was probably under Hiei in terms of Mukuro's army. The other guy was below him in power, but he was scarier. He wasn't as big as the other, maybe Kurama's height. I got a bad gut feeling from him. The mohawk on his head wasn't as large as the drunk guy from the tournament, but his eyes were pure venom. Him, I would steer clear of. When in doubt be quiet and listen. Speak when spoken to.

Don't get killed.

"They keep coming from the eastern border," the tallest demon said. "We suspect that they are camped in Yomi's territory, but until he agrees to cooperate we can't do anything. Enki still believes that diplomacy is the best method. At the very least we can keep them out of Alaric and Tourin, if not Gendara and the Capital."

"Have we determined where they go the most?" Kurama asked. "Perhaps then we can devise where in Yomi's territory they are hiding."

The tallest one pointed to an area on the map. "They raid these towns first and have since spread. I would guess that their base would be around this area. More practically they would attack a town far from their base to throw off any suspicion. They appear intelligent so this could very well be the case."

"Fuck. So they could be fucking anywhere." Yusuke cursed. "What can we do to get rid of them now? Can we predict the next raid?"

"No… they seem to be attacking at random, going between Tourin and Alaric. A few towns in Gendara have been attacked." The scary one with the mohawk was talking now. "Likely because they don't want to attract Yomi's wrath anymore than they have to. It's an easy place to hide and naturally the idiot can't actually hear everything in his territory."

"Kenzan, that's enough," Mukuro said. "Yomi is a good man and I won't have him insulted." That was the first time I'd ever heard a voice go that low and that sharp. If it was directed at me I was sure it would cut me into ribbons and I wouldn't even feel it. She was terrifying. I knew she had huge power laying just underneath the surface. This was a display of that power without her having to throw a single punch.

Hiei spoke next. "He's not wrong. Yomi needs to control his territory. The rebels are a problem. If they get enough demons to their cause we wouldn't stand a chance." I frowned. Hiei? Not standing a chance? I wasn't sure I believed that. The thing I was surprised they weren't doing, however, was anti-rebel propaganda. At least it didn't sound like they were. In most societies you knew the government said not to hang out with whoever it was they were against. Was it good? No. But it was effective and in cases where thousands of lives were on the line it was necessary.

Red eyes looked to me. "Does that work?" I looked at Hiei, confused. "Onna, the pictures you were thinking of. Do they work?"

"Um…" All eyes were on me. Most of them were kind and curious, but the two demons were not friendly. "Yeah, sometimes. You gotta do it right but it worked for humans during most of our wars."

"Care to share?" Yusuke asked.

"Um, just propaganda posters and stuff. There's probably a bounty on the rebels we know already, like Matt and the ones who attacked with him, but sometimes that helps. Or making posters and stuff in the towns and cities about how awesome life is since the King tournament thingy and make people remember why it's good. If they love their lives the way they are they're more likely to come forward with information…" I trailed off towards the end, cowering under the glares of the two demons. "I don't know enough about your society to say it will though…"

Mukuro nodded. "No, that's a good idea. I hadn't thought of that. Appeal to base nature and get the civilians more aware. Good call on bringing her, Kurama. Insight to the mind may prove helpful." I smiled at her, nursing the cup of tea close to my chest.

"The civilians already hate the rebels," Kenzan said, voice cold and biting. "Getting the civilians more aware is fucking useless. They're terrified of the rebels."

"They need a drive to preserve their way of life," Kurama said. "The fear can't hold them forever and there's a lot of demons that may want to raise up with a push. At the very least it will show that we don't' agree with what the rebels are pushing and that we're willing to be open about it. Civilians might respond to that well, more so if they already agree with us."

"You're going to take the advice of a witch?"

Kuwabara glared at Kenzan. "Hey. She is just a part of this as anyone else. Fin is part of this family and you will treat her that way."

"Or what, human?"

Hiei glared at the two of them. "Enough. Oaf, calm yourself. Kenzan, another word against her and you lose rank." Kenzan glared at me, but remained silent. Thank god for Hiei. I was shocked that Hiei had pulled rank, he never seemed the type to do so. He was a person to hit first and ask questions later, the leader side of him was a change from the person I was used to.

I watched the rest of the meeting in silence as they talked on about patrol strategies, combining with Yusuke's territory. They made plans that I didn't understand and didn't really care to. The less I knew, the better I would feel about it. Even locator spells wouldn't be super useful to me. I had never been very good at them.

Each person in the room was interesting to study, but my attention was completely taken up by Hiei. I knew he wasn't focusing on me, so I could think freely.

He was definitely attractive, there as no doubt about it. The dark, spiked hair and burning red eyes were probably his best features. He had nice skin, which I was jealous of. Hiei could tan, I couldn't. His body was also fantastic, if packed into a smaller frame. He was taller than me, though. I couldn't say much. Hiei stuck to mostly black clothes, all in an older style. Jeans would suit him well. He would probably hate the lack of mobility. I had never seen what was under the bandages around his arm and forehead. He hadn't told me and while I was curious, I didn't ask.

His personality was good. If abrasive. He was sweet when he wanted to be. He cared deeply about his family and worked hard for everything he had. Determination was definitely attractive. And his intelligence was a huge plus. He could challenge my ideas and I his. It made us good friends. Complicated, but good. I loved spending time with him. I didn't love that he could read my mind. It helped during a flashback or a nightmare. Other than that it was kind of invasive. At least he didn't speak English, or I'd be fucked. He'd hear everything I said about him. I talked a lot of shit about everything, but he didn't need to hear me studying him all the time as I was doing.

Hiei was my best friend. He hadn't quite pushed out Damon; he was equal. The problem was I wanted more from Hiei.

I loved him.

Fuck.

* * *

Well that was a fun one. Fin has realized what we (and Mukuro) have known for a while. I liked having a chapter more dedicated to Fin. Damon gets more of a spotlight soon, however. He's one hell of a character to write and he's one that never wants to stay in character when I write him.

Mukuro is one tough cookie to write. I love her, I really do, but we got so little characterization with her during the show and manga that I get to have some fun with her. I felt like she always knew way more than she let on.

In reference to the Guest review, I just want to thank whoever wrote it. I'm glad you find it interesting. And yeah, a lot of research goes into what I write. I'm a total dork that dabbles in witchcraft myself, and besides that I like authenticity. Typically I respond to the inbox of whoever sent a review, but any guest ones will be down here to keep the top from getting to congested for those who don't care about the end notes.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always feel free to leave a review or comment and have a great day!


	18. Chapter 18: Lullaby

Hi guys!

I'm not dead. I promise. I'm back in school and dying on the inside, but I'm alive. There's no real excuse for why it's taking me so long, just a lack of inspiration and time. In between all the school stuff it's hard to make the words go. The support from you guys has been great though, so thank you all so much for that.

In happier news, we've hit 5k views! YAY! You guys are amazing!

Thanks to Rainnyash, Darkangel Guard, Tears of Forgotten Shadows and Moonlightsong of Thunderclan for following; Larka'sSight, and SkyLion27 for favoriting; and animelover56348, erin tunney.7, BreakingSerenity0629 and Kristy Himura for reviewing.

Also, some of you guys have usernames that would make amazing band names, just saying.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Thankfully I didn't end up in the meeting room for too long. It was not a good place for a 5 foot 1 witch with nothing to reasonably contribute to a military. We left for breakfast. The two demons, Keiran and Kenzan (I really hoped the two were related with names that close) joined us. They didn't join any of the conversations. Considering Keiko and Botan were talking about a soap, Ame and Kurama were entertaining Akira and Yusuke and Kuwabara were talking about UFC, I felt that was fair. I recognized a few names that Yusuke and Kuwabara mentioned, but only because I had been forced to watch matches by my father.

Damon sat on one side of me, Hiei just down and across. I felt better sitting close to the two of them. Between the glares of the two demons I didn't know and the awkward conversation, I at least had them. Not that I could make any eye contact with Hiei. All I could do was keep him the fuck out of my mind while I was in the same room as him. And keep it to myself around Damon. I really didn't need to let Damon know about any of it.

He was guaranteed to make a bigger stink about than Hiei was. He wanted me to get into a relationship, but most importantly he wanted me to get laid. Not a bad idea, just not right now. Especially not in my in love with a man without being emotionally stable enough to confirm it. Just a recipe for disaster overall.

However, my idiot best friend kept eyeing me from the side. I didn't like that look. That look clearly said that he knew something was going on and he was going to figure it out. I hated that attitude. He was going to terrorize me the second Hiei was out of sight.

Hiei looked me over. Just a frown, and then a voice in my head. _Onna, we're going to train today. Come so you get outside._ I looked up at him, sighing.

 _I will._

 _Have Damon walk with you. I'll assign a guard if you leave the rest of the group._ That shocked me. Why did he think I needed to be with people? _Just do it._

 _Ok. Will do. Is everything ok?_

 _Fine. Just watch out._ I didn't like the tone he thought in, however weird that was to think about.

He was probably right, honestly. He knew the Makai better than I ever hoped to. This was his domain and I had to trust that he knew best. I hated that he could read me so well. Part of my misery was due to him, not that I'd ever tell him that. Unrequited love was a real bitch. The other part was being stuck in a world of beings that would love ripping my head off or eat me.

The glare of Kenzan wasn't helping that feeling.

After breakfast, we all went out to go see the army training. Yusuke and Kuwabara managed to hype up Damon into their sparring frenzy, which made me shudder a little. I hadn't seen anyone fight for real since the tournament. Sparring with them just seemed even worse. They had been holding back in the tournament. The image of them fighting with full power terrified me. I felt like I'd get the wind knocked out of me just watching them.

Damon drifted back to where I was hiding at the back of the group. "So, how are you?" I glared at his singsong tone. "Don't glare at me. Someone looks a little lovelorn."

"Two words, Dae. Fuck. Off." At least the idiot picked English to discuss this in. The only person that could listen in was Botan, and Akira's English wasn't developed enough that he could understand if he even managed to pay attention to us.

"You gonna tell him?"

"Is it gonna make a difference?" I sighed, tugging on the end of my shirt. "Either way I'm heartbroken and down a decent relationship with a friend."

The brunet nodded. "I see. So, we're gonna go for the 'ignore it til it goes away' school of thought? I'm down. In the same boat, possibly." I followed his eyes to our blue haired friend.

"Certain ferry girl?" I whispered.

"Cork it. If it gets out, I'm killing you." Damon dragged a hand through his hair. "Anyways, it's not like I know how to have a healthy relationship. I just fuck things and hope they don't want anything more."

I nodded, frowning. "Damn, we have some healthy coping mechanisms, don't we?"

"No kidding…" He burst out laughing. "Fuck, we're a couple of sadsacks. I have commitment issues and you fall for sociopaths."

"He's not a sociopath…"

"You sure?" I glared at him, eyebrow cocked. "Right, you're a shrink. You'd know."

"An unqualified one, but yes. Also, I've read a textbook in my time. You should try it."

Damon rolled his eyes. "I stole a few of your old ones. They're at my place." I stared at him. "Yeah, I took your introductory textbooks. No need to look so betrayed."

"Jackass…" Of course he took my books without asking.

* * *

The training grounds were nothing spectacular. Like the soccer fields outside of elementary schools, only much, much bigger. Damon stared in awe.

"Dude, this is like 8 football fields." What an American. I think it was larger than even that. Across the fields were groups of demons, all sparring in various ways. My arms wrapped around my waist, hugging tightly. I didn't like this one bit. Violence was one thing. Being dwarfed by the power of everyone around me was another. There was something about being surrounded by demons that made me very aware of my own mortality, and even more aware that all of them could and would kill me given the chance.

Yusuke and Kuwabara ran into a makeshift arena, taunting each other. Damon bounced on the balls of his feet. Anxious energy poured off him, but not the same anxious energy that I knew I had. He was excited.

I watched Yusuke and Kuwabara exchange blows, nothing too exciting. Just further proof that I was way out of my league hanging out with people like them. Every blow was felt in the hollow of my chest. They echoed through me like I was the one getting hit. The two were so incredibly strong.

It wasn't until Yusuke let out his Spirit Gun that I realized how fucked I was if I ever fought Yusuke. The only thing that kept me on my feet were the hands of Damon on my shoulders. I almost fell right over. It sent shockwaves of spirit energy around the field. I turned, staring from Damon to Hiei and back to the two fighting in the ring.

"I'm glad they're on our side…" I nodded, staring at them. Damon wasn't wrong. They were so… scary. Horrifically scary. It made me remember why I was so happy they were on the humans side. Though it didn't make me feel any. I really, really hated fighting.

The next people up were Kurama and Hiei. That was something I didn't want to watch. But part of me couldn't look away. I hated the idea of watching Hiei fight. Or someone like Kurama, who I saw as a father first and foremost and a fighter second. I liked them the way that I knew them. No other way. Insanely naive, but I needed to cling to something. I couldn't be the kind pf person that was ok with violence.

I knew Hiei was a warrior. What else could he be? He was strong, intense and decisive. He kicked my ass into the next millennium. Everything about him terrified me. And yet as always, I was drawn to him like I always was to fire. It was ok, though. I could deal. Just pretend nothing was different and try to always think in English around him.

I watched the two as they geared up to fight. I knew I wasn't going like what I was about to see. Every part of me wanted to look away but I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from it. Hiei stood across the way from Kurama. Both stared at each other with a small smirk. It looked nearly identical on both of them. A testament to how long the two had been friends.

Hiei took his weird fighting stance that I had never seen before. Not until him. He was bent at the waist, arms both angled towards his sword. One thing I would admit: watching Hiei fight was like watching art. His talent was undeniable, but I could hardly stand to watch him in an actual fight. Training was one thing. Fighting against a fox demon who, from my personal experience, had little remorse in battle was another. I knew Kurama wouldn't actually hurt him. I was pretty sure that he couldn't hurt Hiei if he tried. If anything, they'd do equal damage.

It was just the lingering fear in the back of my mind that someone I loved would get hurt. It was a fear I thought I would never get rid of. It was stuck in the back of my mind. Though in all fairness, I had watched Damon almost die. I had seen the bodies of my parents and I had seen Takuma get the living daylights beat out of him by a (now) friend of mine.

I made a mental note to bug Hiei about Takuma later. I really did miss the guy and wanted to see how well he had gotten on since he got to the Makai. Heaven knows that I could've been doing better. I hoped at the very least he had gotten into the army instead of utterly bombing. He was more than capable of that. Sure, he wasn't as strong as Hiei was, but few people were.

It was at that moment I realized how easy Hiei had gone on me. He moved so fast I couldn't even see him. I caught flashes of a blade. Nothing else. Kurama was a little slower, but still to the point where it was hard to see him. I barely could. It was more the sweeping flow of the vines. I heard clash after clash. Thank god I had my glasses or I would be more than just lost. I'd be on another planet.

The fight left like it lasted hours as I watched it. In reality I knew it was only a few minutes. I still couldn't tell who won, but Hiei came out smiling and Kurama shook his head. Then I saw the small tear running across the front of Kurama's shirt. Hiei had gotten him, and had it been a real strike instead of training, Kurama would've been killed. There were minor scratches on both of them, but that was the one in a vital area. I assumed that was the case. I still barely understood what was happening. Granted I wasn't one who got fighting in general. Damon had tried by attempting to make me play UFC games and watch the fights with him.

Still managed to cheer for the dude who was losing and end up sabotaging my own character.

Mukuro stepped up next, sparring against Yusuke. Hiei stood next to me. "You can leave, onna." I stared at him, a little offended. "Takuma is coming to walk you around. Anyone can see you don't handle this well." He wasn't wrong, but it hurt to hear it spoken out loud. Especially from him.

"It's not that bad…"

"You're shaking." I looked down at my hands. Fuck. My hands shook violently. I hadn't even noticed I was doing it. Digging my nails into my hands to stop the shaking, I nodded. I hated that he knew me so well, but as always, he was right. I didn't know what else I was expecting. That maybe I would be right for once?

Like that would happen.

A hand tapped me on the shoulder. "Come on, Fin, let's get you out of here." I looked up, smiling at the bat demon behind me. Takuma was a sight for sore eyes. Red eyes, dark skin and massive ass wings. I hugged him. He tensed up, but I didn't care. I was just thrilled he made it here in one piece. "Ok, I'm happy to see you too. Now get the fuck off of me."

"Fuck off, you love me."

He looked me over for a second. "Do I?" I frowned, glaring up at him. "I'm kidding. Hey Damon. Nice to see you."

"You too," Damon greeted. "I'm not gonna hug you, I think you'd kill me."

"Not wrong." Takuma looked down at me. "Not your thing?" I looked back towards where Yusuke and Mukuro fought.

I nodded, nails cutting into my palms. "Yeah. You know me, the only thing I fight is Pokemon." Even then with Pokemon Amie and shit I made sure to pet and feed my mons after every fight. If I was going to pit my babies against others, I had to at least treat them nicely.

Hiei looked at Takuma. "Start with the stables. Other than that, you know what's expected." What was expected? I didn't like that he was dictating where I went. But horses were cool, so I could get on board with that. Maybe demon horses would be cool. Hopefully friendly.

Damon looked at me, a small smirk growing on his face. "I'll tag along. Never seen a demon horse before." I knew what that really meant. That was his way of saying that I was about to get grilled. Which I had coming, to be fair. Both of us had our secrets and we had agreed to put them out in the open. At least to each other. But in light of recent events I got to grill him, too. It would at least be fun for me.

The three of us left, walking back towards the castle. Damon grinned at me the second we were out of earshot. "So, Takuma, have you heard about our little witch's new crush?"

"I will fucking end you."

"Shut up, Fin. She's into your boss."

Takuma frowned. "Mukuro or Hiei?"

"Hiei, though I could totally see you with Mukuro. Like a kitten and a giant fuck off tiger getting it on." I glared at Damon.

"Dude, shut up. It's nothing serious. I'm just going to ignore it until it goes away. He'd freak and I'd lose a friend." I smiled at Takuma. "Guess who has a hardon for the Grim Reaper, though."

Damon socked me in the arm. "Bitch, fucking shut up! I don't do relationships, she's just pretty, and nice, and smells good…." He drifted off, then his eyes went wide. "Mother fucker. She's immortal, right? Think she could stand up to me?" I glared at him, rubbing my arm.

"She can stand your personality; I think that's the biggest barrier you have," Takuma said, voice a perfect monotone. A snort burst from me as I tried to keep from laughing. Damon's red face turned from one of us to the other, eyebrows drawn together.

"You guys fucking suck!" He yelled. "One of you is in love with a demon that tried to kill her and the other is an emotionally dead bat demon! So... there!" Takuma and I looked at each other, then shrugged. Nothing he said was exactly wrong.

"And you're a cambion with commitment issues," I said. "Welcome to the club." Then I spotted the giant corral. "Um, Takuma…. Is that the stables?"

He looked down at me, smirking. "Yep."

Trotting around the corral were massive horses. All of them were at least twice my height, with black fur and burning manes. Good fucking god. A few were peacefully walking around, minding their own business. Two looked like they were out to kill each other, teeth taking chunks out of the other's neck. The few demons trying to rip them apart were coming out worse for wear.

"They're pretty impressive," Damon said. I couldn't do anything but nod. Impressive, sure. Terrifying, absolutely. "Not sure why Hiei thought you'd like this, though."

"He knows I like animals, I think... I'm not sure he understands what most ningen animals are like." I muttered. He had encountered a cat, maybe, or squirrels. Not much else. Maybe this was how he thought all horses acted. It wasn't how all horses acted. I was raised in Alberta. Most of my mom's family had horses. These were not normal horses.

Damon hopped up onto the bottom rail of the fence, looking over. I climbed up next to him, leaning back a little more. One of the larger horses walked up to us, sniffing slightly. Damon moved his hand to pet him, going for the side of the horse's nose.

This was how I learned Damon was shit with animals.

The horse bucked, startled by the sudden hand entering it's vision. Damon fell back, landing hard on his ass. "What did I do?" he demanded. I sighed, looking from the horse to Takuma.

"They don't eat humans, do they?"

"No, mostly rotting meat. These guys are scavengers in the wild." I nodded. That wasn't horrifying. Not one bit. I wasn't going to question Takuma's knowledge of demon animals. He lived and worked at the castle, surely he had to know something.

I stuck my hand out to the horse, clicking softly. "Come here, bud, it's ok." It had always worked with the horses back home, but then again I had known most of them since I was 5. This one could've decided I was lunch pretty damn quick and I'd become a member of the Skywalker clan. The horse looked at me for a moment. It seemed to be thinking 'what the fuck is this thing' but nonetheless came back over. I stoked it's nose, exhaling. It seemed to like me. It hadn't bucked or tried to bite me. I was going to call it a stroke of good luck. I needed something.

Takuma looked at me in shock. "I did not expect that to work."

"What the fuck, Fin?" Damon pushed to his feet, staying away from the fence. "How do you know how to do that?"

I gave him a look. "I'm from the Canadian equivalent to Texas. I've been around horses. Plus, animals like me. Don't know why. Always have."

"What the fuck." I rolled my eyes. "How are you so good with them? They've always hated me." To be fair, people didn't like it when you randomly stuck hands in their faces either.

"Dude, animals tend to like witches. It's a weird thing. Grandma always said it had something to do with a connection to nature or some shit." I figured that it was because kitchen witches like her always smelled like food, but who knew? She was confusing as fuck.

Takuma nodded. "I'd heard that. Don't they usually have familiars and shit?"

"Yeah. Grandma had Althea. Bitchy old cat."

"You never did?" I shook my head. "Why not? I thought you guys worked better with cats. It used to be how demons tracked you guys down."

I glared at him. "As much as that is now the reason I will never get a cat, it's only because I lived in places that didn't allow animals. I wasn't even allowed fish where I lived. Certainly not in Uni. I mostly hang out with plants."

"Surely Damon counts as a famililar?" I looked at the idiot cowering away from a different horse. I looked to the horse I was petting. He seemed to be liking it. Then we heard a loud scream. The three of us looked at Damon and the different horse. There was burning shirt on the ground and a panicked Damon sitting next to it.

"Damon… is fucking useless with magic and does shit like that." I shook my head, looking back to my horse. "So, hell no he's not. I'd rather have this guy."

Takuma bent down for a second. "Definitely a guy… and he's on fire so maybe he'd be a good fit. He hasn't bit you yet. Most of their handlers are missing fingers and shit because of them."

"I'm sure he's just one of the nicer ones."

"HOW? HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!" I jumped a bit, looking at the demon running up to us. One hand was covered in a thick black glove, the other was missing entirely. He stared at me, then the horse.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"That! They don't like to be pet. Kuronushi takes less out of us than the rest do, but no one touches them like that." I looked back to the horse, then to the demon, shrugging. It was nice that I picked the good horse. I didn't need to hang out with the horse that hated everyone. Most bitchy animals thought I took a lot of getting used to.

"Don't know man, I'm probably the least threatening thing they've ever encountered," I joked. "It's not like I'm a scary person. I bet demon mice are scarier than I am."

Takuma shook his head. "You're like a boogey man to most of these demons, Finley. If anything he just doesn't think you're any different from a normal human."

"You're not a normal human?" the stable demon asked. "You're one of Lord Hiei's friends, aren't you?" We nodded. "Are you related to Miss Ame or Lady Keiko?"

"No, I'm just a recent friend." Then his eyes widened.

"Oh." He took a step back. "You're the… witch then?" I flinched at the look of fear. I hated that I got that response from demons. Even demons that didn't know me, so they didn't know that I was definitely not a threat to anyone.

Damon glared at the guy, taking a step infront of me. "Don't you fucking dare." Where Damon read threat from that guy was beyond me.

The demon immediately put his hand up. "I didn't mean to be rude. We're all a little wary of witches here. But if Lord Hiei is alright with you, you can't be bad. He has good taste in character."

I smiled at him. "No need to apologize. Most demons are scared of me for some reason. I'm not really a very scary person, but I know we have a bad reputation with you guys." It stung like hell, but there was nothing I could do about how he initially saw me. Especially if he was changing his mind.

"It's not uncommon. Many of us are old enough to remember the witches when there were more," he explained. "While you never seem intimidating, the power you have can destroy the best of us." I looked from Takuma to Damon, then back to the demon. My friends were clearly trying to stop from laughing.

Damon burst out laughing. "Dude, she got Hiei down for like 2 seconds because he wasn't trying. And she still feels guilty for it."

Takuma nodded. "She's about as powerful as the runt hellhound. And she won't bite if you scare her." That wasn't exactly true, but Takuma hadn't been there when I attacked Hiei. If you scared me the right way I'd end up seriously hurting you without meaning to. I felt awful about it. Then again, Hiei kind of earned that one. I could only feel so guilty.

The demon smiled at me. "Maybe you just don't know what you're capable of. Either way, I'm glad you won't use it on us. And if the horses like you, we have no reason to be worried." I jumped back onto the fence, the horse nuzzling into my shoulder. I was glad someone here liked me. Those guys from the military meeting sure as fuck did not. I could at least be friends with a horse while I was here. Maybe a hellhound if I was lucky. Bring one home as a pet.

Who was I kidding, a hellhound would eat me alive.

I could've hung out with the horses all day, but then Damon saw puppies. I would've never thought Damon would squeal and run towards fucking puppies, but he was a typical American boy. North Americans loved cute small animals, preferably in gif or vine form. It was a guilty pleasure.

Takuma and I followed the idiot to a small litter of dogs. Damon immediately threw himself into the center, letting the little dogs climb all over him. They were adorable, like little husky/pitbull mixes, only twice the size of their normal puppies. They came in every colour of dog, the majority being black or a dark brown. There were a couple grey, dappled and one white mixed in.

"These are safe to pet, right? Their mom won't kill us?" I asked Takuma. He shook his head.

"No, I think these guys were separated about a week ago." He picked one up, a larger brown pup, and handed him to me. "Hopefully their trainer won't see us. No one is supposed to be petting these guys."

I looked down at the puppy in my arms. Giant brown eyes peered up at me, blinking in confusion. That was all it took for me to fall in love. It was official. I wanted a hellhound.

Hiei was gonna kill me.

I knew why these guys probably weren't supposed to be cuddled. You didn't exactly coddle a dog that had a job to do. It was the same kind of thing with service dogs, at least to my understanding. But surely a little bit of cuddling at little yapper stage was ok. Maybe it would make them like their trainers more. Who knew? But I wasn't going to say no to those eyes.

But then I saw one dog off to the side. Nothing special, just a large black dog. A big, almost mastiff sized, version of the tiny pup in my arms. The difference was that he was hugging the side of what I guessed was a feed building or the house for the other hellhounds, watching us warily. I handed the little pup to Takuma, wandering over towards the other dog. The closer I got the more a realized that something was wrong with him.

His fur was matted and dirty, and I could see his ribs through his fur. Damn… I didn't know what to say. I held my hand out to him, urging him to come a little closer. "C'mere bud, it's ok." The dog growled at me a bit, backing away. I stayed where I was, making some eye contact. He looked sick and needed help. Someone had to do something. He stopped growling, walking a little closer. His nose twitched a bit. "Come on, buddy, it's ok." He crept a little bit closer. Close enough that he could sniff my hands a little bit.

"FINLEY!" I jumped at Damon's yelling and the dog did too. A set of teeth sunk into my hand. I swore, and the dog darted off. I sat on the ground, blood streaming from my hand. Damn Damon, I might've been able to feed the poor thing if he hadn't freaked out.

Damon ran up to me, grabbing my hand. "That fucking piece of shit dog. I'm going to kill it.."

"No, you fucking won't," I snapped. "He wouldn't have bitten me if you hadn't scared him. He looks like he hasn't eaten in forever. Someone has to help him."

"No, you don't, Fin. You can't save everything." I glared at him, pushing myself up with my good hand.

"Fuck you, Damon." I turned, walking away from my friends and going back to the castle, one hand still bleeding badly. I sighed, wrapping my other arm around myself. I hated Damon some days. Mostly when he said shit like that. I knew I couldn't save everyone. I wasn't stupid. But there always had to be something I could do, right? It was what I hung onto. I had studied psychology for reason. I thought it was the only way for me to help people. The best way. But I hadn't even finished that and there was no sign of me going back to school to finish it any time soon.

I was friends with people that helped. That had saved humanity more than once. That, to my knowledge, were still keeping us safe and trying to save us again. And what could I do? Not much. I was scared of my own shadows, sometimes. Compared to the others, I was fucking useless and Damon reminding me of it didn't help. Even if I could only help a starving hellhound, that had to be something, right? Anything was something. I could pretend it was something.

I just wanted to make it into my room and bury myself in blankets until I couldn't feel anything. I needed to stop this morbid attitude. First, I was in love with a demon who, for all intents and purposes was about as likely to love me back as I was to sprout wings and fly to Narnia. Second, I had an extremely unhealthy fear of pretty much anything and a stubborn refusal to deal with my problems. Third, I was pretty much useless in the grand scheme of things. If anything I had volatile fear when startled and accidentally attacked people I considered my friends. Go fucking figure.

Even though I knew it was stupid to be this upset about a throw away comment from Damon, it still stung. Most things like that did, though. I was too sensitive for my own good and I knew that full well.

Probably a part of the reason that I could never keep myself alive in the Makai.

* * *

Half-way to my room, I learned why Hiei hadn't wanted me to go around by myself. Walking towards me was Kenzan.

Fuck me.

He glared at me. "You think you're better than us, don't you?"

I frowned, confused. "No. Why would you think that? You could kill me. A child could kill me. Hell, a determined duck could probably kill me. In no way am I better than you."

My back slammed into the wall. "You act like you're smarter than us. Just because you're a witch." I knew more in some subjects, I wasn't going to deny it. But if he was offended by my one comment that I wouldn't have even brought up if Hiei hadn't called me out, there was nothing I could do. I would've brought it up to him later. "Lord Hiei liking you doesn't make you less of an abomination."

"I'm a witch," I muttered. Not a very strong denial of his words. "Not an abomination." To them, maybe. But I didn't want to admit that to myself. I couldn't.

Fingers closed around my throat, lifting me into the air and slamming me again into the wall. "Same. Thing." I gripped his wrist, gasping for some breath. Fuck, he was strong. Yellows eyes glared at me, flickering between red and the bright yellow. It looked like there were more arms, but I couldn't tell.

A flare of my energy and I was on the floor again. I landed hard on my ass. A loud crunch came from across the hall followed by a dull thud. Fuck. No, no, no. Not again. My throat tried to stay open. I could feel the bruising starting. Air couldn't really get through. Was I hyperventilating? Probably. I couldn't catch my breath. I refused to look at the man on the floor across from me. I couldn't tell if I had killed him or not. I didn't even know what I had done. Surely, it was worse than Hiei doing it. Hiei would never actually try to kill me.

I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want to see. I couldn't make myself move. I didn't want anyone else to see what I had done.

Even though inevitably, someone would.

* * *

Damon could always tell when he had fucked up. Finley walking away from him hadn't been his first clue that he had been an asshole. No, that had come the second those words came out of his mouth. Fin was sensitive, and having her ideal career ripped from her, being thrown into a tournament where she had to go against her beliefs had been hard on her. All she had wanted was to help people. Now she was stuck, and to her had no purpose. Damon thought she was better than she gave herself credit for, but there was no changing her mind.

Takuma glared at him. "Don't know what you said, but you should go fucking fix it before she gets hurt." Damon glared at the bat demon.

"No. She needs to be alone for a bit. I hate being a dick to her, but she needed to hear that." His half-assed justification didn't make him feel better. He didn't really mean it anyways. Going after her would mean he had to take back what he said and would probably result in a fight. She wouldn't want to talk to him anyways.

"Well, I have to go after her." Damon shot the bat demon a confused look. "Lord Hiei told me I have to guard her while she's here. A lot of demons are old-fashioned. Someone will try to hurt her if she's alone. Or the rebels could invade and she'll be killed instantly."

Damon's eyes went wide. "I hadn't even thought of that… Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck." Takuma turned away from him, walking towards the castle. "If only you had let her pet the damn runt. Come on, let's go save the witch."

They hadn't even reached the castle before a massive flare of energy burst back from the castle. Blue eyes met red and they bolted inside. Damon would know that energy anywhere. She felt like a forest, she always had. And now she felt like she was a forest that was trying to kill you. Finley was in trouble.

* * *

The massive energy from the castle stopped all fights. Mukuro looked to Hiei, confused. "Hiei, what was that?" He would know that energy anywhere. It had tried to kill him. The underlying panic made it even stronger than he had ever experience from her. She had tried to kill him and it hadn't been like this.

Panic surged through him. "Someone hurt her." Without thinking, he ran. The others would follow, but Finley could be dead if he waited. Whoever had hurt her was dead. He never should have left her alone.

He already knew who the likely offender was. Kenzan had left not long ago to get some work done. It was no secret, at least to Hiei, that Kenzan hated Finley. He didn't know if it was her being a human or a witch, but he supposed it didn't matter. He had hurt her. That fucker was dead.

When he got to her, she was curled into a ball against the wall and Kenzan was across from her on the floor. He knew what had happened. The idiot must've grabbed her throat like he had, but with intent to kill. It explained why the energy was stronger. She had thought she was going to die. Hiei couldn't even tell what sort of damage she had done to him, but he wasn't going to live long enough for it to matter.

He got down to her level, putting himself between her and the body on the other side of the hall. She was shaking and sobbing. If she saw that, she would shut down more than she already had.

"Onna, look at me." She shook her head, burying deeper into herself.

"I didn't mean to," she gasped out. He nodded. She never did. And in this situation, he didn't give a fuck. If Kenzan wasn't already dead, he would be soon. She had no reason to feel guilt. "Is he ok?" Not for long.

"It doesn't matter, onna," he said. The idiot had to be more concerned about others than herself. Of course, she did. She wasn't going to make it in the Makai. Who were they fucking kidding, they should have never brought her.

"Yes, it does, Hiei!" she said through the sobbing. "I can't be the kind of person that hurts people and doesn't feel bad. I didn't mean to."

"Self-"

She cut him off. "No, it doesn't matter. I can't keep doing this. I already hurt you. What if I killed him? Or if I hurt Damon?"

"You won't. He would never hurt you." Something in her demeanor said that wasn't true. Why had she been alone in the first place? What had that idiot cambion done?

"Hiei," She muttered from in her hands. "Is he ok?"

"He's fine." It was a lie. He was at the very least knocked out, hopefully dead. Either way he wasn't going to be breathing for long.

Footsteps ran up to the three, followed by a series of cursing and mutters. Hiei just tried to stay between Finley and the unconscious Kenzen. He'd figure out if he was dead later. It didn't matter now. Damon slid on the floor next to Fin.

"Fuck, Fin, I'm so, so sorry. Say something." Hiei glared at the cambion.

"What the hell did you do?" he hissed. If it wasn't for this moron she would've been safe.

"Nothing." Eyes went to the witch. "I was being to sensitive." Hiei didn't doubt that was true, but even he knew better. Saying certain things to the onna was a bad idea. They were best friends, you'd think that he would know how to deal with her idiosyncrasies. "Will someone tell me if he's ok?"

Damon looked towards Kenzen. "Um… sure. Looks fine."

Her eyes shot open. "You're lying. What did I do?" She tried to look past Hiei. He grabbed her head, keeping her eyes on him. "Hiei, stop, let me look."

She was such a stupid woman. Why couldn't he have picked some demon women to be friends with? They were predictable and would have sex with him if he wanted. Fucking bullshit human witch.

He pulled the wrap off his forehead. The Jagan opened fully and grey eyes went directly to it. A haze went over them, blinking slowly. Her eyes sunk closed and she slumped down, completely asleep. It wouldn't last long, but it would hopefully keep her out and dreamless for a few hours. He looked to Kuwabara, who stared at the scene in shock.

"Oaf, will you take her to my room?" Kuwabara nodded.

"Course." The large man picked up Finley and carried her off to protests from Damon and Takuma.

"You idiots let her get hurt. You don't get to be near her right now." Takuma nodded. A good soldier like him understood he had fucked up. Damon didn't.

The cambion got right into Hiei's face. "I will fucking end you, Hiei. You think you get to make decisions for me? Or for her?"

"When she's incapable of making them for herself, yes." That just pissed him off more.

"SHE IS ALWAYS CAPABLE!"

"You think a sobbing witch is capable of making her own decisions after she was assaulted?" Damon's mouth clamped shut. That's what he thought. Hiei had an ex-military official to execute. There wasn't time to make Damon shut the hell up. They both knew she wasn't stable, that she was broken. If Hiei had to make calls for her, he would. Fuck knows Damon wasn't able to.

Mukuro kicked Kenzan, eliciting a low groan. "What did she even do to him?" He shrugged. Knowing her abilities, she had either shoved him through the wall or lit him on fire. She could do a lot of things and that flare had been huge. Hell, she knew the brain. She could've disrupted the internals of his body without meaning to. She was far too strong for her own good. No one knew exactly what she was capable of least of all herself. Her intelligence made her more dangerous and her powers didn't help that. It was just her mind and empathy that kept her from doing any real damage. He wasn't surprised that witches were so hated when Finley was as strong as she was. It was just lucky that she had a conscience, however overdeveloped, and that she wasn't aware of it herself.

That poor, poor idiot.

* * *

Well, this was interesting. Expect more Hiei and Fin soon, and maybe something with dear old Damon ;)

As always, feel free to leave a review or comment and I hope you have a great day!


	19. Chapter 19: Greek Tragedy

Hey guys!

Midterms are a bitch. If you're in uni or college right now, you know. I've had three in the last week and I have another in a week. At least brains are cool. There's not much to say this time around though, I just hope everyone in school is doing well, and if you aren't it's ok. As long as you're trying you're good.

Another note: this chapter does involve some substance abuse. Just a warning. Nothing illegal, but you know, maybe don't do this shit at home.

Thanks to Ashers537, Toriofthewater2460, and KHandFF&fanforever for following, Otaku Wench, Serinity750, and gotfaith90 for favouriting and animelover56348, Rebel-Keiki, KhandFF7fanforever and SakiHanajima1 for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Hiei had made his point very clear to the troops. Kenzan had been killed in full view of the army in the center of the training fields. It was a good thing no one had liked him anyways. Kenzan lost his head and it was said and done. Now no one was going to hurt his family. If the onna had been injured there was no mercy. The bruises on her throat spoke for themselves.

Kurama had given him a confused look over his anger, but he paid it no mind. Was he not supposed to defend his family? If Kenzan was allowed to get away with that shit other demons might try it, and the onna was an easy target and not protected as the mate of anyone strong. Maybe Ame, Yukina and Keiko were safe, Finley wasn't. And if there was no action against him, then others may think that the other women were acceptable targets and that would result in a far higher body count.

They had decided that they would only spend a couple more days in the Makai before returning home. It had been long enough and they thought that perhaps it was time for them to get back to school and life until they had more information. New patrol systems had been set up, but there still wasn't much they could accomplish with their information. Until the rebels made anther move they had to be patient. It pissed Hiei off to high heaven.

He went up to his room where Finley was still passed out. She couldn't be left alone, so from now on she was staying in his room. It was unlikely he'd let her go anywhere without him. Seeing as her so-called friends couldn't be trusted he would have to take care of her, irritating as it was.

Kuwabara had put her on the bed and tucked her under a 'throw' blanket. He had heard her call them that, at least. She had a massive one on her bed and another on her couch. Tucking her under the actual sheets may have been a better idea. She was shivering again. She would claim that being Canadian made her immune to cold, but she wasn't Hiei. He didn't even know where Canada was in the Ningenkai, but she seemed to think it made it ok to walk around in negative temperatures with no clothes on.

Her things had been brought up by a servant earlier. They seemed to like her. It wasn't like she was an intimidating or cruel person. If anyone did anything for her it was immediately followed with "Sorry, thank you." It was when she used her brain that demons didn't like her. They didn't want her to be intelligent, perhaps more so than they were. Hiei just tuned her out. It was easier than trying to understand what the fuck she was saying. Sometimes the woman went on about something called 'neurotransmitters' and how she was convinced that caffeine released "dopamine" even though she didn't think there was any "scientific evidence." Most of those words were nonsense to him, but it made her happy and the white noise was oddly relaxing so he let her ramble. He ate her food and drank her tea, and in exchange he could protect her and ignore her when she went on and on.

Her pacifism was getting old, however. He could deal with so much. Hiei could understand her lack of control, he had once been at a point when he too had a lack of emotional control. Though he had steered into violence instead. She needed to get better. Now.

Perhaps it wasn't reasonable. It wasn't something he was going to bring up with her. That was for damn sure. If there was going to be change, she'd have to figure it out for herself. He would just glare and huff when she did it. No point in telling an idiot ot change their ways, no matter how close they were.

Hiei sighed, walking to his bathroom. Drowning himself in a hot shower was better than staring at a sleeping witch.

* * *

Fuck, I was warm. So cozy… Whatever I was in, I never wanted to leave. Ever. I was happy all wrapped in soft blankets and the smell of fire. It felt like I was home. Or in that little cabin in the middle of nowhere that I always dreamed I had. Wouldn't have worked with my dream job, but a girl could hope.

My eyes opened. Blinking back into existence, I propped myself up on my elbow. I was in Hiei's room. Of course I was. Naturally, he came to my rescue. Again. Why had I been knocked out though? Hiei had shown me is weird third eye Jagan thing, and I was out like a light. Knocking me out seemed like a thing he should have done before if that was what it did. So why hadn't he? I hadn't even had any nightmares.

A wave of nausea flooded through my body. Fuck. I ran for the bathroom. I dry heaved into the toilet, shaking slightly.

Fuck. That. Jagan.

"That's why I don't use it on you." I heard the fuzzing in the background stop. Hiei had been in the shower. Hiei was in a room with me, naked. This was not the stress I needed. Of fucking course this happened. The day after I realized… I cut myself off. Not the thing to think about around Hiei. Definitely not yet.

"Yeah, never do it again, you fucking bastard."

"Defend yourself and I won't have to."

"Shut up," I muttered. There was no defense to that. I really hated that he was right. That fucker was always right. I yanked the handle, watching the toilet flush. I didn't need to look behind me and see Hiei naked. "Have you put on clothes yet?"

He scoffed. "Onna, you're an adult. Get over it." I was fine with naked in general. Naked Hiei was something I didn't need when my head was in a toilet and I was at junk level. Hurling on a guy's dick was not the way to garner any affection.

"Hiei, I'm at penis level right now. My head is in the toilet til you put pants on." He huffed. After some brief shuffling and rustling of fabric, I pushed myself up, still facing away from him. My arms were still shaking. Head still swimming. "Ok, if you ever use your Jagan on me again, I'm going to kill you. This feeling is not worth it." Maybe it was in the long run to avoid the numbers, but puking into the toilet wasn't a good look for anyone.

"Hn, then learn to control yourself." If only it was that easy. Most of the time I was reacting without a chance to think about it. It was a mix of self-loathing and my magic reacting without my telling it to. My brain told me I was awful and should die. My magic said 'Nah, bitch, stay alive.' It was a constant battle of brain and magic. I couldn't say anything, I just left the bathroom. There was no arguing when I couldn't explain it.

Ignoring the problem until it goes away: Finley Conneigan's patented method of problem solving. Extremely unhealthy, but it was far easier to tell someone else how to fix their problems than it was to fix your own. Even trying to look at my problems objectively didn't work. I didn't know how to explain it to myself. Not even from a psychological perspective. Trying just gave me a headache.

I sat on the bed, tapping along the heavy sheets. "Hiei, was Kenzan ok?" I asked, finally asking the question that I knew the answer to. I just needed confirmation. The fire demon hesitated. It was brief but I caught it. What had happened?

"He's been dealt with." That, to me, meant that Hiei had killed him. I didn't know what I expected. The guilt still sunk deep into my chest. "Don't start. He attacked a member of this family. If we had left him alive, others might have tried to attack the other women or you again. If we aren't strict now it will make us look weak later."

Explained like that, it made sense. It was the right thing to do. I still didn't like it, but that was fine. Liking it wasn't mandatory.

I nodded, refusing to speak again. I'd just feel worse about it. I opted to go through my bag. Didn't know why it had been brought up to Hiei's room, didn't care. Maybe I could bury myself in a book or something. Worked better than trying to make sense of the Makai. I pulled out a heavy jar, looking at it with a frown. I hadn't packed this. How had I not noticed that?

The jar was filled with some herbs, most of which I could identify. There was lavender, chamomile, skullcap, datura, what looked like wormwood. Not a blend I would've put together. I lifted the lid, sniffing. There was a scent I hadn't encountered in a while. My grandparents had smoked this stuff for years. When I was a kid, I just thought that's what cigarettes smelled like. Then I met mom's family and I realized how bad real cigarettes actually smelled.

I had entirely forgotten about it. The smell was comforting, if entirely gone from the house they had lived in. Kind of minty, kind of vanilla-y, heavy in lavender to cover up the wormwood and skullcap. Everything my grandfather had smelled like when he showed how he could blow smoke rings. I didn't know everything that was in there, but I had faith that if it was Grandma's recipe it was probably safe. The only setback was that I hadn't made it and some things that I recognized and smelled were poisonous in the wrong dosage. Meaning if it had been Damon, he could've killed me or himself with that.

Hiei looked at the jar, eyebrows raised.

I held it up, frowning. "My grandfather used to smoke this stuff. I didn't make it though…."

"The cambion packed the bag. Ask him." Fair enough. Better than smoking this without know exactly what was in it.

"I'll do that then." I bolted before Hiei could stop me. Being in that room was suffocating and I doubted he was going to be supportive of recreational herb use.

I sped down the hall to Damon's room, jar in hand. It had been years since I had tried to smoke anything. There was the brief experimentation everyone had in University and high school. Everyone smoked weed at some point, or tried cigarettes. (And in my case, regretted it for days with the cigarettes.) The weird thing was I was totally willing to smoke whatever this was in the jar.

At this point, I was willing to try just about anything.

* * *

Damon was sitting in his room not doing much of anything. He scrolled through something on his phone. His eyes were kind of glazed over, like it was a mindless task. I recognized the stress response. I did it too.

I held up the jar. "Wanna tell me where you got this?" He jumped a bit, staring at me. If he hadn't even heard me come in that meant he was really far gone. Normally he knew I was coming from my energy.

"I found that in one of your grandma's books. I figured something in there would help. Shouldn't have looked, but I couldn't help it." He shrugged, looking at the jar. "I followed the recipe and everything exactly. I have it on my phone if you wanna check it. By the way, how many of those are actually safe to inhale? Cause I couldn't figure it out."

I shrugged. "Most are, in small doses. And you should be fine, I trust you to at least identify things properly. It's not like looking at a book of plants is hard." It was harder than I made it look, that was sure, but the diagrams were detailed in the books I had made, including all the little differences between similar species that could really mean the difference between life and death by plants.

"Not when you have your entire greenhouse labelled like a librarian. It's really way more than extra." He pushed up, grabbing a pack of rolling papers from his nightstand. "Wanna light up?"

"Sure. Balcony?" He nodded, grabbing a lighter. The two of us went out, both sitting cross-legged in the open air. I grabbed a paper from Damon, rolling a neat little joint. Old talent gained from when I thought smoking weed was going to make me look cool or help my problems in Uni. It had never worked out for me. Never had I actually managed to get the high everyone praised. Maybe Grandma's recipe would herald different results. Datura was a hallucinogen, after all. Killed a bunch of rich old ladies way back when, but the effects still held the test of time.

Damon stared at the joint in my hand. "Where did you?"

"I had a delinquent phase like everyone else did." I lit the joint, inhaling deeply. Magic meant no lighter needed. After a couple seconds I puffed out little rings of smoke. "It comes with talent."

"I see." Damon's joint was even nicer than mine. "Cool trick. I've met demons who could blow dragons. It's cool as fuck. I dream of getting on their level."

"Sounds cool." Both of us inhaled again, exhaling shortly after. There were no noticeable effects. I knew some ingredients were mild hallucinogens, others relaxants, some just to cover up the smell of what skullcap actually smelled and tasted like when you burned it. Because it was not pretty in the slightest. I could still taste it just under the heavy peppermint and vanilla. I was scared that it just wouldn't work for me. Inhalents hadn't worked for me in the past.

"Yeah. So what made you decide to try this?"

"I don't know… Maybe I'm just done. With being sad, and scared."

"You think this would help?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. It's just… I'm scared. I'm sad. I hate myself and everything I've done. So what can I do but try?" He nodded, blowing a puff of smoke into the air.

"So, smoking random substances is the answer?" A bitter chuckle came from my friend. "Last time I checked substance abuse in people like you leads to bad things."

"I'm stressed, depressed and self-deprecating. Let me do what I want," I stated.

"Fine, but if you touch alcohol I'm putting you in demon rehab."

An eyebrow cocked. "What's demon rehab?"

"I lock you in a cell and let you detox as painfully and inhumanely as possible. No fun psychologist tricks there."

"My parents died in an accident with a drunk driver, Damon. I don't like getting drunk and it would take a hell of a lot to make me consider it. Even when I do, I don't get drunk and I do what I did to people in Uni."

He frowned at me. "What did you do?"

"I hid keys. No one can reasonably climb up on a counter when they're shitfaced and get into a little locked box while doing it. I've watched people try, it's hilarious."

Damon snorted. "Fuck, you must be fun at parties."

"Dude, I identified my parent's bodies at 19. I'm allowed to be a killjoy on that front." Damon nodded, letting me have my issues. "It's better to be cautious than dead."

"Fair. I like that you're not drinking though." I knew he had been though. Damon's substances were way worse than caffeine and some herbal blend by a dead witch.

"Don't act like I haven't noticed my ritual stuff going missing. I need to offer the scotch to Grandma and the Molson to Gramps. They're gonna think I don't love them."

"I'm sure they're aware that I take it. Plus it's not good scotch, your granny deserves better."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, it was her favourite. Canada or bust, man."

"Weren't they Scottish?"

"Yeah, but Dad lived in Canada and they got into the stuff while over there. Said it made them feel closer to Dad since they always had it when they flew over."

We were silent for a few minutes. I could feel the effects starting to take hold. My entire body relaxed into the walls and floor. I could feel my brain in my skull. Like a migraine but not painful, which I loved. Like I was floating. The clouds in the dark sky sunk over us like heavy blankets.

"This shit is intense…" I looked over at Damon, who had laid completely over to stare at the sky. "Seriously, I've done a ton of shit. Like so much shit. But this has got to be up there on the best I've felt in forever. Like, were your grandparents always high as fuck?"

"Don't know… they didn't usually smoke around me and Grandma never did while she did magic. I guess it was for stress or fun." I sighed, blowing out more smoke. "I'm starting to see the perks though. Is this what it's supposed to feel like?"

Damn just laughed. "You've never been high in your life, have you?" I shook my head. "Then yes. This is much better, if I'm being honest."

I leaned back, looking up. "Cool… Hey Dae?" He grunted. "Do you think it's worth it?"

"What's worth it?"

"Living like this. Trying to be a decent person."

"Not like you are. You're scared of your own shadow. I get the pacifism, you've been taught that your entire life, and normally I'd bring up your grandpa, but you're not him. Different people and you knew him as an entirely different person than he was during his run of the tournament." He sighed, stubbing out the end of his joint. "Look, you're trying. I know that. But you gotta help yourself here. Stay away from violence, sure. But work on that self-loathing. Your magic seems to react when you're in life-or-death situations, but the self-loathing helps you get there and lets it go that far. So that needs to go."

I nodded, watching him roll a new joint. "You know that's not new, right?" He frowned at me, confused. "I've always had the self-loathing. It got worse, but I've always had it. Comes with the territory of having super religious family that you have to deal with all the time, no real friends and depression. The flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia, that's all new. Not the depression, procrastination, the hopelessness and the self-loathing. It's just worse." I knew my symptoms, I always had. Most of the time I didn't realize I was on a bender until it was almost done. I was just lucky that I only had to try to keep track of depressive episodes. It was a hellish mix of functioning kind of like a normal person and not functioning at all.

You can know your symptoms all you want. It doesn't change the fact that it was hard to tell when they started.

"Ah. I get that, kind of. It was mostly after mom died. And when Matt left. Not good times." He lit up again. "It's the kind of thing that makes you feel worthless, isn't it."

I nodded, rolling another for myself. "Yup. Doesn't matter if you know it's just your brain fucking with you. It still feels like dying."

"Fin, you're a shrink, right?" I shrugged. Technically I was missing a degree, but I had the necessary foundation. "Why not use that shit on yourself?"

"Because the risk is higher than the reward."

"What do you mean?"

"It's really easy to give other's advice, Dae. But giving yourself the same advice is way harder. It doesn't apply to the situation, you tell yourself. It doesn't matter that it does, you don't realize it. I know the theory. I can give the theory whenever. It doesn't change anything."

"So… you're Alice?"

"I give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it," I quoted. "Exactly."

"Just say it that way next time, I can't get your brainy tangents." I rolled my eyes. "What? Not all of us have a degree."

"Fair enough." There was a knock on the balcony door. Damon and I looked up only to see Yusuke standing there.

He slid open the door, grinning. "I smelled smoke, figured someone was having a good time. Mind if I join you?" I held out my join to him.

"Welcome to the party, my guy." Yusuke took a hit, blowing out the smoke with a confused smile.

"Tastes good. Not weed. What the fuck is this?"

"Some old Conneigan witch recipe," Damon said. "It's cool as hell. I've done a lot, man, and this shit is the best."

Yusuke flopped down next to me. "Rad. And it's not illegal is it? Keiko can't get mad if it's legal."

"Pretty sure. It's all stuff I grow at home. Damon put it together, though, so some of the proportions could be off." Damon glared at me, offended.

"I can read a cookbook, Finley."

"Yeah, but you can't cook, Damon."

"You're still smoking it."

I glared at Damon. "Look, I've hit the point of no return and desperation. I'll try anything to help at this point." I sighed, rolling in the effects. "I'm just done, man. I need to get my shit together."

Yusuke shrugged. "Yeah, but it's harder than most people think. I know I had an easier time with it, but Kuwabara was a little worse. And Ame didn't handle any of it well. It doesn't help if you weren't around violence all your life and get thrown into it out of nowhere. I'm also half demon so that shit's probably in my blood, too. I don't think a lot of the demons can really get what's going on with you."

"Kurama does, he's married to Ame. He may not have firsthand experience, but he gets it," Damon filled in.

"Yeah, exactly." Yusuke took another hit. "Basically, you're allowed to be scared and worried. All of this shit, it might not ever leave all the way. That's cool. But eventually you gotta get back up and fight against it. If you're not ready for that, it's ok. When you are, we'll help you. We're a family, Fin. It's what we do. And if anyone tries to fuck with you I'll kick the shit outta them for you. Unless Hiei gets there first. That guy loves enacting justice for you." He looked at the joint in his hand. "Ok, whatever this is I want it all for the rest of my life. It's fucking awesome."

"Right?" Damon and I said.

Damon laid flat on his back, blowing out again. "It makes you say shit you normally just think. I'm into it. Just don't make me talk about my past unless you wanna be bummed out."

"Damon, I'm always bummed out, it's all good. You and I need to talk anyways. If you only do it under the influence of some shit, then now's a good time." He looked from me to Yusuke.

"Alright, children, roll me another one and we can get into the comedy of errors and tragedy that is my life." Yusuke handed Damon our newest way to avoid our problems. "Thanks. OK, children. Let us begin with the glorious story of my conception. A young, 16-year-old girl meets handsome older man in the backwoods of North Dakota. Small town girl with big dreams and a guy who promised to take her to the big city. He did actually make it out there. Took her to New York and that's where he left her.

"It didn't take long to figure out that he was an incubus. Mom always said she knew what he was from the start, but I think it took a bit longer. I figure that she didn't know until she found out she was pregnant with me. She had me in some dinky little hospital in Vermont. New York was where he left her and she didn't want to go back. She also knew that I was like him and if she was going to keep that a secret we couldn't stay in the same place for long.

"I started out normal. Normal enough that the first 3 years of my life were spent in backwoods North Dakota again, where Mom wanted me to grow up. It only lasted until the first time a demon showed up. The second move was to Nevada, I can't remember the town. Then we were in Malibu, then Pittsburgh, we made it in Chicago for all of a week. Mom thought that living in a big city was the better option, when I was hidden in all those people. It really just made it worse. There were more people to remember what I was. After that, we tried to keep it fairly little. Not too small that everyone talked, not too big that there would be a million people trying to kill us like a witch hunt. People talked no matter where you went, but medium was better than either extreme.

"We ended up in New York again when I was 10. I hadn't remembered anything about it, but it had always felt like home. She got me into some fancy school on a scholarship and prayed to god that we could last here for a little bit. Didn't tell me that it was a school for delinquents, but at 10 I didn't care. There were pretty people that wanted to hang out with me and I liked that. Kid like me needed friends. I never had them."

He took a deep breath, blowing out more smoke. "Then things got way worse real fast. Same old story. Eleven-year-old falls in love, with dramatic 14-year-old girl, boy tells girl everything he knows about his family and demons, and then they fuck. Underage romance is so enticing at that age, but then parents find out. And strict Catholic demon-toting parents make it worse. Much, much worse.

"When they came to kill me, my mom had sent me to band camp. I was somewhere in the tri-state area, I don't remember where. They came to our apartment, guns blazing with a bunch of demons." Yusuke and I watched him blow out more smoke, hooked on every word. "When I got back, I was met at school by the police. They wouldn't tell me what had happened, or let me identify the body. Apparently I was too young. I overheard what they said though. Demon hearing and all that. They knew who did it and they weren't going to bother prosecuting because the bastards that did it had too much money and power to get something decent. They had seen what they'd done before. They liked to send messages, which in this case, included torturing my mother for hours trying to get her to tell them where I was. She didn't crack. For someone who got knocked up at 16, she was pretty strong-willed. Probably where I get it from."

He stopped, looking up at the sky for a few seconds. I kind of knew what had to come next. It was Matt and how dear old Damon become a mercenary. Kind of terrifying, kind of intriguing. Also really sad for my friend.

"After that, I was taken in by a group of demons. They were one of the major gangs in New York at the time. Most of them looked like regular humans, a few were half, there was one guy who was convinced that he was a demon but really he was scrawny little bastard. Nothing more than a human. I don't even know why they kept him around, maybe he was funny or something." He took a deep breath again. "They kept me safe for 4 years. Taught me how to actually take care of myself, use the cambion powers. Took a while to get a handle on that, but it was enough to take out the fuckers that killed my mom. Their demons were only run of the mill big guys, enough to terrify the humans that they went after.

"That mafia family lasted all of 30 minutes after I started. No one made it out of that building alive. I got everyone that was there, man, woman, child and girl I was in love with. To this day the only thing I regret is running away afterwards. I made sure everything was taken care of. After it happened, I was kicked out of the gang. They didn't want anyone to associate that murder with them, which was fair. They did a lot of illegal shit. Go figure. After I got kicked out of that, one of the guys gave me a number to get to one of his contacts. He was the one who got me my first job as a mercenary. He had a group of younger demon kids that worked for the big shots with a bunch of money."

"And that's where you met Matt?" Yusuke asked.

Damon nodded. "Yup. He came two years after I did. We were… 16, I think. Maybe just 17. Before he showed up, I was the best they had. Then Matt took over. He was a mara. Of course he was the best. I didn't know what that meant until he showed me in a spar once and after that I swore never to piss that fucker off again. No one wants to see their greatest fear repeated over and over and over and it's usually why they never made it. People killed maras because of what they could do. I should have killed him when I found out.

"We became friends before he told me. Too many people had tried to kill him right off the bat, so he figured that if you got to know him first, you wouldn't want to kill him. I didn't. Then again, when you're 16 you fall hard and fast and you cling to the only person who could even come close to understanding you. The two of us both knew what it was like to be hated and bounced around by humans for what we were. Only Matt hated the humans, I hated the demons. We went on our own at… 18, I think. Old enough to be legal, young enough that no one would really suspect us of doing illegal shit all the time. We posed as a group of kids trying to 'find themselves' before going to college. Somewhere along the line we started dating. I don't really remember how it started. I know the first time we slept together we were high on something. It was some dingy hotel in Kansas, though, that I remember. Not the first time with a guy by any means. I remember where it happened and waking up the next morning, that's about it. Seriously though, Fin, Matt is a 10. Like a solid 10. Like hotter than me 10." I rolled my eyes glaring at him. Even high, he was still full of himself.

I blew out a puff of smoke, looking to Yusuke. "That's brilliant, I'll be sure to stake the next attractive demon I see."

"If you do that, you'll end up killing your little crush." Yusuke looked at me, grinning at Damon's words. "Yeah, Yusuke, she's in luuuuuurve. She loves a certain little demon we all know and love. In some cases tolerate."

Yusuke burst out laughing. "No fucking kidding! That's absolutely ridiculous. I didn't think that anyone would be into-"

I kicked Yusuke, eliciting a pissed off 'hey' and a glare. "Do not. I don't need people hearing. I'm just going to ignore it for now anyways. Moving on. Damon, keep regaling us with your lovely story."

"Fine, fine. Be a bitch about it." Damon blew out smoke again, sighing. "Anyways, Matt and I were never exclusive. I wanted us to be, always did. But as a mara and a cambion we weren't exactly good with relationships. Especially not with each other. He got jealous, I got jealous, but neither of us were capable of only being with the other because fuck, were we toxic. We needed to have a break. And fighting made us feel alive. So no matter what we did we ended up making each other miserable. I'll admit that he had a tighter hold on me than I ever did on him, though. I was wrapped around his little finger and if he had told me to stop having sex entirely I would have. I always would have. I would've died, but I'd have done it.

"He left me for some job here a few years back. We were 23. It was a 5 year on and off relationship. He just kind of… disappeared. There was a note taped to the mirror of another motel room, which was entertaining. Took me a solid hour to realize that's where he stuck it. I got home from a job and he was just…. Gone. Left me. Shitty explanation too, just said he got a job over here and wasn't coming back. I hated him for it, I still do. After that it was me targeting a bunch of high-profile demons and their employers. That's what got me on the list for demons over here. I was 25 when I came over, kept targeting the high profiles for one another and taking their money from them. Then I pissed off enough people to land on the Tournament list. That's when I met you." I nodded. Damon sighed. "I mean, I'm glossing over the pitiful drunk moments, and the multiple drug benders on a variety of shit that's too numerous to list. But that, ladies and gentlemen, is the general life story of Damon. Who wants to share next?"

Yusuke shot out a low whistle. "Well, mine isn't really a secret. Fin is probably the biggest question mark here. I don't think I know anything about your past."

I shrugged. "It's not that interesting. Damon's got a better supervillain backstory. Mine is that one villain that became one because someone told them they weren't pretty when they were 5. Nothing interesting."

"Bullshit. You lived life as a Canadian witch. It's illegal to be one there, isn't it?" Damon asked.

"Enh. It's illegal to falsely claim to practice witchcraft. I never falsely claimed shit. It's also illegal to challenge someone to a duel, fun fact," I said.

"That fact was not fun, Fin. I showed you mine, you show me yours." I rolled my eyes at Damon's statement. I figured it was only, fair, but I still hated talking about it. Less of a 'oh my past sucks, I'm so sad' thing. More of a 'my past isn't as bad as others so I shouldn't complain' thing. Was it healthy? No. But it kept me from being miserable about all that baggage from way back when and I had enough going on now that I didn't need to focus on that.

* * *

"Fine." I rolled another joint, lighting it. We had gone through about 3 each. Damon was on more than that, I figured. I wasn't about to do this without one. I had found the newest attempt at a coping method. WE would see if this lasted longer than the music, or the caffeine, or the sleep deprivation. Mostly caused by myself. I lit up, taking the first hit. "I was born in Canada. Dad had moved there after he graduated high school here, cause the grandparents lived here. He went to Uni, where he met mom. Dad had always known about the magic and demons. He made sure that our house was warded and that I was in martial arts from a young age. Mom never understood any of it. IN her world, there was no magic, no demons, none of it was real or even to be entertained. She was a strict realist, she just never realized that it was real, y'know?

"She was a doctor, dad did something with sociology. I never understood his job. Crim, I think. He was away a lot doing stuff in the states, and other provinces and stuff. So when he was home it was a huge treat. Whenever Dad was gone, Mom would take down everything. All the wards, all the charms, there was no tea if I was going to make it seem like they were magic. I wasn't allowed to read anything fantasy. She hated it, more than anything. She didn't understand it and didn't want me thinking it was real."

I took a deep breath, puffing out another breath of the heavy scented smoke. "I, naturally, rebelled. Most of her family was religious, too, so half my cousins have never read Harry Potter because witches are scary. Mom wasn't, thank god. She just steered hard into science and dismissed anything that she couldn't immediately perceive with her eyes. In anything she passively tolerated the religion. She liked it better than the magic, that was for damn sure. Religion served a purpose in her eyes, magic didn't. Just a thing stupid people used to excuse their issues and superstitions with no basis." I took another hit, the words coming easier now. Fuck, being high really did help. "I had a few good teachers that helped me out. They didn't believe in the magic, and I didn't tell them about it. But they helped me get a hold of books and stuff so I could at least experience it. When Dad was gone, Mom was barely home, so I managed to get around her statements. The internet was the first place I found any information about what I did, besides Dad. The grandparents hated coming over to Canada because of my mom's adamant denial of everything they believed in and in their minds Dad shouldn't have told her. To be fair, I started showing signs around 2, so it wasn't like he could've hidden it."

"Mom ignored all of my signs, by the way. Dad said I was levitating stuff before I was in preschool, and making little predictions from day one. Divination isn't one of my strong suits now, but it was pretty good as a kid. Though, I guess intuition was the only thing that kept me from getting hit by cars. I also was weirdly good with animals, which mom hated. Cause she's a doctor and disease and all that. When I made friends with the crows in out backyard and the squirrel across the street, she told me I wasn't allowed to talk to animals anymore. So I snuck out at night to talk to them, or opened my window once she was asleep and talked to them. Once I lit a garbage can on fire at school. A kid pushed me and took my toy so I got really mad and made mistakes. Let me tell you my mom was so angry at that kindergarten teacher. Dad just made sure to help me figure out ways to control it. Mom refused to believe that I had done it."

"So, you were nearly an Obcurus?" Damon asked. I nodded. Harry Potter had nailed that one on the head. If I had only been raised by my mom, things would've been a lot different. She was great, in a lot of ways, she just nearly fucked me up really really hard.

"Yeah. She wasn't all bad, though. I got my love of science from her, I got the curiosity from her. She had none of it if it wasn't a scientific phenomena, but there wasn't much I could do about that. She was a big part of why I went into psych. I wanted to help people and she gave me that love for science. It was not easy to marry that with the magic as I got older. I'm still not sure I've done it. Dad was the magical support, but he was kind of flaky. He wasn't around a lot, but when he was he was laid back, relaxed, funny. All the of the things that were the ideal 'fun parent' which you can't do all the time. As a kid though, I definitely liked my dad more. Total Daddies girl, considering he and I were the odd ones out in the circle of only my mom's family.

"They were all bad, though. Like I'm pretty sure my maternal grandparents wanted to send me to a church camp that would cure the magic and the bisexuality. I'm still hoping they think I'm the anti-christ, it means no calls from them." Damon rolled his eyes at me, Yusuke just laughed. "Moving on. Didn't have too many friends in school, didn't really want any. A small circle is all I really need, any more than that and it just exhausts me. Too much to keep up with. I was always good in school, which made university a little better. During that time I was basically all school, all the time. I skipped out on that whole party stage and went straight to model student.

"When I was 19, there was an accident. Mom and Dad got into a bad car accident with a drunk driver coming back from a Christmas party. I was living in the dorms at the time, just in a one bedroom suite by myself. I couldn't stand being at home anymore. I had been up all night studying. The call came at 3:27. I was the one who identified the bodies. The had died almost instantly. After that I kind of hid from everyone. I just worked on school and tired not to think about anything else. It happened, but I was pretty good at ignoring my problem when I was in public. Things just ended up building and building."

I took a deep breath. "The second I graduated I sold my parents house and anything that I didn't think was important and I came here. I had spent most of my summers and holidays over here so it wasn't a giant leap. I just needed to not be in Canada for a while. And you know the rest from moving til now."

The two boys stared at me. "Ok, I have the sad drug addict, gang-members-killed-my-mom backstory, she has the my-mother-denied-who-I-was and I-identified-my-parents-bodies backstory," Damon said. "It does explain a lot though. If you were constantly told that what you were doing was wrong or not real, it would lead to that shit we were talking about. Did you never date or anything?"

I shrugged. "Once or twice. It never lasted more than a few months, though. I was always focused more on school and they had problems with that."

"Good, dump those fuckers." I looked at Yusuke, confused. "What? I'm dating Keiko, you respect her school or you get your ass kicked. I hate school, but I know it's important to her, so I let her work. It's part of being in a relationship and those idiots you dated obviously missed that." I shrugged. I hadn't been too attached to either in the first place. They both came along after my parents so I hoped the relationships would help me feel better. When they didn't, I ended them, plain and simple. I had to.

The three of us sat there in silence for a little bit, all of inhaling and trying to enjoy the high. After the heavy discussion, we needed a little bit of silence. It figured that the three of us who joined the club were the ones that didn't really deal with out problems the best. I shoved mine aside until tehy eventually snowballed and took me down with them, Damon also ignored them but slept around to fill the void and Yusuke dug in his heels and steered hard into the training and violence as a way to cope. I hadn't thought Yusuke was someone I could relate to, but I was starting to see it. THen again, I didn't expect Damon to be someone I could relate to. I seemed to find friends in the strangest places.

I sighed, puffing out again. The high was relaxing and felt oddly safe. I looked a the little roll of paper and herbs in my hand. This was going to be a new coping mechanism. It could be good or bad, but through the haze I didn't care. I felt better. I was relaxed. Not necessarily happy, but better. And better was all that mattered. It was a step. I had to move towards getting better, whatever that was for me.

It had to get better.

* * *

So this was a very dialogue heavy chapter. I liked writing it, though I got sucked into it for hours at some points while I working. The thing is it needed to happen. Give some more insight into my two favourite dysfunctional morons (read: Fin and Dae.) Also, the thing they smoked is inspired by an Etsy shop a friend of mine has bought from called Natural Magics, to give credit where credit is due. I added some things and some things added should definitely not be smoked (Cause, well, datura will fucking kill you) but I just wanted to let you all know where the inspiration for that particular idea came from, since it's a legit thing.

I hope you guys enjoyed this backstory chapter and the little bit of Fin that we are still unraveling. As always feel free to leave a comment or review and have a great day!


	20. Chapter 20: Do I Wanna Know?

Hi guys!

It's finals season, ladies and gents, so I (and I'm sure some of you) am in crunch time. Every day of my last month has been either studying, writing essays or preparing for projects. It's nice to finally have some down time to write. (Between, y'know, panicking over exams.)

There wasn't a lot of feedback for the last chapter, so I'm not sure how you guys felt about it, but it really needed to happen. I can't see my two idiots ever letting themselves really open up if they're not relaxed and with everything going on there's really no wiggle room on them. Especially with Damon the way he is. I love my idiots, but they're idiots nonetheless. I'm hoping you guys enjoyed seeing a little more into Fin's background for once and hearing more background on Damon. It's fun to write especially when neither of them like to think about their past.

Thanks to starlightstella,disenchanted love, and heyhaley17 for following and Ruler of the elements, Yo's Subordinate, Call Me Crooked, Halogirl3000and RedUniCamel for favouriting. You guys rock and seriously, some of these users would make awesome band names. Just saying.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

That night I ended up crashing in Damon's room in the after effects of the smoke. Better to sleep next to Damon than to try and figure out how to get my stuff out of Hiei's room. Or let Hiei see me pretty high for the first time ever. Not exactly the way you want to make a statement. He'd see it eventually, but hopefully after I'd learned to control my stoned antics. If stoned was the right word for the after effects of smoking skullcap.

I woke up the most relaxed I had been in months. I had still had nightmares, there was no avoiding them. No spell I had done had worked; I couldn't see why this would stop them. All I cared about was that the effects weren't as intense. I woke up feeling like I had actually slept and not wanting to throw up like I had with the Jagan-induced crash. It worked well enough for me to ignore the imperfections.

I looked around the room, stretching my arms over my head. Damon was missing. Go figure. He usually dipped before I woke up in the morning for one of his hook ups. Habits die hard even when there's no one to fuck, apparently.

The jar of herbs caught my eye from it's spot on Damon's nightstand. Damon, Yusuke and I had smoked through almost everything that Damon had made, which in it's own right was impressive. That stuff packed a punch and from the way the two of them talked, they had more experience than I did on the matter. Only the last crumbled leaves still hung in the bottom of the jar in a thin layer. I guess they had smoked more than I did. Though maybe I wasn't the best judge of that.

I pulled on one of Damon's hoodies and decided to try to go back to my room. Get dressed and get food. It was still early, judging from the clock, so breakfast hadn't started yet. I had some time to make myself presentable. And wash off yesterday's makeup. If Damon saw me in this state he'd kick my ass into next year.

I snuck into Hiei's room, slowly closing the door behind me. He didn't appear to be there. Hopefully he had left for early morning training or war plans. My bags had been piled in the corner. I grabbed clean clothes as fast as I could, just praying that Hiei wasn't going to bother me.

"Where the fuck were you?" I jumped, turning around. Hiei stood in front, arms crossed and a heavy glare across his face. He frowned, eyebrows drawing together. "Why are you in the cambion's clothes?" I was normally hyperaware of Hiei, how had I not noticed him?

"Cause I stole it from him," I said. "It's no big deal, I do it all the time. And I was with Damon. Why is my shit still in here?"

"You're staying here. Obviously you can't be trusted to be alone." I glared at him. Babysitting wasn't a job I associated with Hiei and I wanted him to cut it the fuck out. I may have made some mistakes, but I was going to work on it. I was sick of being a push over.

"Whatever…" I walked to the bathroom. "I didn't miss breakfast, did I?"

"Not yet."

"Cool." I shut the door behind me, immediately switching into clean leggings and a shirt. Damon's hoodie, as far as I was concerned, was now mine. It was the perfect length to still be long but not in the way. Plus I could just slap him with the sleeves if he tried to get it back.

Hiei gave me a look when I walked out. "You're still wearing that?"

"Yeah. It's comfy. Why?"

"You look like a child." I looked down. Damon was bigger than I was, but the sweater wasn't that oversized on me. It was pretty nice. Granted it was really long in the body and I had a significant bunch at the sleeves so I could use my hands, but I didn't think 'child' was where I was.

I rolled my eyes. "It's fine. No one here likes me anyways, and those that do aren't going to judge me for being comfy. Maybe Damon will, but that's what the sleeve attack is for." I flailed the sleeves around. "Sleeve attack." Hiei just stared at me, eye twitching. I shrugged, heading for the door. Better to leave the room than deal with the pounding in my chest. I just needed to ignore it until it went away.

Easier said than done.

* * *

When I opened the door to the dining room, all eyes turned to me. A loud screech echoed as Damon's chair jerked back. "Stop taking my fucking sweaters!"

"Stop eating my food." We made eye contact for a few seconds before he sat down in defeat. I sat next to him, greeting everyone. No one mentioned what had happened the day before. The only difference was that Yusuke joined Damon and I's conversations. Apparently when a bunch of misfits smoke substances and swap life stories you become best friends. I wasn't complaining, Yusuke was a solid friend and I just hadn't been able to see it yet with the amount I had talked to him.

Hiei trailed in after I did. He sat at the head of the table next to Mukuro and didn't look at me the entire time. I wasn't sure what I did, but I had a feeling it started with not coming back to the room and ended with Damon's he gave a shit though was beyond me. I had worn Damon's clothes in front of him before, why was this any different?

"Hey, Yukina, what are we doing for your birthday?" I perked up at Ame's words. Birthday? That sounded like a much needed break from what had been going on. Something happy in the middle of something horrible. Like Bill and Fleur's wedding

"Oh, no, I don't want to do anything this year," the sweet ice demon said.

Kuwabara shook his head. "C'mon, baby, you're turning 100, this is a big deal! We gotta do something amazing!" I smiled, looking at Yukina. I was the same as her, it seemed. I never liked doing anything for my birthdays. The most I did was bake cupcakes and watch some good movies, which in reality wasn't that different from any other weekend. I could agree that a 100th birthday was a big deal, though. She deserved at least a nice dinner.

"No, Kazuma, really I don't need anything. Just my friends at home."

"Yukina, come on," Keiko said. "It is a big birthday. If you don't want anything big, we can go out for dinner. We never do that anymore."

Yukina looked almost… defeated. Like she knew this wasn't a fight she was going to win and she was not happy about it. It looked like she and I were going to have a talk after breakfast. As her friend, I wanted to at least help her, even if it meant not celebrating her birthday. Either way I would drop by with some cupcakes because I had to, but still. If it was bothering her this much it at least had to be discussed.

I did notice that Hiei was oddly quiet during this. He and Yukina were twins, they had to have celebrated his birthday at some point. Yukina was smart, surely she knew, and Hiei deserved to have some fun on his birthday too.

 _Onna, stop. She doesn't know when my birthday is and we don't celebrate it_. I frowned at the words in my head.

 _Hiei, we have to do something. I'm at least getting you something. Why is Yukina so against it anyways? Isn't 100 a big deal?_

 _Koorimes have children every 100 years, onna. Odds are she doesn't want to be disturbed when pregnant and they are forgetting that._

 _Oh. Well isn't that a good thing? Babies are a happy thing, aren't they?_

 _We'll see._

That was cryptic. What _happens to you at 100?_

 _Nothing. I'm an imiko, onna, we don't do anything._ That denial sounded rushed to me, but whatever. If Hiei wanted to ignore what was happening, I really wasn't one to tell him otherwise. I was a horrible example. If Yukina wanted to tell me what was up, I could just talk to her.

Who knows, maybe she just needed someone to listen to her.

Damon and Yusuke started to argue. "No, idiot, obviously he would fucking lose. Ichigo had consecutively beaten Kenpachi!"

"Before he got shikai! It doesn't fucking count until after!" I rolled my eyes at Damon's argument. First, they were arguing about Bleach. Second, someone was arguing against Ichigo. He was a fucking mutant and literally the strongest person in the manga.

I stepped in. "Damon, stop arguing for Kenny. Ichigo is like the Harry Potter or Percy Jackson of the series. No one beats him. Kenny wins in physical strength, probably, but when it comes to the whole spiritual pressure thing, he doesn't have a chance in hell."

Damon glared at me. "You just want to argue with me…."

"No, I just want you to see sense. I love Kenpachi as much as you, but Yusuke is right on this one." Yusuke grinned at me.

"Yeah, I have the smart one on my side! You fucking lose, Damon!" the half-demon cheered.

Keiko looked at me with a smile. "Don't encourage him, Fin, he'll try to drag you into every hypothetical argument he has."

I smiled. "I'm all about the hypotheticals. They're always fun to debate. I'll join in as long as he realizes he'll never beat me."

Yusuke frowned. "Come on, Fin, I'm sure I can." He paused for a moment. "Actually, you're too close to Keiko, I won't ever win. Dammit."

* * *

After breakfast the guys went out to train. I trailed behind, grabbing Yukina. "Hey, is everything ok?" She smiled at me, but it didn't hit her eyes.

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"You seemed upset at breakfast. With the whole birthday thing. I just wanted to let you know you can talk to me about it."

She nodded, sighing. "Thank you. I'm just not sure how to go about it."

"We don't have to watch them, you know. They wouldn't care." Her eyes went from the group and back to me.

"… OK." We stopped, turning towards the stairs to the castle. The two of us sat on the steps. I crossed my legs, smiling at her.

"Alright. I'm all ears."

Yukina took a deep breath. "I'm not sure how to begin."

"Take your time. I'm just here to listen." She smiled at me.

"Thank you… Do you know anything about koorimes?" she asked.

I nodded. "Only what the guys have told me. You cry gems and have kids every hundred years, right?" She laughed, nodding.

"Generally, yes. Our children are typically from asexual reproduction. We were always kept away from men, because they would harm us. When we mate with men, our children are born of fire, and they are supposed to be dangerous and volatile. In some cases we have twins, like my brother and I. In many cases, I believe the boys could've been saved. If they weren't killed or abandoned, love and care could've helped. The issue is…. When we have boys, we die. Our bodies can't handle giving birth to the boys. None of the mothers survive.

"We go through a kind of heat every hundred years that encourages us to mate. Whenever one of us went through the heat, we were kept separate from the others, locked up to keep us from sneaking away. I remember hearing the screams. It's supposed to be painful and I know I can't hide it from Kazuma. But it means I'll get pregnant and I'll have a boy, and I'll die." She took a deep breath, eyes watering. "I don't want to celebrate my death."

Her words took a moment to sink in. Fuck. That explained a whole lot. About Yukina and about her brother. No wonder she wasn't excited to celebrate.

"So your mom died before you were born?" I asked. They could've been saved if she had held on long enough, or maybe demon kids were ready a little earlier.

"No, she died immediately after birth. Our bodies can't handle it." That confused me. If she wasn't able to have the kid, if the fire in the boy was the problem, then she wouldn't have been able to carry Hiei to term. If was specifically about the giving birth part, then sure. But in the case of the baby being dangerous to the mom, it didn't add up.

It didn't make any sense.

Yukina frowned at me. "What's wrong?" I shook my head.

"Nothing... it just doesn't make sense to me, but maybe you guys run different from humans."

Red eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well… in most cases, if a mother isn't capable of giving having a kid, it doesn't make it til term if it's something about the baby that's causing the problem. At least as far as I know. Maybe I'm wrong, but it just doesn't line up." I left out the part where most women in that situation would have to give up the baby. Probably not the thing she needed to here there.

Yukina sighed. "I don't know. Perhaps humans work differently, but I'm not sure I want to risk it…"

"That's fair. You should talk to Kuwabara though. He would understand."

"I know… I'm just not sure how to bring it up with him. If I hide during it, he has a child that isn't his. If I don't, he has to raise the child alone."

I grabbed Yukina's hand, frowning. "No. Don't say that. We have all of this cool shit that could help, Yukina. Technology that maybe you guys didn't have access to. Hell, Damon told me Yomi grew his kid in a tank, maybe that's a option."

She laughed, wiping tears away. "I don't know… thank you for listening."

"Always, Yukina. You're my friend, you can always talk to me." I grinned at her. "And we're gonna figure this out."

She nodded. Nothing was said for a few moments. Her brow furrowed. Not a good sign for me. I just had to wait for her to say what was clearly on her mind.

"You'll be honest if I ask you something?" I nodded. "Do you know who my brother is?" That was not what I expected. And because I knew, I could hardly say anything. I had a) been threatened by Hiei, and b) known for too long to reasonably say anything, even if I wasn't loyal to Hiei.

"I can't say." That was the most honest thing I could say given my position. I wasn't going to lie to her, but I also couldn't tell her. Her face fell.

"I figured…. At least it's not a lie. I've asked Kazuma, and I believe he doesn't know, but I feel like everyone else does."

"Just a nagging suspicion?"

"He's not as subtle as he thinks he is." I nodded. Yukina was way smarter than Hiei gave her credit for. "Why would he not tell me?"

"I don't know…" I sighed, tugging at the worn cuffs of Damon's sweater. I couldn't begin to think of reasons that Hiei wouldn't want to tell her, but it could be anything. "It could be anything. Maybe he's just scared?"

Yukina shook her head. "He's not scared of anything. Hiei is strong and I am nothing to fear." There it was. Once she realized I knew, there was no point in not using his name and she knew it. It was just up to me to confirm it and that's what she was waiting for. Fuck, Hiei was going to kill me.

"Ok, the only true thing you said was that he's strong." She looked at me. "Yukina, believe me, you are scarier than you think you are. You're still a powerful demon woman who could kick my ass to high heaven. And Hiei? That man is not as fearless as we think he is. Trust me."

"How do you know?"

"Beucase he would've told you by now if he wasn't scared." She frowned, looking down. "Honestly, Yukina, I think you should tell him. You figured it out because you're not stupid, and it'll be easier on you both in the long run."

She sighed. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

I shrugged. "I can only speak for myself. I figured it out on my own, and Hiei was angry when I asked him about it. Never actually confirmed it. Because at that point I didn't know you too well, and Hiei was obviously not ready to talk about it, I didn't tell anyone."

"You really think I should tell him?"

"Yeah. I mean, you already know. If anything it's just going to make everything more difficult the longer you hold off. I think… you both need each other right now. And since he's an idiot who won't take the first step, you gotta do it."

Yukina laughed, nodding. "He is very stubborn."

"Pigheaded is a better term. He and Damon could have an idiot big brother contest and I'm still not sure who would win," I joked.

"You consider Damon your older brother?" she asked.

"Yeah." I smiled, standing up and stretching. "He's an idiot, but he's my idiot. Neither of us have any siblings so we kind of made our own little family out of our team. Shoku was Dad, Takuma is weird uncle that no one really sees and Damon is the older brother. Stupid, I know, but we made it work."

Yukina shook her head, a sad smile on her face. "No, it's not. Sometimes the family you make yourself is the strongest. My biological family was never truly loving, and ever since I came to the human world, even through the pain, I found something better. The family I had always wanted. Now I just need to get my brother to accept me."

I pulled her into a tight hug. "He will. I think he's more worried about you not accepting him." She just nodded, smiling through teary eyes.

"You're right. I'm going to go tell him now, I think. I have to do it eventually." One last hug and she walked off. I hoped everything would end up going ok for them. It had to be. Hiei desperately needed to accept that he had a sister and deal with the fact that she was in his life, Yukina needed to be able to rely on her brother as much as he needed to rely on her. She deserved it.

She also deserved cupcakes on her birthday, but that was a separate problem.

I sat on the steps again, sighing. There was going to be an earful from Hiei later, but it wasn't like I had told her. Yukina wasn't stupid. I didn't know how it would pan out. All I could do is hope for the best.

I heard a small bark to my right. I jumped, looking at the hellhound that I had seen the day before. He pawed at the ground, looking down. I held out my uninjured hand, smiling at him. The damage that he had done wasn't that bad, but someone had still felt the need to bandage it up.

The little hellhound crept closer to me, little by little. He looked around cautiously with every step he took. It was like he expected to get in shit for coming close to someone. Once he got close enough, I stoked the top of his head, frowning. This poor thing. It was like he had never actually been around someone that wasn't 5 seconds away from beating the shit out of him.

That decided it.

This dog was now my dog.

"There you are, Finley." I looked up, smiling at Mukuro. She was good at hiding her energy, I hadn't even noticed her coming. Either that or I had grown so used to her immense power that I had begun to tune it out. She looked from me to the dog. "You took a liking to the runt?"

I shrugged. "Just cause he's smaller doesn't mean he's a bad dog or anything."

"True. I see you had a conversation with Yukina. Has she decided to tell him yet?" I just laughed. Of course Mukuro knew. That woman seemed to be more perceptive than anyone I had ever met and she had known Yukina for longer than I had.

"I think so. He's in for one hell of a surprise today."

"Indeed." The tall woman looked down at the hellhound next to me. He had slowly been creeping back, almost behind me. "He is not fond of demons. Why don't you take him to the human world with you when you leave?" I looked up at her, kind of shocked.

"Um, are you sure? I don't even know what they eat."

She shook her head. "Just meat. It's not hard to get and he won't eat more than a human dog of his size. It just has to be bloody and it will do." One blue and one mechanical eye went to the dog behind me. "I think it would be best for both of you."

I looked at the dog behind me. He tilted his head to the side, wide eyes watching me. "Yeah, I think you're right." I scratched behind his ear. That earned a happy little bark from the hellhound. It may not have been the best, but it was something. He and I could at least take care of each other.

"I'll get some food for him sent up to my room. I need to show you something." Mukuro wasn't the kind of person you said no to, so I followed her. The hellhound trailed behind me, my new friend. At least I'd have him if I somehow pissed her off.

* * *

Hiei waited for his turn to go into the arena. Kuwabara and Kurama were currently fighting. The amount the two had grown since they met was staggering. It was for all of them. As much as he hated to admit it, the oaf had grown the most. He had gone from a normal human to one that could fight on equal plane to Kurama. Still unable to beat Hiei, but he could admit that Kuwabara had improved.

The cambion stood off to the side, chatting with Yusuke. The absence of the short witch next to him was jarring, but not entirely unwelcome. Not after this morning. Last night he had been confused at the herbs she had been interested in and she had run out before he had registered she was leaving. Then spending the entire night there and coming back in his clothes had set Hiei off. All because of-

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Not now.

The onna had been missing for some time now. Yukina as well. After the issue at breakfast, he figured that they were talking. Yukina could do with a friend. The onna liked to help solve problems. If you chose to talk to anyone, she was a good pick. Not for his more recent issues, but that was besides the point. You didn't discuss problems with the source of the problem.

"Um, Hiei? Can I talk to you?" He turned around, his sister's eyes looking up at him.

"Hn, sure." He followed her away from the group sparring.

They stood apart from each other and didn't make eye contact. Yukina shuffled her feet, hands wringing together. Hiei was confused. Why did she want to talk to him? She… she hadn't figured out she was his sister, had she? Fuck, Yukina rejecting him wasn't what he needed with everything else going on.

"I know, Hiei." He waited for the bomb to drop. "That you're my brother." Hiei didn't say anything. Lying wasn't an option at this point. "Are you going to say anything?"

"How did you find out?"

"I've known for a while. Just a feeling. It's not like our lives aren't similar Hiei."

He nodded. "Well?"

"Well, what?" She smiled at him, tears in my eyes. "I've been waiting for you to say something forever. Finley made me realize that I should just do it myself."

Anger surged through him. "The onna told you this?"

"I asked her, Hiei. She didn't even use your name until I did. I've known for years, I just… didn't want to rush you. But now… I have to. It's better for both of us."

"Really?" he asked. He was shocked. Yukina wanted to know him. For years he had thought that he was unworthy of being her sister. He was a thief, a killer. Violent and ruthless at best.

She grabbed his arms, smiling at him. "You're my brother. I love you. I know you love me. When I have this child, they'll have an uncle who will love them. Someone they can go with things they don't want to talk to Kazuma and I about. I've been waiting to have my family for years, Hiei. I want you to be a part of it."

Hiei stared at her. "You want me in your life?"

"Of course I do, Hiei. Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm a criminal, Yukina. I've killed more people than you've met in your life. I've done things I would never want you to be exposed to." He sighed, taking a step back from her sad, pleading eyes.

She shook her head, pulling him into a tight hug. "You're my brother. Things in your past don't define you as a person. You've been nothing but kind to me. You're honorable and loving, even if you aren't the best at showing it. I am honoured to be your sister."

Hiei wrapped his arm around her, slowly. She wanted him in her life, even knowing that he was who he was. As bad as he was. It was going to be an adjustment, but it was something.

He finally had his sister.

* * *

Mukuro'sroom was just as lavish as the first time. Instead of going to the couches, however, she went to a large curtain up against the wall. I hadn't paid it any mind when I first came to her room, but looking now it was moving slightly, like there was a room behind it. Fuck, something I missed warding. That was bad.

She ripped the curtain aside. My hands flew to my mouth. Anything to contain the scream burning in my throat.

Before us was a demon warped by some hellish plant. What the fuck… The hellhound started growling and backing away. I didn't blame him. Running seemed like a good idea in that moment. The demon was even alive, still in constant pain. My eyes couldn't leave him. Why was Mukuro showing me this?

"This was my father." My stomach turned at her words. This entire scene made more sense thanks to that. With everything he had done death truly may have been too good for him. After and before Mukuro he could've harmed thousands with his lifespan. Here he was in pain and unable to hurt anyone else. "What do you think?"

"I'm not going to say it's right, if that's what you're asking," I said. "He probably deserves worse." Her eyebrows raised at that.

"But you don't like seeing anyone hurting."

"No… It doesn't matter though. This way he's not hurting anyone else and he's got plenty of time to think about his crimes." I looked at the demon, stomach still turning. "I'm not sure I have the stomach for this though. I get they why of it, I'm just not good at looking at this stuff." It didn't help that the demon was naked and enveloped in some plant.

Mukuro nodded, looking over the demon. "He's kept alive by the plant, but in constant suffering. Easily one of the best gifts I've ever received." That caught me off guard.

"Gifts?" Who the fuck thought that this was a good gift idea? You know, 'Merry Christmas, here's your abusive father kept alive by a plant for you to torture.'

"Why do you think I wanted to show you this, Finley?" That stopped me for a moment. I wasn't sure why she had decided to show me this. She was so confusing and her motives weren't exactly crystal clear. Wait… she knew about the feelings I had. And if there was one person who might think that this was an acceptable gift.

"Hiei did this for you…" I said. She nodded. "Why is that what you wanted to show me?"

"To see your reaction." I was sad. The deep aching hollow in my chest that had been there as I fell for Hiei just got worse. I deeper realization that he didn't feel that way about me. "You're sad."

I went to sit on the couch. "I am. But not because of what you think."

"What do I think?" She sat next to me. I crossed my legs, frowning.

"That I'm sad because Hiei is capable of this."

"But that's not right." She didn't confirm or deny that she had been thinking that, but I knew it was the logical leap to take. Even if she hadn't thought it, it may have been there.

"No… Hiei's the only person I know who is capable of something like this as a gesture to another person. Kurama would totally do it, but I don't think it'd be fore the same reasons. I'm sad because…" I sighed, taking a second. "Because you've made me realize that I'm being an idiot. I'm doing what I always fucking do."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You knew how I felt about him before I did, Mukuro. You just didn't realize that it was never going to work." Her eyes bored into me. Every move I made was being scrutinized. "I need to get over this. Seeing this… he's never going to love me the way he clearly loved you. Especially because if this is his way of showing affection it wouldn't work. I'm shooting too high."

"You think he loved me?"

"In some way, at the very least. That says it all," I gestured to the man in the giant pot. "It's a weird expression of it, but it's something he'd do for Yukina too. And I know it's because he loves you guys. Looking at you now I don't think there's anything romantic, but that doesn't mean there wasn't."

Mukuro shook her head. "Finley, I know you may think that-"

"I'm not wrong, Mukuro." A sigh came from her.

"You're not. But how does this mean anything?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. It's just a feeling settling in my gut that a human isn't the right person for him. This isn't the first time I've fallen for someone I was totally wrong for. It's best to just move on now before we both get hurt." The hollow just got worse as I kept talking. So much for ignoring it.

"You think that's best?"

"Isn't that what you were trying to show me?"

"Not at all." I nodded, looking at the hellhound pawing at my feet. "Quite the opposite, actually. The goal was to show his compassion, but I suppose it backfired."

I shook my head. "No, it showed what you meant it to. It just missed the target effects-wise." I stood, legs shaking. The hole in my chest was just getting deeper. "I'm going to grow old and die and when this whole rebellion mess is over I'll live a somewhat normal life. Demons and witches don't mix. This… was just a wake up call." I gave her a weak smile. "I think I'm going to go back to my room now. I gotta think this over."

"This wasn't what I intended, Finley."

"I know… but maybe that's a good thing in the long run." The air in the room was stifling an even as I walked away from the room, dog trailing behind me, I could barely breathe. What about the plant-possessed demon had set me off I didn't know. But the more I thought, the more I felt it.

He and I weren't meant to be anything more than friends.

* * *

"I have a problem." The fox demon looked up from the maps. This wasn't a conversation that Hiei wanted to have but it was necessary. This problem had to be dealt with before it got out of hand. This was implying that it hadn't already gotten out of hand. It had.

"Of course, Hiei. What can I help with?"

Eye contact wasn't an option. "Recently I've been having dreams."

"And I take it the subject of these dreams is the issue?" The fox was grinning. Hiei nodded. Sick bastard. He knew where this was going and was was going to make this conversation painful. "Well either I could guess or you could tell me, Hiei. And we know option 2 takes less time."

He took a deep breath. "It's the onna. I keep dreaming about her."

"In what way, Hiei?"

The door slammed open as Hiei opened his mouth. "Hey, fuckface, I gotta talk to you!" The two demons glared at Damon, the conversation now blown to pieces.

"Damon, we were kind of in the middle of something."

"That's fan-freaking-tastic, Kurama. It can wait. I've had to wait all day to get this idiot alone and right now I don't care that you're here."

Hiei glared at Damon. "What exactly do you want, cambion? Quickly."

"You've been dreaming about fucking Finley." Hiei's eyes widened. How did the cambion know about that? "Hiei, I'm a cambion, I feed off every sex dream you guys have while here. I'm not exactly having sex while I'm here. So yeah, you and the vivid dreams are on my goddamn radar!"

Kurama looked to Hiei. "Was that what you wanted to talk to me about?" Hiei nodded. The cambion was so fucking dead if this got back to the witch. "Well, I suppose that cut time off the conversation."

"Oh, so you were gonna tell Kurama?" Damon sat on the desk, grinning. "This should be good."

"This doesn't involve you," Hiei growled.

"It does now, dipshit, so start explaining."

If looks could kill that stupid cambion would be dead on the ground. "The dreams have been happening for a while and they're just getting worse. I can hardly look at her without seeing them. Which is a problem because she's an idiot and needs constant supervision."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Damn, what a way to a girl's heart, Hiei. Don't tell her that."

"Ok, so these dreams, what do they entail?" Kurama raised his hands at the disbelieving look. "Hey, maybe there's something that could tell us the why of this. Anything different from your regular encounters with women."

"Ooh, tag me in, tag me in!" Damon waved his hand around with a stupid smile. "I got this one! I remember every sex dream I've ever seen and this fucker is vivid and dirty!" Without any further prompting, the cambion went into the details of Hiei's dreams. "OK, so there's not much foreplay, but it's nice to know you'd at least give oral a try with her. She deserves it. There's a good chunk of time spent on that. Then it moves onto a truly shocking amount of boning, even for a demon. Wide variety of positions, moves, the works. The first time though he always does the same thing. He marks her." It was official. Hiei hated Damon.

Kurama's eyes went wide at that. "Hiei, is that true?" He nodded. "Ok, well, do you have romantic feelings for Finley?"

"For a human witch? Please, Kurama, have some sense. She's a friend, nothing more." If the cambion laughed one more time his throat was going to be ripped from his body.

"If that's true, then there's only one real explanation for this," Kurama said. "You turn a hundred in less than two weeks, Hiei. Odds are you're going to go through heat and this is your way of preparing for it." The two other demons in the room stared blankly at the fox. "Finley is the only woman you know that you trust, that can have children and that isn't mated or related to you. So because of all of this she's your best option. You also haven't been around demon women for a while so she's the one who gets fit into these dreams."

Damon nodded. "That actually makes sense. She's also not a demon so if you wanted to avoid mating, it would work perfectly."

"So you idiots are saying I should fuck Finley if I go into heat?"

"Yes." "No." The two men looked at each other, confused.

"I think it's the best option. If she agrees to it, of course." Kurama smiled at Hiei. "It's just important to let her know that you're not looking for an emotional relationship. She may still say no, but it wouldn't hurt to at least ask her."

Damon shook his head. "No. Hell no. You shouldn't even ask her. You're just going to encourage feelings that won't be returned. Especially because it's Finley. She'll say yes just because you're her friend and that little idiot will do anything to help. I agree that she needs to get the virginity over and done with but not in a no-strings fuck with a friend." Hiei glared at the two men.

"But if it's made clear that there's no 'strings', why wouldn't I be able to sleep with her? We're both adults."

Damon gripped the edge of the table. "No, Hiei. She is not going to do this." The cambion didn't seem to realize that tell Hiei 'no' only made him want it more, of only to piss him off.

"And you're in charge of her?" Hiei challenged.

"I'm not letting you hurt her, Hiei!" Damon yelled. "That's why I was so mad about the dreams in the first place! I know you don't love her and I'll be damned if I let her get hurt in this!"

It didn't matter what the cambion said. Hiei's mind was made up and, if he was being honest, had been since the thought of heat came up. Love didn't matter in this and he'd make sure she was clear on that.

He was going to ask the onna. If she said no, he'd find another way. But there was no harm in trying his luck. They were friends after all, it wasn't as if she had feelings for him.

* * *

The good thing about being randomly shoved into another person's room was that everything you had was usually neatly compacted. Everything I had was already in my bags or sitting on a side table from when I was digging through a bag. I couldn't stay in Hiei's room anymore. Not after the epiphany. Better to get out before he came back from whatever the fuck he was doing than deal with the interaction that was sure to come.

I had been rejected without ever confessing. Brilliant. That was exactly what a girl wanted.

"Onna, where are you going?"

I jumped, almost falling face first into my bags. Bastard snuck up on me. Smiling at him, I shrugged. "Back to my room. There's no need to keep intruding into your space."

"What's the real reason?"

"That is." I was really shit at lying, wasn't I? "Oh, did you talk to Yukina?"

He glared at me. "Yes. She did mention that telling me was your idea."

"I didn't tell her you were her brother. She knew that herself. I told her that talking to you was a good idea but that's it," I said. "Did it work?"

He nodded. "Don't involve yourself again." I just shook my head. He acted like I had shoved myself into this. It just cemented my previous thoughts. No point in pursuing this. He didn't even want me involved in this and in my mind, friends were supposed to encourage each other to get over their issues.

"She asked me," I explained. "I told her what I thought. And honestly, I think it was the right move. Especially with what could happen."

"She told you about the child?" I nodded. "You know she might die then?"

"Yup. Did she tell you what I thought?" He shook his head. "It kinda doesn't add up. I mean, biologically. Maybe demons are still different, but it doesn't make sense to me." Especially considering how much that society seemed to like fear. I wouldn't put it past them to poison women who to pregnant with boys."

Hiei stared at me. "Onna, you think they were poisoned?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what I think, Hiei, it's just a possibility." One with no proof to back it up. I'd have to do some more research their, but maybe I'd get somewhere with it. If it could help Yukina, it would be worth it.

"You might be right…." I stared at him in shock. Me? Right? Hiei admitting I was right? Who the fuck died?

"I'll look into it later. Mukuro mentioned a library, there's gotta be something in there. I'll just finish moving my stuff." Back to the task at hand.

"Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hiei, I already told you."

"No. You lied and changed the subject. You shouldn't be alone here." There it was again. It was like he thought I was a child. Compared to most demons, sure, but not in human terms. I ignored the comment about lying. I was bad enough at it, trying to defend it would only make things worse.

"Then I'll go stay with Damon." Red eyes looked me up and down, glaring at me in what almost looked like confusion. Then a gear clicked into place.

"What did Mukuro tell you?"

I shook my head. "She showed me her biological father." He froze. "Hiei-"

"I see. I understand." His body posture shifted. Straightened back, head held up a little higher, eyes refusing to meet mine. His arms folded across his chest. At that point I could tell he would rather be anywhere but here.

"No, you don't." He glared at me, about to open his mouth. "I don't think any less of you for it. I get it and honestly, it's better than someone like him deserves. And that's coming from me. It's just given me things to think about and I can't really do that around someone else."

Hiei glared at me. "Why not?" The snap in his voice almost mad me flinch.

"You hate that I'm not lying to you, don't you?" I asked. Now he couldn't accuse me of lying, because we both knew I was a horrible liar. "Look, Hiei, you know how sometimes other people just make thinking harder?" He didn't say anything, but the slight flinch meant I was right. "It's like that. I just have shit to think through."

"What?" I tilted my head. "What do you have to think about that is worth risking your safety?" This was the most Hiei had ever spoken at once and it was to grill me about something I really didn't want to talk about.

"Hiei, I don't wanna talk about it," I said.

"Then you're not leaving." His voice was low and angry.

"Since when have you ever wanted to talk?" I demanded. "Especially about emotional shit?"

"Emotions aren't worth the risk, baka."

I shook my head, teeth sinking into my lip. "You have no fucking idea, Hiei. I can take care of myself." I just wanted him to stop picking at it.

"What is so important-"

"I love you." My hands flew to my mouth, covering my stupid, stupid mouth. What the fuck did I just do? Hiei stared at me in what could only be described as horror. All I could think of was how I could control the damage. "But look, Hiei, I don't know if it's even real. I'm not in the mental place right now to be able to tell if this is just strong friendship or love, ok? I shouldn't have even said it, you were just pushing and I was stupid and I'm sorry." I was rambling at this point. Hiei wasn't saying anything which was a little scary, but I had to say something.

"That's why you…" I nodded. "Get out. I have no time for your stupidity here." Even the knowledge that he was just scared and angry wasn't enough to keep the hole in my chest from aching. I nodded, grabbing my shit and walking out of the room. Tears pooled in the corner of my eyes. I had fucked up. It was such a stupid, stupid mistake, but the words just fell out. He was getting so frustrated, and he wouldn't let up. There was nothing I could do to stop my stupid fucking mouth from saying what I knew would make him stop.

I shut the door of my room behind me, pressing my back to the door. The tears started to fall from my eyes and I went with them. I hadn't expected anything from Hiei. I really didn't. But being friends, I expected him to be a little better. Certainly not calling me stupid.

He wasn't wrong, though.

I should've known better.

I should've kept my stupid mouth shut.

* * *

Ooh. I'll be honest, this didn't end the way that I had planned writing it, but it kind of took itself where it wanted to go.

Fin has officially put herself out there, Yukina has her own issues, Hiei now has a whole lot to think about, Damon is trying to put himself into things and Mukuro tried to help Fin (misguided though it was.) To those who may think Fin's confession was a little out there, it was. When people keep on harassing you and asking the same thing over and over, though, sometimes the truth just comes out. Which is exactly what happened here.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always feel free to review or comment and I hope you guys have a great day! :)


	21. Chapter 21: No Good Deed

Hey guys!

I'm not dead. On the inside maybe, but not actually. School has started up again and I may have underestimated how much was going into a bunch of senior level courses. It's ok, though. Three psych courses and a research course are well worth it. Well, I say that now, but wait a month and we'll see.

Thanks to rosaangela16, blue-rae-1008, and twinkletin24 for following; Mariana Lestrange, Alaya Karangalan, SubjectiveLife, and trixiegluna for favouriting; and SakiHanajima1, backoff22, Mariana Lestrange, SubjectiveLife and DizyWillow for reviewing. (And erintunney.7 for PMing me a review :) ) You guys are amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, any characters you don't recognize and the plot.

* * *

Damon had no idea what had happened to Finley. She had been missing since breakfast yesterday, and though he could feel her energy from her room, she hadn't left it. Hiei had come out the next day, but had been missing all day before. There wasn't a scent on him that implied that he had been in bed with her, so that was at least a positive.

The idea that they were both gone set Damon on edge, though. He knew how Finley felt about Hiei and he equally knew that she was prone to making bad decisions in the heat of the moment. That's how much of her bad decisions happened.

He wasn't much different, if he was being honest. Damon was only hiding his feelings for a certain grim reaper under the surface. It was hard to keep the shit under control with no one to take it out on. Damon was used to having sex to deal with his emotions. Smoking that shit Finley's grandma had made was easily the best coping method for when feeding wasn't an option.

Fuck, he and Fin were a messed up pair.

Damon took a deep drag of the herbs. They guys were out training, and Hiei had all but disappeared. He had left the second he ate and had been hiding his energy since. Yukina and Kuwabara seemed a little down and Damon couldn't figure out why, Keiko and Yusuke were fine, Ame and Kurama were on edge, clearly. Probably due to Hiei disappearing and Akira being a little over excited. It didn't help that Finley had almost been killed and it proved how intolerant the demons actually were of witches. Though why anyone was surprised was beyond him. She had put into the Tournament because she was a witch. Killing the demon was just a convenient excuse.

That incident just made Damon's project more important. Project Get-Fin's-Shit-Together. Starting it with the smoking of strange things may have seemed odd, but to be fair to himself she wasn't supposed to touch that shit until they got home. The plan just got accelerated. His plan didn't have to make sense, hell it didn't make sense to him, it just had to work. And hopefully, it would.

"You look stressed." Damon smiled at the blue-haired girl who had walked up to him. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Nah, thanks though." He blew out another puff of smoke. "You notice who was missing this morning?"

Botan nodded. "Yeah, Finley. Is she ok? I know Hiei was missing last night and he looked angry this morning. Do you think they had a fight?"

Damon shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. Knowing her she probably just had a misunderstanding and Hiei didn't handle it well. As usual. I know she moved her shit back into her room though, she's been in there all day."

"Poor girl. She has feelings for him, too, I hope he didn't hurt her."

"Yeah… Don't tell her you know, though, she's convinced she's hiding it well," Damon said, dragging his hand through his hair.

The light laugh of the grim reaper filled his ears. "Well that's one delusion I'd like to live in. I wish I could ignore my emotions as well as she does."

"Trust me, you don't. They bundle up and coagulate and just make life a living hell til they eventually explode like a bursting aneurism." Botan gave him a weird look. "I've been reading some of her old Psych textbooks. Once you see a picture of the aftermath of one you never forget it."

"I see," She laughed. "Well, that's a fair opinion. I'm too used to letting them all out. I guess you're the opposite, huh?"

"Kind of had to be doing what I did and who I did. And do." He felt sick to his stomach admitting it, but he really wasn't going to treat her any different than he would anyone else. It wasn't going to get him anywhere. After all, Botan probably wanted kids and that was something that Damon wasn't willing to move on. Definitely not going to happen.

"True. It can't be easy on you though. Finley is a good friend, but this isn't something you've talked to her about, is it?"

"Botan, it's not something I talk about period. You have to get me very high or very drunk to get me anywhere near that subject."

"You told me."

"And do you remember why?" He tried not to frown as her face fell. He was such a dick, but it was the truth. He had so, so many issues. Arguing the opposite was useless. Even Fin hadn't heard his Tragic Backstory until the night before.

She just looked at him, a sad smile on her face. "But you still told me. I was the one you called, for whatever reason. And that means you at least think of me as a friend Damon. We're all your friends."

The cambion had little to say to that. What was he going to do, tell her she was wrong? He had more than friends now; it was an actual family. He just had no idea how to cope with having one. A real, loving family. It was a new experience for him. At least he had something.

"Is substance abuse really the solution here?" The disapproval in her voice hurt him a little, but he was just going to ignore it. Ignore how good she looked in the shirt she wore, ignore how her eyes looked at him in concern. It wasn't

Damon rolled his eyes. "Botan, this is Fin's grandma's recipe. If she used it, so will I. Apparently that old lady was tough as bricks." Not a real excuse, but hey, he needed something. Sex wasn't an option in the Makai. Not if he wanted to remain childless and unmated.

Well, unmated to a demon woman. If Botan asked, he wasn't sure he'd say no.

* * *

I had to do something. Anything.

Sitting under a pile of blankets for the last 12 hours crying was getting old, as much as I wanted to stay there. It was useless. Yes, Hiei had been a dick. No, moping wasn't going to fix anything. I needed to get off my ass and do something.

Pushing off the blankets, I threw my legs over the edge of the bed. The waterspots on my glasses blurred my vision. The hellhound looked up from the slab of meat it had been gnawing on. I also needed a name for him. I could figure something out. He deserved a good name.

I stumbled into the bathroom, legs still wobbly and stiff from inactivity. The person in the mirror didn't look like me. Mascara and eyeliner were smudged in haphazard racoon eyes. The skin was dull and dry. The hoodie was wrinkled, the leggings bunched in weird places. The bags under my eyes had always been there, they were just darker. I couldn't remember looking like that.

The shower roared to life and I quickly stripped. A hot shower was exactly what I needed. I would help short term. Long term, not so much. Focusing on the short term now. Shower, clean clothes, makeup. Then worry about what I was going to distract myself with.

Takuma was sitting on my bed when I finally left the bathroom. "You took forever in there."

"Beauty takes time," I said, shrugging. "What do you want?"

"You've been in here for 24 hours. It's time to come out." Only 12, but fair enough.

"And do what?"

The bat shrugged. "We have a library. You like books."

An idea hit me. "That I do. Sounds good." I wasn't going to be reading for pleasure though. I was going to get to the bottom of the rebellion. I could figure out at least a couple members and that was a good place to start. Maybe even get to the bottom of some of Yukina's issues while I was at it. No harm in looking. I certainly kept enough on me to make it work. I had two notebooks and some fun pens. Because I was a nerd.

Takuma stood up, stretching. "Cool, get your shit and let's go." Following instructions for once, I trailed after Takuma through the halls of the living palace. I still hated this thing. Made me extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey, do you guys have those big whiteboards on wheels here?" I asked.

"Um, probably." That wasn't the answer I was expecting, honestly. Takuma gave me a weird look. "Why?"

"I need one. Or two. Two to be safe."

"Finley, what the fuck are you thinking?"

I shook my head. "Just a thing I wanna try. You can just read, I won't bug you." He just shook his head and kept walking. It was fine. As long as I could do what I needed, I would have a worthy distraction that would last for a good while. Whether or not I went a little crazy while doing it was another story entirely.

The library was incredible. I wasn't sure why I was surprised, Mukuro was intelligent person with a desire to learn. It wasn't quite Beauty and the Beast level, but it was incredible. Massive dark wood desks ran the length of the room. The rows of books extended about 8 feet high, with a second floor that lined the walls. A cast-iron walk-way curved around as the second floor, with a spiral staircase in every corner. It was a work of art.

Takuma nodded at my awestruck smile. "She based it off of a few libraries from the human world. It has books from pretty much everywhere. Anything on almost everything you can think of. Entertain yourself, I'll go get your boards." He looked me over with narrowed eyes. "Still won't tell me why?"

"You'll see."

He just shook his head, sighing. I knew he thought I was weird, but it wasn't going to be a big deal unless he bothered me about it. I just needed a giant fucking distraction.

The second he left I started digging. I would need records of those who had been in trouble since the Makai Tournament, some book on demon biology (probably multiple considering how many there could be) and some sort of map. Anything else I found interesting would have to work. At least a few of the recent criminals had to be in the rebellion. It was just a matter of sussing them out.

Mukuro's library was surprisingly organized. It wasn't exactly a Dewey Decimal style, but then again I wasn't sure there was a designated section for demon reproductive habits or trends of human consumption among species in the human system. It took some working to find everything, but at least most things were kept together. I'll admit that the human cookbooks were more than a little off putting, though.

Once I had gathered the books and files, I made a little chart in one of my notebooks. All of the things that I'd need to take into account. Food supply, amount of known repeat offenses, type of demon and standing of that type. I'd also need general area they were known to be in and the food suppliers in that area. Maybe their stand on the Makai Tournament and if they had participated.

Takuma came back, rolling in two massive whiteboards and some markers. "You are lucky that Mukuro decided humans have cool shit." He looked over at the books I had chosen. "Why the fuck are you looking at records of our criminals?"

"I'm going to try and figure out if any of them could be part of the rebellion."

Takuma gaped at me. "How the fuck do you think you'll manage that?"

I shrugged. "Simple deduction. Match up the big traits of those who tend to rebel with the factors that would make them more likely to. I'm mostly interested in those who were affected by the new rules."

"And you think it'll work?"

"Dunno. But I need a distraction and this is a hard job that is going to do well enough to keep me distracted for at least a bit." It would be enough. Maybe not the best coping method, but I couldn't ignore him until we get home. Might as well make myself useful.

Takuma swore. "Well, let's fucking do this then. I know more about the Makai than you do." I nodded. Thank god. I hadn't expected him to get on board, but it was a nice surprise. The best thing about Takuma right now was that he wasn't going to ask why I needed a distraction. He didn't give a shit. He'd just help, especially since I was working on something that could affect him. "I'll get tea in. Anything you need that you don't have?"

"I wanted a record of merchants in the area. Anyone that would provide food to rebels, legal or otherwise. Any one who deals with human souls would probably be a good place to start."

The bat nodded. "Got it. Get started, I'll handle the books and food. I'll get some for him, too." I nodded absently, flipping through the books. The hellhound nudged at my leg. I scratched between his hears, smiling at him.

"Guess we need a name for you huh?" I asked. I wasn't good at naming pets. Not a virtue of mine. I had always wanted to name my imaginary dog Fluffy, because I had thought it was cute. It didn't seem appropriate for him. "How about…. Bane?" He had been the bane of some of the demon's existences, and if he was as loyal as dogs were in the human world he'd be the bane of our enemies. Plus he was named after a Sith Lord, like my father's dog, so could you really go wrong?

He barked, tail wagging. I wasn't sure he really understood that I had named him, but oh well. Maybe hellhounds were smarter than human world dogs. He hadn't walked into a door yet so it was a point for him above my dad's old dog. To be perfectly fair, though, Vader had been kind of a ditz at the best of times.

I started to prep the whiteboards. Takuma hadn't given me much to work with in terms of colours, but I'd have to deal. Three colours would work. Just needed to develop a system. I had little notes to flag certain people, so that was going to help organize the mess I was about to make.

One whiteboard had a large map on it. I was focused on the borders of the three countries. It was more likely that they'd be hiding in Gendara, considering that Yomi hadn't really done much to deter them, but they needed to be close enough to the others that they could pull raids not in the country they hid in. They probably weren't far from the capital, either. Far enough that they wouldn't get caught, but close enough that if Enki made any new declarations, laws, whatever; they would hear it.

The other whiteboard was going to be for possible leaders. Names in green would have to be likely candidates, red would be high risk. Black would be the basic characteristics I was looking for or interesting facts. Better to cover all the bases while I had the information available to me.

Takuma came back and looked over my board. "You realize that's a language I don't speak."

"It's my first language; I'm working with it. Especially since I know I'll end up forgetting a word in Japanese and it'll just slow me down. If I have to explain, it's fine, it'll help me think."

The bat demon just shook his head. "Alright. Let's get started." He flopped into a chair, feet on the hard wood. That didn't annoy me. Nope. Not at all. Totally fine with feet. On my desk.

"Ok, so we're looking at a mixture of traits to figure this out. I want to put priority over certain types of offenses. Main ones here are treason, trafficking humans or human souls, murders and assassinations and career thieves. Think Kurama but… less elegant. Also, connections to previously existing criminal organizations are helpful. Leaders or followers, but I'm leaning more towards leaders. They would provide a larger group of people to the rebellion. I'm not expecting them to be leaders of it, but you never know. The persuasive nature could get something this big together. Those who participated in the Makai tournament are also important. I want people that got knocked out either later on or against one of the main forces in the Makai. Think Enki, Yomi, Mukuro, Yusuke, Jin and co, the works."

"Are you interested in type of demon?"

"Yeah. I was thinking of focusing on more marginalized groups. Think mara, or half-breeds. Also those who feed on humans. Since their supply has been cut off they'd have a lot at stake."

Takuma nodded. "Fair enough. Add succubi, too. They're mostly prostitutes since they can't go feed off humans any more. If Damon doesn't want to have sex for money, I doubt they would."

I nodded. "Good idea."

"Is this going to get you anything?" I frowned, looking at him. "I mean results. Not helping you with whatever shit has driven you to this insanity."

"Oh. Hopefully? Not with the latter, probably, but that's fine. It will have to at least give us a narrowed idea of who we can follow. Though maybe don't send singles to do anything, groups would be better."

Takuma just shook his head, grabbing a notebook and a stack of files. "Ok. I'll read, you do your weird shit."

I took a stack of books, focusing on the types of demons. Fast referencing was going to be important.

"Ok, first guy is Akirogurinja, a dodomeki." He looked over the stack quickly. "Did you fucking alphabetized these… you loser. Anyways, he's a dodomeki. Huge hundred eyed things. Not terribly smart , but very strong." I flipped to the page about dodomeki, scribbling the name and other shit down into the notebook next to me.

"These guys don't eat humans, they're just cannibalistic," I noted, scribbling it down. "Might make them a little more difficult to work with."

"Humans can be a delicacy, though, and it should say something about how much they like to rip things apart for shits and giggles." Takuma shook his head, looking over the file. "I actually knew a few in my worse days. Most humans destroyed in an hour was a popular game with them." I made a note of that. Fuck, this wasn't looking good. "This guy, Akirogurinja, was arrested multiple times for extreme dissent and murder. So basically treason. One account says that he attempted to attack King Enki just after the Makai tournament."

I flipped through a record of the tournament participants. "Does it say if he participated?"

"Nope, not in here. Your end?"

I went down the list of everyone who had participated in the prelims. "Nope. Unless he was under a different name. Probably just didn't like the idea of regulation. Were there any laws passed directly pertaining to the dodomeki?"

"Not that I know of. Besides the 'don't fuck with humans' thing, most laws were mostly around immigration to the human world and trade laws. Enki wanted to establish a detailed economy and some base laws to make things easier in the future. He figured that a good base would make the later ruler's job easier if he didn't win the next tournament. That's what he told Mukuro, at least."

I nodded. That made a decent amount of sense. Rome wasn't built in a day, and in a society like the Makai you really needed a gradual approach to institutionalization. Lots of people wouldn't take kindly to the change, like the rebellion proved.

"Any connections to criminal organizations?"

"None listed."

"Last known area?"

"Southern border of Gendara, bordering on Tourin."

"Mark him as likely." I flagged his page, frowning. "That dissent charge is more than enough and them being big strongbodies makes him a good force for intimidation." He nodded, grabbing the same flag that I used and sticking it on the file.

Tossing that to the side, face down, he grabbed the next file. "Anzu Bessho. Ameonna. Rain bringer. Looks like her crime was illegal immigration to the human world. No crimes against humans while there." I flipped the page about ameonna. Looks like a cool ability. Might be wise for Yusuke to hire a few to work for Tourin. It was a pretty dry place. "Went there to be with her wife, who's a half demon. Explains why the half-demon got clearance and Anzu didn't right away. She's there now, though, Enki just fined her and helped her through the paperwork."

"Good job, Enki. Enforce the law and make sure that those who want to follow the law can. Does the punishment there vary depending on the crimes committed while in the human world?"

"Yeah. People who go in before their papers are passed just get fined," he said, tossing the file into a separate pile. "If you fuck with humans while you're there it's jail time. I think she's a safe out."

"Agreed. Human world and it's the only offense on record. Next please."

"Daiki, a furi. Monkey thing. Nothing too interesting there. Career thief and very good at it. Stole a few important artifacts. Nothing like Kurama though."

"Not many are. Define artifacts?"

"Um… a set of scythes that's supposed to trap the souls of those struck with them, a small set of untested poisons, and a tome of some sort of magic, among others." The last one struck me. That was important. I had heard of the magic of the Makai; it was pretty different from the stuff I did. Unless, of course, it was something that demons had taken off us when they were executing witch hunts. In which case, a demon getting a hold of it was a problem. The right abilities and magical talent could make some of those very dangerous in the wrong hands.

"Flag him."

"Why? It's just some sketchy artifacts?" Takuma asked. "Other's are worse."

"He's in the right area?" I asked. Takuma nodded. "Any connections to criminal organizations?"

"A few, but none more than a short time. Kind of skipped around." I didn't like the sound of that.

"Flag him." I scribbled it down in my book. "Anyone stealing shit like that is desirable, and that bouncing from group to group thing sounds like recruitment to me. Better safe than sorry."

Takuma nodded. "That tome sound interesting to you?" he asked. I nodded. "Doesn't give a title but it could be something from your kind."

"Exactly."

"Dangerous in the wrong hands?" Read my mind.

"Very." I sighed, scribbling off again. "Next?"

Takuma just sighed. "Goro. Nothing too interesting again. Basic rokurokubi. These guys were hit hard with the new laws, their main food source is humans. Not exactly popular among demons now because of how reckless they are."

"So, another Kuro?" I asked, sarcasm heavy in my voice. "Fabulous. Offenses?"

"Human trafficking and torture. Accused but escaped imprisonment. Openly hates the new world the Makai's become. I say flag him for the pure fact that he's a rokurokubi." I shook my head.

I stuck a flag next to Guro's page. "I agree that we flag, but that's not why. Human trafficking is a source of food for a good chunk of demons and if he had connections it's worth expecting he might know something about the rebellion even if he's not in it."

Takuma nodded. "Are you also looking at magic users?"

"Not really, why?"

"Well, the rebellion was in charge of the Dark Tournament we were all in. It's a problem. Magic users probably won't like you at all, which is why you'd be a good target. They seem to think witches stole their powers."

I shook my head. "We don't do shit like that. I don't even think there's a spell to transfer powers. Maybe to transfer energy, but even then that's a consensual spell from what I know. More of a 'save a life' kind of thing."

"So you transfer to others?" I nodded. "Wow. You idiots are too benevolent for your own good."

I shrugged. "It's you guys that made us out to be the bad guys."

"Human made us out to be the same."

"I know. It goes both ways. Human just couldn't stand up to demons so they picked the few that could to fight. Though when the few demons humans actually encountered were the ones who were going around eating them, I can't really blame them for the hatred."

"You know that most aren't like that."

"Of course I do. But with everything, it doesn't matter what's right. It matters who's loudest. If you're the loudest, then people automatically assume that most people agree with you." Takuma shrugged, not arguing.

"Didn't realize you were political." I rolled my eyes.

"It's nothing like you think. It's behaviour. Easier to study," I explained. "Anyways, back to this."

We went through the tonnes of files. The stack of flagged files was thankfully much smaller than the unflagged, but I wasn't done. In the some 250 files, there were leaders and important figures to determine. Takuma had thought that I alphabetized them, but really there were way too fucking many for me to care that much. I had a few names thrown up on the whiteboard and was currently going over files for them. One particularly interesting one was a tengu. A karasu-tengu to be exact. Basically crow demons that had an extreme affinity to magic. This individual, Kumorumaru, had apparently participated in witch hunts 80-odd years ago.

"You really think that guy is involved in this?" Takuma asked. "He's just a small fry magician."

"Who hates witches." I shook my head. "I don't know. I just don't trust anyone who hates witches in this. Remember that we were all forced into the tournament for very little reason."

The bat demon nodded. "True. You only did what you had to to survive; demons really can't judge for that. You hadn't killed any demons before that, had you?"

"Nope. Had barely encountered any. Most were kept away by wards. I used them back home to make me seem normal, but I hadn't thought to here. I knew Grandma's wards were still up so I didn't think it was a big deal." I shook my head, writing the name on my board. "I made stupid mistakes."

"They brought you here, though."

I smiled sadly at my friend. "This is true." But was it worth the heart ache? The nightmares? The constant paranoia that I had to actively ignore? I wasn't sure anymore. I knew now I wouldn't trade it for anything, but if I could go back? I wasn't sure I'd make the same mistakes. I loved them all, but I couldn't help but think about what my life could've been if I hadn't gotten messed up in the demon world.

"Would you change it if you could?"

"I don't know." There was no point lying. I wasn't sure that I'd do it all over again, but I wasn't sure I'd change things either. I had met my only friends and my new family through this mess. Yes, I had been rejected by someone I loved, but I had met him. That was still good.

Takuma just shook his head. "Doesn't matter, what's happened has happened and there's no changing that." I nodded. He had a point. No point in thinking about what couldn't be changed, after all. Just had to power through and deal with it.

* * *

Hiei had been avoiding everyone. Better than dealing with the aftermath of the previous night that he knew Damon would attempt to chew him out for. He had no doubt that she wouldn't have gone to him about it, but the cambion was more than capable of getting it out of her. She wasn't the best at saying no.

If getting annoyed about it was inevitable, he'd wait until long after the incident.

It was her fault, anyways. Who the fuck tells someone that that way? He had been picking at her, but still. She wasn't sure of her idiotic feelings and he was already consumed with other issues. They did concern her but not in that way. And that was not they way he wanted to be concerned with her.

As far as Hiei was concerned, they were friends. A friend he wanted to sleep with but still. Only friends. He had comfort from being around her, but he attributed that to her overall demeanor. After all, a person like that was the least threatening thing Hiei had ever been around. She thought the best of him at all times. It was a new feeling. That didn't mean he wanted this. He wanted to fuck her and that was about the limit of what he was willing to do.

She was just a witch and his friend. They didn't need this extra complication. Hiei hadn't the time or patience for her bullshit. Not if this was the result.

Another tree burst into flames. His anger was getting worse.

"Now what did the tree ever do to you?" He turned on the oaf, not sure why the fuck he'd come. Of all people to send, they sent Kuwabara.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Well, the intent was to talk about Yukina, because she told me about you being her brother. Still not ok with the fact that I was the last to know, but at least she knew before I did." Kuwabara looked at the burnt trees, sighing. "But I think we might need to talk about why you're torching things." Hiei didn't say anything, just glared. First his sister, then the onna, and now this? What the fuck had he done to deserve this?

Kuwabara just shook his head. "Whatever. Look, I figured that if you had a problem with my relationship with Yukina, you would've said something before we were mated, but I wanted to make sure that you were ok with it now."

"Hn. I would've killed you earlier." While he didn't love it, he at least knew that Kuwabara's unwavering loyalty and respect for Yukina was stronger than anything. At least she'd gotten everything she wanted.

"I'll take that as a glowing recommendation," the oaf said, laughing. "So, why are you out here? You don't normally train alone in the Makai."

"I don't have to explain."

"When Fin's been missing for the past day, then yeah, you do. Especially when you were the last one to see her. You've been in a good mood the entire time and now you're torching trees."

"Why does it have something to do with the onna?"

"Because I know you and I know her. What happened?"

"Fuck off."

"Hiei, maybe I can help? Ever think of that?" Hiei paused. He would have a better insight to the onna than he would ever have. "Just tell me what happened."

"She loves me."

Kuwabara stared at him for a few moments. "And this has driven you to burn trees, ok." The ginger smiled at him. "Hiei, it's always a good thing to know that someone loves you. Fin wouldn't expect anything of you either. Hell, she knows you better than anyone here does. Why did she say it?"

"SHe was taking her things and I wanted to know why."

"You kept picking at it when she clearly didn't want to talk about it, didn't you?" Hiei didn't say anything. He knew what he had done, but for some reason the words she spoke afterward were the ones that rang through his head. "That explains that then. She probably even apologized to you after she did."

"She said she wasn't sure if she was in love with me or the fact that I help the nightmares and stress."

That stopped the oaf in his tracks. "Fuck… that really is bad timing. Poor girl. She's got so much going on already to have feelings like this tacked on top. I can't imagine you handled hearing that well either." Again, the fire demon refused to answer. "Course not. Look, I doubt she meant it in a mean way, Hiei. I bet you anything she was trying to avoid you so she could sort out her shit."

"What does it matter?" Hiei snapped. "I don't have time for such idiotic feelings from a woman that means nothing to me."

"Hiei, if she meant nothing to you, you wouldn't be so affected by this." The oaf was wrong. He didn't care. He just didn't need a senseless complication. He needed to fuck her. That was it. Nothing more.

"GUYS!" The two turned towards the yelling, confused. Yusuke appeared from the trees, a crazed grin on his face. "We found Fin and you have to see what she's been doing."

The group of them went back to the castle, following Yusuke to the library. Hiei had never really been in there. He supposed that after spending so much time with Finley her habits should've rubbed off on him, but he still found little interest in books. Even the ones she left in his room at her home for his entertainment. He only read them because she asked questions and always seemed to know when he was lying.

Everyone was in the library, gathered around the one of the large tables. Two large whiteboards were put up in towards the end, one covered in a large map of the Makai and the other with pictures of well-known Makai criminals. Words in a language he didn't understand were scribbled next to them and flags dotted different parts of the map. Books and papers covered the length of the large table that Finely had apparently been working off of.

Takuma was sitting across from a sleeping Finley, feet on the table and a cup of tea in his hand. The runt hellhound that she had adopted was at her feet, chewing on a large bone.

Heavy circles were under Finley's eyes. Her hair was tied into a small bun, held together with a pencil. Stands had fallen out of the haphazard mess to frame her face and fall down her neck Her glasses were displaced by her head resting on her arm. If it weren't for the frown and the mess of papers around her, she would've looked peaceful.

What the fuck had she been trying to do?

Mukuro answered his unspoken question. "She's been trying to figure out who might be part of the Rebellion." Hiei looked at the board. Without understanding the words he doubted he would be able to understand her thought process. It looked like a jumble of pictures and words with no rhyme or reason.

"Yeah, apparently that degree of hers made her damn good at research." Eyes went to the bat demon. "As far as I can tell, she's been taking the most influential members of our predetermined pool, as she called it, and taking key traits to determine who might be a rebel leader. We have a decent stack of people that are just likely to be in it. She was more interested in leaders."

Keiko looked at the work in awe. "Wow. Remind me to get her help on every paper I write, ever."

"Same…" Kuwabara agreed, looking over her work. "Seriously, it looks like she even had a methodology built up. This is straight up research and it's done well."

Damon had gone up close to the board, appearing to read the words. "And she said she wasn't interested in the research aspect of her field. Anyone wanna call bullshit?" He looked over the words. "She's got good ideas, though. I think tailing some of these guys would be a good idea."

"Nope." Takuma stood, joining Damon at the board. "Only the lower levels were to be tracked. She speculated that anyone higher up would have some serious guards on them. Better to just get the lackeys before we tackle the big guns."

"Exactly," Kurama said. "We can at least track the names of these individuals, however. If we hear them moving their words, it's easier to see what they're really looking for."

"They've already got Matt," Damon said. Hiei noticed the picture of the mara on the board, words scribbled in red next to him. "I wonder if she used him as a standard."

"Gave her the idea to look into marginalized demon species," Takuma said. The bat demon sat on the edge of the table, crossing his arms. "Believe it or not, she said she needed a distraction and this was it." A wave of guilt crashed over Hiei. She had exhausted herself like this because of him? He searched her mind cautiously, finding nothing but a lack of energy and dreams of him telling her to get out.

Ame's eyes found Hiei's. "I wonder what she needed a distraction from."

That was enough to drive Hiei out of the room. He didn't need their fucking judgement. She had been the one to fuck up and if she wanted to drive herself to breaking down then there was nothing that he could do to stop her. He wasn't he fucking keeper and he didn't owe her anything.

 _You're friends._ He shook off the voice in his head. That was stupid. Being friends didn't mean her owed her love. _She never asked for it_. She did by telling him. That was that. He wouldn't be able to ask for her assistance during his heat. Not after this.

The images from his dreams came flooding into his mind. Finley, red faced, screaming his name. Finley, on all fours, begging for him. Finley, on her knees, still begging.

Hiei leaned against the wall, slamming his head back into it. He'd have to make up with her. If for his own sanity. She wasn't going to be able to escape him when the heat hit, so he had to put in an effort or he'd have to have Kurama lock him up.

He was going to have to deal with the aftermath of her confessions eventually.

* * *

Well, that was an interesting chapter. I thought this would be a good point to put some of Fin's research skills to good use. Anyone in Uni knows you gotta be able to get a lot of information together fast and sift through for important stuff. I know it's a little dry but she and Takuma needed some bonding time.

Damon got a little spotlight at the beginning there. Writing him makes me feel a little bad because of how much I beat him up, but he mostly does that to himself.

As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to comment and review, and have a great day!


	22. Chapter 22: Sweet Dreams

Hi guys!

I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a while. Life had to take over and I had to step back from writing for a bit to make sure that I could handle it. You guys have been so supportive and I really appreciate it. On the bright side, I'm a little ahead of where I want to be in the story, so we're going to be getting to some... interesting stuff pretty soon.

Thanks to wonderlanddream for following; SpicyMiller, soubi12, ayynonnie, bue-rae-1008, sinsorydeprivation, kaidorian17, and MoonlightWolf16 for favouriting; and Mariana Lestrange, SakiHanajima1, Erin, Darkangel Guard and skullchildforever for reviewing. You guys are amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I own Finley, Damon, the plot and any characters you don't recognize.

* * *

It was only 2 days before our stint in the Makai was over. I hardly interacted with Hiei the entire time. He avoided me at every turn and in all honesty, I was perfectly alright with it. I wasn't prepared to deal with him after what had happened.

Damon still didn't know, though I was sure he had guessed. I knew him well enough to know that the new, overprotective, almost motherly attitude towards me was absolutely from what happened with Hiei and I. I didn't have to tell Damon anything for him to understand. And thankfully he didn't ask me about it.

If he thought I was missing the newfound connection between him and Botan, he was mistaken. I knew he was into her. And now I knew she was into him as well. It just depended on whether or not she wanted kids. That was Damon's one and only deal breaker. You could be anything and as long as he found you mildly attractive and you didn't want kids or commitment, you were golden. He mostly stuck to the fucking and ditching method of relationships. Worked better for him when he could never guarantee if their intentions would change.

My best friend didn't exactly have the best luck with relationships. Then again, neither did I. My track record wasn't any better than his was. Granted I hadn't dated a mara hell bent on destroying the Makai, but not many had.

It was just nice to be back in my own home for once. Home was everything that I needed. I was back to drinking a shitton of tea and ignoring my problems, and Koenma had been kind enough to ship me some copies of records and books from the Reikai so I could keep working on my research. Someone was already being tailed my some of Yusuke's men, and another by Mukuro's. I wasn't sure if it was going to lead to anything, but it wasn't bad if it did. Mentality of demons was probably different from humans in more ways than I had considered. All I could do at this point was hope.

Bane had taken to the house well. His bed was in my room, though he mostly just climbed into bed next to me. He had somehow figured out how to open doors if he needed to go out and took care of it himself. Everything in the house was subjected to a long series of sniffing to make sure it wasn't dangerous. As long as I kept him out of the greenhouse he'd be fine. I wasn't sure what some of those things would do to a hellhound with no resistance built up. Not everyone was fed poison by their grandmother at a young age and I really wanted him to stay around.

I sat on my window seat, watching the snow fall in large clumped flakes. Grey clouds blanketed the sky and weighed down the entire scene. Bane ran around outside, chasing squirrels and barking at birds. I held the mug of tea to my chest. The warmth helped the cold feeling from the weather a little. The feeling hadn't quite sunk into my bones yet. It couldn't begin to touch the hole in my chest.

It wasn't even like it was particularly cold outside. It was nothing to me. The family all thought that -17 was a big deal, but I was still comfortable in hoodies.

The cold came from somewhere inside me, twisting around my organs and settling deep inside me. I knew why. Part of it was from the harsh rejection I had gotten from Hiei and the fact that I hadn't seen him. I knew he was avoiding me as I had done to him. It wasn't something that I blamed him for. It wasn't as if I had any room to talk. While he had overreacted, I had shut myself off. I was already hurt and sad, all my nightmares had gotten worse. Shutting down for a while and digging myself into a world of research was the only way I knew how.

Something else tugged at my mind, though. It was coming on a year since I had found out about my forced participation in the Tournament. The rebellion had been relatively quiet and I didn't like that. It made me feel like something was coming. Something big. Maybe it was just my nerves getting worse. It was going to be close to Shoku's death. I was probably just imagining things because of stress. It wasn't unheard of with me.

I shook my head. I had other things to worry about. Yukina and Hiei's birthday was coming up, as was the anniversary of my parent's death. I had to do something for each.

It was 4 years since my parent's death. December 27th. If people wondered why I hated this time of year, that was why. You never forget that. I knew eventually it would hurt less, but it was still a long way off. I just needed to make it through this time again. I could do that. I had done it before. It wouldn't be long before I was hit with it.

The birthday was first, though. I could deal with that first. Better, really, to deal with something happy before freaking out. Anyways, I needed to make something for Yukina to help with the baby. I still hadn't found out anything about the "poisoning mothers" thing, but implementing some spells couldn't hurt.

It would at least put some ease into my mind.

I was pretty limited in terms of what I could do to find out more information about the koorimes. Without knowing someone and having something of theirs I couldn't track or watch them. Magic, like everything, has it limits. You couldn't make people do things they didn't want to do, you couldn't make someone fall in love, you couldn't bring someone back from the dead. The media iterations of witches had at least gotten that right. Making things out of nothing was possible, it just required a lot of energy. I had learned that the hard way in high school. The more drastic the spell, the more energy it took.

The curse I had made for the finals of the Tournament were a good example. Creating the giant light guys and trapping someone as strong as Hiei required a lot of energy and even then it hadn't worked perfectly. I wasn't even sure if I had enough in me to make it happen even if he hadn't summoned the Dragon of the Darkness Flame.

The unfortunate thing was that it was pretty easy to get around my magic if you knew what you were doing. The demons who had participated in the witch hunts would have figured that out. We could use our energy to push towards certain outcomes, we could heal and make fire and move things with our minds. There was a lot we could do. Getting around the outcome manipulating magic was easy if you knew it was happening. We could hardly manipulate events if you knew we were doing it and wanted to change it. Simple butterfly effect. Though if we were lucky, it could entirely backfire and cause the outcome we wanted.

Magic wasn't as precise I liked to pretend it was. Like anything, we were just working with a force of nature to achieve our goals, screwing with probabilities as much as we fucking could.

Damon hadn't been home since we returned. Probably recharging his batteries after being in the Makai without sex for so long. He needed it. I was cool with it as long as he did it outside the house. I didn't need a bunch of normal humans seeing all my poisonous plants and spooking Bane. Or touching the bones. The skull of Grandma's cat wasn't a thing to play with. It was supposed to be a tribute to that weird cat.

She never liked me, which I was ok with. After the first scratch, I stayed the fuck away.

I wasn't used to not having him in the house, though. He had been stuck to me like glue before the Makai trip and now he had ghosted. I hoped it was just because of his crush and not my depressing attitude. I tried to change, but I just wasn't doing it enough.

I got up, heading to my kitchen. I was in desperate need of more tea. I may not have been cold, but I needed it more than anything. Whenever something felt off or I was upset, I drank tea. When I was happy, I drank tea. When I wanted to feel warm on the inside too, I drank tea. Chug a mug of tea and hope for the best.

There was nothing that tea couldn't fix. I had told myself that for years, and it was the one thing my mother and grandmother had in common.

That whole idea was shattered when I saw who was standing in my kitchen.

* * *

I hadn't seen him since we left the Makai. He had stayed behind, telling Kurama he had some business to attend to. I didn't ask, not that he had told me. Kurama been the one to tell us all only minutes before we left. Damon had tried to convince me that I shouldn't care. I did anyways. I think heartbreak required more than a week to get over. Average estimates from the internet ranged from a few weeks to a few months, depending on severity.

I think Hiei's rejection counted as severe, especially since it was from a dear friend of mine. Not the I could expect Damon to get it, he didn't take more than a shower to get over a hookup and he never put emotions into it.

Hiei looked at me, arms folded over his chest. Clearly keeping himself withdrawn. It was almost like he was scared of me. I wasn't sure there was any reason for it. What could I do to him? Cry? Scream? Both? It wasn't like I was capable of hurting him. I could do it with words, but I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it.

"Onna… I have a favour to ask." I stared at him, confused. After that, he decided that he was going to ask me for a favour? That was ballsy as fuck after what happened. I mean, I couldn't say no to him, but it was still shitty timing on his part.

"Of course, Hiei," I said. Thank god he couldn't read my mind. The number of curses flying through it would've made a sailor cringe. He probably caught the Japanese curses, but the English and Scottish ones probably flew over his head. At least, calling him a scruffy nerf-herder was for sure over his head.

He sighed, sitting down. "I went to Hyouga." I tilted my head, confused. "The village Yukina and I were born in. I wanted to look into your idea."

"Ah," I nodded. "I see. Well, what did you find out?" I moved to the kettle, trying to distract myself. Tea. Back on the track of tea. What did he want to ask me about Yukina? I mean, there was only so much I could do if there was a problem with her or the baby. Grandma's books had to have something on pregnancy stuff. Not my specialty though. I stayed away from that since so much could go wrong with babies.

"You weren't wrong. They only poison the mothers if they have boys. Boys are usually the only product of interspecies liaisons, but there were a few that were girls, like Yukina. The mothers from that were fine. The one thing I was able to get was that the pregnancies are more dangerous at the best of times. Some women died before term, others made it. They hid it well." I nodded.

"It wouldn't be hard. Pregnancies go wrong in humans all the time, even with all the tech we currently have." I leaned back against the counter, my mug in my hands. "In a smaller village mostly cut off from the world, it makes sense that the mortality rate would be higher. Typically, they reproduce asexually, right?" I was picturing something akin to mitosis, but I doubted that was actually how it work.

"Yes, but apparently even that has things go wrong." I nodded. "It's the same birth process as every other kind of demon from what I know. Same as humans. Does that have a high mortality rate?"

"It can. So what does this mean for Yukina?" I wasn't going to go into all the things that could kill a pregnant lady or the fetus. Not worth scaring the shit out of him and getting Yukina put under house arrest.

"We have to be very careful, but she should come out ok." I nodded, a huge smile on my face.

"That's a relief. What's the favour then? Doing a spell for her and the baby?" I asked. "I was going to do that anyways; I was just thinking about it earlier. Grandma has some spells in one book or. another."

He shook his head. "No… That was something positive to make it easier." Those weren't Hiei's words...

"Kurama's idea?" I asked. He nodded. "Well, I expect that this is going to be a kick in the balls. Let me finish the tea first." I grabbed his favourite mug without even thinking about it. It was a taller mug that I had gotten at a showing of the Phantom of the Opera. I wasn't sure that he knew anything about the show, but he somehow always had the mug in his hands if he was home. If he was going to pick anything, I figured that the mask was a pretty good. He would've related to the Phantom more than anyone else in that play.

I handed him a hot cup of black tea. If he wanted something sweet, he could wait until I thought about his request. And he could drop a bunch of sugar into it. I'd have a physical aversion to it, but that's fine.

"So…" He stared at his mug, hesitating. This was serious if he was trying to put it off like this. "I'm going to go into heat. Which means that I'll have to fuck something." That was a classy way of putting it, but I'd give him a pass since he was clearly struggling with whatever this was.

"Ok. What do you need me for?"

"I was wondering if you would be able to… if you would…" He stuttered. Hiei? Stuttering? I felt like the end was coming. "Goddammit, onna I want to fuck you."

A crash echoed through the kitchen. The shattered remains of my mug were scattered on the floor. Fuck. There went the Eevee mug… at least I hadn't broken the good Slytherin mug or the Jack Skellington one.

Had he really just said that? Really? That was insane. He had decided to break my heart and then do this? I hated him so much at that moment. As if I didn't have enough right now. As if I needed this after he had called me an idiot for loving him.

"I know this is-" Hiei began, staring at the mess on the floor.

"If you say difficult, I might stab you with your own sword," I threatened. I'd clean the glass later, this was more important. Thank god I hadn't filled it yet. Burns were going to make today even worse than it was.

He nodded, going silent. I 'd have to throw out the remains of the mug later. It wasn't a memory I wanted to keep near and dear.

"What exactly do you want me to do with this information, Hiei?"

"I don't expect you to say yes. It was Kurama's idea after…" He trailed off.

"The incident?"

"No. Another thing. I'm not getting into it." I rolled my eyes.

"Look, if you have the balls to ask me this, you don't really get to say you're not getting into something if it influences my choice."

He sighed. "I had dreams about you. About exactly what I'm asking you to do. Kurama thinks it's because you are the safest choice if I don't want to get mated by some power hungry demon bitch. Mukuro isn't fertile, so she's out, and the other women I trust are mated. Therefore, you are the only female I trust enough to ask this from."

"Lovely. Is that supposed to flatter me?" I demanded. "Because it's not really doing a good job of it." He was basically admitting that I wasn't his first choice and that stung.

The fire demon nodded. "I understand." This was so incredibly out of character for Hiei. He seemed almost timid. I knew this was a blow to his pride. Having to come and ask me this. "I didn't expect a positive answer. This was just... the best option." For him. He didn't say it.

I hesitated, staring the floor. "I'm not saying no. Not yet. When do you need an answer?" He frowned.

"Less than a week. We should go into it on our 100th birthday."

"Ok. I'll let you know before then." My chest stung. I was shutting down. This entire conversation was painful.

He nodded, getting up. "Onna…" I looked at him, waiting for an answer. "I was wrong. To react the way that I did."

"I was wrong to say it. Next time, though, when I say I don't want to talk about something, maybe leave it alone?" He nodded. "I still meant it." He didn't nod, just turned towards the window and left. I didn't want to leave him with the impression that agreeing that I shouldn't have said it meant I didn't know how I felt.

I still had some doubts, but the longer I had been without him, the more I realized how bad it hurt. I loved that bastard and somehow in the depths of my mind, I knew that I was going to say yes to him. I was such a fucking pushover.

* * *

I heard the familiar click of a key in the lock. "I'm home!" Damon yelled. I heard a thud as the bag he brought back and forth landed on the ground.

"In the kitchen!" I yelled back. Damon appeared from the doorway, looking at the kitchen.

"Um, did a mug explode?" he asked. I nodded as I swept up the pieces. "Shit. Not my boob mug? Or my one of my pun mugs?"

"Your tits and puns are safe, don't worry. Eevee took the hit. It's been a bad time."

"What happened that made you sacrifice Eevee to the floor god?"

I sighed, sitting at the chair. "Hiei's back."

"And I need a drink if I'm going to go through this." Damon produced a small flask from his pocket. I decided not to ask. It wasn't going to have a good answer for me. "Alright, bitch, spill."

"Um, ok. He came back. Said some stuff about his mom and the ice maidens and then he asked me to have sex with him," I said. "Pretty much it."

Damon blinked, staring at me blindly. "He actually fucking asked you that? I told him not to!"

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?" I yelled.

"Yeah. I told him not to. Kurama supported him because he didn't think it would hurt, but I know you love him. You'd feel awful about saying no, but saying yes would just make everything worse." He paused. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that I'd think about it." Damon opened his mouth to object, but I cut him off. "Damon, don't."

"You and I both know you don't know how to say no to him. Hell, you gave the pizza guy a 50 percent tip because he said he was in university. You are too nice and can't not do the nice thing."

"Ever think that it's a little selfish?" I asked. He frowned, clearly confused. "That it's fucking Hiei? That I would do anything for him and let's be honest, the man's probably good in bed. If I'm going to lose my virginity to someone, might as well be someone that I'm close to and friends with." This was off-the-top-of-my-head justification. I knew, it, Damon probably knew it. But it was still true. It wasn't a horrible point.

"Or, just a thought," he began. "You end up developing more feelings for him and end up getting heartbroken when he uses you as a mating-period fleshlight and tosses you to the sad bin in the back of the closet with the other forgotten sex toys."

I shook my head, rubbing my head. "You make a vivid image, asshole. Also, what's the problem? I know what I'd be getting into. It's a favour for him. And I don't know why, Dae, but I really, really want it. It's such a stupid idea, I know. But fuck Damon, I can't help it."

"I don't like this. What if he just hurts you?"

"Well, we'll set ground rules. No emotions, which I know will be hard for me, but I'll deal with it. And we'll go back to normal after this."

"You're just trying to justify what you know is a bad choice." He wasn't wrong, I just shrugged. Everything was a problem in this scenario. It didn't matter that I knew it was a stupid choice. But I really wanted to help Hiei and I wanted to do it anyways. Might as well have sex, I was almost 23. It wasn't a bad idea.

Well, it was what was going to happen. Regardless of whether or not it was a good idea.

* * *

Damon was confused as hell. Why was Finley going through with it? It was bad news all around. Hiei wasn't capable of handling a real relationship. Or having a one night stand with someone as admittedly broken as Finley. She was getting better, but it was going to get worse if she fucked that fire 'd just end up hurting her and it could've been the straw that broke the horses back. Finley couldn't handle this. Not any time soon. It was just going to be painful.

And Finley. Finley couldn't handle this. Even if she thought she knew what was going to happen, she was wrong. Hiei reminded him of Matt. A dick that took what he wanted and didn't care about consequences for anyone but himself. Hiei had never treated Damon well. Finley, maybe, but the second she had feelings that might have made things complicated, he bailed. Then came back when he wanted something. That wasn't a good quality for friends. Damon didn't trust Hiei's intentions for a second. It wasn't like he had ever opened up to Fin. She barely fucking knew him.

He sighed, shaking his head. This was just making him angry. He needed to stop and get out of this house before he went in doubt, Damon called the only person whose voice he wanted to hear lately. "Hey, will you meet me at my place in like 40 minutes?"

The voice at the other end sounded confused. "Of course, Damon. Is something wrong?"At the sound of her voice, he immediately relaxed. All the tension flew out of his bones.

"Kinda. I need to vent and eat pizza."

"I'll be there. Should I bring anything?"

"Just your glowing attitude," Damon said. "Actually, movies. Don't care what, just pick something."

"Alright… I'll see you soon."

"Bye." He hung up, laying his arm across his forehead. He was so hopeless. Of all the people to call, Botan talked the most, but he didn't want to bitch to anyone else. All she'd have to do was smile at him and he'd be fine. Hell, just hearing her talk made him feel better.

Fuck, he was pathetic.

Getting changed into something a little more presentable, he looked himself over. Blazer, white tee-shirt, dark jeans. Damon was obsessed with his looks at the best of times. It was more for his own ego than impressing others. But as he looked at himself he wondered what Botan would think. Of course. Since when did he care about impressing anyone?

"Hey, Fin?" He asked, knocking on her door briefly before entering. She was laid on her bed, head hanging off the edge. Bane sat with his head on her stomach, fast asleep. He had to hold back a laugh. "What the fuck?"

She put her finger to her mouth. "He's asleep, I can't move. What's up?"

"Not you…" He shook his head, getting back on target. "I'm going to hang out with Botan. If you need anything, call me, ok?"

"OK. Have fun on your date."

The cambion froze, hands twitching. "It's not a date." It wasn't. He had asked her to come and eat pizza and watch a movie so he could bitch. That wasn't a date. It was one friend bitching to another. She looked him over, smirking.

"Unh huh. Tell that to your lovely little blazer." She sniffed, laughing. "And is that cologne? Dude, you're adorable."

"Ugh, fuck you. I'm leaving. Don't wait up."

"Have fun. Hope you get laid." He paused, almost going back to yell and deciding against it. He hoped he'd get laid too, but it wasn't going to happen any time soon. If it did, it would have to wait until Botan left. It wasn't going to happen with her. Even if he wanted it to. He couldn't risk fucking up a friendship like that. For once, he genuinely liked someone that wasn't toxic garbage. It was a romantic attraction, too, not the familial bond that he and Fin had developed.

The drive wasn't going fast enough. He wanted to get there and have a nice stiff drink before Botan got there and they ordered pizza. It was one of those days and times that really required a nice bottle of whiskey. Hell, maybe he'd be courteous to Botan and break out wine. He rarely drank the shit, but it was still nice on occasion. Or when he wanted to impress someone.

Who was he kidding, he never broke that shit out for his one-stands. It was just for her.

For a cambion that watched a lot of chick flicks, romance was apparently not his thing.

The second he got into his apartment he went for his drinks. Scotch on the rocks, stolen from Fin's ritual stock. He raised his glass to her grandmother. Maybe he hadn't met her, but he didn't need to be haunted by an angry old witch. The familiar burn carved it's way down his throat. One glass down. He immediately poured another. This was going to be a long night.

The buzzer went off. Damon walked to it, second glass of whiskey still in hand. "Hello?"

"It's me."

"Come on up." He buzzed Botan in, running a hand through his hair. He was so fucking nervous. For what, he wasn't sure. After all, it wasn't a date. He had asked her because he needed comfort, not because he wanted to impress her. She knew Hiei better than he did, anyways. He could ask her opinion.

Not try to get in her pants. That was a bad idea. But if Fin was going to fuck a friend, surely he could to. He shook his head again, trying to clear his mind. Fuck's sakes, he was losing it over her. Go fucking figure. He had to have some restraint for once. No hitting on Botan. Not even if she made a move first.

Botan came in, holding a stack of movies and a box of microwave popcorn. "Hey! I brought popcorn. I wasn't sure what you had here."

Damon grinned, taking the things from her. "Yeah, it's mostly alcohol and takeout menus here. I do have random snacks for when I get drunk and high though. Basically takeout where I don't have to try and communicate when I'm high out of my mind." Which he might have to do if she kept smiling at him like that. He really had to stop admitting his flaws to her. "I haven't ordered pizza yet, I wanted your input."

"Why thank you," she joked, sitting on his couch. He wasn't going to think about all the shit he'd done on that couch. Not with her sitting on it. _No wild boners now, Damon. Keep it under control_. She shed her jacket and that thought flew out the window. Fuck the gods of tight v-neck sweaters, because holy shit Damon wasn't doing well with it. He knew she had nice boobs, but this was another level entirely.

He grabbed the phone, dialling the number for the best pizza place he knew outside of New York. "Got a preference?"

"I'm a pepperoni kind of girl," she said. "I'll take anything, though." _No double entendres. Don't think about that._ He was thinking about it.

"I'll roll with it. At least you don't want Hawaiian." He placed the order, getting more food than he'd like to admit. He could eat that amount on his own. Not in front of Botan, but that was what the spare Doritos were for. He flopped down on the couch, setting his phone on the table. "And now we wait."

"Well, as we wait, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Damon let a hand drag through his hair. "You can't tell anyone about this, ok? I'm not even supposed to know, technically. Not that he would think Fin wouldn't tell me. Of course she would."

"So, I'm right thinking that this has to do with Hiei and Finley?" Damon nodded. "What happened now?"

"Well, she told him she loved him while we were in the Makai," he said, extending his arms across the back of the couch. "And he reacted with panic and hate and general Hiei-ness. She spiralled and decided to go and Sherlock the rebels. Right before this, however, I discovered that Mr Jackass is going into heat. I mean, I knew he was having sex dreams about her for a while and damn, they were raunchy. Even for me. So he's going to fuck her when he goes into it. She even agreed. And I can't seem to figure out why."

"Ah." Botan settled into the couch and tucked her legs underneath her, laying her head on his arm. "You're worried about her. Hiei would never hurt her. Not on purpose."

"He has, though. More than once."

"And he managed to humble himself to ask her for help after he hurt her. He knows he needs her help and he obviously knows he fucked up." Botan put a hand on his leg. "She's smart, she'll be fine. I know Hiei. Not well, but better than most. He cares about her more than he is willing to admit."

Damon nodded, a deep frown settling into his face. "She's been through hell and back, Botan. I'm not sure she'll be fine when he breaks her heart again. I'm scared. He's not exactly gentle about things."

"She's tougher than you give her credit for." She smiled at him. "It's sweet that you care so much. She's your little sister, but you're blinded by that." Damon sighed. Botan didn't hear the nightmares. She didn't see them. It was just pain and sadness for Fin. Especially if she slept with Hiei. It was just bad news. Botan did know Hiei better. Maybe he would treat her better. Fuck, he hoped he would.

"I guess… What movie do you wanna watch?" He needed to change the subject before he got angrier. He hadn't had a family before. All he wanted was to protect her. And Hiei didn't really fit into his family. Not yet, that was for damn sure.

"Well, you have quite the collection… I'm partial to classics, myself."

"Well… I have Roman Holiday, Mama Mia, Dracula and Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's kind of it." He mostly had a lot of fantasy and pop culture type movies. Not a lot of classics or foreign stuff. He liked horror, action, fantasy. Harry Potter, Insidious, the dreaded Peter Johnson movies that no one ever spoke of. (After Finley had exposed him to the books he understood why she refused to accept that they were the Percy Jackson movies.)

Botan looked through the stack of movies she had brought with her. "What about… this one?" She held up a copy of the Breakfast Club. That was one he forgot he loved, but it was a classic if there ever was one.

"I'm down. I haven't watched this in forever." He smiled, popping the disc in to his XBOX One and turning it on. The last time he had watched that was during a bender in Ohio. Nothing much else to do but get stoned and watch movies while he was there. Not like he had a job. He just figured that Ohio was a good place to drop off the world in the backwoods for a few months.

No offense intended to Ohio. Not a damn person in the world was going to drive out to his backwoods house in that winter. Well, Fin the crazy Canadian would've, but she did many questionable things in shit weather... 'cause Canada.

The pizza arrived and the movie played on. Botan smiled at him, half-eaten pizza in her hand. "This is amazing. Where did you hear about this place?"

Damon shrugged. "Walked around looking for food when I first moved here. I've tested pretty much everywhere within 10 blocks of this place and found the best of them so I wouldn't have to leave to order food." She shook her head, laughing. The sound sent shivers up his spine. Fuck, she was pretty.

"Well, I know where I'm coming for food recommendations from now on."

"You're on. The ramen place down the street in incredible; you'd love it." Damon took a sip of the whiskey in his hand. Drink and don't look at her. Try not to. She stretched, arms over her head. His eyes followed every curve of her body. Fuck, he was so screwed. Why did he have to talk to Botan? Why was she both the person he was most comfortable talking to and the girl he was admittedly in over his head with? He wasn't going to admit that he loved her. Not yet.

The sweater wasn't helping his lust. He hadn't gotten laid in a week and it was showing. Maybe not to anyone but him, but still.

They finally switched movies, popping in the 4th Harry Potter. In his humble opinion, it was the best of the movies. Fin argued for Prisoner of Azkaban, but Goblet of Fire was the hands down winner for Damon. After all, who hated dragons? These weren't tattooed onto a fire demon that wanted to fuck his little sister, so they were still ok.

"I don't know how she did it," Botan remarked as they got to the Weasley's home. "I mean, she's got 7 children, right? Imagine how much strength she had to have to do that."

He smiled at her. "Molly Weasley is a goddamn force to be reckoned with. If you don't have a mom it's ok, cause she's your mom now. I would never want to have kids like that."

"Never?"

"Nope. Never." Another huge gulp of whiskey. _Don't pry your eyes from the TV, Damon._ "I would be a shitty dad, and I know it. No sense bringing a kid into this world that can't control himself young. They'd have the same problems I did." He paused, looking her over. No time like the present to see if his hopes were unfounded. "You?" That one word, one question, made him hold his breath.

"Maybe. Doesn't really matter, though. I can't have any of my own."

"What?"

Pink eyes glanced at him. "I'm a grim reaper, Damon. I'm dead. No children." Damon opened his mouth to try and apologize, but she cut him off. "Don't apologize. I made my peace with it a while ago. Three hundred years gave me plenty of time."

"Still can't be easy. Not like you volunteered for it."

She sighed. "I wasn't married when I died, anyways. Plus with the plague and all it was unlikely I would've ever had the opportunity. Life expectancy wasn't great back in my day."

He laughed without meaning to. "Nice choice of words there grandma. You can always adopt if you want a kid, though."

"I know. And one day, I might. Honestly, the longer I live the more I think that my life just isn't cut out for a family. Marriage, maybe. But not a family. With all the things going on in my life it wouldn't be fair to drag a kid into that."

Damon nodded. "Yeah, that I get. I don't think I've knocked anyone up, but at this point I honestly don't know. If the girl I'm with doesn't like condoms or isn't on birth control, it's a swift kick out the door for me. I'm not turning some poor girl into my mom." No one was more afraid of birth control failure than Damon.

"What if there was someone that didn't want children? Or couldn't have them?" Was she asking because she was just curious, or because she was interested him? God, he hoped it was the latter.

"As long as it stayed that way, I'd be on board. But I don't want to take away anyone's desire to be a parent, you know? Like I want to be an uncle, but fuck being a dad." People in bright robes flew across the screen. He focused on that and not the blue-haired girl next to her. Do not focus on Botan. "I understand why you'd want to be a parent, y'know? But it's not for me. Some people it's their dream."

"I understand that. It's part of why I haven't dated," she said. "No need to take that away from anyone. Anyways, I'm not exactly around many eligible bachelors that are interested."

Damon scoffed. "That's hardly true."

"What do you mean?"

"You really think no one's interested?" He asked, confused. "Cause if so, you're sadly mistaken."

Pink eyes met blue. "Damon, what are you saying?" Was that hope that he saw there?

It was official. Damon needed to stop drinking. Why? Because when he drank, he did stupid things. He was a stupid, stupid drunk. And his next move just cemented that.

Without a second drunken thought, he grabbed the back of her head, pressing his lips to hers. Bad fucking choice. She was frozen in place when Damon pulled away. He watched her hand move to her mouth, her eyes flick to him.

"Damon, I-"

"Please don't. That was stupid. I'm sorry." He shook his head, leaning back on the couch. In a swift movement she was straddling him. His breath caught in his throat. Her lips were right fucking there. He could kiss her again. She was right there.

"Did you mean to do that?" she demanded. All he could do was nod, still kind of starstruck that he had done it. "Thank god." She grabbed him, kissing him hard again. He returned it, praying to god that she didn't regret this the next day.

Everything was hot, heavy. Hands were everywhere, tugging at clothes and leaving them discarded on the floor. It all came on like a blur and as they got to the bedroom Damon prayed to every god he knew that whiskey dick didn't strike.

Who was h kidding? He was a fucking cambion; he needed sex. She was wearing a baby blue bra and panty set. He was going to be damn hard when it came to her.

She laid down, tugging him down with her. He kissed her hard, knotting his hand in her hair. The two of them tangled together on top of the sheets as the last of the fabric was stripped away.

He pushed away for a second, breathing heavy. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've wanted to for a while, you idiot," she said with a smile. "Now kiss me." Damon could feel his face light up as he went in for another kiss.

For the first time in years, Damon let himself sink into another person. Let himself fall into the sensation of being held by another person. Of being cared for and being loved by another person. It wasn't the same as letting himself be in his little family. He had been missing this feeling for years.

It was the first time he had let another person in his heart since Matt.

* * *

Ooh la la! Finally, Damon gets the girl. In my opinion he definitely deserves this and so does Botan. Finley is in a little bit of a tight spot, which I'm into. But then again few people wouldn't be willing to sleep with Hiei. Again, I'm sorry this took me so long to get out, but I'm glad I did and I hope you guys think it was worth the wait.

Also, this was my first time doing any sexy, romance-y, lemon-y stuff, so any and all feedback is appreciated. I want to do a little more of this in this story later (hopefully)

As always, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to leave any reviews or comments, and I hope you guys have a great day!


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